Lilith666 Posted January 3, 2017 Share Posted January 3, 2017 Today was my cousin's wedding; both bride and groom grew up Christian (fiancé possibly in conservative family, but I'm not certain about that; cousin definitely fundy). The ceremony took place at Cousin's home church. The ministers who gave a short speech and read the marriage charges kept talking about submission of wives to husbands; the second minister in particular enjoyed dwelling on it, repeating that the biblical marriage hierarchy isn't outdated, whatever the "postmodernist" popular culture says. I got the feeling he kept on about it because Cousin and husband are 20-22 years old, so the minister felt he had to correct whatever newfangled ideas they had about women's autonomy. I also have started perceiving recently that Cousin and husband are not as conservative as their parents, and their vows did not include "obey," which made it seem like the minister was imposing his views on them a little bit. At any rate, it didn't seem right for him to use their wedding to push his agenda. I was a bridesmaid, so I stood there thinking: I will not throw this bouquet. I will not throw this bouquet. I will not throw this bouquet. I will not punch the minister. The charge to the groom said something about the phrase "I am third," meaning that everyone is of third importance in his or her own life - behind gawd, and then spouse/partner and children and everyone else from coworkers to anyone who has any sort of part in someone's life. OK, that is garbage. No imaginary friend should take a priority role in anyone's life, a friend who can't be seen, heard, touched, or otherwise communicated with except through an ancient, vaguely-written book and mutual friends of this imaginary person. That is CHILDISH. Second, nobody is less important than other people. We all have the same value. To an extent, it's the decent thing to do to put others before yourself, from doing favors to saving people's lives. However, carried to its logical conclusion, this phrase leads to getting walked on and worn out when you continually assume you are less important and act accordingly. If it's true that all others besides ourselves are equal, why should we believe any differently about ourselves? I despise this mushy marshmallow creed. Everyone is the most important person in his or her own life. Each of us exists for our own individual sakes. To think otherwise is slavery, and I have no interest in being a slave. Christians can take their religion that teaches people to hate themselves and stuff it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator TheRedneckProfessor Posted January 3, 2017 Super Moderator Share Posted January 3, 2017 Jesus Others You... The secret to JOY. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
♦ ficino ♦ Posted January 3, 2017 Share Posted January 3, 2017 Good points. It's exhausting to have fundamentalist relatives. And saddening. Sometimes maddening. Maybe there's a kind of practice of desirelessness that is good, I don't know. I'm inclined to think it's fraudulent. Anyway, I think the Christian Jesus - others - you thing makes Christians feel good. In practice, it goes against so much about human nature that not even Christians really follow it. So too often, the result is a resentful, mean-spirited person who is fine with controlling other people while claiming it's all in love. And this translates into oppressive systems that benefit the leadership in this order: leaders - others - Jesus. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted January 3, 2017 Super Moderator Share Posted January 3, 2017 I don't understand those who insist that Christianity isn't a cult. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith666 Posted January 3, 2017 Author Share Posted January 3, 2017 To defend against that idea of being a cult, they've warned members against other cults; then in members' minds, they can't possibly be one themselves. To make ultra-sure Christians are terrified of cults, they have made themselves afraid even to read Harry Potter and practice yoga because it might let the devil in. Thus, the word "cult" elicits images of spooky secret midnight meetings and drawing pentagrams, not brunches, coffee hours, and listening to some uplifting words on Sunday. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sybaris Posted January 7, 2017 Share Posted January 7, 2017 Yeah, I never possessed enough self-loathing to be a Christian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rjn Posted January 8, 2017 Share Posted January 8, 2017 Good points. It's exhausting to have fundamentalist relatives. And saddening. Sometimes maddening. Maybe there's a kind of practice of desirelessness that is good, I don't know. I'm inclined to think it's fraudulent. Anyway, I think the Christian Jesus - others - you thing makes Christians feel good. In practice, it goes against so much about human nature that not even Christians really follow it. So too often, the result is a resentful, mean-spirited person who is fine with controlling other people while claiming it's all in love. And this translates into oppressive systems that benefit the leadership in this order: leaders - others - Jesus. I actually think that is a key element to achieving lasting happiness, but by all means, if an idea is espoused by an ideology that is largely BS, let's discard it completely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hockeyfan70 Posted January 20, 2017 Share Posted January 20, 2017 There is a christian movement called I Am Second where quasi-celebrities have given their testimonies and such. Maybe he was just trying to out-one the I Am Second movement and show everyone he was even more holy than they. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilith666 Posted January 20, 2017 Author Share Posted January 20, 2017 By the way, I posted a rant awhile ago about my grandfather's funeral, at which the minister reminded us that non-Christians are going to hell and encouraged those who have no hope to invite Jeebus into their hearts. It couldn't be just about family and all that, he had to stick in some emotional manipulation, and make it harder on Christian relatives. That was the same guy who slobbered all over the wedding with his submission crap. If the vows had included something about traditional gender roles, it would have made more sense. But they didn't, and he decided to make half his speech to Cousin about that. It's disgusting that some Christians make something that isn't about them into a pulpit for themselves. Anyway, Husband seems like a decent guy. If he cares about Cousin as much as he appears to do, he'll toss that garbage out the window. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sybaris Posted January 21, 2017 Share Posted January 21, 2017 Everyone is the most important person in his or her own life. Each of us exists for our own individual sakes. To think otherwise is slavery, and I have no interest in being a slave. Christian response: "Be a slave to Jaysus you prideful sinner!!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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