Explain Something Like You're Calvin's Dad.

[ContraBardus]

As in Calvin and Hobbes.

 

Take a random question, and then answer it as if you're Calvin's Dad answering one of Calvin's questions.

 

For example:

 

Why doesn't the US use the metric system?

 

We accidentally threw the notes that had the measurement system on them into the Boston Harbor with the tea. Nobody could remember it without the notes, and we couldn't go back to England to get another copy after that, so we just made something up. It was supposed to be temporary, but after a while we just got used to it and decided to just keep using it.

 

Why are so many celebrities mad that Donald Trump is President?

 

Ronald Reagan did it first actually. He was an actor once. He died though and the rights to being celebrity president lapsed a few years back. Donald Trump decided to buy them and now he owns the rights.

Celebrities thrive on drama and lawsuits. They also all have massive egos. Now that one of them has managed it, the others can't do it without Donald Trump suing them for copyright infringement to protect his brand. He outbid some pretty big names and some of them are a bit sore about it.

 

Others can try an alternate answer to someone else's question, or just post a new question. Just posting a question for someone else to answer is also fine.

[older]

How can there be one God yet there is a trinity?

 

It's a mathematical proof. Think of  the one God as a square. Because it is one, it has sides of one and and an area of one. Now draw a diagonal across that square, to divide it into two, representing God and Jesus. But because God and Jesus are one, make that diagonal into another square, overlapping the first at a 45 degree angle (which points up to heaven). The part of that new squaare outside the overlapped area represents the Holy Ghost. That square has sides which are the square root of 2 and, therefore, an area of two. So the square with an area of 1 plus the square with an area of 2 equals three, which is the trinity.

[older]

What is gravity, anyway?

 

https://renatomassone.wordpress.com/2005/05/12/what-exactly-is-gravity-anyway/

[I Broke Free]

I can remember one time when my dad actually did explain something to me like Calvin’s dad.

 

Sometime around 1965 when I was five years old. We were on a family vacation and driving around dusk when noticed a very tall red and white metal tower. [A radio transmission tower] I asked my dad, “Dad, what is the red light for on top of the tower for?”  His response “It’s to keep aircraft from hitting the tower at night.”  My follow up question “What is the tower for?” and my dad’s response, “It holds up the red light.”  I bought that answer and did not question if for a number of more miles.

[Guest Ann]

I don't think I can craft an answer like Calvin's dad, but the post does remind me of my friend's story about his mom's solution for kids who make requests while she was driving.

 

When my friend was a child, his mother would run errands with him and his brother sitting in the back seats of the car. He remembered one day the two siblings got fed up with the errand running so while their mom was driving, they asked if she would stop at a toy store so she could reward their good behavior with a toy. Without skipping a beat the mom said "I would love to and I wish I could, but you see, I can't get to the toy store from here." He said that answer worked for years and by the time they remembered to question her about it, they were too big to ask for a toy.

 

[older]

Calvin:
Dad, how come old photographs are always black and white? didn't they have color film back then?

 

Dad:
Sure they did. In fact, those old photographs are in color. It's just the world was black and white then.

 

Calvin:
Really?

 

Dad:
Yep. The world didn't turn color until sometime in the 1930s, and it was pretty grainy color for a while, too.

 

Calvin:
That's really weird.

 

Dad:
Well, truth is stranger than fiction.

 

Calvin:
But then why are old paintings in color? If the world was black and white, wouldn't artists have painted it that way?

 

Dad:
Not necessarily. A lot of great artists were insane.

 

Calvin:
But... but how cold they have painted in color anyway? Wouldn't their paints have been shades of gray back then?

 

Dad:
Of course. But they turned colors like everything else did in the '30s.

 

Calvin:
So why didn't old black and white photos turn color too?

 

Dad:
Because they were color pictures of black and white, remember?

 

Calvin (to Hobbes):
The world is a complicated place, Hobbes.

 

Hobbes:
Whenever it seems that way, I take a nap in a tree and wait for dinner.

[older]

I have a wonderful grandson who is a serious chatterbox. In fact, he takes ADHD meds, but he still talks constantly regardless of whether anyone is listening. I have told him that if he uses up all his words, he won't have any left for when he grows up. Unfortunately, it doesn't work.