Jump to content
Goodbye Jesus

I Hate Christianity!


LordProtectorOliverCromwell

Recommended Posts

Every Friday and Sunday, I am dragged by my mother to a most wicked and depraved establishment: Church. There I am forced to partake in degrading and absurd rituals, and am compelled to praise and worship an undead Jewish zombie who is his own father in order to relieve myself of the original sin which blights all humanity because a rib-woman listened to a talking snake and ate fruit forbidden by God but which he chose to create in order to tempt the very creation he punished for falling into temptation.

 

On certain occasions, I have been compelled to take part in the vampiric monstrosity of communion. In this sordid event, I am obligated to drink the blood of a god to remember the moment when a Galilean cult-leader in the days of the Roman Empire made his followers drink said blood. I am further obligated to EAT HIS FLESH. We are told that doing so will heal us of our diseases. That is disgusting. The idea that I have to drink the blood of a god to receive relief from sickness is appalling and despicable.

 

I am forced to listen to the inane rantings of false prophets and self-righteous pastors, to whom my credulous mother gives money. I am made to worship a God whom, despite being omnipotent, is so insecure that he requires constant reminders of how wonderful and glorious he is. I must prostrate myself before this tyrannical monster, because everyone else is doing and it is what I have been programmed to do from birth.

 

In this celestial mini-North Korea, we are told of the life to come in the even greater celestial North Korea, heaven. A place that, if it existed, would be my hell. A place where I must worship God for eternity as my "reward" for serving him on earth. A place where there is no sex, no food, no marriage, no relationships - nothing! Just an ever-lasting party and praise and worship session for a sadistic and greedy deity. It doesn't occur to my mother that a so-called omnibenevolent God would not force you to endure the spectacle of seeing your unbelieving relatives in hell, but apparently that's legit. I am supposed to believe that my dad (a pastor who served God all his life) is there, or should be there, praising and worshipping a God whose reward for his many years of service was to kill him with a rare, horrific and agonising form of cancer over the course of merely a year (he died in November of last year). I am supposed to believe that God watched that, let him suffer and die and then whisked him to heaven so that he can praise and worship the God that did this to him and to his family, ignoring all our prayers, supplications and offerings. That is obscene and disgusting. That is sordid, wicked and sadistic.

 

I hate having to take seriously a ridiculous book written by stupid, ignorant and illiterate men from the Bronze Age, and treat it like it has some amazing insights that can't be gleaned from a page of Kant or Plato or Nietzsche, that is wildly incoherent, inconsistent, absurd and in many instances reports events that are wildly untrue, that has been translated and pieces together over centuries by different people with different interests.

 

I hate the morality of the Bible, which encourages weakness, meekness, humility and turning the other cheek. How dare you ask me to love my enemies. I hate my enemies (i.e. ISIS) and wish to kill them and do harm to them. I will not leave my family for a crazy hippie cult leader. The parable of John 8:7 is absurd - how else are we to have a criminal justice system if we aren't allowed to judge people? And no, I will not love my neighbour as I love myself - some peasants in Cambodia are not equal in my affections to, say, my relatives or myself.

 

I hate having to pretend to believe, and go through the motions, and fake praying and worshipping, such that I've given up. My mum noticed this, and after church today she demanded to know why I don't close my eyes, pray and lift up my hands high like before. I couldn't say anything. I couldn't tell her I don't believe. I was furious with myself. I want to wait until uni when I'm away from home (later this year) but gosh, several more months of this? This moral cowardice, evasion, surrender, propitiation and prostration? How much more of this can I take?

 

My younger brother has been open about the fact that he no longer believes, and I envy his audacity. My mother is worried about him and has arranged for pastoral intervention. Sadly, I have to play the role of the mature elder brother, and accept the "will of God", and pretend to continue to have strong faith in this so-called god. I do not want the recriminations, the arguments, the pastoral intervention, the prayer and "deliverance" sessions, the guilt-tripping and the estrangement from relatives that this will bring. But I really am sick and tired.

 

I wish more people understood what it's like to be raised in a religion your entire life and then finding out it's all nonsense (like I did when I was 15). I'm afraid that I'll have to accept it for a few more months, but in the meantime I'll have to allow myself to be dragged to church to participate in this disgusting travesty. My younger brother is still dragged off to church, but he is openly a non-believer. My mother has actually arranged for "intervention" sessions between him and the Pastor of the church to "persuade" him of the truth of Christianity. Seriously, if he asks me to confirm that I believe to ensure I'm not veering onto the same path as my brother, I'll be tempted to tell him no, I don't, and that I believe that he is a liar, a robber and a con-man.

 

I actually feel better about coming out as an atheist than as bi. African heritage + Christianity = violent homophobia. In fact, the disgusting pastor of my church (who offered "interventions" with my brother and, according to the government records of the church, earned over £650,000 in income of its credulous congregation's money in 2015, some of it ours, no doubt) criticised Obama in his sermons, of all the things he could have criticised Obama for, for criticising African countries for persecuting gays, accusing him of seeking to spread "gayism", and praised the gay-killing, gay-imprisoning Robert Mugabe for standing up to him and rejecting homosexuality. My dad (when he was alive) voiced approval of Mugabe's actions too, criticising the West for trying to force its values on Africans. (Unfortunately he died rather than that con-man pastor or Mugabe.)

 

To add insult to injury, in this absurd church the pastor's son-in-law, so-called "prophet", used to preside over some services and at a prayer meeting on the 31st December 2015, made the most absurd claims imaginable, asserting that in 2016 Tesco would collapse, African presidents will die etc. I tabulated all of these inanities, and nothing happened. Not a single prophecy. To add insult to injury, we were asked to bring our "first fruits" (including Christmas money given to us by our uncle) and give it to the church as part of our offerings for the New Year, embedding within them prayer requests. One of ours was for my dad to be healed (we didn't know he had cancer yet). That year he died.

 

If I went to a "normal" church, and not a crazy African Charismatic one, perhaps I'd be less annoyed. In my "church" we perform acts such as the drinking of juice which we "pray" into becoming the blood of Jesus, we have rolling, speaking in tongues and all of that nonsense. In a church I usually go to on Fridays, the "prophet" is the beneficiary of much largesse from credulous members. Sometimes he'll announce "God is telling me that x amount of people must give x amount of money". They do so obediently. Sometimes he'll point at a church member and say "Give x amount of money or a relative will die on (date)." He sells oil and towels and T-shirts with the church logo on it (so much for Jesus chasing the money-changers out of the temple). He told my mum that God would heal my dad in eight days. A few weeks later he died. Months before then, we had gone to another charlatan pastor, who gave us a pineapple, told us to make tea out of it, serve it to my dad and in seven days he would be healed. Needless to say, nothing.

 

I can't believe we go to such awful places every Sunday, and give them our money, and take seriously their nonsense. I wonder how much my parents have given to church all these years. All that money could have been put into a bank account and saved for something useful.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites



Keeping this site online isn't free, so we need your support! Make a one-time donation or choose one of the recurrent patron options by clicking here.



Holy crap! It looks like you're going through hell, right now! Good luck! Hopefully, you can make your exit from this vile institution soon.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Super Moderator

I understand your position. Hang in there until you reach the age of majority and you can then avoid church involvement. 

 

I get that you're pissed off about everything to do with the religion, but take a breath, dial it back a bit. Please, no more new posts for now; let there be some responses to the several topics you've already started.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator

Hi LordprotectorOlicerCromwell (Can I shorten that to LPOC? smile.png )

 

Welcome to Ex-C! That's one heck of an intro

 

Every Friday and Sunday, I am dragged by my mother to a most wicked and depraved establishment: Church. There I am forced to partake in degrading and absurd rituals, and am compelled to praise and worship an undead Jewish zombie who is his own father in order to relieve myself of the original sin which blights all humanity because a rib-woman listened to a talking snake and ate fruit forbidden by God but which he chose to create in order to tempt the very creation he punished for falling into temptation.

THAT pretty much sums up Christianity

 

I wish more people understood what it's like to be raised in a religion your entire life and then finding out it's all nonsense (like I did when I was 15). I'm afraid that I'll have to accept it for a few more months, but in the meantime I'll have to allow myself to be dragged to church to participate in this disgusting travesty. My younger brother is still dragged off to church, but he is openly a non-believer. My mother has actually arranged for "intervention" sessions between him and the Pastor of the church to "persuade" him of the truth of Christianity. Seriously, if he asks me to confirm that I believe to ensure I'm not veering onto the same path as my brother, I'll be tempted to tell him no, I don't, and that I believe that he is a liar, a robber and a con-man.

Here you are with people who understand all to well and all too painfully. Your story is actually brining back quite recent painful memories. You are not alone. The only thing I'd be concerned of at this stage is your age and ability to support yourself. Christians are not above applying immense pressure in this area so I would caution you to use wisdom. If you feel that in the event of you being cast out that you can live and support yourself, by all means express your beliefs. If you can't, I'd suggest nodding your head and play acting until such a time as you can support yourself and are thus not tied to a group of people that will have no qualms in applying all sorts of inappropriate persuasions.

 

I actually feel better about coming out as an atheist than as bi.

I feel for you. Though I am straight I asked my father what would be his response if I instead came out and said I was homosexual but still believed God? Would that be better than me saying I'm straight but don't believe in God. He said no, If I said I'm gay, regardless of my beliefs I would not be his son. THIS is the true horror of what religious belief can do. My father is not a bad man, but religion has twisted him to the point that when Leviticus says to stone homosexuals, he believes that.

 

One of ours was for my dad to be healed (we didn't know he had cancer yet). That year he died.

I'm very sorry to hear that. Christians refuse to acknowledged that there is no link between praying for someone and them getting better. What happens is for 10 things, 10 prayers are made. One of them the person gets better and they claim it was God and ignore the other 9 unanswered prayer.

 

I can't believe we go to such awful places every Sunday, and give them our money, and take seriously their nonsense. I wonder how much my parents have given to church all these years. All that money could have been put into a bank account and saved for something useful.

Aye, I'm still giving 10% - I can't quite yet bring myself to tell my father who is the pastor of our very small church that I'm essentially cutting funding for him. This will have a big impact on my mum and dad... my tithes makes up a significant portion of their income, they will feel it when I do stop... eventually... when I pluck up courage or stop caring.

 

So I wish you all the best, keep in touch, and make sure you can support yourself before making drastic moves!

 

LF

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry you and your brother are dealing with this. A few months is not long to wait, really. Try to laugh internally at the absurdity until you can leave home.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Moderator

Welcome to Ex-c LPOC. We here at Ex-c totally understand what you are going through with the lie of christianity. So very sorry to hear about your dad. I'm sure that must have added to your anger at the invisible christian god.  Take your time, slow down and breathe. You have plenty of time here to work out all the frustration and anger you are feeling right now. A lot of us arrived here with the exact same bitterness. Really glad you found us. Read some of the testimonies of others and you will see that you are not alone.

 

(hug) 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome!

You can do it. I'm so glad it's only a few more months for you, though I also get how long that can be. It sounds horrible. Hang in there.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome, LPOC (if I may abbreviate). I'm not on here much anymore as far as comments go, but I do lurk around a bit. I feel for you. Two years ago, I was in your exact position, from being stuck in church (living with my mother because I had not been taught basic adult living skills) to being bisexual. Now, I am completely independent and thriving, in school to get a degree in psychology and counseling, married, a known heathen, and strangely close to my mother (with boundaries. Lots of boundaries). In other words, things do get better. My younger brother is arriving at your position now, and I will tell you what I have told him: play the game. You've been playing the game for years, and you only have a few months left. Keep playing, and plan your escape. Gather your resources, build up a support system. Get everything in place so that when you go to university, you are able to be functional, stable and secure. Right now your panic is because you are in survival mode, so do what your body is programmed to do and survive. Save up some money, learn new skills, make a budget. Anything to help you when you're free from the church. Remember that most people will abandon you once you're outed (as a Christian and as queer), so find people who won't. I found Ex-C. You can visit my profile to find my first post about my personal story. Only 10 months after that, I am thriving even more. There is hope for your situation. Your future is NOT in God's hands; it is in YOURS.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.