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Goodbye Jesus

Fake Tongues


LordProtectorOliverCromwell

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My churchmates told me to just start out with whatever inane thing popped into my head and THAT was the gift of tongues. I never did utter the stupidity of that.

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Funny. In acts "tongues" were another country's language and not some gibberish that required a magic interpretation.

People there heard speech in their own mother tongue.

 

IIRC that is. Don't spend much bible time last 10 years or so since throwing it away

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Shakala rashiala boarashti chievamara kushti lerey.... so-so-so-soobanaa haya rekali maya mama!

 

It's all bullshit. Check out the crap I posted in the "Videos of Fundy Insanity" thread (I think it's second video I posted) and it should be apparent to anyone who's either not a fanatic or a complete dimwit that they're just making shit up. It sounds like inane babbling, which, of course, is exactly what it is.

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Jeff is exactly right, as is rjn.

 

In the Bible it wasn't some spiritual babbling tongues and interpretations nonsense.

 

It was the people from the Upper room speaking in Galilean, and peoples from other nations hearing that in their own language. However it's likely that never happened, unless (say like rjn) they could speak two or more languages and thus understood the Galilean but auto translated to their mother tongue. I'm not sure how knowing two languages works - rjn to translate English back to Swedish or you just understand both independently? In that case though it wasn't the holy Ghost, it was just natural understanding another language.

 

These days its all insane babbling. I can still remember my Grandmother doing it and she'd say "emselah emselah" - this is probably a take on the biblical word Selah, but combining it with gibberish then calling it tongues.

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I'm not sure how knowing two languages works - rjn to translate English back to Swedish or you just understand both independently?

 

The latter. If you truly understand another language, there's no need for translation, it comes to you naturally. I'm aware that I make the occasional grammatical mistake every now and then, but in general, English feels just as natural to me as my native tongue. We begin studying English in second grade, and are surrounded by American pop culture, so there's nothing alien about it at all.

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Yep, it was Paul that changed it over to the "tongues of angels" uttering mysteries. Before that it was supposed to be a bona fide miracle of speaking another language you hadn't learned.

I know ex-believers that became pagans and still do it. So much for the holy spirit.

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I know ex-believers that became pagans and still do it. So much for the holy spirit.

 

But they are mocking the Lord! :o

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I've said it before and I'll say it again. iboughtahyundaishouldaboughtahonda

 

Funny thing is, I wanted so bad to speak in tongues when I was in the Pentecostal church, and I finally did.  Now I don't even believe it anymore, but I can still do it.

 

Tongues, as in "Pentecostal church" may be fake, but a lot of other people from other beliefs do the same thing. There was a great thread about this here once, quite a few years ago. I can't find it just now.

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Dude!

 

You have the gift of Prophecy! 

 

I bought a Sante Fe back in '12 instead of a Honda CR!!!

 

WhOoooOOo Hooo!

 

kL

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The funny thing is that I remember when I was young I badly wanted to be able to speak tongues and I faked tongues during a prayer session we were having at my house. Then my mum told me after the service that I shouldn't fake tongues, they'll come naturally. Fancy me coming to the understanding that ALL tongues are fake. She was faking them herself lmao.

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Don't know if I has been mentioned...

 

Glossolalia is the actual term for this shit.

 

James Randi taught me that once in an email. :)

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I really wish Shundai meant "Hail Satan" or "Your mothers a whore" in some language somewhere. That would be choice.

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Once in a small Pentecostal church I visited, they were intent that I speak in tongues, so I spoke a phrase of Nahuatl (Aztec) and they were satisfied (and I laughed inwardly). I had learned it from a missionary.

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I wanted to be baptized in the holy spirit, but I didn't want to speak in tongues and draw attention to myself. I whispered in tongues instead. It was whatever random syllables came into my head.

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Unfortunately we were pentecostals so I am quite familiar with fakery of babbling in tongues.

 

It was sort of an unspoken rule in my church that if you couldn't speak in tongues perhaps your faith was weak, or you had sin you were holding on to so the Holy Spirit was kicking you to the curb until you got your shit together spiritually.  So, it was better to fake it then look like you weren't one of the club, a bona file True Christian ™.

 

Sakalaka fukamutha sukka fukka bitch ho cocksucka

 

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To a Christian, what are fake tongues? Nonsense syllables can easily come into my head. How do I know if the syllables are real or fake? 

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I think we can sum speaking in tongues up as: Going back to baby gobbley gook speak.

 

I present evidence for my case:

 

(Gota admit, this is more coherent than some adults!)

 

(Tongues and interpretation)

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LF: the best part is, those adorable little toddlers have no fucking clue who Jesus or YHWH are, and they seem to be getting along just fine.

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rjn: Yep! Cute watching the twins learning to communicate, even cuter the toddler conversing with her father as if what she is saying should make sense to us :)

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I really wish Shundai meant "Hail Satan" or "Your mothers a whore" in some language somewhere. That would be choice.

 

Jeff, what if you went back to church and claimed the gift of interpretation? wicked.gif

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Dude!

 

You have the gift of Prophecy! 

 

I bought a Sante Fe back in '12 instead of a Honda CR!!!

 

WhOoooOOo Hooo!

 

kL

 

Yessssss.   Touch NOT the Lard's anointed!  

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