DarkBishop

Guilt

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Hey everyone,

     I thought I was going to be able to look into other faiths and practises with a free conscience after deconversion. I mean I can mock God, curse God, and not believe in God with a guilt free conscience. Why is it when I'm reading into other faiths that feeling comes back like I'm doing something wrong. Have any of you had this issue? Maybe I'm just having a mental fear relapse today I dunno. 

 

Dark Bishop

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It will be some ingrained psychological mechanism that hasn't cleared itself out of your brain at this point. You are still pretty fresh, as am I. I still get guilt feelings - you'd be surprised how much of you thinking is still influenced by your religious indoctrination.

 

So I'd say yes, others do have this issue, in fact I think its quite a common phenomena among de converts. Possibly it passes in time, though I have heard some people still waking up 30 years later worried about going to hell even though they stopped believing in God 30 years prior.

 

Perhaps one of our more knowledgeable members can give a better run down as to the actual why/how you are still feeling guilt.

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It's very common to have some bumps along the road like this. Our minds were immersed in religion for years.  Don't be surprised that aspects of it rise to the surface, especially in your more vulnerable moments.  I think you'll find this will diminish over time.  Don't let it bother you. 

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Get into some comparative religion reading or listening to lectures. When you're contrasting christianity against these other religions it feels a little different than if you're just reading some other religion. Joseph Campbell is good. 

 

https://www.amazon.com/Thou-Art-That-Transforming-Religious/dp/1608681874

 

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The above is relevant to ex christian spirituality. You can see how christianity fairs against other spiritual traditions which can then raise questions about why we interpret christianity in the way that we do instead of interpreting it like so many other people in world interpret their mythologies, as metaphor. You delve into the question of a metaphor for what? And in seeking the answer find your true identity as "That." 

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After Josh mentioned Joseph Campbell a few times, I learned that he (Campbell, not Josh, haha) did a series of interviews with Bill Moyers on PBS in the 80s.  You can watch them here:

http://livelearnevolve.com/joseph-campbell-power-myth/

Just be aware this site has the first two videos switched around. You can find a full transcript of each episode here:

http://billmoyers.com/series/joseph-campbell-and-the-power-of-myth-1988/

I've watched one and a half episodes and it's very thought-provoking. Even at this early stage of my exploration, I'm starting to see how spiritually shallow and one-dimensional Christianity seems.  

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^ That's an important piece of the puzzle. They don't just get spanked by atheism. They get spanked by eastern mysticism as well. It's a classic bluff, christianity's bold claims of spiritual supremacy. Knowing all of this detail adds weight to the debate.   

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Try moving straight from Christianity into paganism - with all the doubts and uncertainties about devil worship along the way.  Yes, such worries intruded.

 

The answer, frankly, is to get on and do it.  Recognise the nonsense of this emotion and act accordingly.

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Thanks everyone for the replies. Gaining more knowledge is diffinitely the biggest key in deprogramming the brain from years of religious indoctrination. I was just having a few days there where those old feelings started to rise up again. Probably won't be the last time it happens I'm sure. 

      I want you guys to know from the bottom of my heart I truly do appreciate your support during this. It is kinda a lonely process in the real world at this point. So this online support I have here really means a lot to me. Not trying to sound mushy or anything, I'm just an honest person.

 

Dark Bishop

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The first time I went to the world pantheism movement website I remember getting a weird feeling like you're talking about. It's mainly because I had no real idea of what pantheism even meant. It had a dark sense of christian stereotype feel about it. I'd probably heard the term before while growing up, but thought of it as the belief that a literal deity inhabits the world.  To my surprise I found that pantheism was nothing of the sort and that it makes a lot of sense. But those old indoctrination feelings were there.

 

These are like threshold guardians. If you read up on Joseph Campbell you'll find a lot to do with the hero myths of the world. In your own Heros Journey, you're passing threshold guardians. These scary mythological images of guardians at the gate that you must pass at different points. Guardians at the gate of reading and learning about other peoples religious beliefs. If you push through those gates you'll have gained more personal depth and the journey will continue...

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Hey DB, you might find this book to be of value: Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving Their Religion, by Marlene Winell: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BD5ILAW?ref_=r_sa_glf_b_0_hdrw_ss_CAGQAAA

I haven't read it myself, but the Amazon reviews are very good.

 

 

 

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