skysoar15

The Mental Illness Of Christianity

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skysoar15    116

For about 3 months, I knew a good acquaintance. Let's call him Jack.

Jack suffers from PTSD, Bipolar Disorder, and paranoid schizophrenia.

 

He is essentially a ticking time-bomb.

Jack and I became good friends, with me offering him a place to stay due to his homelessness.

I did this in 'the name of Jesus' and before I realized what he suffered from.

 

He and I went to church together daily.

At first, it was great. 
He was a lonely soul and desperately hungered for friendship.

Knowing what that felt like, I gave it to him.

 

Living with him became a gradual nightmare.

How I put up with it as long as I did is a testament of how clueless I was...or how 'selfless' I thought I was. 

His constant mood-swings made him unpredictable and quite frightening.

When he became upset without his meds, he would scream at God viciously claiming to renounce his faith..only for him to return to it the next day.

 

Jack continually tried to be at peace. When he was calm, he was one of the sweetest people.

When provoked, he became one step above Lou Ferrigno from the 'Incredible Hulk.'

 

This affected all of his friendships, including he and I's. 
He got therapy on multiple occasions but he denied long term care.
I eventually did the right thing and asked him to leave.

 

But it's haunting. 

With all of this spiritual warfare crap going on...how the hell is a mentally unstable person supposed to decipher any of it?

What separates Jack's delusions from the delusions of any other person claiming Christ?

Is it just because they're mentally balanced enough to not snap at somebody?

 

Wrapping up, I met a girl at another church. Call her Alice.

She too struggled with mental illness, just in a more subtle way.

I listened to Alice open up and realized how Christianity could be so confusing to somebody who struggles with mental health issues.

 

She claimed to be considered crazy by her brother (who was practicing with the worship band, at the time).

At one point, Alice apparently walked the streets alone at night knocking on strangers' doors to preach the Gospel. She did this for two weeks. Homeless on purpose.

She said this not to show off, but with a blank stare. This girl wasn't kidding around.

 

Jack would also do weird stuff like this like carry a giant wooden cross on his back whenever he felt sinful. 

He did it to make himself feel better.

 

It made me wonder...do the commands of Jesus further the cause of mental illness?

 

Jesus commands us to: forsake our families, walk the town (homelessly) preaching the gospel while staying at strangers' places, fasting (not commanded, but expected), Warning people about Hell...etc.

 

Jack often claimed to be spiritually attacked. 

Where the Hell was God when this guy went through his hellhole of a life? 

To list all the atrocities he went through would be a nightmare. 

 

Anyone know a mentally ill person struggling with the concepts of Christianity?

I am referring to people who would be specifically diagnosed as mentally ill...not just people struggling with the delusion of Christianity.

But if you want to comment on those people too...I definitely understand. 

 

It enrages me to think that these two people (Jack & Alice) are being further poisoned by the doctrine of Christianity when they are already mentally ill to begin with.

This stuff is hard enough for a normal thinking person to understand...

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yunea    612

I was one. I got my diagnosis after deconversion. I'm basically DDNOS, sorta like DID without severe amnesia in the present. I have had many internal voices for as long as I can remember, sometimes they fight and are hostile to me or each other. They are also able to partially take me over (but I get to watch and remember).

 

I had shortish but very intense time as a Pentecostal when younger, and later I explored life with Jesus from a New Age perspective. I experienced so much "guidance" and "miracles" that I made some people jealous, others called me "encouraging".

 

I've recently read my diaries from the times I was Pente. I literally say, 

 

"These evil thoughts in my head are coming from satan. 

 

If they're not, I am...

very ill."

 

Later I deconverted, first because apparently I couldn't discern between Jesus and evil despite constant prayers that my will not be done but his, so I could not trust the guy with my life. That, or I really did miserably fail a test of faith where I could have died. Months later I realized I only had evidence of my imagination. Turns out I even had God & Jesus alters in my head and that's how I "knew" they were real and that Jesus was "taking me over" - it just was a slightly different Jesus than I thought. The ones I thought was satan were my trauma talking.

 

It's frustrating, I could have gotten help much earlier and turned my life in a more decent direction. I'm in therapy now but as long as I did not know what is going on, I kept on repeating old traumas and getting re-traumatized again and again, even in adulthood.

 

Even once I was atheist, I had a Christian alter. She deconverted last year (and posted here about it) but right now she hates her own guts and calls herself a murderer because of all the deep regrets she has about religion. :(

So I basically have to heal the wounds multiple times.

 

My mom, an untreated schizophrenic, is a case of her own....she has for example started incredible screaming fights over visions from "god" or whoever she believes in at the time.

 

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Insightful    196

Yunea- I just want to give you a "shout out".  For all that you have  (and still) struggle with mentally,  your posts are always incredibly lucid, thoughtful, compassionate,  and display a great degree of self-understanding.  You know who you are and what you stand for.  You should be very proud of what you are overcoming.

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knightcore    132

I was one too. I didn't deal with the same kind of issues as Yunea though. A lot of my stuff has been visual hallucinations of demons or figures I couldn't discern. My OCD also has made me fixate on peoples "auras" in the past, feeling like i had some kind of spiritual superpower of being able to sense evil. Much more than just getting a bad vibe from someone. This was encouraged by a lot of people as it was seen as a blessing from god. My OCD also has caused fixations on prayer and feeling like if I didn't pray a certain way or a certain amount of times something bad would happen, or that if I thought sinful thoughts on a plane it would crash. Things like that. I think spirituality really takes a hold of people who are mentally ill because it's so... solid seeming. Like there's such a monolith of people who believe in it and mistake your symptoms for something holy and support you. It's really hard to back away from any kind of support, but something as big and grand as Christianity? Almost impossible if you're mentally ill. Not without outside help or something that causes you to turn against god. Which is a terrifying thing in itself but sometimes anger overrides that.

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yunea    612

Thanks @Insightful - that's a surprising compliment, because I keep thinking I'm such a mess. I'm considering letting my alter speak here again, too. I'll try if she is able to put her problem into words. 

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florduh    4,221

The religion, in the prevalent American iterations at least, preys on the damaged, weak and vulnerable. It is a big part of their game plan. For this reason it seems that a disproportionate number of people with mental illness are ensnared. I saw it at my own church as well as in other congregations. In addition, many churches grow mental illness within their congregations as if it were fruits of the spirit. I see a vicious circle here.

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Tsathoggua9    98

I have met several mentally-ill religious fanatics, The Vanderbilt area of Nashville is rife with these fellows, sometimes. So if you walk off to lunch as I do, you are likely to encounter them.  One guy would sit at Subway scribbling out his next sermon, while conversing with his invisible congregants. Quite a show! Haven't seen him in a while, though.....

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Lost    33

In my small church where I live come people who are very emotionally hurt. Some of them were thinking about suicide, including me (but not really serious).

 

Probably there is no surprise that so many people, especially mentally and emotionally hurt come to church to seek freedom from their daily inner battles...they experienced regection from society, close ones, therapists, medication and they desire to lead normal life.

 

Unfortunately, usually these people when they become Christians throw away medications or minimalize dosage, they talk about how devil attacks them and they need to completely trust Jesus, brothers and sisters pray for their healing, but they still have obsessive, depressive thoughts.

Maybe, there are people who truly, completely experienced change, I don't know.

 

On 21.04.2017 at 5:18 AM, skysoar15 said:

Jack and I became good friends, with me offering him a place to stay due to his homelessness.

I did this in 'the name of Jesus' and before I realized what he suff

 

I also have lots of heart for homeless people and... for mentally ill people, emotionally hurt and for orphans. I wish I could help them all, even without spiritual intervention. But I am a lazy ass.

 

I don't really like how society usually only sees physically ill people.

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