Somewhat of a break through

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

       My wife and I were talking in the car the other day, it was in reference to someone else being pushed into going to church. But she said that she liked the way we were concerning religion. That she still believes but she doesn't want to change me and I don't want to change her. She did follow that up with she felt like we needed to take the kids to church because our two younger one have asked to go. I let her know she is more than welcome if she wants, but I'm not going to promote it. It is like the Santa clause thing. I don't want to teach my kids lies. I referenced some of the points from the Bart Ehrman book I've been reading along with the archeological studies I found. But like I said I know she is a believer so if she wants to that's her prerogative. 

     After talking for a few minutes about it she actually admitted the possibility by saying that, "if that's all true then its a huge disappointment", because her grandfather lived the Christian life his whole life for nothing. To which I replied, "Now you know how i felt when i first started seeing this. It felt horrible like i had lost everything. But to him it wasn't for nothing, it was what he believed and he was a very good man. There is nothing wrong with that. He died a happy, faith filled man."

     We kind of left it at that, but for her to admit the possibility of the bible being anything other than the infallible word of God is a big step. I think the gears are turning. I'm not pushing but when the subject comes up I throw a couple more things I've learned in the mix. 

 

Just thought I would share that.

 

Best regards,

            Dark Bishop

[L.B.]

My wife still believes that the Bible is true and that its main character is 'the one true god'.

 

She has, however, started backpedaling - when I say I no longer believe XYZ doctrines that evangelical churches teach, she either says they are teaching wrong things, or just that she wouldn't insist that I believe those things.

 

There was a time when she would have scoffed at anyone rejecting the things her church of choice was teaching.

 

It all comes down to what she believes because she 'feels' the 'truth' in her heart when she reads, prays, etc.

 

Good luck - I admit that I struggle mightily with wanting to snap her out of her delusions, especially because she is committed to keeping our children in that crap.

[TABA]

Thanks for sharing this, DB!  It's good to see the respect that you and your wife have for each other.  That's one of the foundations that can help even an unequally-yoked marriage to thrive.  I am thankful that my wife and I have a similar foundation that does not depend on faith.

 

I really like your comments about her grandfather.  Although you have only been here a short time, I'm going to stick my neck out and say you are a good man, DarkBishop.  You were a good man with Christian faith and now you're a good man without it.  Funny how that works, isn't it...

 

 

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

3 hours ago, ThereAndBackAgain said:

Thanks for sharing this, DB!  It's good to see the respect that you and your wife have for each other.  That's one of the foundations that can help even an unequally-yoked marriage to thrive.  I am thankful that my wife and I have a similar foundation that does not depend on faith.

 

I really like your comments about her grandfather.  Although you have only been here a short time, I'm going to stick my neck out and say you are a good man, DarkBishop.  You were a good man with Christian faith and now you're a good man without it.  Funny how that works, isn't it...

 

 

 

Thank you There n back again,

       That means a lot to me ?, I certainly try to be a good husband and father to my kids. I will admit at times I have my short comings. When I was christian I would have said I'm not "perfect" lol. All n all I do have to credit Christianity for a huge change (for the better) in my personality. So it wasn't all a waste of time. I learned a lot of good lessons, I was able to tame a bad temper, and I met a lot of good people that I respect even now.

     Her grandfather was one of them. As a christian, I felt he lived closer to "God" than anyone I knew. He was gentle, kind, loving, caring, selfless, and would always treat everyone he came in contact with, with respect. Men of that caliber are few and far between. Even though I no longer believe in his God, I feel lucky for having known him. 

 

DB

[LogicalFallacy]

Hi DB

 

It sound's like you are handling your personal situation in a positive constructive manner which is awesome.

 

I agree re your grandfather - it's kind of like the Christians question "if there is no God what is the purpose of life? Life itself! So even if Christianity was false, if your grandfather believed it and was not disappointed he lived a full life and stayed true to his belief.

 

@ThereAndBackAgain- your second paragraph reminds me of something Christopher Hitchens used to say: Good people will be good, bad people will be bad, but if you want to make a good person do bad things you need religion.

 

So for us here (I would hope) we were good people as Christians, and we are still good people, even better, as Ex Christians!

 

But if you have a person who is bad as a Christian, its likely they could be bad as an ex Christian.

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

1 hour ago, LogicalFallacy said:

 

@ThereAndBackAgain- your second paragraph reminds me of something Christopher Hitchens used to say: Good people will be good, bad people will be bad, but if you want to make a good person do bad things you need religion.

 

So for us here (I would hope) we were good people as Christians, and we are still good people, even better, as Ex Christians!

 

But if you have a person who is bad as a Christian, its likely they could be bad as an ex Christian.

This is true. so far most the people here seem to be good people. It doesn't take the bible to be "good". maybe it is even a more impressive achievement to be "good" in the absence of god and the fear of hell. Then it is the person that makes themselves good rather than the religion they follow.

 

DB