Diddlyboop

Sometimes it feels inescapable.

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It's been a while since I've posted here. I've been lurking and all, and I still can't thank you enough for your insight and letting me know that no matter how hard it gets, I'm not alone. Things have gotten a little better.

 

That being said, I feel doomed because it's everywhere I look. I admit to overreacting over the little things but I can't help it. Christianity and its apologetics are everywhere and they always send me into a panic no matter how hard I've researched or what I've seen. I know it's not true, I know I'm not going to burn, but the past of fire and brimstone nags on in my head and sometimes I feel like I'll never be able to fully recover. 

 

I unfollowed a lot of Christian friends on Facebook. Love them, but the posts about Gawd were freaking me out. A friend I haven't yet unfollowed posted some conversion video that got me freaking, so I went to GodlessPanther's "Christianity is Creepy" to make myself feel better since he discusses lots of those things in the series. 

 

Checked the comments of the first one and was about to feel better until some apologist was spouting off about how deconversion stories usually involve biblical illiteracy or over-simplified bible comprehension and I nearly lost all the rationality that had been flowing in. They're everywhere! It's inescapable! No matter where I look, someone is spouting about how bad I am and others are and how we need Jesus back in our lives, and I feel like I'm trapped. Even though I'm never going back to my old faith, I feel like I'm also never going to stop being scared. 

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It's the result of brainwashing by a cult. Time usually works it out but sometimes professional help is needed. If you really suffer from residual Hell bullshit, don't be ashamed to get help.

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Glad you are still here with us Diddlyboop. It 'feels' like it is inescapable because it is. Religions of all kinds (including christianity) and beliefs in gods are everywhere. Religion is going to be around for a long time yet hun. The only thing that worked for me was to accept that fact and stay away from anything that triggered me. Keep doing what you are doing. Keep researching and reading and watching documentaries... and scroll right past all those religious posts. Don't look for a second. Always remember....just because so many people believe something, that doesn't make it true. I made a major mistake last week and listened to one of my old favorite gospel songs and before I knew it, I was crying and wanting to be a believer like the rest of my family and friends. And I have been deconverting for quite a long time but it can still overtake me sometimes. So we always have to be careful. I hope you stick around for awhile. Someones' always here for you.

 

Big (hug)

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I've never been as deeply involved in religion as most people on here (and, coming from a secular family and living in a secular society I never had to deal with the social pressure either) but I did feel like I was irrevocably broken for quite some time when I first joined this place. It really does get better with time though, so hang in there. It's a process that can take months and even years, but you'll get there eventually.

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I'm 40 now and remembering back to when I was a kid, before we had the internet, Christianity was the only choice.  There were surveys done which listed the various Christian denominations but lumped atheists into the general 'Other' category.  I find it really positive to look at just how far we've come in such a short period of time.  The availability of information is a major part of this.  We can now see Dawkins, Harris, Dillihunty and Ra giving speeches around the world in real time, but we also have this massive library of atheist works available to everyone.  You can now openly say you are an atheist and chances are in any group there will be many others who agree with your viewpoint.

It is quite possible that atheists are actually the single largest group in the religious spectrum.  Surveys show 20-25% of Christians attend church for fellowship, family, or peer pressure but actually don't believe in god.  If ~25% of the US is irreligious and ~25% are lying about being religious, and a further group belong to religions with no gods (scientology, buddhism, jainism etc) then who knows what the total number actually is?  Seems more likely that we are seeing a major breakthrough with religion on the retreat in all areas.  This makes sense when you compare the main proponents of both sides. When you compare Nye, Dawkins, Harris, Ra and Hitchins to Ham, Hovind and Comfort, it is fairly easy to see which side has the intellect, evidence, research and science.

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They're everywhere! It's inescapable! No matter where I look, someone is spouting about how bad I am and others are and how we need Jesus back in our lives, and I feel like I'm trapped. Even though I'm never going back to my old faith, I feel like I'm also never going to stop being scared. 

 

 

Diddlyboop, I'm sorry you're having a hard time.  I have to say though that my experience is not that "it's everywhere".  Why is that?  Because I'm evidently not hanging out in the same circles you are.  When I reached the point, as you have, where I realized I was no longer a Christian, I knew that I could not keep 're-litigating' the issue by re-reading the same old apologetics arguments that I had already rejected.  Instead I read some of the great atheist writers, began spending a lot of time in these forums, absorbing the wisdom and knowledge of the more advanced ex-Christians here.  Now I am at the point that when I do see Christian propaganda, I either laugh or just shrug my soldiers, much as I would do if I were reading Muslim propaganda.  So you really have to not click on those videos, and do unfollow those who insist on sharing them.  As well as being active here at ex-Christian.net, it would be good if you could find some atheist/agnostic/humanist groups via Meetup or similar.  We all need a 'tribe' to belong to in a sense, and your tribe should not include evangelical Christians.  Even hanging out with people who at not necessarily irreligious as we are, but just not openly Christian, would do you good, I think.  And be sure to take time away from the whole subject by losing yourself regularly in something you enjoy.  That's very important for all of us.

 

Good luck!

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