It All Comes Down to Trust

[ag_NO_stic]

I'm kinda pissed off right now. I've just been thinking, watching the YouTube, reflecting on the past. It kinda hit me how I would have totally called the religion I was fed for so long was bullshit if it had been my dork cousin who'd told me. However, because I trusted my parents and my aunts/uncles, my church folks, I truly accepted and believed everyone around me who instilled that fear.....it overrode the instinct to find it ridiculous. Does that piss off anyone else? 

[florduh]

For most people it was a trusted source that led them into the cult. Children are especially vulnerable, but it can happen to adults as well.

 

Trust no one!!!!! 

[Lucy]

My dad was a preacher. Men in his family were preachers. We had church people coming to our house all the time. Lots of Bible debates from people who actually read the Bible had wanted to share their opinions on verse meanings. It was always about why god put some passage in there and how should we interpret it and apply it to modern life. No one ever debated whether any of it was true or not. I don't recall one person ever talking about struggling with their belief. It was the most true thing in the world. In fact, it was the only thing you could actually rely on to be true. Everything else is questionable.

 

What a wonderful worldview to construct, only to shatter it later.... Disturbing to say the least.

[ag_NO_stic]

 

My dad was a preacher. Men in his family were preachers. We had church people coming to our house all the time. Lots of Bible debates from people who actually read the Bible had wanted to share their opinions on verse meanings. It was always about why god put some passage in there and how should we interpret it and apply it to modern life. No one ever debated whether any of it was true or not. I don't recall one person ever talking about struggling with their belief. It was the most true thing in the world. In fact, it was the only thing you could actually rely on to be true. Everything else is questionable.

 

I know what you mean. Christianity was the lens through which I examined everything else in life to determine if it was true. Even now, I know how my parents view my faith stuff, considering they think Satan has got a hold of me.

[skysoar15]

I was in a college evangelical group. Some close people won me by being the first true friends I ever had. 

Back then, I was quietly desperate for friendship. I never whined about it or made a big deal about it, but I grew tired of having just acquaintances.

 

When I saw the faith of the kind people who befriended me, I wanted in. I became convinced that the only way to live a "bullshit" free life was through Christianity.

Eventually time not only killed a good deal of my friendships but my faith as well.

Scary part? My campus has one of THE biggest college evangelical groups in the States. Countless college students go through it and a good chunk become Christian leaders. It's cult like and scary. 

I started making peace with the doubts that I had. 

The first step I made was to stop being influenced by the college group. I couldn't let my desire for friendship outweigh by desire to be freed from that cult-like environment.

It has been extremely hard. 

 

Soon, I realized that I wasn't being kind out of my heart, but because "God" told me so. So many of these college students were the same way. 

These are students giving up their dreams to "live out the gospel," because supposedly they found something better.

All I see now are brainwashed people more or less my age being convinced by powerful speakers, repetitive music, and an almost nihilistic mindset of "nothing matters here, live for God alone."

 

I'm really glad I never found a spouse there. I'd never leave. A good chunk of students there find their wives/husbands and live their lives as missionaries. 

Fuck that. 

[♦ Fuego ♦]

Skysoar15, that was the 2nd motivation for me. I first believed out of fear of monsters (I was 11 and saw an advert for the Exorcist, on top of years of monster movies, the only way to beat a demon was Jesus, so...), but then in High School I went to a Nazarene church down the street and began attending after thinking I needed to be baptized. Nicely dressed folks welcoming me and including a long-haired teen that was roundly ignored or bullied at school. I fit in with the college crowd because they were serious about Jesus, as I was. Some of the college crowd were pretty women, so getting hugs from them was a 180 from my lonely school days. I wasn't attractive at all, but they liked how I was "going for it" with Jesus. So they really helped me come out of my shell and begin doing things socially. I learned to shelve difficult questions in favor of keeping my perceived relationship with Jesus, and undoubtedly my new friends played into my emotional decisions.

 

So I wasn't led into belief by those I trusted, but as those relationships grew, they were as deceived as I was about the faith so I can't lay blame. But that trust thing was used on several of them coming out of AA or OA and trusting a sponsor to help them beat their addiction led them into Christianity, and then to trust despite legitimate questions that couldn't be answered. And then to ignore those questions in favor of staying in the love of our imaginary friend and each other.

[ag_NO_stic]

My heart breaks hearing these stories. I was born and raised Christian myself, but my friendships definitely helped keep me locked in because my parents controlled that. It didn't help that the few I did know who questioned also "ended up in sin." So a girl I knew who got pregnant young saw how people from church treated her and quickly saw through the bullshit. But I didn't see her as credible, she was a rebellious and dirty sinner. A weed-smoker friend of mine who stopped believing wasn't credible to me because of "wanting to follow the fleshly desires of his heart." I didn't feel like I ever met anyone who could convince me that hell was worth facing and standing up to because  of the way they lived. I couldn't grasp that life isn't about sin or not sin, it was people making choices and living through the consequences. I'm so hurt about this, guys, I feel so robbed of a legitimate education about life, people, morality, and reality.

[skysoar15]

Church folks can be some of the friendliest people in the world. Not joking. The warmth I've been shown by churchgoers has been insane. Yet, I also hear about how people suffered from church as well. This and a million other factors caused me to stop trusting religion in general. I started being sickened by my church environment and wondering why God would allow this area to prosper but allow other churches to cause abuse/suffering. The bad things I saw overtook the good things.

One of my pet peeves is praising God for good fortune. My mom does this regularly.

I can't bring myself to praise God for being fortunate when millions of people are legitimately suffering for no real reason. 

 

It just sucks. 
I have spent the last several weeks angry at everyone from church. Most of them I still refuse to be around. I am gradually learning to accept that they're under a huge delusion. Nobody meant to hurt me when they introduced me to Christianity. They did it with a sincere belief in my salvation. For that, my position has softened considerably. That doesn't make it easier to be around them, but it makes me less antagonistic. 

 

I understand where you're coming from. 

If it makes you feel better, millions of people have fallen into the same trap. You are the one brave enough to risk leaving in spite of the social consequences. Many people just stay trapped without realizing it. You're not alone in feeling pissed. Trust me.