Burnedout

New Game: You Might be an Ex-Christian if.....

61 posts in this topic

You might be an ex-Christian if you pity people who believe the bible is literally true & historically accurate.  You might be an ex-Christian if you avoid Xian fundamentalists & actually laugh at them when they say the Bible must be read & interpreted literally.

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You might be an ex-Christian if you believe the people who built a replica of Noah's Ark in Ky are not charging the Xian suckers enough money to go through it. I think that proves a new sucker is indeed born every minute. 

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You might be an ex- Christian if the only reason you go to church is the hope that some poor sinner is going to confess their sins in public to the entire congregation to please God & receive forgiveness & to give the rumor mills new fodder. 

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You might be an ex-Christian if the only reason you go to church is to pass the offering plate so you can look down the ladies blouses and/or check out how short their skirts are. Never mind, you don't have to be an ex-Christian to do that, it's actually considered a perk & the reason so many guys volunteer to pass the offering plate.

 

Through the years I was blessed to see some really fine boobs. A belated thank you to all you truly wonderful well endowed ladies. 

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If you laugh hysterically at how christians are portrayed in movies/tv, when you used to be offended, because you "get it" now, you might be an ex-christian.

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If you're in the grocery store and the only thing in your shopping cart is wine and beer, and you no longer worry about who you might run into. . . you might be an Ex-Christian!

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If you simply cannot tolerate bullshit anymore, no matter where it is coming from.

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If you recognize motivational speakers as pastors of a whole different kind of religion but with the same goal in mind - to fleece the masses.

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If you have a deep seated suspicion of well-dressed, highly coiffed men who are overly friendly.

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....If you ever had the intense desire to go and rent all the popular movies from back in your Christian days, but didn't see when the first came out, because your pastor said they were SINFUL.....YOU MIGHT BE AN EX-CHRISTIAN!

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You might be a an Ex Christian if you've encouraged church people to talk mad shit about each other because you're tired of hearing "well I shouldn't gossip, it's not godly".

 

(Everyone likes to gossip like... church ladies need to get over themselves they talk so much shit about everyone and anyone)

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