Hello

[Figures]

Hello, I am Figures. 

 

I am decidedly indecisive (oxymoron), and much of my current life feels like I'm making oxymorons out of life choices. If  that makes sense, than perhaps you can sympathize, or maybe even empathize with my plight, and recognize something within my struggles as running a parallel path to your own. 

 

I feel happily sad that I am breaking free. Because I am free, but at a cost

 

I'm a peacefully mired in the confusion. Becoming grounded in who I am and what I think, while my world around me falls apart. 

 

I am hopefully despondent.

Believing that there is a better way, in fact knowing that I am learning it, simultaneously discovering that for those around me it will most likely not be the same. 

 

I am Figures, and through both speech, and action, thought, and discovery, I hope to find some semblance of objectivity to base my logic upon, and ultimately help others to do the same. 

 

I am tenatively excited as well.

 

My purposeful intent, will not be dismayed by fear, or by feeling, but rather be endorsed by a sound mind, built by reason and logic. 

 

I look forward to growing with you all,

 

With hope,

 

Figures

[Geezer]

Welcome Figures. Most of us here understand the concerns you've expressed because we have experienced them too. The journey out of religion is usually long & difficult, but it will eventually end. Most of us will be glad we stuck with it & endured the trials that were part of our journey because they made us stronger & wiser. 

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

Welcome figures! Your introduction is very poetic. I like it. It resonates with me as well. Like Geezer said. Most of us understand what you are going through and exactly what you are describing. Good luck with your deconversion.

 

DB

[Figures]

Merci beaucoup,

 

Mon amis 

 

[Ablemate]

Hello and welcome.

 

If you are in need of any assistance or support please ask and ye shall receive.

[Ataraxia]

 

I'm a peacefully mired in the confusion. Becoming grounded in who I am and what I think, while my world around me falls apart. 

 

 

Welcome, Figures! That was a beautiful introduction, especially the idea of your self becoming more concrete while everything else is destroyed. I am new to this site and my own deconversion as well and completely understand this notion. Though I am building up the concept of myself each day, the beliefs I once held onto are being destroyed at the same time. But this just means I can live for myself now, not for the borrowed ideas of an antiquated culture. Glad you found the site and hope to see you around!

[Guest]

Figures, you have a gift, that was very well written. The oxymorons, they are familiar to us all. This is a journey, welcome to join us on the ride!

[LogicalFallacy]

Welcome Figures

 

I echo others praise of your poetic prose - a beautiful way to put your thoughts.

 

I also understand much of the sentiment expressed. This line is particularly powerful for me as it resonates with my personal experience with de-conversion

 

"I feel happily sad that I am breaking free. Because I am free, but at a cost "

 

The vast majority of people would have no idea what you mean, but here at Ex-C we do.

 

Hope you can find comfort and answers here

 

LF

[ag_NO_stic]

 

Hello, I am Figures. 

 

I am decidedly indecisive (oxymoron), and much of my current life feels like I'm making oxymorons out of life choices. If  that makes sense, than perhaps you can sympathize, or maybe even empathize with my plight, and recognize something within my struggles as running a parallel path to your own. 

 

I feel happily sad that I am breaking free. Because I am free, but at a cost

 

I'm a peacefully mired in the confusion. Becoming grounded in who I am and what I think, while my world around me falls apart. 

 

I am hopefully despondent.

Believing that there is a better way, in fact knowing that I am learning it, simultaneously discovering that for those around me it will most likely not be the same. 

 

I am Figures, and through both speech, and action, thought, and discovery, I hope to find some semblance of objectivity to base my logic upon, and ultimately help others to do the same. 

 

I am tenatively excited as well.

 

My purposeful intent, will not be dismayed by fear, or by feeling, but rather be endorsed by a sound mind, built by reason and logic. 

 

I look forward to growing with you all,

 

With hope,

 

Figures

 

You are not alone, I am the same way. Literally, I completely understand. I'm depressed and manically happy (not as in bipolar), I am hopeful about the future and also find it pointless....I am scared and dejected about "having no purpose" and simultaneously freed by it. It's exhilarating and yet terrifying. I could go on, but I think you already know! Welcome aboard, Figures, I look forward to your posts.

[Figures]

Thanks, to you all. I am encouraged by the honest struggle. There is life, I find, in the discovery of ourselves and of the world. 

 

Once, I felt as though I lived on the cusp of a revival. At that very moment, resting firm, upon the first glimmer of a glorious dawn. The promise of a universal Christ-like awakening. 

 

Now, I feel as though I walk the rings along the edge of the known universe (think saturn). A narrow bridge precariously perched on the event horizon. With the light behind me, propelling me forward, over the edge... into eternity. 

 

That is my freedom.

 

I also understand much of the sentiment expressed. This line is particularly powerful for me as it resonates with my personal experience with de-conversion

 

"I feel happily sad that I am breaking free. Because I am free, but at a cost "

 

The vast majority of people would have no idea what you mean, but here at Ex-C we do.

Truly, it is /OUR/ freedom. To enter the darkness of the unknown, and choose a path, to forage and forge, a future from the void. 

 

I'm depressed and manically happy (not in bipolar), I am hopeful about the future and also find it pointless....I am scared and dejected about "having no purpose" and simultaneously freed by it. It's exhilarating and yet terrifying. I could go on...

Indeed, and perhaps /our/ purpose as well? To discover,  and than make those choices which would impart meaning to our seemingly pointless existence. 

 

I think it a telling factor of our reality, that more often than not we find purpose in freedom. This is actually a vice of Christianity upon culture, which convoluted the idea of freedom for the oppressed, and/or, intellectually underdeveloped. For example: the drug addicted.  Those in drug addiction desire freedom from their addictions. To do so, many feel they need something outside of themselves to get freedom, because they themselves, got themselves, into this addiction. In steps Christianity. Promising freedom, by becoming a bondsman. Power, by self induced slavery to an ideologue. Wisdom, by doing that which the 'world' would deem 'foolish'. In the literal sense, much like going to a hypnotist for a type of mental and psychological medication, they willingly brainwash themselves with the help of others to get freedom from their drug addiction. However, now we see Christianitys vice upon itself, and a reason I'm sure many of us left... None of their promises come true! (by this i mean it's a crock of fairie poo and woo-woo)! They cannot fully eradicate this drug addicts problems. In fact, beneath their still only surface level of brainwashing, our hypothetical dug addict discovers that there exists a behemoth. Of infinitely damning proportions it schemes, and which; if not combated by more layers (new neural pathways being entrenched deeper, criss-crossing over the old "druggie lifestyle" pathways, still in fact, using some of them, to further aid in the drug addicteds new self induced slavery and confusion.) of brainwashing,  will consume and destroy the addict all over again. Thus, they indoctrinate, and self medicate, never becoming free, just exchanging an old addiction for a new one, but never fully escaping from their old addiction either. BUT, don't worry, they'll be free once they die, and will be happy in heaven. All is well.

 

I could talk about the childhood indoctrination as well, which truly disgust me, but I will save that for another post as I have rambled enough. 

 

All in all, I am truly happy, and thankful for you all. You are an encouragement, and an insight. I hope to serve you all in the same way!:)

 

-figures

[ag_NO_stic]

 

Thanks, to you all. I am encouraged by the honest struggle. There is life, I find, in the discovery of ourselves and of the world. 

 

Once, I felt as though I lived on the cusp of a revival. At that very moment, resting firm, upon the first glimmer of a glorious dawn. The promise of a universal Christ-like awakening. 

 

Now, I feel as though I walk the rings along the edge of the known universe (think saturn). A narrow bridge precariously perched on the event horizon. With the light behind me, propelling me forward, over the edge... into eternity. 

 

That is my freedom.

Truly, it is /OUR/ freedom. To enter the darkness of the unknown, and choose a path, to forage and forge, a future from the void. 

Indeed, and perhaps /our/ purpose as well? To discover,  and than make those choices which would impart meaning to our seemingly pointless existence. 

 

I think it a telling factor of our reality, that more often than not we find purpose in freedom. This is actually a vice of Christianity upon culture, which convoluted the idea of freedom for the oppressed, and/or, intellectually underdeveloped. For example: the drug addicted.  Those in drug addiction desire freedom from their addictions. To do so, many feel they need something outside of themselves to get freedom, because they themselves, got themselves, into this addiction. In steps Christianity. Promising freedom, by becoming a bondsman. Power, by self induced slavery to an ideologue. Wisdom, by doing that which the 'world' would deem 'foolish'. In the literal sense, much like going to a hypnotist for a type of mental and psychological medication, they willingly brainwash themselves with the help of others to get freedom from their drug addiction. However, now we see Christianitys vice upon itself, and a reason I'm sure many of us left... None of their promises come true! (by this i mean it's a crock of fairie poo and woo-woo)! They cannot fully eradicate this drug addicts problems. In fact, beneath their still only surface level of brainwashing, our hypothetical dug addict discovers that there exists a behemoth. Of infinitely damning proportions it schemes, and which; if not combated by more layers (new neural pathways being entrenched deeper, criss-crossing over the old "druggie lifestyle" pathways, still in fact, using some of them, to further aid in the drug addicteds new self induced slavery and confusion.) of brainwashing,  will consume and destroy the addict all over again. Thus, they indoctrinate, and self medicate, never becoming free, just exchanging an old addiction for a new one, but never fully escaping from their old addiction either. BUT, don't worry, they'll be free once they die, and will be happy in heaven. All is well.

 

I could talk about the childhood indoctrination as well, which truly disgust me, but I will save that for another post as I have rambled enough. 

 

All in all, I am truly happy, and thankful for you all. You are an encouragement, and an insight. I hope to serve you all in the same way!:)

 

-figures

 

And boom goes the dynamite. You're awesome and this is going to be great.

[Margee]

Welcome  to ex-c Figures. Thanks  for sharing.  Looking very forward to hearing more  from you!

[Figures]

Thanks, I'll see you around Margee

[DarkFlash]

From your name to an introduction like this clearly defines your potential alone. Welcome to Ex-C and we hope for the stay alongside us all.