Death for me over the years has rarely been difficult to process and move on. I've buried quite a few, only mourned a couple. The two I mourn are now memories I guard so earnestly a mother bear could not rival my ferocity. These two people immediately bring on the wet eyes and short tight breaths when I just so much as think on their lives, their influence, and my loss.
This past January I experienced a third loss of someone very important in my life. It's hit me very hard, and I am surprise
We have all been there and done it. Sitting on a couch, consoling a friend over a terrible mistake that has been made, and used our own personal flaws as a buffer before giving advice on what to do about the mess at hand. This is self deprecation, and while a very useful tool while navigating social situations, there is a fine line between using it as a tool, and using it as a facetious psychological mind fuck.
Usually, self deprecation is a general statement of flaws, like,"Well, Judy. I've
When I was a Christian, I read the book ''A Grief Observed,'' by C.S. Lewis. C.S. Lewis was once a self-proclaimed atheist, but as his life took many turns, he was drawn to Christianity. He is often quoted by many Christians, as being a poignant voice for them. Frankly, he still is one of my favorite authors. He has a way with words that is not only convicting, but also comforting.
In ''A Grief Observed,'' C.S. Lewis talks about loss, pain, suffering, and the process of grieving.
Video below: (NSFW, some strong language)
I remember when I first heard this song; I was at a trendy pub with a few friends. We were unwinding from a stressful work week, having a few drinks together. This song has a catchy beat, and we were dancing at the bar, ‘’hip hopping’’ to the lyrics. I happen to like the genre ‘hip hop,’ but over the past decade, might it be a fair assessment to say that it’s digressed into little more than vulgar, sexist messages aimed mainly at women?
Earlier today, I was having an argument with a friend of mine in my brain. Since I haven't come out with my Deconversion to anyone but you all on this site, I can only have conversations with people in my head. Crazy, right?
Well anyway, I am going to be meeting a friend of mine for lunch in the next couple weeks and I am seriously considering telling him I have left the cult. In my "conversation" with him in my head, I got to thinking about how anyone knows who God is or what he is. And I t
So I started my workout today, it's official. I got some basic gym workout stuff the other day and put it all in what is now I guess you can call my "workout room". Here's a glimpse:
I have somewhat improvised with some of the things in there. For example, the table there is used as a stand for my lappy so I can listen to tunes and check up on things if needed (It's surprisingly easy for me to forget the order of the workouts I'm doing), the mirror I use to double check my form - especi
So, I haven't exactly been making strides, I am finding that I am drinking soda every now and again but it is still less than what I use to drink before. Some days I don't drink at all, other days I'll have it with a meal. I kinda went all out a couple days ago when I had a pretty rough day, I guess for me food is my own form of self abuse.
Anyways, the cardio pretty much went nowhere. I have barely touched the elliptical so I decided to start doing what I actually enjoy which is lifting wei
This is part 2 of my series "Why I Left Child-Like Faith Behind". Read Part 1 HERE first if you haven't already.
When we returned home, there was emptiness. The room felt empty, even though little Nikki was still there. Grandma B wasn't and I missed her terribly. I cried myself to sleep most nights. I developed an aversion to beds. The spot where my grandma had fallen in front of the door became my sleeping area. I took a giant beach towel a
We've all been there at some point. You log onto your favorite social media website like Facebook, and as you scroll through the many status updates in your news feed with highlights about your Aunt Martha's cat, or your friend's son that lost a tooth, you see this:
If you are irreligious like myself, all you see is this:
Why do people do this? Where is this urge to shout from the digital rooftops about God's touching one's soul coming from? And ev
This entry is going to kick off a series of entries over the next 2ish weeks. In the process of making some changes in my life, not sure where they are headed.
When I left my faith last time, it was due to a lack of evidence. I think that is the case for many of us here at Ex-C. Nothing special about me. Now, I find myself reconsidering faith. It is a startling notion for me to even entertain the idea of believing again. Faith violates logic and mocks rea
I will be attending a session, talk, transmission, or whatever you want to call it, by my Tibetan teacher this weekend. It is on the preliminary practice of Tibetan Buddhism according to the Nyigma Dudjom Tersar Ngondro practice, and more specifically, guru yoga.
I know he is going to give a transmission of the section. This is an authorization to do the practice. It is a tenant of Tibetan Buddhism that you cannot really effectively do this particular practice unless you have a transmission or
So I posted a rant the other day in the forums, but I figure they probably belong more so on my blog. Just now I was reading this blog where a person was countering the racist statements of somebody else (basically that all blacks are criminals) and gave the explanation for high crime rates wasn't race but education and poverty levels and gave a european country as an example stating that in this country where there are high levels of the above, there is also high levels of crime despite being a
I find myself increasingly frustrated by the sentiment that living in Europe makes 'coming out' as an atheist easy, that I should consider myself lucky to be in a country that is so accepting of the atheistic position.
While I would agree that, in comparison to the United States, Christianity is not so all prevailing here. It is more acceptable to be an atheist, but that does not mean there are not communities here that are as fundamentalist and imposing as those in the US. I find myself sur
An illustration by Joas Adiprasetya
In a voyage, a man fell into the sea. Unfortunately, that poor man cannot swim so he yell for help. Luckily, some people in the ship are willing to help him. However, each of those persons has a different background:
The first person is a moralist. He take a book "how to swim" and throw it near that drowning person. Then he yell: read that book and follow the guidance, you will survive!
The second person is an idealist. He believes in the motto "Give
I have been struggling with a lot of things lately.
My mother's declining health
My drinking problem
My health problems
My oldest sister's morbid depression and committal to an institution
My grandmother moving to another state to live with relatives that I don't trust
Extra shifts and responsibility at work
The loss of two longtime important friendships back to back last month
Issues with my girlfriend who is currently living 2ish hours away while attending a master's p
During my deconversion process, I had given up the idea that the Bible was without error. There was contradictions, not just within the text itself, but within the content, as well. Claiming the Bible was inerrant, became increasingly difficult for me to accept. I came to the decision that God did not pass along a perfect document, but maybe there was still truth that you can get from it. The Bible seemed more like it was a collection of various thoughts and interactions with God. And, if that w
In one of more more serious attempts, I went and saw a dietician who gave me some good advice on what to eat and drink. Nothing that can't be found online of course, but I think hearing it from someone whose job it is to know about these things is reassuring no doubt. The main thing thing I took away from our conversations was the amount of energy you take in matters more than the type of energy you take in.
To expand upon this, I'm sure most of us know about the documentary where a man liv
So, I decided last night to get back on track to losing weight. I was feeling really defeated and wasn't really in the state of mind to go forward with confidence but after reading some weight loss success stories I have boosted my mood and today I began my first set of changes, albeit minor ones. They are simply this, every day use the elliptical for 15mins and to cut soda out of my diet completely. This includes juice, cordial or any other sweet beverage in place of water. It's in essence a wa
I suppose I am writing to say that I have come back into Buddhist practice and I think the impetus was a couple of dreams that I cannot simply ignore.
I feel I do have established some kind of connection with Buddhism that I will keep with me until I die. Therefore, although I may continue to have problems, I feel more confident that I will be able to resolve them. Most likely my tendency to find fault and to analyze things to death is a problem when it comes to spiritual practice. I think
So I slowly find out about a crush that a severely emotionally troubled man might have on me. This is a man I mean, in regular life I mean not on the internet. And I have absolutely no problem with "emotionally troubled" individuals because I know myself to be the most emotionally troubled person I've ever met. But the difference between me and this guy (I'm going to call him, for a nickname, Trouble), the difference is that I know myself to have serious problems and I know my limitations and
Dull! Bland! Meaningless! Unbiblical! Predictable! Boring! Not inspirational! Empty! Shallow! Soulless!
These are the list of what I feel about the modern Christian songs
Where are the good old hymns that we used to sing?
For more than a year I have to sing or hear these so called “modern” Christian songs. The recipe for this sort of thing was always very simple: take any pop style song, put Jesus name or other Christian words in it, and sing it repeatedly for million times.
The results a
Hi, welcome to my blog, Yggdrasil
This blog is dedicated for spiritual and religion matters
I am raised in liberal protestant environment. Even though my school is a christian school (own by my church), they are very open to science (yes including evolution). I think that's because my church believe that Christian's faith is about compassion and love rather than doctrines and dogmas.
But everything changed when the fire nation attacked, eh, I mean when I moved to north america
Why does anything exist? I remember asking that question at a very young age. Of course, I was given the answer that God made everything. I remember sitting there thinking diligently, "What if God didn't exist?" Then nothing would have ever been made. That means for all eternity, there would just be nothing. The idea of non-existence was something that I wasn't ready to handle at the time. I was able to suppress any fears that I might have had about not existing, because, let's face it. I do exi
Over the weekend I had a lengthy conversation on Facebook with a Christian who was making the typical Christian responses regarding homosexuality and other related topics. (I want to note here that the original post was made by a friend of mine at my church who is a pretty popular Facebook celebrity within my church, so lots of people were following the comments section once I got going with this guy) Invariably, this person ended up starting into the whole "Truth comes from the Bible" crap that