Death for me over the years has rarely been difficult to process and move on. I've buried quite a few, only mourned a couple. The two I mourn are now memories I guard so earnestly a mother bear could not rival my ferocity. These two people immediately bring on the wet eyes and short tight breaths when I just so much as think on their lives, their influence, and my loss.
This past January I experienced a third loss of someone very important in my life. It's hit me very hard, and I am surprise
I'm a very private person, and perhaps a bit of a sensitive one while I'm at it. I don't like telling people things because my thoughts, feelings and desires are precious to me and I don't appreciate it when people piss and shit all over them. You ever tell somebody you're doing some non standard hobby and their immediate reply is either "man, you got so much time on your hands" or "why would you do that"? Both responses crush your spirit at a time when you're trying to bring somebody close to b
I've been trying to come up with an idea for my 2014 NaNo Project. I did semi-autobiographical stuff in 2012 and LGBT YA in 2013. I really wanted to do speculative fiction this year, or spec-fic for short. Speculative fiction is basically riffing on the future, theorizing about what will happen and why a certain chain of events may happen. I like that sort of thing.
I'm a bit of a futurist. I am not heavily into Kurzweil's works, but I do enjoy thinking about AI, nanotech, genetics and how V
I've had some difficult times in my life. People that I was close with have died. That's never easy. I've also had doubts about my career, or life choices. It's hard sometimes. Everyone deals with this. There's always times in someone's life when they feel hopeless and afraid. It's inevitable. What will happen then? Will we, even as atheists, fall down on our knees and beg for a God, if one could hear us, to come and help us? Death bed conversions are somewhat common stories. What does that say
Just a quick entry from me tonight.
I'm going through some personal stuff. Been thinking a lot about God, praying, etc.
As some of you know, I care for my grandmother. She hasn't been doing well these past couple of weeks. Lots of long nights, extra medication and chronic pain...
Last Thursday, my mother (who also has health problems) fell and fractured her left elbow and severely bruised her left hip. She also damaged the tendons in both of her shoulders over the course of the past
For many, many years, I have always found an unending fount of devilish giggles whenever I read sappy church signs. You know, the ones that are thought up by the honorary witty member of the church congregation that plays on puns, abuses homophones, and loves to dabble in sappy poetry attempts. What better way to market a deity than with comedy?
I very rarely come across one that doesn't make me laugh. Dare I say, maybe these little billboards of religious recruitment are a little guilty ple
There is no greater testimony for the existence of a Creator than the creation. That we exist, that anything exists, at all, cries out that God is real and that he made this world for us. If there were even the slightest difference in this universe we wouldn't exist, couldn't exist. This universe has been "fine tuned" for us to live in. This is the argument from design as I have heard it presented to me countless times. Is this true? Could the forces of our universe be any different than they ar
If I spend enough time on the internet, especially if it's in the comments of a news article or perhaps on a forum; chances are I am going to read something that pisses me off. There is then this urge of wanting to tell this person off or correct them; but what I always come back to in my mind is how often do people change their point of view after arguing with somebody in person, never mind the internet? The percentage is basically so close to 0 it can be considered an anomaly.
When I remin
During my mother's descent into madness, a whole host of things happened. Especially during the period between my mother's first stint in the mental hospital and her second major one. You see, it sucked pretty badly being in the foster homes that I was in and I figured putting up with my crazy mother was less of a jabbing than dealing with them.
The first thing I really remember her doing that was weird was basically claiming that she was drugged and hypnotised at some football club near wh
I don't remember the exact chronology of things but I know I was 8 when shit really hit the fan, even though things were brewing before then. Since I can't really recall what happened before or after I'll just focus on the crux of it.
I remember parts of the day, though not in so much detail. It was a weekend, a Saturday I'm pretty sure. I remember I was pissed that the best thing on was an Aladdin musical which I detested. My mother was on edge and I knew it so I was trying not to set her o
I don't often talk about my past, not because I have anything I particularly want to keep secret or to hide or to forget - it just doesn't come up in conversation much and if it does it makes everybody all awkward and all that and they sorta regret asking the probing question which revealed details about me they didn't wish to know about
Anyways. I was reading something about emergency line workers this morning and it made me think of my most memorable experience of having to make an emerge
I am having trouble about knowing who to establish relationships with and who to avoid. I don't like having shallow relationships with people. I'd rather have a few, sincere friends rather than a lot of shallow friends. Anyway there are a couple of men that I am on the fence about.
On the one hand, that we have a lot in common and the potential for a great friendship is there based on the commonalities in personality that are there. It's a rare thing when your personality just seems to
In the media, and in life, I often hear the claims that the scientific institutions refuse to allow evidence that contradicts the standing theories about our universe. The argument is that contradictory views are simply not allowed. What ideas? In these conversations the ideas that I'm presented with are about the fine tuning of the universe, criticisms to evolution, like irreducible complexity, or the origin of the universe. There are PhD's that have written works on these topics and scientific
Everywhere I scroll, I find many atheist and secular minded individuals with my same mindset. No God. No religion. Acceptance for all. On the television, it is always the same faces of Dawkins, Harris, Silverman, and occasionally Cupp. I run into the same issues on blog sites like Patheos, Freethought, Secular Coalition, and American Atheists. Same male faces and the dash of a female writer now and then.
I don't know about the rest of this movement, but I long for more outspoken atheist wome
**Part of the "Reasons Why I No Longer Believe" series
Yes. YES. This is how I feel most of the time. I left Facebook once my friends started getting married and having kids ~3 years ago. At the time, I was still in the church and pretty actively so. I had temporary custody of one of my sister's sons. They were my everything at that time. I am infertile and have known that kids were never going to happen for me since I was a teenager. I have a rare genetic condition called Nonclassic
News of the Day: My friend MJ finally had her fucking kid. A precious bundle of uncircumcised fake Jewish joy, complete with a really obscure Hebrew name. Bleh.
Anyway, we had a conversation via text today and she went there. Oh yes she did! Just had to throw the whole "you don't believe so..." excuse for not answering my questions as to why it was such a big deal to give her son a hideous name that will be mispronounced for the rest of his life. Here ya go, ex-cs...
*Note: I didn't incl
Is scientific testimony equivalent to the testimony of someone’s religious experience? Am I being cynical for trusting a scientist that describes the results of their experiment and the conclusions they draw from those results, but questioning the testimony of someone who is telling me about their religious experience? Am I being unfairly biased between these two types of testimony?
I don’t trust scientists because of their reputation or distrust a religious testimony because of the characte
Atheists often get portrayed as cynics, not necessarily without some merit, to be fair. I imagine what Christians describe as the average atheist is someone with their arms folded, scowling, and muttering something under their breath. I keep this in mind when I'm responding to Christians that engage me, or, at least, I try to. I feel I have to try extra hard not to live up to the caricature of the "angry atheist". That being said, atheists are angry.
Many people are familiar with the Pew Pol
I was having a conversation with someone today and I realized that probably the most valuable lessons in life that I learned were those that were not taught to me. I wasn't taught to judge my self worth based on my appearance, my intellectual ability or my wealth. I also wasn't taught to judge others based on these qualities either. I think it's a bit sad this isn't as common as it should be.
Part of the possible series called "Reasons Why I No Longer Believe"
Reason #7: Gwen, Jessica, and The Devastating Consequences of Prolonged Human Depravity
What is it to love another? What if the other person does not want to be loved? Or cannot respond in kind? What do you do then? According to the doctrines of long-suffering emotional stifling and doing battles with the demonic forces of the Enemy of All, you are to take it on the chin, like a (wo)man. No matter what, God will work hi
Better part of the second day of sobriety is over. The depression and the nasty feeling in the pit of the stomach has come. The lack of appetite sucks. Excessive caffeine use just lead to more depression and anxiety.
Was gonna walk to the store to buy some headphones but chose not to because of the promise to stay sober for today which I may have violated if having gone to the store.Now there is an online addiction I need to address that I'm substituting for the drugs. Was acting like
All things end. It's true. You will die. Your kids will die. Their kids will die. All life, eventually dies. Even our Earth will die, and our solar system, and even, one day, our universe. As they say, all good things, eventually, will come to an end. I don't know if anything exists beyond our universe, or if anything will continue to exist after our universe ends. Maybe, it doesn't. Maybe, this is the only time life will ever come into existence, and after this, there will be no more.
****I wrote the following around the time I quit attending church. Not sure links still work and I admit there may be flaws in my calculations. Very long and verbose.****
This is a story, an example of probability, possibility and the delusions that many believe.
There is a family that goes to the church that I sometimes attend. I do not know them. Perhaps we have passed in the halls or the worship room. That’s about it though. They are believers, hardcore holy-rollin