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Updates

It's been a while since I wrote something on here, so here goes.   The last 2 years haven't been a whole lot different than the 5 before it religion wise. I was in and out of Christianity. I was in and out of Paganism. But recently I discovered Islam and was relatively happy with it. Every once in a while however I have doubts because I am alone here as a Muslim and have no faith community to go to.   I am a theist but have no idea who my gods are.   I know one thing: I'm tired of seeking.

Outlaw393

Outlaw393

The Death Of Faith

It all started when I was a child, born on a beautiful Sunday in March. Of course, my parents, two churchgoing Christians, were in church that morning when my mother started going into labor. So I can say I was nearly born in a church. Of course, I was born six hours later in a hospital. And here begins the story of religion and how it affected my life.   Growing up, my parents made us all (me and my two brothers that also lived in the house) go to church every Sunday, no matter what. It was h

Outlaw393

Outlaw393

Relationship With The Old Man

Lately, while I have found solace and fellowship in Christianity, Odin has been just outside the door, knocking, waiting for me to answer.   Metaphorically, lately, he has followed me when I left the house, so to speak, and found me someplace where there are no barriers between me and him.   It's a strange feeling, meeting Odin. He knows me. That's the biggest feeling I get when he's around. And when I say that, it's not like a friend would know me. This is a very intimate thing. I'm not rea

Outlaw393

Outlaw393

Loki

I've studied, dealt with, and periodically have honored/followed the Norse pantheon for years, finding solace with Odin, Thor, and Freyja. But one God I never dealt with was the god of trickery, Loki.   In January I had a dream about Mayhem and at first I was pretty sure it wasn't really Mayhem, but someone else possibly masquerading as him. So I thought about it and eventually came up with the conclusion that Mayhem = Loki.   (if you don't know who Mayhem is, he's a character in the Allstat

Outlaw393

Outlaw393

Leaving Christianity

Recently if you’ve read my blog, you’d find a testimony about my leaving Christianity relatively recently (within the past month). Though it took over four years, Christianity became fake to me like waking up on a movie stage where there are backdrops, storylines, props and stuntmen.   I look back and ask myself, why did it take so long for you to realize how fake it all was? Honestly, I craved – and still crave – the fellowship the church offered. People who were like my second family, suppor

Outlaw393

Outlaw393

Goodbye To Christianity One Last Time

Christmas Eve, 2010. I was standing amongst the congregation of my Lutheran Church – after all I had agreed with myself in advance that I wasn’t going for the religious side of it, I was going simply because I appreciate tradition. As I stood there, I began to wonder: Why go through all these motions? Why do all this ceremony – singing, bible reading, sermons – and for what? The whole religion seems so artificial to me now, sorta like waking up on a movie stage and finding everything you believe

Outlaw393

Outlaw393

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