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Goodbye Jesus

A Poor Reflection

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I Just Remembered, I Have A Blog!

The Lord has healed me!!!!! Yes that's right folks. I've been touched by the healing hands of God. GLORY!!!! Praise the Lord. Bless the Lord. Amen. Amen.   Not.   No. My "healing" came about by sacrificing 2 months pay, all my sick leave and all my annual leave, to spend hundreds of dollars travelling back to the mainland and my family to spend further hundreds of dollars to be treated by a physiotherapist who knows all about physiotherapy - one whom I have used before. She did w

narcissist

narcissist

One step forward, two cricket bats to the head.

Fuck my back hurts.   It fucking hurts. I just can’t fucking think straight any more, it’s so fucking painful.   The cause is scoliosis, apparently. I've been seeing a physio for the past 2 months, it's kind of working, but… I’d just wish someone would actually massage and work the painful muscles! I saw a masseur recently, based on the recommendation of some work colleagues, who swore a masseur would really do the job. They said he’ll really dig into and work those offending muscles,

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Guest

My buggered up childhood

When I was a child, I wanted to play soccer with the local junior club like my cousins and friends were. My father would not let me. “No! You’re not allowed!” He would command “Because I said so. I’m your father and you do as I say, right?!”   When I was a younger child, I wanted to join the Scouts (Cubs, whatever) like my cousins and friends were. My father would not let me. “No! You’re not allowed!” He would command, “Because I said so. I’m your father and you do as I say, right?!”

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The door is still open.

This business of mine sux.   These well meaning more experienced “mentors” tell me to do things in certain ways because it will make my job easier. I then go and do these things and guess what, lo and behold, it actually makes my job harder. Man I’ve had enough.   I called “the boss” last week (not Bruce Springsteen), the bloke who runs the business I once did contract work for. Instead of offering myself again as a contractor, I offered myself as a full time worker. I can’t remember t

Guest

Guest

Why I'll never had a girlfriend

Why I’ve almost never had a girlfriend, and probably never will.   I’ve been looking at threads + posts on these forums regarding women, dating, virginity + nice guys. It’s saddened me to once again remind myself of how much of a “nice guy” I am, or was, or still am. When I say “nice guy” I mean it in the nicest possible way (read: worst possible way).   When I was growing up I swore I would never be like my father. I would never be the violent, angry, physically + verbally abusive per

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Wallowing in self pity

Man I am soooooo depressed. Why oh why oh why did I have to get myself into this. I can’t even think straight to write this thing.   Self employment. My own business.   I’m not up to this. I thought I was. I deluded myself into thinking that I was. It had always been a dream of mine, to start and grow my own business, be my own boss and profit from my own success, to be like my father and my uncles and aunties, a “successful” business owner. But now it looks like its nothing more th

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The Long Road To Normality

I went to a pub tonight, all by myself, for the second week in a row.   I had a pint of Guinness, for a second week in a row. Although this week it was much better as it was out of a tap rather than out of a can (different pub, different town), and it was also 2 bucks cheaper and it actually filled the glass. The pub, the local “Irish theme pub”, was fairly quiet though. Early in the night perhaps? (about 9:30pm). A few nice young ladies passed through the pub. But I was in no position t

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The Optimist and the Pessimist

The Optimist and the Pessimist on Holiday   The Optimist and the Pessimist were on holiday in tropical northern Australia when they came across a river. It was quite hot as it generally is in the tropics and, to the Optimist; this looked like a good swimming hole.   “Let’s go for a swim,” said the Optimist “I dunno,” hesitated the Pessimist, “I’ve heard there are man eating crocodiles lurking in these waters.” “Don’t be such a pessimist,” retorted the Optimist, “let’s get out of the

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Sacrificial Love: how far will you go?

I was once in love with this girl, but she wasn’t a Christian, but she could have been. Yet, despite some very encouraging conversations, she couldn’t be convinced to become a Christian. I started thinking about love, and how much I loved her, and how far I would be willing to go to express that love for her. This got me thinking about Christ’s love and how far he went to express his love for us. I began to ask myself, “Would I be willing to sacrifice my place in heaven for her? Would I be

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Stupid Fucking Internet

I just spent an hour and a half busting my arse and brain to compose my latest entry for this blog. Once I was satisfied with my work I clicked on the Preview Post button and guess what: ERROR ERROR ERROR, PAGE COULD NOT BE RETRIEVED or some bullshit like that.   One and a half hours of my life and 2-300 brilliantly composed words for your enlightenment gone forever.   What a fucking coincidence, my first serious and reasonably lenthy post which I put my heart and soul into and I don't ge

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Hello, hello?

Testing one two? PHHH PHHH Is this thing on? (Squeally noise) (TAP TAP TAP) One TTSSoo TTSSoo One TTSSooo...  

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