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Singing a NEW song now...songs of an EX christian

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Looking For A Quick (Spiritual) Fix? (From Livenotonevil.blogspot.com)

I love to read and learn.   I have read a library full of books and delved into great thoughts with reckless abandon. That is until I became a christian.   After I "gave my life to Jesus", since I "was no longer my own" but I was "bought with a price", I didn't have the right to run my life and think great thoughts and follow great thinkers...   I had to follow Jesus...that was it.     I am NO LONGER a christian. I have seen myself, accepted my beliefs and have
NEWsong

NEWsong

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It's Never Too Late To Wake Up

I am glad that I WOKE UP. I am really glad that I no longer live WITHIN the constraints of life according to an unseen "sky friend" and the "doctrine" that the community perpetuated. I don't miss it. I don't miss "him". I began to realize this shortly AFTER my deconversion started June 2011. It was pretty much complete by August and by November I felt comfortable saying to others that I was "no longer a christian". I had FOUND my life...and it was "not hid" in an invisible sky friend like I was
NEWsong

NEWsong

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No More Fooling Around

As christian, I obviously "believed what isn't true" and perpetuated the DELUSION of peace supposedly given to me by religion and I remained "in the christian box". I actually thought it was a "good life". Since I have broken out of that box, I realized that to NOT believe what is NOT true was only secondly important to "refusing to accept what IS true" and that is where I am TODAY.I am on a healing journey of acceptance and I don't have the time or energy to waste in fooling around with rainbo
NEWsong

NEWsong

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Real Life (Bit Of A Vent But All True)

Wow, do I have a story for you!!! (Long but concise and relevant to deconversion from christianity; a tragic but true love story in brief )   A story of a young man and woman; first loves at college but 3 years into the passionate bond she becomes a christian and within 4 months TO THE DAY, they separate. She thought that she would NEVER see him again; he has been controlling and impulsive, passionate but EXTREME, highly intelligent but emotionally unstable...she had to MOVE ON and find a "nic
NEWsong

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Looking At The Past Year

When I look back onto 2012, it will always "be the year" that I lived FULLY as an EX Christian.   In 2011, I began the deconversion process in March and found that I was "deconverted" by November. It was a turbulent year with my mom being diagnosed with 4th stage cancer at the age of 87, living several states away from me to where I had not already seen her for nearly two years when she passed away in Sept 2011. I had resigned from my full time employment and relocated and my son joined us in
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"tis The Season...

Well it is almost upon us...my second Christmas as a EX christian. I am okay with it really. I still enjoy the music and love the lights, candles, scents and sounds. I think that I am NOT annoyed by the "secular" part as much, I actually LIKE the Vintage Santa Clauses and the fun children's "Christmas" programs even more now. I have not had ANY desire to spend any part of my "Christmas celebration" in any church or with religious television programming or even listening to christian radio. It is
NEWsong

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Real Life

Real Life I spent YEARS believing that I was truly living but I knew, deep in my heart that I was NOT living the life that I really wanted. I was trying to live the life that I "thought I had to" live. I didn't DARE to think that I could HAVE the man that I first fell in love with in college since he was NOT a christian.   I had convinced myself that I would not be happy with him just because he was not a christian at the time we broke up. I continually reminded myself of this yet I did not w
NEWsong

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Intellectual Awakening

* * *   I love this pic and message that I have found and just wanted to share it with you. I feel that it profoundly describes the journey that many of us have traveled and many of us are traveling with family and friends. * * *     We have learned SO much about ourselves. We have learned that we have to tread our own path. We cannot follow others, blindly, even for the hope of community or acceptance. We have learned that w
NEWsong

NEWsong

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Not In The Dark

We have suffered power loss, downed electrical lines and fallen trees due to storms that recently ravaged our county. There were 25 people trapped in their cars for 4 hours due to 15 power lines that were downed and this was very close to where we live. All in all, we were out of electricity for over 59 hours. Yes, it was inconvenient. No, I didn't pray to God to save us or call on Jesus' Name when we drove back through another storm front that took out another 20,000 homes after 600,000 had bee
NEWsong

NEWsong

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They Really Are Jealous Of Our Freedom

They really hate it. They may even hate US. We are free and our presence, our joy and our peace, which DOES NOT COME FROM CHRISTIANITY; irks them to NO end!!!   We are a CONSTANT reminder that we are NO LONGER BOUND by the "christian contructs" nor do we have to live within the "christian box". They have learned to DEPEND upon God, calling themselves weak (and He is strong...yeah) and totally defiling their own power as human beings to "be a christian" to gain some sort of "worth". It is ludic
NEWsong

NEWsong

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It Gets Better All The Time

I am really happy where I am at now. I realize that the "past is in the past" and the "life" I knew as a christian was just a waste of real time. I did learn much about myself and why I married an abusive husband and why I have endured the abuse from my current borderline personality disordered spouse; whom I really love. I have learned to "take care" of others.   It was drilled into me as a young christian; I was only 23 at the time. I am seeing BACK with total clarity of "how I put up with"
NEWsong

NEWsong

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Seeing Myself...honestly.

It's amazing to me to realize how differently and more honestly I have seen myself in the past 8 months or more. Surprisingly, I never felt the need to "cling to" my new identity as an ex christian like I had when I first became a christian in 1985. It has been more of a comfortable easy chair feeling and kind of like a sweet and soft realization that things really were NOT what I thought they were.   I think this is an explanation of why christians see us as arrogant and "too self-assured".
NEWsong

NEWsong

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In My 6Th Month Of Deconversion

My mom passed Sept 16th. This just happens to be the same day as a junior high schoolmates birthday, one I have celebrated for many years now, we just got back in touch on Facebook a few months before. Unlike my friend who I had lost contact with for many years, I had either seen my mom or spoken to her every day for the past 30 years. While she was diagnosed with cancer, moved to a facility and then shortly after that, moved to an hospice, this enabled me to break the habit of calling everyday
NEWsong

NEWsong

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I Really Hate The Religious Agenda And How It "kills" The Spirit

"I am a deeply religious nonbeliever - this is a somewhat new kind of religion." - Albert Einstein   I just ran across this quote and feel like rambling a little bit about it; hope you don't mind...I certainly hope that Albert Einstein did not really mean that "it is somewhat new kind of RELIGION". After realizing how damaging and even murderous "religion" has been to the spirits of so many people (not excluding those who are STILL in delusion), I find the thought
NEWsong

NEWsong

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Being No Longer Deluded Has Helped In Other Areas Of My Life

I have had another epiphany. Upon deconversion from christianity, I see that I have been DELUDED and in denial about my loved ones borderline personality disorder as well. I have been wondering for the past year WHY he has acted in ways and raged and "lost all mental control" and allowed his emotions to engulf him to the point of not being able to even "logically talk" to him. It has been enlightening to see that my delusion of faith in christianity had affected ALL areas of my life. This angers
NEWsong

NEWsong

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Thinking About Love...

I have known love...and I KNOW LOVE now. I have loved many people who have since died and I am grateful to have known and loved them even though "they are lost to me" now...their memories comfort me. This Valentine's Day I think of precious loved ones that I will be sending only a "valentine from my heart to their memory". I had lost my "first love" and "found him" again after 25 years. LOVE is eternal. Our LOVE has only gotten stronger.         I thought that I "knew" love when I was a ch
NEWsong

NEWsong

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I "came Out" For The First Time Today!

"Coming out" is a term that is not exclusively for those talking about their sexual orientation or preferences but also for the EX christian who is "coming out" of hiding that fact that they are NO longer "of the faith". I found this to be the term used for ex-christians who have "deconverted" on the wonderful website for ex-christians called ex-christian.net.   I was at one of my favorite consignment stores; ok, it was the Goodwill store and it is awesome by the way. I have befriended one o
NEWsong

NEWsong

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Reality Vs. Fantasy

I really have to say that I started this draft for this entry yesterday before reading and posting in the Lion's Den... There is a christian song that I heard years ago that made absolutely NO sense to me and many other christians at the time... CHORUS: I'd rather walk in the dark with Jesus Than walk in the light on my own I'd rather go through the valley of the shadow with him Than to dance on the mountains alone I'd rather follow wherever he leads me Than to go where
NEWsong

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Following My Bliss

I've really enjoyed and gotten much clarity about religion from watching Joseph Campbell "Power of Myth" DVDs. I think I started watching them in April 2011. I had been working through emotional issues of dealing with and divorcing a "religious controller and abuser" and had not been influenced by "the church" for about 6 months at that point but I still felt a reluctance about watching and "accepting the truth" that I would find there.   I remember watching the first three or four episodes be
NEWsong

NEWsong

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Was I Really So Dense?

I really enjoy Ex christian.net...I never "envisioned" myself as an EX christian...maybe more of a NON Christian after many years, several DECADES of "living the christian life" and living it well, or so I thought.   I realize HOW DENSE I was mentally and intellectually. I KNOW that I was DEEP IN DENIAL about the domestically abusive marriage and a personality disordered (mentally ill) spouse and his dysfunctional daughter. I used DENIAL in order to survive (coping mechanism) WITHIN that abusi
NEWsong

NEWsong

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Everything Old Is New Again...

The day that I finally admitted to myself that "I am not a christian" anymore, I had mixed feelings. I was relieved on one hand and surprisingly at peace ironically.I didn't KNOW for sure that "not being" something would lead to BEING ME in a new way...that is why I named myself NEWsong for this forum. In christian circles, this means something else but it applies to my life. I am musical and have sung my WHOLE life so far and intend on continuing to sing.   I am not sure "what" my NEW song co
NEWsong

NEWsong

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