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In the Interest of Honesty...

Entries in this blog

Use Your Brains, People!

As a recent ex-christian (6 months sober), I am still waking up to the utter lunacy of the majority of our population. Even as a True Believer, when I saw things like this I was able to call bullshit. I would get aggravated by believers who seemed to check their brains at the door, and felt like they made the rest of us look bad. I feel like a self-righteous ass to admit that. But if you were to get them to admit it – there are many Christians who feel that way.   Even though I kept more

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Some Of My Favorite Ex-C Quotes

These are not in any particular order. I only wish I had saved more of them because there are SO many other things I’ve read here, and that you guys have said to me, that have been so meaningful, encouraging and funny – I just didn’t think to save it all at the time. I realize I can always go back to the archives and re-read stuff, but it just isn't the same as having all of the "nuggets" in one place!   I share these quotes to pay homage to the wonderful people on this site, and b/c I think

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I'm Still The Same Girl

(This is a portion of a "coming out" letter that I wrote to a dear friend.)     A year ago if anyone had told me that this was going to happen – that I would lose the faith I’d had my entire life, I would have NEVER believed them. In the past when I heard of anyone I knew leaving the faith I could not understand it. I would feel so sorry for them. I always felt like unbelievers must feel so lost and so miserable (even if they didn’t know it). And yet, here I am now…an unbeliever. And I a

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Permission To Think Freely

When I began to seriously question my faith, one of the things I struggled with was that the idea of a “guarantee” in life was gone. God had always been my guarantee – “all things work together for good” was a scripture that I clung to often. I always felt like I was special – that I got special treatment because I loved God and let him plan my life for me. I believed he loved me as a daughter and would always take care of me.   Any time I was ever afraid of anything, I fell back on that.

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Waking Up, Part 2

(This the continuation of my journal entry from October 24, 2011.)       Over the past week I’ve gone back over 7 years worth of journals. In them, there are countless entries where I am crying out to God, asking questions, wondering why I’m not seeing results or answers to prayer, etc. Then sandwiched in between them are entries where I am trusting, surrendering, and thanking Him for what I believe He’s doing. But when I look back, those times I’ve laid in bed crying haven’t really been

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Waking Up

(This is the continuation of a series of journal entries written during my deconversion process.)   October 24, 2011   Over the past week and a half, I’ve just really allowed myself to deeply question my beliefs…even to the point of questioning the existence of God, the reality of the Kingdom, and the accuracy/validity of the Bible. I am beginning to wonder if much of what I have suffered has been the result of this belief system. I am having trouble reconciling the God I’ve been told abou

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Coming Clean, Part 2

(This is part 2 of a journal entry that I wrote during my deconversion process. This one's more of a "rant", as I was just venting my frustration over the realization that my life was not a reflection of all I had believed in my whole life.)       September 11, 2011   This is the first time in my life I’ve allowed myself to think this honestly and to be this real with myself. I mean, I’ve done my share of ranting and raving with my fingers on my keyboard…hashing it out with God and askin

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Coming Clean, Part 1

This was originally something I posted in the forums, but I thought I'd divide it up into 3 or 4 blog posts in case anyone missed it. These are journal entries I wrote while in the middle of my deconversion process. It's my hope that it helps someone out there who is struggling with their faith as I was. If that's you, just know that it does get better. It's normal to doubt and to question. The intense sadness I experienced while writing these things was there because of my faith, not in sp

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Broken By Faith Healing

After the birth of my son in 1997 I began to have some health problems. Over the next several years my health declined very gradually. But by around 2007 I was nearly bedridden. Over the following 2 years I went to a couple of different doctors and only improved slightly. Despite all of this, my faith was strong. I was frustrated and wondered why this was happening, but I never doubted that God loved me and had some kind of plan that I just couldn’t see or understand.   In 2008 we began a

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Different Versions Of God

It’s interesting how Christians all have their own interpretations of the Bible and of who God is. At the church we most recently were a part of, God was nice and happy and loved everyone and had all these great goodies for them. But down the street from our house is a weird little church with some pretty angry “messages from God” on their sign out front. They fully believe God is an angry guy out to get those who don’t believe in him or who don’t go to church often enough.   So who is righ

2Honest

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