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Goodbye Jesus
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Yearly update - short hand version

Shorthand version of my 2017 thus far: -Passed my belt test for my 1st degree black in martial arts, and am working on the Okinawan Sai form. -I'm working on changing my mindset for the better. This has involved some heavy time management and making time for things instead of just brooding with my thoughts. -I'm lining up additional physical challenges to press myself to the limits in conditioning and endurance, in an effort to be better prepared for the 2nd degree test in a year and a hal

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Travi

Life Full Of Plateaus, But Maybe There Is An End In Sight

Plateau is defined by a google search as the following:   pla·teau plaˈtō/   noun noun: plateau; plural noun: plateaux; plural noun: plateaus 1. an area of relatively level high ground. synonyms: upland, tableland, plain, mesa, highland, coteau "a windswept plateau" denoting a group of American Indian peoples of the plateau country of western Canada and the US, including the Nez Percé. modifier noun: plateau

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Turning My Personal Calendar

The month of May is always tough for me due to past experiences that have come and gone. Two passings (my best friend 8 years ago, which began my deconversion, and my best four legged friend and furchild of 18 years, 5 years ago), several bad memories, and much in the way of strife usually plagues the month that saw my birth. I'll be turning 29 in about 13 days, and it seems like each year - my situation never gets better, or the odds continue to stack against me. Both are things I'm looking to

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Travi

Week 4 Of Strike, No Change In Sight.

Half laying, half sitting here in the cargo bay of my vehicle - I am exhausted. Insomnia struck at an inopportune time last night. An hour of sleep for six hours of picket duty in the back of my SUV. Fatigue sets in and sleep threatens to overtake me. Still three and a half hours to go, and time is going no quicker than five minutes ago. While the bay floor isn't as comfortable as my bed, it is the right position for what my body needs: rest.   The stress of the last few weeks has really take

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Travi

Strike Day #7, Vote #2. Prediction: Strike Day #8 On The Way.

It's amazing how much time you come up with when work doesn't occupy 8-12 hours of it a day. Since my union voted to go on strike last Saturday, this has been the longest week I've experienced in a while. The final "real" paycheck came in Friday, now it's living off the less-than-minimum-wage of $200.00/week until people go broke, or the union gets what they want.   I say the union because I voted against a strike. Zealotry in a cause ended a long time ago when I left Christianity, and that ze

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Travi

Studying The Tape

Did the obligatory reminiscence yesterday afternoon while I tried to sleep and realized how uneventful 2015 was outside of a few major events. I essentially tried to break out of my introvert shell on a couple occasions, meeting with mixed results. A lot of it depended on context of event and when and where it took place.   January: I rang in 2015 alone at home while recovering from the car wreck that was still fresh on my mind and body, the effects of the concussions making life miserably and

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Travi

Rough Excerpt Trial From New Book

"Three thousand years..." For three thousand years, we have watched over the sands of time. Watched civilizations rise, and watched their fall. We have stood as the stewards of all events in history - from the fall of Rome, to the rise of the Soviet Empire. We made the Berlin Wall crumble, and we built up the new face of the world. For the first time in our history, we watched...as we failed. We watched, as one man thwarted our plans. And we watched as another presented new ideas. However, failu

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Travi

Dorbies?

Despite having found out the urban dictionary definition of this word, dorbies still makes me blink my eyes slowly as I digest what happened. Upon further thought on this, I quickly discovered that I am stuck in the perpetual climb of complimental words. While I have never been accused of turning heads where I walk on any occasion, the number of "odd" events had suddenly exploded to unsustainable levels.   As the previous entries have detailed time and time again, I have lost a bunch of weight

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Travi

New Physical Challenge, And Looking Ahead To The New Year

Can hardly believe this year is nearly over. As the calendar flips over to the 1st of December, we are officially in the final days of 2015, moving on into 2016 and beyond. This coming year offers a grand chance to get this officially situated and squared away, pending a successful contract signing in February. If that happens, the following happens: New place. I will officially be able to get back out on my own again, and finally start to make some headway in terms of being a responsible adult

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Travi

Righting The Ship, I Think...

As it stands, my return to a workout routine has not been the best yet. Two days in now, and both have been cut short due to the need to get back into my regimen. Today came with my body deciding that it didn't want to run, so my body got weak and I had to stop, almost in a: "Nope, not doing it motherfucker!"   Doing some research a couple days yielded a brilliant guidance tool for measuring your daily metabolic rate: A BMR calculator through google. My BMR is 2104.5 (meaning I don't get out o

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Travi

The Struggle Of Moving Forward

Many call me the fool for my inability, or maybe even refusal, to move forward in life from a very traumatizing situation that followed me pouring my being into helping someone I felt like I could love. Watching all of the answers I wanted finally come together, and I'm yet still left with asking where I messed up. While that same many have told me it was nothing I did, it takes two to tango and somewhere along the lines I couldn't connect the dots. Or maybe I didn't want to, blinding myself to

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Travi

At What Point...

...do we ever catch a break from life's grip? My entire existence seems to be fighting against some invisible force who is hell bent on making my every step a fucking chore. Today alone, I have thrown out my back, had a clamp fall on my head, had my mind explode, and had every thing and its grandmother go wrong in terms of work content. What have I done to piss off this invisible force?   I have struggled since day one on this Earth, being born clinically dead due to being choked by my mother'

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