There is a time I wonder if everything of Nature makes up anykind of real Deity God like in this Universe? That maybe the whole Universe and the Matter that is, is being this one real Deity God (?) If this definition can hold valid? And is this what is called ... 'Pantheism'?

My thoughts and wondering began when I started questioning the Christian Faith I use to be in back in 1981. I began to take notice of the world and its Nature of being Nature. What is Nature reveiling as evidence of truth that can not be denied by its evidence.

The idea of 'God' to me, as the means of having a relationship would have to be something that one deals at the moment with the aesthetics and senses. I got thinking, if we want to relate with this 'God' (?) It would be how we relate with the world and this Nature before us. I felt that if we are appreciating what we sense about the world and Nature. Then we can appreciate 'God' and that is the aesthetic proximity of dealing with Nature. We appreciate and contend with Nature in the right way and we are dealing with 'God' in the right way. We are experiencing, seeing the evidence and relating with this 'God' by enjoying what Nature offers us. Who we are as physical beings and sexual beings. Sex wasn't just for propagating, but to find a sense of fulfillment in relationships aesthetically. Erotically Aesthetically. Sex is the borometer of health, fitness and excercise. We are really having this relationship with 'God' by who we have relationships with others. Maybe sexual orientation doesn't have to be a big deal, as long we want to see the best going between such congress enterchanging of ideas that do make differences. We try to find what agrees and how to deal with differences by understanding what makes those differences. Life's mistake is not at being a bigot on them. Life is expermenting with diversity. Making diversity so that there is still something exciting about the aesthetics of life and to be able to take notice of the changes. In that way, life is trying to avoid bordness and offering something new all the time.

I'm very Heterosexual and want intimacy with the opposite sex. I'm in some ways attracted to some conventional means of this. Whatever? I still see a world and its Nature as being what it is. I have thought that the origional 'Sin' is Man making Religion and Cults to deviate from Nature. So where is the origional Sin? Man avoiding Nature. The real 'Sin' is Religion. Nature is the 'Real God or Deity'

It does seem to make more sense. But I still am offended that it isn't something you can rely on for guidance and much support to honor and worship. There is also this Decay, Savageness, Competition, Survival over the death of something else, Evil that can distroy and nothing seems to make it all out to be fair. I might admire Nature for its beauty. But I do expect something fair in return if such is cognitive enough to be worth saying it's all a 'Deity or God'. But for any case (?) Nature would be the closest I could see for a 'Deity or God' and of this Universe.