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Nihil's Blog

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Ennui


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I just don't seem as interested in things as I used to. Hobbies, entertainment, studies, etc. They just seem to involve me less and less.

 

I used to play Magic (The card game, if its not apparent). I loved making decks, trying 'em out. I liked playing, trading, buying boosters. But now.... Fuck Magic. I use my cards to light my cigars. I haven't played a game in almost a year. I really couldn't care less about Magic anymore. All these cheesy green decks the punk kids use nowadays have pretty much spoiled my enjoyment. And all the sets that have come out lately pretty much suck. Honestly, the game's been run into the ground.

 

I used to larp. And I loved it. Had a lot of fun playing, had fun seeing the other players. But now, I'm kinda tired of it. I'm tired of people arguing with me, giving me a hard time about this rule or that damage call. Everytime I think about going back, I think about the horribly unfun time I had at the last event I went to, and the urge passes quickly. I might never go back.

 

And that's just the tip of the iceberg. It seems like just about anything I used to be really into and addicted to, I'm now either tired of, or I have a take-it-or-leave-it attitude about it.

 

My grandmother said it might just be my interests changing as I mature. I don't know, though. If my interests were changing, shouldn't new ones be replacing the old ones? It doesn't seem to be happening, though.

 

The most scary thought I've had is that maybe I'm just becoming boring. The second most scary thought is, maybe everything really does suck, and I've only just started to notice.

 

Til I know for sure, I keep looking for something that's worth paying attention to....

 

 

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