The title is a little more dramatic than what the situation it refers to is but such is life. Since hearing of my job loss I have been feeling the claws of the darkness that is depression grasping at me trying to get a hold of me again. It's honestly taking a lot out of me to stay positive and ignore the bad feeling that seems to be wrapping itself around me. The last time I lost my job this very same thing happened except I wasn't able to fight against it (maybe because I was unfamiliar with my foe?). What was helping me stay positive was this job opportunity I had which was really really good. I was lucky enough to get to the final stage of the interview but I unfortunately didn't make the cut. This is the second time I've applied for this position (the first time being a couple years ago).

The reasons listed IMO were very trivial but perhaps there was more to it that they weren't comfortable (i.e. legally allowed) to share. It was especially cutting because out of all the candidates I was by far the most qualified. It's also really painful for me because I really tried for these interviews and I did a lot better than I've ever done. Due to my pessimism I was expecting not to get the job (I basically expect nothing good to ever happen to me) but even with that I was still surprised because I thought I did remarkably well (something I normally don't think). So, it's really hurtful for me to hear I didn't make it because the message I'm getting is "Your best isn't good enough".

I'm quite depressed at the moment and I'm on the verge of crying. This whole experience is helping the depression that I'm fighting against gain ground and strength against me. I have a tiny ray of hope in the horizon but it's so bleak and hard to see it's hard to believe it's even really there. My old shop might be opening up again under new management and if so I have possibly scored a job again but this doesn't help me deal with my new realization: My very best isn't always good enough. I always thought I could do anything if I put my mind to it but now I realized I can't and it's a very emotional time for me as I try to assimilate this information.

Thanks guys and take care.