Today has been a better day than yesterday. My mood has been higher than the last few days despite being home all day (usually a disaster for my mood). An interesting thing happened today which threw me off guard. As some of you may know there is a girl that I am kinda interested in. Whilst I haven't made any direct moves, my indirect moves have gone unnoticed (or I didn't initiate, which is more likely but more details to follow). I'm the kind of man who doesn't like risks (because I don't like rejection) so I generally don't take action unless things are crystal clear to me. Anyways, this girl has on a couple of occasions shown interest in me. Me being the daft idiot that I am did not realize until afterwards.

The prime example is this: One time she comes by my shop (I worked within a mall) on a Friday afternoon and says hello. She tells me she was on her way to the gym and thought she'd drop by. I ask her how she's going and all that and she tells me she's doing fine and then tells me she had plans in the evening with some friends but they cancelled. I told her that was a shame. Then began a long awkward silence and then we switched the conversation quickly before returning to her reiterating that her friends cancelled and she was doing nothing in the evening. I once again told her how much that must have sucked. Another long awkward silence and then she said that'd be great if we caught up some time and I said it sounds good.

Afterwards I was like OMFG. Did this really happen? I posted here just to make sure and my suspicions were confirmed. On top of this several friends of mine are like "There's chemistry between you two". I'm a bit like WTF? I barely talk to her. I'm a bit like Koothrappali from The Big Bang Theory. I've never had a girlfriend and as far as I'm aware I've never had a girl show interest in me (besides some really fucked up incidents I don't want to get into or remember ). I'm really shy around people until I get use to them (an introvert, what can I say?) and this is magnified around women most of all. If I'm around a girl I really like I can't even breath properly and start sweating profusely. One time this really hot girl was flirting with me to help her do something (I realized this but I didn't care) and I thought I was going to pass out. Anyways, this all goes to show you the background of the situation.

So, I then messaged her afterwards suggesting we do something and she said that sounded great and then nothing happened. Admittedly, I probably should have followed up but a lot of things were happening on her end at the time anyways which have only kinda cleared up the last couple weeks. This lays the path for today's incident.

I get a facebook message a couple of hours ago from her updating me on something going on her life that has now freed up a lot of time for her and we should meet up tomorrow, she also asks for my number. I reply back saying it sounds good and I give her my number. She catches me on facebook chat and asks if I got her message, I tell her yes and that I replied back. She suggests we meet up and that a friend of ours is finishing work up early tomorrow and he can join us. At this point I'm thinking "Oh, okay, it's just a friendly meet up amongst friends. Nothing more than that. That's cool" but she then quickly states before I reply that instead of doing that, we could just meet up by ourselves (not explicitly stated, but implied). I say sounds good we organize the details and it's all done.

Now I am all confused. I don't mind the situation either way, whether it be a "she's interested and because I haven't done anything so far she's gone the extra mile and basically asked me out" or the "hey we're just friends meeting up" scenario. What I don't like is not knowing which it is. I'm fairly sure it's the former but I don't want to act on that and get the whole "No, no, no..I didn't mean anything like that, we're just friends.." chat. As with most things I have done in life, I'm going to try to wing this and see how we go. It'll be interesting nevertheless I guess.

Thanks and take care peoples!