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Back In Church


roadrunner

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So I'm back in a new church now (for my family's sake; I've explained this i the past) but its different. I have a new identity. Im the thinker/doubter. I enjoy this role. While I havent said Im an atheist ( yeah I flaked out.....but everyone was so happy to see us and they assumed we were saved and we all played along) , I have voiced that I have serious doubts. I dont bite my tongue anymore. If something sounds wrong or stupid i speak up and they seem to encourage it. (WHAT?!?!!) Being back in church I am able to go back and see why I lost my faith. I forgot my journey but being back in church and seeing the mindset it all is coming back to me. And it crazy to see it now from my perspectve. Science it great when it affirms the bible, otherwise its a waste. The meteor in russia should have been enough for people to say "....Geez, god sure could have cleaned up some of these extra parts he left around the solar system so no one gets hurt". Looking at the world I see NO ONE IS WATCHING OUR BACK. and its painful to hear these weak minded people speak. not "weak" in a bad way but kind of. they think they are nothing without this. they have testimonies, stories, and my suspicion that the most vulnerable take the biggest hold on religion. They sing about how he's a father to the fatherless, heals the sick, etc and people buy it hook line and sinker. They really think they are helpless and they aren't. These people are slaves.

 

I dont sing anymore, I watch how crafted the sermons are and how people percieve them. I watch as people get ready then 3, ,2,1 stand and give god the glory. its the same people and what benefit is raising your arms and opening your hands? Thats the stupidest thing ever. Those are not satellites receiving a signal and the difference in reception is negligible with your hands raised as opposed to hands down. Everything just lloks so STUPID. Im glad I see it this way now. I gaurd my family from bs. They see me as the poor sport but i am raising freethinkers

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I'm in a similar boat right now in that several people know about my doubts and I am in observation mode, but I am not really speaking up in sunday school. Why not? Probably because we are about to move and after that I won't be going to church any more. Also, the people have been really good to me and my family, even after my deconversion became semi-public, and I don't want to come off as rude or disrespectful to these nice folks. I know that nothing I say is going to make a difference to them anyway. Maybe I should, though...

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Free-thinkers for the win!!!!  Good job!  I haven't yet re-attended church after my de-conversion so I can't relate to the experience but I'm sure it's a trip.

 

You're right!  Nobody is watching our back. To claim someone, high in the sky cares about us when tragedy happens daily is naive and prideful and doesn't say much for the god they serve.  They're naive and self-centered.  And if their god does operate that way...  Well, then it's very obvious Romans 2:11 is incorrect.  Because saving some while others experience tragedy is outright favoritism. 

 

But we know the bible is bullshit.  They don't.  Somehow protecting some while others suffer isn't a display of favor.  Mmmm, okay.

 

So yeah, anyway, raise them free-thinkers!  The world needs more of them... Lots more!  :)

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