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Genesis Part 1




I am reading the OT to remind me how stupid the bible is. I am sharing some comments and questions with you.

Let's see how far I get.


1.- 3. Creation

God creates stupid humans and punishes them for their desire for knowledge.The proclaimed punishment turns from "though shall surly die" to labor pain, the rule of men over women (3:16), cursed grounds and hard work

- well that escalated quickly.

After they got kicked out God didn't destroy the now useless (?) tree.Instead he made a cool flaming sword and some poor cherubims are probably still standing there and protecting the tree.

4.- Cain and Abel

Cain kills his brother Abel, because his holy daddy likes him more than Cain. God gets super-mad and Cain is worried:

"Behold, thou hast driven me out this day from the face of the earth; and from thy face shall I be hid; and I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth; and it shall come to pass, that every one that findeth me shall slay me." (4:13)

Wait,what? Who is Kain afraid of? I though there were just Adam, Eve and his dead brother and probably some baby girls that don't deserve to be mentioned.

It gets even more confusing:And the LORD said unto him, Therefore whosoever slayeth Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And the LORD set a mark upon Cain, lest any finding him should kill him.

What is sevenfold death? Does it mean that six of the killers family members will die, too? Well, the killers family has to be Cains,too. What a comfort to know that if your nephew (which is probably also your brother-in-law) kills you, six other of your incest family die with him.

5. Family tree

Good that the bible is inspired by god and we only get useful information from it.

6-8 Giants and the flood

From the first verses we learn:

sons of god (angels?)+ pretty women= GIANTS. Must be very painful to give birth to them... Why aren't there giants anymore? Are we women not attractive anymore,angels ?

So god decides he should reset his creation, but instead of just snapping his fingers and let it happen he need water and Noah has to do a lot of hard work.After reading the flood story I have only one question: What about the giants?

I want to know more about them and not on which day the arc landed on a mountain. Why were they mentioned anyway?

9. Food and booze

"Everything that lives and moves will be your food. I gave you green plants as food; I now give you everything else." (9:3)

WHAT? They weren't allowed to eat meat before the flood? Why was Able a shepherd? And why was his offering better than Cains if sheep were useless to him?

In my (german) translation of the bible it says that Noah was the first that planted a vineyard. So before the flood there was no steak and no booze, a lot of incest and a average lifetime of 300-900. That sucks.



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I thought "God" only got pissed off at Cain because of the sacrifice he gave him. He likes the smell of burning animal flesh better than the smell of burning produce.

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Or he liked to watch men suffer. Watch Abel inhale the smell of the delicious grilled lambs, that men weren't allowed to eat. zDuivel7.gif  Cains sacrifices hadn't had that effect.

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