It's been about two years now that I've been talking to dad before I go to sleep. Which wouldn't be a weird thing except the fact that dad's dead and has been dead my whole life. Before I started these "interactions" with my father it used to be biblegod I would "speak" to. After finding out that biblegod is a sadistic maniac we could no longer be buddies. Sometimes it seems like dad interacts back with me, or maybe I'm crazy, but I do believe in the supernatural and perhaps a psychic connection still exists. This happens when I go to the library and wander around and then seem to be "led to" a certain book or movie that turns out to be really deep and meaningful to my life. It almost seems that I was supposed to pick out that particular one. I usually pick out books or movies based on the front cover not knowing what they're going to be about. Some covers speak louder than others so I pick those. I usually get Native American history or biography, or science fiction or young adult.

It was just a couple years ago I started having dreams about my family being together. You guys know that mum and dad are dead for many years now. It's been great though to have something of an experience of them in dreams and to see how we would have been like as a family. In my dreams mum looks quite a lot like I do, acts like me too. Dreams give me a chance to interact with mum as adults together which is pretty interesting. We have quite a bit of cat fights actually but I enjoy it anyways. It's the closest thing I've had to seeing her. She always tells me that I was the one who was gone, not her. Once when I saw her in a dream she called me a new name, When-You-Were-Taken. So you see from her perspective she has been the one at "home" and I've been the one missing. From my perpective of course it was mum and dad who were taken away and I was left. She usually seems a bit sad about our separation but doesn't get too emotional about it, but I'm the emotional one.

If they are alive still it seems that they are quite interested in shaping me as a person and in my education. They were regal people like Mufasa and umm.. Mrs. Mufasa of the Lion King, always elegant and respectable. Here in the absence of religious beliefs and the guidance of a holy book I find through dreams, books, and movies and perhaps even the ghosts of my parents, the guidance I need towards becoming a successful and good hearted person.