Being overweight sucks. I don't particularly feel disgusted with myself being overweight. I don't feel like I'm a piece of shit being overweight and I never realized some people feel that way about overweight people until fairly recently in the scheme of things. I hate it because it makes life harder for myself and I worry about dying at an early age or getting really really bad side effects.
What does annoy me about myself is that I am wanting to lose weight, but I have done nothing but gain it over the last few years. It makes me so angry with myself that I don't have the self discipline to lose it. I wish it was just an on/off switch - yes, I'd like to turn motivation on and leave it on permanently thank you.
I have a lot of weight to lose to be in a somewhat health range (> 30 pounds) and I really do want to lose it, but on the other hand I evidently have not lost it. I really don't know what to do to force my stupid brain to make me fight to lose the weight for a healthier life. It's nothing that any outside forced can really help me do unfortunately, I just need to figure out how to make me comply.