Not mine. But a good Christian friend's. The first time I am praying and not fully believing that anyone was listening. This was in the middle of my deconversion and I wasn't ready to tell anyone yet. I also broke up with my Christian girlfriend a few days after this. It was for reasons other than faith, but when I asked her if she could ever be with me now that I wasn't a Christian, simply because I wasn't a Christian, she said no.
Shortly after this I felt liberated and had one of the happiest years of my life studying for my Masters in London, experiencing a thousand new and exciting things that I had previously denied myself, and learning a huge amount about the real world and the real people that inhabit it. Then I was plunged into a period of depression and existential angst when I began to question what the point of life was without God and began missing my time as a believer.
I have now all but recovered from that thanks in part to this site, but also to music, science, art, literature, politics, therapy, philosophy, honesty, integrity, courage, friendship, sex, sports and humour, all in differing amounts depending on my mood, and not always in the combinations you'd expect. I'm still learning and getting better every day, and enjoying every minute of it. Most of all, I know I wouldn't trade what I have now for religion any day. It's just not worth it kids. Reject the poisoned chalice. Long live Christopher Hitchens. Long live thinking and questioning for yourself.