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  2. Matt Dillahunty and Phil Session. 2019 AA Convention. This episode was recorded April 20th at the American Atheists Convention in Cinn. OH. View the full article
  3. Today
  4. I cannot say with any certainty what you can/should do. That being said, I would suggest you strongly consider not getting involved with a Christian nutter, regardless of whether you knew her before, are attracted to her now, have an opportunity to get involved, are having issues with your wife, wanting to relive a lost past that never was, or for any other reason. You have more than two choices...many more.
  5. Well, much of what biblical historians deal with is not truth, but probabilities, possibilities and uncertainties, and for Biblical scholars such as Ehrman, who uses textual criticism methodology coupled with internal bias mitigation, the result is certainly interesting as well as refreshing. Have you read his book I referenced, Jesus Before the Gospels: How the Earliest Christian Remembered, Changed and Invented Their Stories of the Savior?
  6. Thanks Dan. Nope never tried online dating. Im in no rush to get romantically involved with anyone else Yes it struck me as an odd thing for her to say
  7. So sorry to here all these sad and frieghtening thought and feelings you are having shydelight. Sweden! It is the last place I would think of to be having to deal with the Christian cult but there you are. First off I like dealing with things one at a time. In your case I think that is this depression. Why not leave concerns about where the marriage is going on the back burner for now and try to resolve the major disruption in your life, depression. I agree with Fuego that your therapist needs to address anything you feel like addressing or you need to move on to someone else. You don't need to be thinking about how your therapist feels about discussing any topic. You absolutely should read Marlene Winells book Leaving to Fold as it will help you understand how very psychologically damaging the Christian cult can be and help you find ways to cope with that damage. You're a very bright person and we need you so do hang in there with us. As MOHO said much better things are comming for you once you get the depression under control. If your husband says disturbing things to you maybe try to get him to back off by pointing out that these other issues are too much for you right now and that you need to focus on recovery from your depression that after you acomplish that you can discuss those religious concerns. I would think you could have better luck finding a non believing friend or two in Sweden than in many other countries so maybe you could join some Meetup (or similar) with people who have a shared interest and then only hang with non believers. Definitely stay with us for a while and maybe comment here and there. Marlene will do Skype and other things that don't involve travel so don't hesitate to contact her if you want to discuss anything in her area of expertise. Very glad to have you here!
  8. Yesterday
  9. I'll be honest sometimes it feels like ehrman really stretches the truth
  10. If she tells you she is at a crossroads in her faith then that is an opening for you to ask her what she means. If you want any relationship with her you will have to discuss her faith and all that comes with that. It is a peculiar remark to make for someone who is so god driven in her day to day life. Maybe she is having some doubts? Anything is possible.
  11. Just curious Bazz99 but have you ever tried filling out one of those incredibly detailed forms and giving the online dating thing a whirl? It is a modern wonder of our times after all and they would never match you wih a fundamentalist evangelical and there are some really terrific non believers out there. Whatever you do be careful because falling in love only last a finite amount of time and all the rest of those years together it will really matter about how many things you have in common. Not saying this love interest you presently have doesn't possibly still have tons in common with you I'm just saying look carefully because the odds are probably against it. If your possible love interest does allow you to do some conditional dating you still should possibly still consider filling out those forms and see who they recommend you go out with.
  12. Thankyou so much Dan for your considered reply. You are totally right, im a fish outta water here and have no real understanding of what im up against
  13. Thanks Geezer for your reply. I hear all that you are saying. She did say the last time i saw here that she feels at a crossroads in her faith...whatever that means?
  14. MOHO knows what he is talking about on this subject whereas I have learned whatever I have based on reading on this site. If you totally want to persue this relationship I would suggest addressing the elephant in the livingroom. You have two ways to go. You can answer her prayers and get saved and try living the Christian life but unless this really appeals to you we would not suggest it because we found it as pretty much a complete obstruction to living our lives honestly and well. No matter what you do it would be good for you to read at least something on how this cult operates both from someone who loves it and from someone who doesn't (maybe Reasonable Faith by William Lane Craig and The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins for example). I know this is massively boring but better to enter in prepared if that is what you choose to do. The second option may or may not be open to you and that would be persuading her to enter into an unequally yoked marriage (like MOHO and a respectable number of other on this site have wound up with). I would say that the only way you could get this to fly at all would be by saying something like although Christianity didn't seem very true to you you are madly in love with her and therefore would be willing to attend church with her and see what it's all about. What's best about this second option is that you won't need to throw your sanity out the window right away. As I say this it does sound like a pretty dicy proposition as she will try for a trial church courtship before committing to a marriage. However that would probably get your foot in the door to see if there really are any prospects of a relationship and clearly be a much better idea than jumping into a marriage blindfolded.
  15. Born again Christians do not think logically or rationally nor do they respond to evidence that challenges their “beliefs”. They believe historians and scientist are controlled by Satan, so therefore everything they say is the Devil speaking through them to deceive believers so the Devil can steal their souls. I have found it virtually impossible to have an intelligent conversation with a born again Christian fundamentalist. They are part of a cult and therefore only respond to other cult members. The only possible way this woman could ever be romantically interested in you would require you to become a member of her fundamentalist cult, but because the only scriptural divorce fundamentalist recognize is one based on adultery. And since both of you are divorced both divorces would have had to be based on adultery for the church to accept them as scriptural. Otherwise you both both would be living in sin and that would be unacceptable. I see little or no hope that you two will ever be able to have a romantic relationship again.
  16. Thanks MOHO you have a wonderful sense of humour and I really appreciate all that you have taken the time to say Oh and how did you know I had an eyeball in centre of my forehead?
  17. It sounds like you may need a new therapist. Her likes or dislikes aren't why you are seeing her, as if you were her therapist. You need to be able to unload the tremendous emotional pressure that comes from both the religion (and the people who think it is real) and the stress of your own imbalanced chemistry.
  18. xanity is Christianity. Not a of oft used shortcut I guess. Yes, it's common place for xtians to base decisions on prayer. All the time. Mrs. MOHO does not take a crap w/out praying and she CERTAINLY prays when I am in there. All the neighbors have HASMAT (Hazardous Materials Team) on speed dial. yes, it sux frozen canine pee pee's to lose a loved one and, you've heard this hundreds of times. but there really IS someone more suited to you. Perhaps hundreds of them. I mean, unless you have an eyeball in the middle of your forehead or something. The next one will not be a religious zealot and, hopefully, here folks will not be either. That's two strikes against the current Ex. OK then. Tomorrow's another day with a myriad of opportunity. Don't be sorry for the questions. That's kinda what this site is for. We've had a number of boyz and girlz lamenting losing a relationship to religion - especially funny mentalism - and I'll bet we've assisted several via the emotional support we offer. Well...maybe not me specifically. I'm kind of a smartastical dill weed. But there's other folks here who are actually smart.
  19. I reckon that eternal torment scare tactic is what drives some family members to put so much effort into realing us back in. It causes them much stress and worry and for no reason. This really pisses me off that the jackastical pulpit jockeys drum the fear into the flock with such conviction. That kind of shit is emotional abuse and , if I was not such a free speech advocate, I'd be petitioning the powers that be to outlaw it. Anyway, to answer your question, some xtians remain "friends" with us breath'n heathen types because they are compelled to by their doctrine. They are to wrangle us back into the fold in order to prove THEIR devotion and avoid the wrath of their mythical abuser. Others are just plain nice, decent folk and are genuinely wanting our friendship. Personally I think they justify away the belief in our fate.
  20. We all went through some tough times after throwing off the insane confines of harmful religion. Let me tell you IT GETS BETTER! Soon! The more you study, read extimonies, and let you mind chew on being out of the fold the happier you will be. And just because you eschewed Christianity does not mean you cannot believe in something out there in the cosmos or another dimension. You don't HAVE to be an atheist. I am...but that's me. Hang in there. Read some Dawkins, some Winnell, some Ehrman, some Hitchens, some Carrier. There's some good content on this site, aslo, that will ease your mind. - MOHO (Mind Of His Own)
  21. True. But when the German boy snuck food from the formal dinner table for the Jewish boy, he wasn't aware what fate awaited the Jewish boy. If you remember, his older sister was openly pro-Hitler and anti-Jewish (although it is not sure if she knew what fate awaited the people in the camps). But with her attitude it would be safe to say she wouldn't have befriended anyone from the camps. The reason for bringing this up is I kinda find it hard to understand, the more I study the religion, as to how a devout xtian would even want to be and maintain friendships with non believers when their doctrine teaches them that the non believers would be in eternal torment!
  22. Its certainly a very bitter pill to swallow, when the woman of your dreams falls in love with you, but god says no.
  23. Thankyou MOHO, for replying to me. As a novice Ive never heard of xanity, what exactly is that? I would be very poorly equipped to deal with any questions she would ever ask. Is it normal practise for born again fundys to always base their decisions in life on a prayer to god? Never making one on their own? And if they can hear these replies from god, what causes that, is it a form of mental illness? Sorry for all the questions guys
  24. Xianity will not destroy her life. It will change it, for sure, perhaps foul it up beyond recognition, bit I Think destroy is a bit harsh. Some people need the god virus and live a happy life thinking there is a higher being out there. Yes the fundy thing will negatively impact one's life. There's really nothing you can do unless she asks questions. Then you can certainly offer advise and I suggest you be prepared if she does. Studying xanity, and religion, will prepare your for that unlikely event and will also prepare you if someone else asks questions. Beyond that...move on. Continuing to see here will only cause hurt and pain for both of you.
  25. Thanks for the reply. Yeah I have left all channels of communication for her to contact me open. You guys know better than me, is there any chance she will snap out of it? I think I painted a bad picture of her as a party animal, truth is she was just doing what all teenagers do at a certain point. She was incredibly sweet and caring girl. Her parents loved me too, seen me as future son in law material, and they were equally upset when we broke up. However ofcourse these same carefree happy parents are in the same church. Fully entrenched. Heres the thing....I called at her house recently and she welcomed me in, she is still separated from her husband. We chatted, she made me dinner, hugged me, told me she still had feelings for me, but that her testimoney has not changed. I guess now its gone beyond my physical love for her, and I am now more concerned on a human level that this is going to destroy her life
  26. I discovered that I can listen to spotify without adds when I switch my vpn to Russia. This is a premium perk, but I am paying nothing. Is this wrong?
  27. Thanks for your replies.<3 I am seeing a therapist but we haven't actually made any progress in the "faith area" since she just doesn't seem to enjoy that topic. I don't think she is a believer, though. But I believe that alot of my depression I am experiencing right now comes from losing faith in the christian belief system, it's like the death of someone close to you... I haven't really figured everything out yet - how to relate to life in general. I would like to say I am an atheist, maybe I am. At least that is what I say to my christian relatives whenever the question pops up. I am quite certain I will not make reality of my suicidal thoughts, however, it hits me hard sometimes how strong the thoughts can be.
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