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  2. @SerenelyBlue Totally Off Topic is now found under the "Clubs" area of the forums. From Browse, go to Clubs, then to "Controversy and Conflict" and then click on the "Totally Off Topic" tab. Things have changed a little since you were last here, so it might be helpful to check out the overview and posting guidelines too. Hope you're doing well, SB.
  3. @shydelight, Talk to your therapist and tell him/her about your thoughts. Although we can listen we are not psychologists and are not in the profession. Please consult your therapist and, if you are having thoughts of hurting yourself, please make use of a hotline at your earliest convenience.
  4. People with fundamentalist beliefs can be toxic when it comes to mental illness, because they see it as demon-possession, or "the dark side" trying to get you. It is neither; it's a misfiring in the brain that can be controlled with medication and therapy to deal with the very real trauma that comes from frightening psychotic episodes. Have you reached out to your doctor? Sometimes suicidal ideas can be side effects of some medications and you might need to try a different medication. Or, perhaps your anti-depressant isn't working as well as it needs to and you need a new dosage or type. Whatever you do, don't give up hope. See your doctor, talk to a therapist, talk to us. You can work through this.
  5. Today
  6. Maybe I should also try to explain my current biggest problem... He thinks I am going to hell, and has told me so. He is not yelling at me, but defends every christian who has freakishly told me shit like "darkness is toying with you" or that I am struggling with dark powers ... I am so impatient. I just want him to leave christianity like I have done, maybe that is selfish but I just think that it holds people back from really living life as we are able to do - without the thought of SIN and punishment. Forgiveness, isn't even necessary - coming from a fake God... I just feel the hopelessness and anger stirring as I write. Shit, I feel like numbing my emotions with drugs but that wouldn't exactly make everything OKAY.
  7. This seems to be the crux of the Ex-C life. We always wonder if there is a magic key that will cut through the programming of religion, and will undo both the myths and the person's unwillingness to question. Is there anything we can do or say to trigger it in others? This religion emphasizes belief as super important for survival, and I've heard it said that once the brain is convinced of a survival-level thing, it becomes by nature something that is very difficult to un-believe (since such belief is a mechanism of evolution needed for survival). Then add to it the tribal inclusion that often happens with new believers, and the sense that there is now real magic, a purpose to life, joining Hogwarts, a real god that hears my prayers and has promised to answer, and there is strong motivation to find out exactly how to please this god and fit in with the others. Those are all very basic goodies to the human psyche, even years after they are obviously not actually really working. The hope that they someday will all perfectly happen is enough carrot to keep most people going, AND to fend off things that would seem to rob them of the promised paradise and love and answered prayers and and and and and... It takes that internal change, perhaps an error-checking program of sorts, that raises a red flag and says "This really doesn't make any sense. What about ____? And what about _____?" That seemingly small correction is the thing we want to create in others, and that seems to darn elusive. It gets past the mental defenses because it seems to come from inside and is therefore trusted at some level. I keep hoping that there is a way we haven't yet discovered that will consistently trigger it.
  8. Hey, chocolate is a vegetable. Chocolate comes from beans. Beans are a vegetable. Therefore chocolate is a vegetable. Eat your vegetables!
  9. I am not an unpleasant person, I just get worked up when called a troll.
  10. That is Hinduism....where they say everyone is born pure and divine!
  11. I want to talk about a topic that has nothing to do with ex Christianity, but I don't know where to post it. What do I do?
  12. I find power in knowing reality itself and developing the power to manipulate reality. "A really intelligent man feels what others only know." - Baron de Montesquieu In knowing the truth about Christianity, you not only know - but feel - the absence of the all-loving, all-knowing, all-powerful creator that loves you, wants a relationship with you and has a pre-ordained plan for your life. You feel the infinite vacuum that this left. Or, do you feel the opposite - the potential for absolute power, over yourself, over life, over reality... After all, now you have all the freedom on the world to break all of the rules. Why not have some willing sex slaves? After all, Leviticus spells out just how one should properly treat a slave! Do not abridge your ambitions; unleash them. Do not let the pain get the best of you. Do not let them win. Fuck them. Fight. By the alchemy of your neurology, convert your pain into a reason or reasons to pursue a goal or set and series of goals. Consider these goals - and the planning of and execution of the action steps necessary to accomplish these goals - as waging war. Make no mistake about it. When I say fight, I mean declare war against all of the fuckin' bullshit that caused you so much pain. Be specific. Trace the pain from actions to nouns: Who did what... and what the fuck are you going to do about it? Fight, but do not fight on your knees - leave that for the cowards too scared to fight their own battles; leave the mystical groveling to the hypocrites unwilling to practice what they preach, to the self-righteous bible thumpers pontificating about God's word - yet have never read the bible. For you, fighting on your knees appears to be wasting your time on low level actions beneath you. Fight - not on your knees - but on your feet. "Is it better to out-monster the monster or to be quietly devoured?" Friedrich Nietzsche Don't let Christianity quietly devour you, nibbling away at the one and only life you will ever have. Success is the best revenge, so out-monster the fuckin' monster. Oh, by the way - Happy "Resurrection Day," a day of celebration and revelry for self-righteous cunts everywhere. Why not metaphorically and symbolically use this day to end your days of suffering. Rise up, defeat the religion of death, and in doing so be more "Christ-like" than any fake and phony Christian.
  13. A major problem in determining the historical accuracy of scripture and the Christian faith is that writings prior to the second century have been lost and or destroyed. Therefore, there are no eyewitness recordings of anything. All the “evidence” that exists is hearsay and therefore unreliable. Based on the information available I lean towards the probability that it is more likely, rather than less likely, that the Gospel story is just that....a fictional story and that would make the characters in that story fictional too. I think that also applies to Paul and his Epistles. The real authors of the Epistles created Paul as their fictional author. The surviving evidence suggest that Marcion and Simon Magus created the Christian religion using the fictional Gospel story as their inspiration. Marcion’s Churches were originally the most popular Christian Church until the Catholic Church excommunicated him. And when Christianity became the official religion of the Roman Empire the Catholic Church ruled unopposed for centuries building up tremendous wealth and power. I think the probabilities indicate Christianity is based on a mythical story, with a mythical God/man hero, that came to save the world, and thanks to the Roman Empire it remains the most popular religion in the world today.
  14. Hi everyone. I am really hesitant about writing here but really need to hear words from someone else than my christian family as my mental health now is declining. This could be long, but I'll try to keep it short . I was raised in Sweden. Still live here, only now I am almost 30 and married with a christian man and we have 1 child. My parents were christians and went to a pentecostal church, when I was 8 they divorced. My mother was so sick of life she wanted to commit suicide. She was ignored by the church, and "lost" her faith in the "churchGod". What she defines as now I don't know, but she resents going to meetings and her new husband is an agnostic/atheist. I had a short period in my life during 15-17 when I really didn't give a shit about God (somehow still believed in it though) and I was "rebelling". I tried drugs, had sex, cussed (!!!!) but I was also experiencing mental illness such as depression and self harm. I was really a hippie and experimented with magic mushrooms. One day I went - tripping - to a christian metal concert and "met Jesus" and somehow (can't believe this is my life as I am typing - sounds like a shit novel) it stuck to me and I became a "REAL CHRISTIAN" again and was baptised.... I lost many friends due to me being an ass (total jesusfreak). Today I have none. Well, my life with "god" has been shit. Totally saturated with guilt and hate. I went as a volunteer to Asia with a missionary and spent almost 3 months there just because I thought God wanted me there. I was desperate for a prayer answered or SOMETHING. Then I was hit by a psychosis and was hospitalized for some time. I met my husband when I was recovering from my psychosis. I don't have anything bad to say about him - he loves me and has never intentionally hurt me (unlike some men have before). We married, I got pregnant, - was hit by a giant psychosis while pregnant. 4 people had to hold me down and force medication into me. Wasn't that funny, though I don't really remember much. I am still at home 2 years later, can't work or anything. I am on medication for my mental illness and am currently suffering from a really nasty depression... as I this winter discovered that I had lost my faith in Jesus as the son of God. It just hit me. I try to stay positive but it feels like hell (haha) as I can't talk as freely about my thoughts on life with my husband. We have discussed divorce but I cry at the mere thought of losing him. Any tips on... anything? Thoughts? I struggle with thoughts of suicide as hell doesn't scare me from doing it anymore, but still, I love my son and have dreams of one day having the love of my life as close to me as he was when we were newly wed. We have been married for only 4 years but known eachother before that. I just know that I love him and divorce is not the solution to my problem with the sadness I am feeling right now. I try to keep living but yeah, am sick of all the "i'll pray for you"-mentality that surrounds me...
  15. Just a note, all scholars do not accept that Paul was a real person. The Fabricated Paul by Hermann Detering & The Colossal Apostle by Robert M Price are two examples of scholarly works that question whether the Apostle Paul was a real person. I think both noted authors present a strong case for Paul being a literary character. The alternative is that Marcion and Simon Magus wrote the Pauline Epistles and were the real creators of Christianity. Obviously the mentioned books would have to be read to become familiar with the evidence they present and then the reader will have to decide for themselves.
  16. Mike, i never did understand how my story became an attachment. Hopefully you will consider it ordered and well written after you have read it. The version attached here is a many times edited story over about 15 years. I even have another revision since this one was posted. Best wishes in writing your story.
  17. Awwww. You guys are all so sweet!! But the truth is I got all this 'wisdom' from reading all of the posts and advice from the members throughout the years and you guys are all part of that!! You've all helped me so much! So we all need to write a book together!! Lets' do it! We'll call it, ''The Ex-c Book of Wisdom''!! Don't forget to eat some chocolate tomorrow!! Happy Bunny Day!! ((hugs)) to every one of you!
  18. Bart Ehrman wrote about oral traditions and focused, somewhat scientifically, on human memory in a few chapters. He was surprised when he had found very little written about the accuracy and fallibility of the human memory as applied to oral traditions. The book is: Jesus Before the Gospels: How the Earliest Christian Remembered, Changed and Invented Their Stories of the Savior It's a rather good read and a bit more accessible than many of his other books.
  19. I have been thinking about this movie - The Boy in the Striped Pajamas. Have you seen this movie? If you have, here is a question for you - Before they met, if the German kid knew who the Jew kid was and what fate awaited the Jew kid; would the German kid still befriend and maintain a friendship with the Jew kid?
  20. The Non-Prophets 18.08 with Denis Loubet, Jamie Boone & Kevin Stein View the full article
  21. Yesterday
  22. I really agree with this. When I joined I thought @florduh was a little harsh in his approach to dealing with xtians in some ways. But now, no I wouldn't have it any other way.
  23. The problem with that is that oral traditions were needed before those hearing and remembering such things could read or write. I'm sure you could imagine how something that has passed though 15-30 generations could change over time if there was no other way to record it other than memory. And of course some could add to or delete some of the story to keep it logically consistent with the beliefs of the religion which might change over time.
  24. You are doing the best you can. That is what I tell myself, over and over and over.
  25. They seem to be referring to one guy who has one article in the book "Dynamics of Tradition: Perspectives on Oral Poetry and Folk Belief" but, unfortunately, I haven't yet found a bookseller that has a preview so I don't know anything about what is being said. It just seems that the author of this article is lifting his argument from a couple jesus is really, real sort of books since they seem to be the only ones to cite this particular guy. Jawaharlal Handoo seems to have done a lot of work with folk tales in India but I can't seem to find any indication that any work has been done with any work in other areas or if this work even applies to other areas. Other cultures may have worked entirely differently. mwc
  26. But the article quotes anthropologists who say that the people telling oral traditions dedicate themselves to keeping it historically accurate
  27. @Weezer, I haven’t been able to read your testimony in the format you posted yet; I have an iPad I use most of the time and it doesn’t have the software necessary to open your document, have to wait and get on a desktop to read. But I have followed all your responses to the comments here and I just want to say that, when I get around to writing my testimony my thoughts will be as ordered and well-written as yours.
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