Ocd (obsessive-compulsive Disorder) And Other Anxiety Disorders: A Discussion

[Ameen]

More than one person has asked about my references to OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder); instead of answering in other threads that people who need help might not find, I cut and pasted everything I have written about the subject here on ex-Christian.net and combined it all into one post. Since OCD is in the thread's title, everyone will be able to find it.

 

Although I am a 43-year-old gay atheist who teaches English as a Second Language, I do volunteer work with OCD and, since 2004, have posted advice to a mostly heterosexual teen and twentysomething/largely Christian crowd on a site called Brainphysics. (There are also atheists, members of non-Christian religions, gays, and older folks there.) The board is paid for and run by Dr. Monnica T. Williams, a conservative Christian who is a behavior therapist and OCD specialist. She and I do not see eye to eye on everything, but we work together well and have mutual respect. That she trusts a gay atheist and does not try to limit what I tell people says a lot about her. (I am very graphic and honest when people with sexual obsessions ask for advice, and I know that many Christians would not approve of what I say. She thinks it is important to help people. Period.)

 

Monnica has never been not my therapist; I have been out of therapy for years, but when I was in therapy I saw someone else. Nevertheless, she practices the type of CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) and exposure exercises that helped me.

 

So... Although I am neither a therapist nor a medical professional, I can offer advice as a layman who has been through the horrors of OCD and has done very well with short-term behavior therapy and medication. I can talk about what OCD is and is not and, for those considering treatment for themselves or others, address issues about behavior therapy and medication. I cannot make a diagnosis or treat symptoms, but I can explain confusing issues and act as a sounding board. Finally, since I have worked with people who have both OCD and another disorder (bipolar disorder, ADD, borderline personality disorder, etc.) I know a little about these other issues and have also read books by professionals about them. I do not know nearly as much about them as I do about OCD, but at the very least, I can point you in the right direction for professional treatment.

 

If you want to ask me a question, please don't be embarrassed. In private messages about sex and OCD sent to me, I really have heard it all--including things I did not think anatomically possible.

 

My own OCD has always been far more focused on obsessions than compulsions; others are more focused on complusions while many (most?) are equally focused on both. I divide my own symptoms into major and minor forms. The minor ones (minor only because of duration of an episode, not because of intensity) fall into two groups: ROCD (relationship OCD) and my health: I became convinced I had everything from early onset Alzheimer's to multiple hernias to heart disease to cancer... And when one doctor said I did not have Disease X I tried to prove him or her wrong by seeing another. Ya know, most people would be happy not to have a deadly disease and would not be trying to prove that they did... $$$, unfortunately.

 

My worst OCD obsessions have always been about extremist religion/morality ("Scrupulosity," for those who have gone through it) and natural disasters--especially hurricanes/floods and earthquakes. I suffered a bit of a relapse after Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans since the images in the media were so horrible, but I knew how to deal with it and recovered. Had I not known what to do largely because it is what I tell others to do, it is possible that today, three and a half years later, I might still be incapacitated by OCD and those images.

 

For a brief time, before I started handling my relapse proactively by going back on medication and doing exposure exercises and cognitive behavior therapy, I could not eat any seafood, listen to jazz music, hear even the most positive thing about the Gulf region, and so on without triggering undescribable OCD anxiety that flatlined all positive emotions and made my body quake with terror. When I am in that state I exist; I don't live. The simplest life functions become difficuly. I had thought all that was behind me, as I had beaten OCD and had lived virtually OCD free for a long time. If anything, I turned it into a learning exercise for the people on Brainphysics, posting about what I was doing to bring OCD back under control so that they would see that I practiced what I preached and really was as deep in OCD as they. (As you get to know me on this board, you will see that I hide little.)

 

This is also the effect religious extremism had on me--and why it was so hard for me to break from religion (and also come out of the closet!). Like many people with Scrupulosity (religious OCD), I was attracted to extremism's black and white rules even as it terrified me with fears of eternal punishment and a ferocious, hateful god.

 

Cut and pasting...

 

--------------------------------------------------------------

 

OCD exacerbated the issues I had with the conservative Presbyterian church I was raised in and the Fundamentalist cult (the late Herbert W. Armstrong's Worldwide Church of God) I later joined. Even today, with my OCD mostly under control, I must deal with a lot of intrusive, unwanted thoughts with religious imagery (read that as condemnation and going to hell). Christians would say that it is the cross I have to bear; I say it is the totally random lot I drew in life, one made harder by so many Christians' insensitivity and intolerance.

 

I have read in a number of places that a disproportionate number of OCD sufferers enter extremist religion. Some people even link Puritan preachers, Martin Luther (the German, not Mr. King), and a number of others to OCD. In addition, either Luther or Saint Augustine (I forget which) has also been linked to chronic constipation, making us wonder what he was really talking about when he described the pains of hell...

 

On Brainphysics I deal mostly with a specific type of OCD that I have never had: "Homosexual OCD," which makes people obsess 24/7 that they are a different sexual orientation (heterosexuals falsely fear they are gay, gays falsely fear they are straight, bisexuals falsely fear they are monosexual, asexuals falsely fear they will look for sex...) This may only make sense to you if you are familiar with OCD. About 95% of the folks I deal with are straight, maybe three quarters of them male. Sometimes it gets so bad that the person stops functioning and needs to be hospitalized.

 

My article on this type of OCD is written from a male perspective since the bulk of sufferers are heterosexual males, but there are plenty of straight women with this issue also. If you would like more information on this type of OCD or would like a little insight on my own OCD issues with natural disasters and extremist religion, you can check out my article, "I'm Gay and You're Not: Understanding Homosexuality Fears," here: http://www.brainphysics.com/yourenotgay.php That is the article a few professionals have contacted me about. I wrote it in 2005.

 

It's also mentioned on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_obsessions (A behavior therapist I know put a link to my article there.)

 

I also know of two wonderful on-line articles about this type of OCD by well-known American behavior therapists (Steven Phillipson and Fred Penzel): http://www.ocdonline.com/articlephillipson7.php and http://westsuffolkpsych.homestead.com/am_i_gay.html

 

Nevertheless, there is still a lot of ignorance on this matter even in the therapeutic community, and horror stories abound.

 

I should mention that there are other anxiety-based disorders, in particular GAD, where false gay fears can be a problem. Usually, treatment is the same regardless of which disorder it is. Treatment: http://www.brainphysics.com/therapy.php

 

If you go exploring on Brainphysics... I post as Mark there and as Ameen here. My real name is Mark-Ameen Johnson. But please, do NOT confuse me with (ICK!) the gay New York poet Mark Ameen (no hyphen). He writes about sex with dead fish; I do not.

[Praxis_Of_Evil]

So..... If there is something OCD related that I wish to talk about, do I do it here? Or do I PM you? It's nothing x-rated, just really really really stupid obsessions and compulsions that range from checking the alarm clock, shutting the door to a specific width, brushing teeth with the same number of strokes on every tooth, fear of bacteria and subsequent psychologically induced burning sensation upon skin contact with said filth (ie: taking out the trash, fear of bathroom doorknobs, gum etc.)

The list goes on but it isn't really anything I'm embarrassed about.

 

And I don't really know much about what could have caused my OCD, but...perhaps you can enlighten me to that too. You say you understand CBT so maybe you can help change these patterns. I have managed to get over some things, like compulsive counting of stairs, avoidance of sidewalk cracks, etc...so, there is hope. I know these things are stupid and ridiculous, but I just can't help it....I also have a thing with symmetry and patterns....we could be here for days but I won't bore you with it now.

 

Talk to you soon.

[StewartP]

LOL! I saw this topic header and thought "oh, I must tell them about Ameen at Atheist Nexus"

 

Small world dude!

[Ameen]

@ StewartP: Hey there! It was someone on Atheist Nexus who had recommended this board to me. While I admire Nexus' boards-within-boards and sheer breadth, I just didn't feel connected to the Nexus crowd; there was not as much talk about personal experiences and recovery there as there is here. In addition, most of the threads I started--including ones for advice (like this one) got no responses. In contrast, look at the people here, who are truly softening me to the board.

 

After about two months on Nexus, I left it in early Januray of this year and joined this board instead. I was simultaneously on a Christian Recovery board, but that did not work out either since some people were not happy with a self-proclaimed "Born Again Gay Atheist" there. Nevertheless, I am currently engaged in sending and receiving private e-mails to/from three heterosexual Christian women--one in Pennsylvania, one in Texas, and one in Tennessee--who have left abusive Fundamentalism like me but are recovering through liberal Christianity instead of atheism. They completely accept my atheism, and two of the three completely accept my sexual orientation; the third has said I have given her a lot to think about and admits that love should not be discouraged simply because two men are attracted to each other and have no romantic or sexual feelings for women.

 

I mention all this because I have been getting more out of talking to these three women than I ever did any athiests on the Nexus. Part of the reason I started this thread here is my desire to have this type of conversation here, with atheists. I really want to connect with some, as the only atheist I am close to is my best friend--the one currently teaching overseas. I like these women, and they are sensitive enough to understand why I don't want to hear about Jesus--but I really, really, really want to talk to atheists too.

 

@ Praxis_Of_Evil: You are welcome to address me here or in private messages. There is little that phases me since people have discussed everything from what they do to their naked wives in bed (detail by detail, as if a gay man really wanted that much tits and ass) to how they have bowel movements (detail by detail, as if anyone ever wanted to know...)--and how all this relates to their OCD. There really is not much I have not heard at this point.

 

How you write to me depends on how you feel. If you want to discuss it privately, private messages are fine. Otherwise, discuss it on the board in case someone else has the same issues and can benefit from what we say.

 

The most effective way to get past OCD, no matter how deeply it is ingrained, is CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) with a good therapist (not a quack!) who specializes in or has extensive experience with OCD. Freudian psychoanalysis (traditional therapy) simply does not work with OCD even though it can help with other life issues. You may also need medication, or you may not. Each of us is different. With my prescriber's blessing, I maintain myself on only 25% of the dosage of Zoloft (an SSRI) that I once needed. I tried going off it but found that my OCD became too strong again. (Some people can go off and stay off medication, though.) The small dosage I am taking now is actually considered sub-therapeutic, but it takes enough of the edge off my symptoms, which allows me to do the rest myself via all that I learned in CBT. I prefer the lower dosage since I don't want to take anything more than I have to--and I have not needed a therapist in years.

 

How to choose a therapist who can help with OCD: http://www.ocfoundation.org/UserFiles/File...a-Therapist.pdf

 

What CBT does is slowly build new pathways in your brain. This will be an oversimplification: We OCD folks have defective brains; the mechanism that allows other people to get past horrifying thoughts does not work in our brain. All of humanity gets unwanted, intrusive thoughts and has small OCD tendencies, but our defective mechanisms turn what is simply an annoyance for others into an all-encompassing 24/7 state of anxiety and ritualistic behavior that makes us drive ourselves crazy. If we could simply stop doing what we do the way people with no OCD do, then we would not have a diagnosis of OCD. Why is OCD a major pain in the ass for us? It is a real disorder that we cannot master without help.

 

Here's a good 2002 New York Times article on how CBT builds new pathways in our brains and helps us master OCD: http://www.forensic-psych.com/articles/art...apy8.27.02.html

 

This is going to be another gross oversimplification, but I want you to see how CBT works. Basically, you work with a therapist to expose yourself little by little to each of the things that causes you so much trouble. Let's say, for example, that OCD made it impossible for you to ride in an elevator without having a major panic attack because it convinced you that riding in one even once would result in a fatal crash. You and your therapist might spend the first session simply looking at pictures of elevators in magazines and comparing colors, decor, rugs, and so on. Of course, that would produce only a little anxiety. At the next session the stakes would be raised, and you might talk about what riding in an elevator feels like. The next time you might walk to an elevator with your therapist and look at it, but nothing more. (If this is an OCD issue for you, that action will trigger much anxiety. You might have to repeat this step for a few weeks until you can tolerate the anxiety. All the while, you would be building new pathways in your brain for not panicking at the thought of an elevator; the old pathways, elevator = painful death, would begin to fall into disuse.)

 

During the next session, you might be asked to push the button and, when the doors open, walk into the elevator with the therapist. The two of you would probably walk out of it before it went anywhere. Next time, you and your therapist would have to ride up or down one floor. Then the next time the two of your would ride several floors. Then you would have to ride alone. At the end, you might even sit in the therapist's office and imagine yourself in a terrible elevator crash, all the while doing relaxation exercises.

 

Eventually, riding in elevators would become second nature to you even though they might still fill you with a little anxiety--but not with the overpowering anxiety they once filled you with.

 

The people I work with--the ones who falsely fear they are gay--work up to wearing "I am gay" t-shirts at home or looking through men's underwear magazines and choosing the three cutest models. I cannot put into words how much terror and how many tears this creates, but eventually they can do it with no problem. More than one has actually gone to a gay bar for half an hour with a gay person. (These people are straight, but they have to get over the fear.) I also make them watch gay music videos with scantily clad men. Sometimes, the first time they do this, they get so terrified that they can only watch the first ten seconds before they are close to hyperventilating. That's what OCD does.

 

I had to watch a lot of horrible stuff to get over my OCD issues with natural disasters, and eventually I also got to the point in my OCD issues with extremist religion (Scrupulosity) where I could log onto Fred Phelps' various God Hates Fags sites without instantly thinking I was going to Hell simply for being gay. It still makes me uneasy and always will, but I can handle it now.

 

Scrupulosity is probably an issue a few people on this board have dealt with. For this reason, I'll post a link to an excellent article on it by Steven Phillipson, Ph.D., Clinical Director for the Center for Cognitive-Behavioral Psychotherapy in New York City: http://www.ocdonline.com/articlephillipson10.php

 

Combatting compulsions works the same way as combatting obsessions. Here's some good information. Be sure to read all the information before you get to the self-help links at the bottom, after which you should use each of the links in order and read their information: http://www.anxieties.com/ocd-stop.php

 

Also remember:

 

You have to learn to starve your OCD, not feed it. Accepting that the thoughts are there and even agreeing with them (NOT because they are right but because you want to disarm them) helps tremendously. The thoughts are there because you have OCD, not because the thoughts are true, not because you are a terrible person, not because you have been given a cross to bear or a divine punishment, not because of bad karma, not because you are weak, not because you asked for them or brought them on yourself, not because you deserve them... You simply have OCD, and OCD, like any illness, has specific symptoms. Period.

 

Asking what caused OCD is pointless. Is it wholly nature (biology), wholly nurture (life experiences), or a combination? Most researchers say it is probably a combination, but no one knows what the formula might be--and in fact, it is probably different for each person. Behavior therapy is not so concerned with causes; rather, it is concerned with changing the way you react to OCD so that it no longer bothers you.

 

Anyway... This response is already too long, so let me stop here even though I have a lot more to say. Let me know how else I can help.

[Guest Perus32]

learning a lot here...good thread...not many responses.

[mwc]

Don't be too disheartened if you don't get a huge response. I know that people with OCD's come and go a lot around here...so if not now...soon enough.

 

I used to have a problem with OCD myself (got diagnosed maybe 20 years ago...give or take). I used to just think I was crazy. I didn't know what an OCD was. Didn't have an idea what any of this nonsense was. I was just fucked up. I liked to touch things (certain textures, certain ways and all that). I liked to count things (I still do this a bit). I liked pray a lot (this was especially a problem as part of my "demon" phase). I liked to combine things so that I could do things a certain number of times (it's like the counting and touching combined you see?). So touch something X number of times or walk a certain number of paces (like an even or odd number). Things like that. If I didn't I'd kind of "lose it." So I was a crazy person as far as I knew. And later I was "demon possessed" (well, I had "jesus" so I had a demon tormenting me and I couldn't shake the bastard).

 

Anyhow, I'm less effected by most of these now. I still count things but if I lose track I don't have to start over (and over and over and over). I still catch myself counting my steps too. Oh well. No big deal if it's even or odd anymore. I won't die. I think the meds for my migraines have helped a lot as did losing the pressures of religion before that. I simply just don't care anymore. If the world comes crashing down then that's fine. And, you know what? It hasn't. I don't know when it happened but I just stopped caring and that really was a lot to do with it. Unfortunately, I can't bottle it and give that away to others with OCD. I know what it's like to care about the most painfully silly things in life that don't matter...but do...to the utmost. For some reason if you lose count or don't touch that or think something "wrong" the world might literally go out of whack. I don't know when or how I lost the ability to care, because it was a great weight off my shoulders, but I wish that for others that have this.

 

mwc

[Llwellyn]

In my view, Christianity is essentially a case of OCD, in some cases it is mild, in others it is severely debilitating. Everytime a person considers the thought of Yahweh's hell and prays the sinners prayer in order to escape it, he has spent several seconds cogitating about things which are not real and bring anxiety. It is a cognitive distortion which provokes a behavioral response. The mind of the believer is spinning but getting no-where -- hence OCD.

 

Some of us experienced this very negatively, spurring us to deconvert, but the mental infection and useless cogitating is common to all Christians. Suckers.

[Loren]

Thank you, Ameen. Fortunately, I don't have to deal with this issue. But this thread is fascinating and informative. Before I came to ExC, I spent some time on one of the AOL boards called "Liberal Christians." Nice bunch of folks, many of them very intelligent and well educated. One of the members there was a gay man with OCD. He was one of the nicest guys you'd ever want to meet and deeply loved and supported by the board members. He was one of those people who don't have to work at it to try to be caring and compassionate; He just was. Compassion was his first reflexive response. His OCD was crippling enough that he was unable to hold a job, had to live with his mother and so on. Like you, he was courageously very open and honest about what kinds of things he was going through, good, bad and indifferent. It was heart-wrenching, but very educational.

 

One of things he lived with was obesity. Coming from my own background of spending years in the alcohol and drug recovery community, I saw a lot of aspects of masochistic self-punishment in his eating disorder, as well as, of course, the simple and common dynamic of over-eaters that food was a reliable friend that wouldn't reject him, was always there for him and so on.

 

But I also always wondered how much of his eating disorder wasn't also a matter of physical armoring, much like the armoring of a *great* many overweight women I've encountered in the recovery community whose extra body mass was a long-term response to having been sexually abused, usually as children.

[Loren]

I see Phanta posted at the same time I did, so I didn't see her response in time. Interesting that we'd both bring up the AD recovery stuff.

[mwc]

Have you heard of mild cases like this? Or do you think this could just be offshoot Tourettes issues? (No, I've not seen a doctor about it, as, in general, I do not consider it severe enough to warrant a visit.)

I have. I have that. I've mentioned more than once that I have Tourettes and now here's someone else. I have mostly muscle tics now but I've done the vocal tics (still do but I think it's less often...but then again I tend to be the last person to know I've said something sometimes ) and I've done the thing where you repeat stuff over and over (I forget the term right now). I've also got the obsessive thoughts deal but that is no longer considered Tourette's (it was when I was first diagnosed) and so I guess I should have mentioned that under OCD? (When I was first diagnosed with Tourette's the list of things seemed a mile long and now it's just the tics and a couple of other things so I'm not so sure what is what anymore.)

 

I do know there are other things besides Tourette's that can cause tics. You can look here (I think that bookmark is still good).

 

mwc

[Guest Perus32]

do you guys want to make it a threat where we can post our obsessions so we can get some reassurance when we really need it? I'm on other OCD forums but people aren't nearly as active there and it takes forever to get a response. We have a lot of people with OCD here, and even thought its not EX-Xstianity related, maybe it can still work?

 

If that's cool I'll start =)

 

i am getting closer to the victory as I'm seeing some short periods of time where i'm anxiety free, ocd free, and full of hope...

but as soon as i get to that state, my mind is looking for something to obsess over. So today after feeling good, i had another "Karma" obsession, but i was so fed up with worrying about it i said "I don't care anymore about what happens", but right away i had a fear that because i said that the Universe heard it as "i agree with bad things happening to me in the future, and I accept them"...so now i feel like i've invited those bad things in my life...

 

what do you think?

[ogilvy]

OCD-Support-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

pure_o_ocd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

 

These are 2 good groups where you will definitely get responses quickly

[Guest Perus32]

OCD-Support-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

pure_o_ocd-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

 

These are 2 good groups where you will definitely get responses quickly

 

 

sweeeet....thanks!

[Ameen]

I apologize for the late response. I haven't been on this board in a week or so.

 

It's good to hear from all of you!

 

Unless you have OCD or are close to someone who does, you cannot imagine what this disorder is like. Let's see... Right now my brain is telling me that the police are going to arrest me for being a pedophile. And why am I a pedophile? I referred to a guy in his twenties as a cute naked boy in a letter to a friend. Obviously, the cops read all my e-mail and are amassing evidence against me. Do I actually believe this? No. But does it bother me? Yes.

 

I am also sure I am going to hell for being on this board, this despite my being an atheist who does not believe in hell. God, who does not exist, is getting more and more pissed at me. Is it logical? No. Is it typical OCD? Yes.

 

And, of course, I am waiting for the earthquake, hurricane, tornado, tsunami, terrorist attack, fire, or what have you that will kill me. Did I mention that I lived through 9-11, slept through an earthquake that woke up everyone else in the 1980s, and, just two summers ago, experienced a tornado that did damage in my neighborhood--that tornado being the only one to touch down in Brooklyn in more than 100 years? I suffered no harm in any of these events, lost no loved ones or property. I also know the chances of a worst case scenario are slim, and that there is no logic in worrying about What Ifs. But OCD is not based on logic; it is biological/chemical. I have these fears under control, but they do jab at me every now and then.

 

This is what I deal with every day of my life--what all of us with OCD deal with. We learn how to manage it so we can lead enjoyable, fulfilling lives and no longer be slaves to OCD, but there is no cure for OCD. It can be managed well, though.

 

I spend much of my time like a person with no OCD, and I do enjoy much of my life. That is what I keep telling the OCD people I work with, for it is the truth. But am I free of all of OCD's bullshit? No.

 

That's why I do what I do. No matter how bad the OCD is, there are so many of us who have learned to embrace life enthusiastically despite it.

 

@ Perus32: Hey there! Just remember that reassurance is bad for OCD, and a thread in which we reassure each other would make OCD worse, not better. Reread my response to Praxis_Of_Evil from March 23rd; it is in this thread. I explain exposures and CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) as the right way to handle OCD.

 

That being said, every so often we all need a reality check, and talking through a specific fear--especially if it is a new one or if it has recurred after a long time--is O.K. for a limited time even though it is reassurance. But if you keep seeking reassurance for the same thing you will only make OCD stronger. OCD feeds on the energy you expend to fight its illogical thinking, and it uses that energy to make you more anxious by creating dissonance in your mind. Even though you are right and OCD is wrong, you cannot fight, argue, or freak out. Just let it go. Again, exposures and CBT teach you how.

 

@ mwc: I agree. No one should be disheartened if responses don't come quickly. Most people with OCD lurk but are afraid to post--and that is absolutely fine. As people with OCD, we know how much shame and self-judgement comes with our illness. It isn't easy to talk about it, and I don't think badly of those who can't.

 

@ LLwellyn: I agree with you as well, as I have often said that extremist Christianity is a form of societal OCD imposed on people en masse. Most of the ones suffering from the imposed societal version don't have the biological version, but for those (like me!) who do, it is a recipe for disaster. Not only am I lucky to be functional and out of Christianity/out of most of my OCD nonsense, but I'm also lucky to be alive.

 

By the way, your avatar is gorgeous!

 

@ Lex: Yes indeed, I have spoken to a number of people who have both Tourette's and OCD. That is a common combination. OCD can also co-occur with ADD, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and a number of other disorders.

 

When we talk about mild, moderate, or severe OCD, we are addressing how easy or difficult it is to bring it under control so that the person can lead the type of life he or she wants. Roughly speaking, people with mild OCD can often handle their symptoms with self-help books or even, sometimes, just on their own by naturally bringing them under control. They may need therapy, or they may not. People with severe OCD need medication and CBT (cognitive behavior therapy)--and sometimes, if those fail, much more serious intervention. Those in the middle may be fine with only CBT or may also need medication. They cannot handle OCD without therapy at the very least, though.

 

This is of course a grand blanket statement that does not take into account age of onset, whether the symptoms have lasted months or years, whether or not the person can function at work and in daily/social activities, what type of religious background the person has, if the person has other disorders, if the person comes from a dysfunctional environment, and so on. That's why I always tell people that I am neither an M.D. nor a therapist, and that I cannot make a diagnosis. Quite simply, I can't.

 

It is possible that you have a mild case of OCD. I have met people with mild cases that they could control without therapy or medication. There are also other disorders that are anxiety-based that could account for what you describe--GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder), for example. However, the treatment for all anxiety disorders is the same.

 

@ Phanta: It is possible to have PTSD or another disorder and have some OCD-like symptoms without having OCD--just as it is possible to have both PTSD and OCD. It is also possible to have issues with anxiety that present themselves in a manner similar to OCD but that are not OCD. This is where I am really out of my league, and, once again, why I cannot make a diagnosis.

 

OCD support groups help when someone makes sure that the focus is on recovery, exposures, strategies for living and enjoying it, understanding CBT, talking about medication, and so on. Just knowing that you are not the only one who has gone through something is a major psychic relief. Also, in helping others, you gain more insight into yourself; the fringe benefit is also helping yourself even if that was not what you had set out to do.

 

However--and there is a big however--when OCD support groups descend into checking and reassurance, they are not only counter-productive, but they also make symptoms worse. It would be like passing around a bottle of vodka and inviting everyone to take a swig at an AA meeting! Sadly, OCD support groups descend into counter-productive activities too often, as that is the nature of the OCD beast. I myself am often tempted to ask for reassurance, and that is why I do not.

 

@ Loren: Many people with a variety of disorders have food-related issues for the reasons you mentioned. In the case of OCD... OCD exacerbates real problems; if, on a scale of 1 to 20, a problem is a 5 or a 6, OCD makes it feel like a 19 or a 20 every time. Some OCD people do self-medicate with food--or alcohol or drugs. Now take someone who has been rejected or abused in some fashion and/or has been through an abusive form of religion and/or doesn't have the world's greatest self-esteem. Add OCD to the mix, and you may get obesity. I was obese as a teenager, and then I lost the weight once I came out of the closet, started working on my OCD, and left extremist religion for a more liberal form. I kept the weight off for years, but in the past few years it has been creeping back on. I am being very good about dieting and exercising, but I find I really have to struggle not to overeat since it has become a compulsion, not necessarily something I do for emotional reasons (although there is certainly an element of that as well).

 

Many of the OCD people who write to me on the OCD board have been sexually abused. In particular, some of the guys with false gay fears were raped by other males, and it takes every ounce of courage they have to talk to me, a gay man who is usually twice their age. (I'm 43; most of the guys I talk to are straight, homophobic, and are around 16 to 25.) Many people with false gay fears or other sexual fears stemming from OCD have not been sexually abused in any way. Some are even virgins. But, there are also those whose abuse works hand in hand with OCD.

 

One of the most touching things I have ever received in my life came from a Baptist in a Bible Belt univeristy, a young man who had wanted to commit suicide because of his false gay fears from OCD. OCD always feels real, and his fears felt very real to him even though it was obvious that he was not gay. I had been helping him for a long time, including encourgaing him to get proper therapy and take his meds. Treatment worked so fast it surpised both of us, and he has been almost OCD free for the past few years. He now has a steady girlfriend with whom he has sex (Bible or no Bible). Anyway, he said that he had bullied gay kids much of his life, but after the way I had helped him through all these gay fears he realized what it must be like for a person who really is gay. He then said that if he ever had the opportunity to help a gay person who was lonely or being mistreated, he would. After I read that letter, I cried for about five minutes.

 

@ pippa wonders: Thank you for posting links to those groups. I am sure many here will benefit!

[PaulQ]

I've heard that Cannabis has been used by some people to "Cure" them of OCD and other disorders. Many people I know swear by the pharmaceutical benefits of Cannabis for a variety of disorders. I know I had OCD when I was younger, but seem to have "Cured" myself; maybe those 4/20 sessions in College had something to do with that?

 

What's your take on this?

[Ameen]

@ Lex: I, too, highly value and adore logic, and I use it in many areas of my life--particularly when I teach. However, I recognize that logic is counter-productive if used to fight OCD obsessions. Like checking and reassurance, logical arguments against one's OCD obsessions only make it worse. Again, CBT and, if necessary, medication are the answer.

 

Most people with an anxiety disorder also struggle with depression; I know I have. This is also something I have also learned to deal with in CBT. I have not been in therapy for years, but I still take medication--happily, as I mentioned elsewhere in this thread, only 25% of what I once needed.

 

@ PaulQ: I am not an M.D. and cannot give a definitive answer, but I can say that I have worked with people whose obsessions worsened when they smoked pot. Even after the pot had worn off, the heightened obsessions remained. They became part of the OCD cycle instead of part of being high.

 

Some doctors do say that marijuana has medical benefits, and maybe it is all right for some OCD people. My gut feeling = stay away from pot, but I want to be fair. I do know more than one doctor who is against anyone with OCD taking marijuana because of what they have seen, though.

 

As someone with OCD, I stay far away from any unnecessary medication, caffeinated coffee or tea, large amounts of artificial sweeteners, and anything else that can alter my mood. I don't drink alcohol often, but when I do it is six or more hours after I have taken my medication and only one drink in a 24 hour period.