I am overwhelmed because for the FIRST time in 62 years of life I am free to say, think, feel, be and do ANYTHING. And for the first time in my life I can finally find out WHO I AM. And the icing on the cake!!!! Without all that wasted time reading, studying, listening to the bible and Christian teachings and without all that time and energy wasted praying and trying to figure out what I need to say/do/believe differently (because it isn't working) and be so guarded and controlled in every way...........
I, yes... ME, has time and energy to learn ART, Music, Astrophysics, Neuroscience, Life On The Space Shuttle, Gardening, Wildlife, EVERY other religion/belief system/spiritual practice that is and ever was. And so much more. My public library is awesome...I have found all kinds of DVD's on every subject in the world. There are DVD series called The Great Courses done by college professors and other professionals, but not dry, boring or overly detailed like taking a college course. (and no Tests, homework, Class Attendnace ) They have teaching series on many subjects.
Before deciding to deconvert I started with The Great Courses Bible and Early Christianity series by Bart Ehrman and others . Then Buddhism, Hindusim and others. And about Mythology by Joseph Campbell, Truth about Noahs Ark (they built a ROUND one) by National Geographic. Teachings like these helped hasten my deconversion. Now I am past all that and getting the fun Great Courses that show and tell me about the Great Masterpieces in Louvre/Museums of Art/National Art Galleries/other places I will never be able to travel to see. And many other fun subjects.
But the most important part is I am a ME!! And it is for the first time OK to be a person! And the turmoil, chaos and Voices are mostly gone.