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Showing content with the highest reputation on 03/02/2018 in all areas

  1. 2 points
    Hey guys... I'm new to the site & newly ex-Christian. Born & raised in a southern Baptist family, I am now 41yrs old. I married a Christian minister in '96 and we had 2 kids. We continued in the Baptist religion & raised our kids in its teachings. Fast forward about 20yrs - I started stepping away from Christianity. Bored & worn out with all the "churchy" stuff. It felt so fake to me. I quit going & I started re-examining my entire life. I divorced the minister, married an atheist! lol. (side note: I never knew he was an atheist - we never talked about religion). He's been so good though. He hasn't pressured me in any direction. So last year we started watching that Scientology series by Leah Rimini. Its funny because I actually think everything started making sense when I started watching those shows - I was like "that is such a cult! I can't believe people would believe such nonsense & follow it without question." It was then that I started researching more into my own faith. Much to my surprise, I saw some of the same type things in my own religion!! Believing nonsense blindly, but calling it "faith"...and so much more. I remember thinking "I can't believe Scientologists believe in the Xenu story".... but yet I believed the story about Eve and a talking snake. It was like a light bulb came on in my brainwashed mind. And immediately I felt sick & like I was going to pass out. Everything I had ever been taught & raised was "right" was suddenly a bunch of lies. Anyone else feel this way? I'm still in the early stage of de-conversion... any advice to share? I have read so many posts on this site & it has helped me SOOOOOO much! I feel such a connection with many of you!!
  2. 2 points
    Greetings from Iowa. I was born and raised a Catholic and at age 26 "gave my life to Jesus" at a Billy Graham Crusade. I got caught up in Dominion Theology and became a Fundamentalist Pentecostal Preacher and for 25 years preached hate. How I changed is a long story but it started with a deep depression and suicide attempt in 1996. It was then I realized something was wrong with my thinking and my theology- I resigned as Pastor and began a decade long period of searching and questioning. In 2005, I went back to school and through the writings of James Barr, Paul Tillich and Hans Kung- I left Fundamentalism. (Master in Theology in 2009) At the moment, I am enjoying life without tongues, without fear of the tribulation and rapture- and it is so free. Recently I joined the Unitarian Church in Omaha which is ironic...just 15 years ago- I labeled the Unitarian Church a cult. In 2017, I published a book entitled Journey into Love which detailed my journey out of Fundamentalism. I am still on a journey- trying to figure out where I am spiritually. Recently, my brother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I felt like "crying out to God" for a miracle (the old Pentecostal) but as I no longer believe in a all powerful divine personage who sits on a throne way out there - I did not. But I did express my grief to myself and my wife.
  3. 2 points
    Take it from my personal experience. Embracing hate towards Christians or other groups who share a differing view will backfire and poison your mind. Unless they are attacking you personally or everything you hold dear, it is best to refrain from such emotions.
  4. 2 points
    Don't taunt me! I haven't sorted it all out but my eye orbs still know you aren't there. I'm pretty sure if I cross my eyes hard enough I'll beat this thing. mwc
  5. 2 points
    If an individual couple handles things that way, fine with me. As a generic rule for society to live by, though... no. Whether male or female supremacy, it's unacceptable. My 2 cents at least.
  6. 1 point
    I found this forum a little while ago after hearing some depressing negativity from some Christians from the Vigilant Citizens forum. I was baptized and raised Catholic, but I've become more agnostic as the experiences I had from both intolerant Catholics and Christians. I moved back home to save up on money but go to Church out of respect for my mom who is an avid church goer. It gets kind of boring after a while. So hi!
  7. 1 point
    Buncha bullshit If God as so concerned about people dying and going to hell why didn't he mention hell in the old testament? Also how come he would tell Noah to be fruitful and multiply? All that does is make more souls destined for hell. Of course this guy doesn't have comments enabled, wonder why,
  8. 1 point
    Hi all! My name is Casey I live in Southern California and here's my story. My Christianity phase was from 14-18. I'm now 45. I started surfing when I was 14. The surfboard I bought was from a surfshop owned by a Christian. He had bible studies on a weekly bases. For a 14 year old i was extremely nieve and gullible. Looking back I was more like 14 going on 10. I'm not putting myself down. I was just very immature. Looking back I was looking to belong to a group of people that would love me and accept me. I was bullied in Junior high and high school. I didn't have the best up bringing. My needs of food clothing and shelter was provided. But I was neglected to an extent. Dad divorced my Mom when I was 7. It pretty much destroyed me at the time. My mom had no back bone and didn't protect us kids in the best way. She developed a relationship with now my stepdad who was a complete asshole! He didn't care about us. He was all about my Mom. But we were a package deal. We the kids got the short end of it all. So I started going to Bible Study and then church. Pastors are very persuasive and I sucked it all up as complete truth without the wherewithal to question any of It! I believed what they told me word for word. It was all Calvery Chapel style of teaching which is very fundamentalist. They got me by the fear of Going to hell and being a good person wasn't good enough. Bascially I was manipulated and brainwashed. I felt like I didn't have a choice. When I left it all just before 19 I didn't have clue about the real world. I ended up making a lot of bad choices. Doing a lot of drugs. Looking for love and approval by not being who I truly am. Through out my adult life I've had religious obsessions of right and wrong that would loop in my mind at times. I don't believe in Christianity or hell. But sometimes fear it anyway. Looking back I don't feel like I was a Christian because I had no idea of what I was doing. But I've still been damaged by it. I have OCD which makes me feel like that might be the issue more than my past "Beliefs" but it's hard to say. I'm starting therapy next week to try to clear some of this up. Anyway...I'm thankful to this site and you all to be able to open up about it. Thanks, Casey
  9. 1 point
    That was me to a "T". I was an easy target. Christianity has done me more harm than my worst bully.
  10. 1 point
    IH and End are alright. You've gotta be able to disagree with someone and still recognise that they are a decent person. Otherwise you'll find yourself very isolated very fast.
  11. 1 point
    Your hate would only validate them. They starve for validation, and that's why they're here. If they're deprived long enough of validation (both positive and negative), they might realize they're flailing in the dark and have nothing to prove. Or you can watch them play baseball with well-versed atheistic debaters. It's not our job to fix them, either.
  12. 1 point
    This. I was pointing out precisely that these quotes were not from some other group of people - they were all quoted from feminists, and this sentiment is getting more and more common, and more vicious. It use to be fringe stuff, but now articles reflecting the sentiment in these quotes are being published on mainstream media websites. I agree with the point that the word feminist now has baggage like atheist. That is why I say I'm atheist (I.e. lack belief in gods), but I'm not an atheist. (I.e. an identity) Much like "3rd wave feminism", "Atheism +" has ruined the label.
  13. 1 point
    Well, well, fucking well......... Merkel Finally Acknowledges German "No-Go" Zones, Vows To Eliminate -- https://www.zerohedge.com/news/2018-02-27/merkel-finally-acknowledges-german-no-go-zones-vows-eliminate So while Europeans were tricked into accepting an army of migrants under the guise of a humanitarian effort, liberal EU leaders are finally coming to grips with the fact that the spike in crime associated with their new "neighbors" isn't going over too well with local populations.
  14. 1 point
    Ex-C is for everyone who wants to come here, and will abide by site rules. If you have a problem, try talking to the person directly with the intent of peacefully resolving the issue, or ask a mod to intervene. Otherwise, I'd suggest picking your battles. Everyone has a different experience, and some take longer to reach their destination: often years, or even decades. All of us here were Christian at one point. It helps to extend the patience to others that we likely received from non-Christians in our own religious stage, even if we didn't know it.
  15. 1 point
    Welcome! When I deconverted I had a lot of anger and depression that I kind of bare-knuckled my way through, mostly alone. I didn't come here until much later. Looking back I think it would have been a lot easier if I sought support from others like me back then. I think you're making a smart choice!
  16. 1 point
    Hate isn't very productive. Maybe you should focus on something else? Most of us use to be Christian so maybe keep some perspective?
  17. 1 point
    I believer LF's use of "all" refers to all the quotes he listed as being quotes from feminists. I agree with the point you make about feminists. Unfortunately the word has become loaded with too much baggage. I'm in the same boat as an atheist because the word atheist has also been loaded with too much baggage. It may have been unfair but when these words get used it conjures up ideas that are less than helpful. Still I do look forward to the day when we acheive gender equality.
  18. 1 point
  19. 1 point
    @midniterider Hi and thank you so much for the advice!! "nagging Imaginary friend" hahaha @RealityCheck You're so right! Thanks for the encouragement! @TruthSeeker0 Thanks for sharing - yep, it felt like time completely stopped! I actually think I'm still experiencing some shock. And I'll definitely check out that book you mentioned - thank you for your kindness & support!!!!!!
  20. 1 point
    I found some quotes by True Feminists (TM) I'm so proud of myself... I stumbled on these by accident. "To call a man an animal is to flatter him; he’s a machine, a walking dildo." — Valerie Solanas, Authoress of the SCUM Manifesto "The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness…can be trained to do most things." — Jilly Cooper, SCUM "I want to see a man beaten to a bloody pulp with a high-heel shoved in his mouth, like an apple in the mouth of a pig." — Andrea Dworkin "Men who are unjustly accused of rape can sometimes gain from the experience." - Catherine Comins "All men are rapists and that’s all they are" — Marilyn French, Authoress "The annihilation of a woman’s personality, individuality, will, character, is prerequisite to male sexuality." — Andrea Dworkin "The institution of sexual intercourse is anti-feminist" — Ti-Grace Atkinson ”Feminism is the theory, lesbianism is the practice.” — Ti-Grace Atkinson "All sex, even consensual sex between a married couple, is an act of violence perpetrated against a woman." — Catherine MacKinnon All feminists. So I think I can back up my first post and say well maybe its not that uncommon and extreme for feminists to say these things.
  21. 1 point
    How so? I think he wants you to spank him with your hairbrush, but not too hard. I could be wrong.
  22. 1 point
    Dude that's what I'm saying! It's about fear and guilt. Wrapped in this so called package of love that is unconditional which is total horse shit! I felt like it was believe or else. It's basically like getting robbed at gunpoint. It's anything but love IMO.
  23. 1 point
    No one knows where this place was. It seems made up. People place it all over as a result. Some put it right on the Sea of Galilee and others a bit further south (it still has to be reachable by boat since the narrative seems to imply that). The whole point of moving it further south is to place it near the Decapolis which would mean Greeks (and other non-Jews) would live in this area and would be the ones raising swine. They probably did up north too but the odds increase further into the Decapolis. It is probably just a metaphor. I'm not entirely sure I exist. I can see parts of myself but others I cannot. I can't see the all-important eye parts with which I need to in order to do the seeing of things to know if they exist or not. My world is in tatters. mwc
  24. 1 point
    In the same vein here's a similar joke http://babylonbee.com/news/calvinist-dog-corrects-owner-no-one-good-boy/
  25. 1 point
    @LogicalFallacy Thank you for the advice! And yep, I do expect a lot of pushback. Especially from my family, who are more religious than I ever was. I expect them to do some sort of exorcism on me when I tell them I no longer believe in God. Should be fun! hahaha @DarkBishop omgosh, YES!!! it is so nice to be able to come here & read all of the stories & comments of people going through (or have already gone through) the same thing. Thank you for your kindness & support!
  26. 1 point
    It depends. In a mature relationship where each person has some claim on the other's time, if something were on your mind and you needed to talk, it would be caring of her to put aside her own indisposition in your interest. But that's in a close relationship, romantic or otherwise. For someone you met recently, likely neither of you will have any such claim. If she doesn't want to talk, that's her right, and the mature thing to do is to respect her wishes. I'm not middle-aged, but I thing that behaving considerately would be important in an adult, especially an older person. Few things are more unattractive than a grown-up person acting childishly. In any case, at the end of the day, a person's time is her or his own. If she would rather chat later, it is her decision. I think she acted maturely by explaining frankly that she wasn't in a talking mood. Honesty is something I would value in someone, rather than forcing herself to talk, becoming crankier out of not having her downtime and leaving me with hurt feelings.
  27. 1 point
    I'm in the middle of it. We read "Animal Farm" in high school but not "1984" (That was over 40 years ago!) I'm currently reading it while I sit in church on Sunday mornings.
  28. 1 point
    Well, @Deathportal365, This really is an ex-Christian oriented web site not, necessarily, an atheist one. However, and form an atheist's point of view, a god does not need to be involved for one to forgive someone. In fact that act is between you and you. Some religions have hijacked the concept of forgiveness for...well... the same reasons they do everything else they do. Money and power - via mental, social, and sometimes violent manipulation.
  29. 1 point
    Basically that is it. Notice that orthodox Jews are not rushing to become Christians? The Christian message doesn't fit the Jewish scriptures but rather stands out as an opposition.
  30. 1 point
    I have a gender neutral screen name and don't talk much. Nearly every time I talk I get a reaction to my voice. Players either get mad or send me friend requests instantly. Or they assume I'm a very young boy. It doesn't happen to my male friends. And my other female friends refuse to use the mic. Sometimes the friend requests are other girls that just weren't talking.
  31. 1 point
    That is Christianity in a nutshell.
  32. 1 point
    You seem to think here that we left because we were taken in by a false Christianity. Are you sure this the case? Might we have left because Christianity itself proved to be a myriad of flawed precepts that was dangerous to our state of mind. Might we have have left because under close examination of our faith Jesus wasn't there. Can you or any other Christian finally prove that this factitious spirit father is actually real?
  33. 1 point
    In my experience, Christians will assign any reason but the primary one. True, some people leave a church because of leadership or people, but leaving Christianity altogether is another question. People don't stop believing the Christian myth because they want to "sin" and they don't stop believing because some prominent Christian or one they know personally acts like an ass. People leave the Bible story behind them because it doesn't make any sense, contradicts not only science and history, but it contradicts itself. It is usually quite painful and personally costly to leave this religion in America, so it's not something done without much consideration. But Christians, feel free to make up your own reality on this, too.
  34. 1 point
    Welcome. I understand the need to not disappoint parents. There will come a time when you can launch out on your own, and live your own life. I worried about leaving, but when couldnt take the sermons any longer, my mother actually took my leaving better than I expected, after her initial dramatic reaction. Later found she had actually questioned some of the dogma.
  35. 1 point
    Discussions - yes. Quarreling - no. I avoid dialog with those who cannot hold a thought, for the sake of the discussion, simply because they disagree with it. I also avoid those who develop a seething hatred and disrespect for those with whom they disagree. Unfortunately I am married to both of those people.
  36. 0 points
    There are a lot of cultures that are homophobic and atheist. Or cultures where the majority are homophobic when their religion doesn't expressly say anything about homosexuality. People in those cultures see it as someone trying to be weird. Like someone is being gay for attention. I've met an ultra conservative, traditionalist, anti-feminist butch lesbian atheist. She believed women should not be in the workplace and should stay home and be submissive to their husbands. Divorce should be banned except in extreme cases. Men should physically punish their wives for disobedience. She lamented that the sort of woman she would be interested in would be the stereotypical ultra feminine housewife and such traditionalist women are very unlikely to be interested in a masculine lesbian, and most lesbians are feminists and she hates feminists, so she'll be single forever. Although she strongly supported traditional gender roles for both men and women, she believed that gays and lesbians are exceptions who can choose which gender role they wish to be. She was also against transgenders because she thought it was a mental disorder caused by people being too homophobic to accept their own homosexuality.

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