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Showing content with the highest reputation on 01/10/2019 in all areas

  1. 3 points
    It sounds to me like you did very well. It was a first or at least one of the first visits since coming out so you really couldn't fairly expect much. You held your ground without having unreasonable expectations for their behavior. There was nothing you said that was unreasonable or that you should feel bad about saying. I think you've laid a good groundwork for what will be acceptable in future visits. You're trying to deal with a very difficult situation that often ends in failure so anything positive that ultimately comes out of your efforts is a real plus. Now that everyone has learned somewhat what to expect and what your minimum expectations are there is a reasonable chance that bit by bit future visits will become less tense and possibly (who knows?) even bring some joy. It's up to your parents as much as you I think you should feel great about doing everything you can from your side and putting in as much effort as you obviously have. Excellent job Purple Lilac! I'll be very interested to hear what comes from your next get together but for now just relax and hang with some nice clear headed friends.
  2. 2 points
    My parents flew in before Christmas and stayed for a week. Within 10 min of walking in,my father asked my oldest child if he could lay hands on her and pray her fever would be gone. She said no,thank goodness. The visit was tense,all parties were careful to avoid religion and politics,except my dad asking my children to pray for him and their siblings. I let my parents pay for nothing. They tried to buy my husband and I for years and that’s over. They looked at houses two hours from me while they were here. I felt sick about it but said nothing. Finally, They flew back home and I sent them a text that they might want to choose another place to live because two get togethers a year is the absolute limit for my emotional and mental health (yup,I said it just like that.) I know my parents choose their god and their fundie Pentecostal religion over me. I accept that and I will do all I can to protect my kids and my family. I even made out my will to ensure my kids will never fall into their hands. I hate fucking religion.
  3. 2 points
    I will, thank you! I have read a few things already about dating etc. I am digging in the old testament just now, I was more focused on the new until recently. But I will have a look at the YouTube channel you sent. No offense, don't worry. I understand that for somebody who has the mental skills to get out easily, it might sound weird that somebody else struggles so much. It's like with everything else, for example, I have a very good memory, and I have difficulties to understand how some people cannot memorise anything. Same thing. But thank you for all your advices anyway. And that's what I appreciate with this site, is that many things are being debunked, it's great for people like me who are in the process.
  4. 2 points
  5. 2 points
    You exhibit no codependence with your parents, nor are you enabling them. Those are healthy indicators. They are responsible for their lives and you are for yours. Your experience of sadness from the continued disconnect with your parents is also healthy. Perhaps there is not much you can do about the situation, and perhaps that's just the way it is going to be. Fortunately, you have purpose and responsibilities with your own nuclear family, to which you can devote your positive efforts.
  6. 1 point
  7. 1 point
    Welcome to Ex-C, @daydreamer26. Congratulations on finding you way out of the mind control. - MOHO (Mind Of His Own)
  8. 1 point
    Ok thanks. I just wanted to hear from you whether or not this is too offensive a direction to take. Because this isn't about any one else, it's your thread about your thoughts and feelings at this time. I was just reading the thread and trying to help out where I thought the meat of the matter with Daniel can be located and discussed. I gotta tell you, deconstructing the bible like this can be a real eye opener. And I'm not surprised that it takes time to digest. That's actually very normal. My abrupt statement was more the case of cutting to the conclusion up front. The conclusion or happy ending, is that you don't need to be afraid about it. It's wrong. Now understanding that conclusion very well can take time, but that doesn't change the conclusion. And perhaps knowing that in advance might give you some added confidence in doing the leg work and finding out the details.
  9. 1 point
    "Given the right circumstances" is a far cry from the "Just do it" bravado of your previous post. A person deathly afraid of heights might do just fine on an airplane at 30,000 feet; because there's a floor under their feet, a roof over their head... a general sense of normalcy. Is choice a factor? Well, the person certainly chose to get on the airplace; but take the bottom out from under them and there will be nothing left but instinct (in the form of fear; and without the benefit of conscious decision). Surely that's the point. Many of us walk the beams without ever really feeling, or realizing the fear. Many of us choose to walk despite the fear. Some will never be able to walk without the crippling tingle at the base of their spines. The one thing we have in common is that few of us chose to climb up onto the beams ourselves. We just realized, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, that we were up there. But that first sensation, when the blindfold was removed and we realized how far we were from safety, how precarious our situation... that sensation stays with many of us for time immeasurable, irrespective of what other choices we may or may not make.
  10. 1 point
    Just the simple truth...
  11. 1 point
    That sounds like progress! You should check out the entire Daniel series from the youtube channel I posted. Just take it all in and see what you make of it. The Jewish calendar issue is the tip of the ice burg as far as that goes. And if you're clearly understanding and accepting that, I don't see any reason that you couldn't also understand and accept all of the rest of the similar points that go along with it. That IS what we do around here. We analyze christianity and the bible from technical angles as part of encouraging ex christians along the way. Temper the intellectual issues with the professional emotional help and you may start seeing something in the way of positive progress towards where you're telling us you'd like to be. Hopefully you don't find my speaking with conviction offensive. But the bottom line is that christianity is largely false where the relevant points are concerned. It's an issue which turns out to be very simple, but which people tend to make very complex, unnecessarily mind you. And that should be "good news" to someone who just wants to be done with it and let it go. It's wrong. Wrong is wrong. It's not going to suddenly become right when it's this wrong. When people claim it's right, challenge them. They'll fail. If you bring claims like this here they will be deconstructed and debunked. If you bring the people who make claims like this here, the same will occur. That's part of the overall theme of encouraging ex christians. And it's the part or aspect that comes with strong conviction.
  12. 1 point
    Thank you everybody for all your comments. I would tend to agree with @TruthSeeker0 on this. I have been reading some testimonies, and some people just leave the faith without looking back, some others remain in fear for years. I wish I could be of the first group of people, but I have been struggling so much, that I believe I am part of the latter group, unfortunately. Hence I am helped professionally, but it'll be a process. Hopefully I'll reach your level of certainty soon. I have been reading about Daniel, and I have been looking into this gematria. But what got me out of the doubt for this, is simply that the calendar the person used is the Jewish one, which is defective. So that solves it. Anyway thank you all for your advices, I appreciate.
  13. 1 point
    I see you visited this site yesterday so hopefully I can add a thought or two that you can consider. I think you could make a big mistake just now if you join forces financially with your parents to rent a nicer 4 bedroom that your parents and brothers can't afford to pay for on there own. You say your mother will need to rehab for a couple of months but it looks like you will need to stay on indefinately or they will not be able to make payments. What if they don't wind up wanting to let you live your own life? What is your exit strategy in this quite likely scenario? Are you meaning to guarentee you will keep sending your share even after you move out in persuit of a meaningful fufilling life for yourself? You may think that when your mother gets better she will work and they'll be able to afford the appartment without you but if this is really the case why didn't they make this move anytime before now? What if the likely thing happens and you just have to leave because the living arrangements are stifling, you need your earnings to secure reasonable living accomodations for yourself and your parents can't keep up with the payments and are therefore forced out. How would you feel and where would your family end up? I think almost any plan would be better than this one. Buy your mother a nice clean room somewhere close where she can rehab until she's strong enough to go back home. Whaterer that costs would be very cheap in the long run. If you can't afford to do that don't feel bad because very few people can. Clearly you love your family but don't push yourself to give more than you are reasonably capable of giving. You can spend time with your mother and do your best to help her have a speedy recovery irregardless of the situation she finds herself in. If you have a little extra money you can use that to help her be more comfortable without jeopardizing your personal life and future. Good luck and best wishes.
  14. 1 point
    Yup, when my sister left before me that was what initially pushed me to question.
  15. 1 point
    "Jesusy" I had a young neighbour who was invited to a youth service. She said "Oh they had a lot of "goddy" music!
  16. 1 point
    Some modern worshit songs feel like soft porn. Some old hymns feel like SM.
  17. 1 point
    I view the bible as works of literature and myths that represent the cultures in which they were written. I also view the bible (and any other holy book) as among the greatest threats we have that are counter-productive to living in a peaceful, egalitarian society. As long as they are viewed as holy books and the word of god, they have the power to pit people against each other and divide and conquer.
  18. 1 point
    Welcome to Ex-c! I think you should start a topic in the Spirituality Section and allow the people who are longing for some kind of spiritual walk in 'the universe', to be able to post there? PM me and I'll let you in. The reason I suggest this is because if you go stay here in the Lions Den, you will have to prove what you are stating about this spiritual concept. So I'll leave this up to you. Thanks, new friend. (hug) @Soul The Spirituality Section allows for a much friendlier discussion.

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