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Showing content with the highest reputation since 02/28/2020 in Posts

  1. 10 points
    Leia, if I'm being honest, I'm concerned about how much the hateful environment in which you were submerged might have affected you. I'd caution against allowing their hatred of others become your hatred of them. Anger has its place in life, and certainly in the deconversion process; but either we master and use it for good, or it masters and uses us, for results that may be less than good.
  2. 10 points
    Hello Disgruntled, I think "sin" is a theological construct best left at the door. It is Christianity's tool to create a false need, i.e. "I am damned and need to be saved" so that Christianity can then offer [ETA: or "sell you"] the solution to the false need it created. We all do wrong things and we lead better lives as we grow in moral character. To do that does not call for the theological construct, "sin," and in fact I think one's moral character is much firmer when one acts because the thing is good rather than out of fear that God will get you.
  3. 9 points
    Hi, after many years of questioning my Christian faith, last night I became an atheist. I've 40 years of god and religion to undo in my thinking. My brain is on overdrive and feels like it's about to explode. It's all a bit scary at the moment.
  4. 7 points
    The well dressed man entered the chemist shop. He paused to scan the shelves packed with boxes and bottles. With a sigh, he made his way to the counter. "Good morning sir. How can I help you today?" said the pharmacist, dressed in his customary white lab coat, the white on black name tag proudly announcing his name as John. "Yes, good morning. I've left the doctors office where I was told I have the flu. When I asked the doctor what I should take he said 'there is nothing for it, anything I give you would be no better than a placebo', so hence I'm here to buy a placebo." "Err, you do realise a placebo is simply an ineffective product that you put your faith in?" "Absolutely, what do you have that has no benefit?" "But surely knowing that the product is not helping would invalidate the effect?" "Nonsense, I have complete faith in the placebo effect, so please point me to your most useless item." "Okay, umm... Well, these herbal remedies are unproven junk. A few roots and berries with no reason to believe they do anything at all. Very popular with people wanting a placebo." "Hmm, that's good but it feels like it still leaves the door open for some herb to actually be beneficial. Do you have anything that removes all doubt?" The pharmacist scratched his head, eyes sweeping the stacked shelves. "Ah, I have just the thing. Essential oils! These things smell nice, but people take the air freshener idea to believe it cures all sorts of things." "Any science or suggested method for it to work?" "The science says it doesn't work. The only suggestions I can remember were either reminding you of pleasant smells from the past, or perhaps some endorphin release." "Well, it still sounds like it has an effect and I was really hoping for something that does absolutely nothing." The pharmacist was at his wits end. How could he possibly find something so completely benign that it has zero effects? Any chemical, no matter how inert, would do something... Perhaps something non-chemical? Then inspiration hit him. "Have you tried prayer?" "No, what is it?" "Well, you talk to yourself, imagining some invisible and silent super being is listening and you ask that imaginary character to aid you." "Does it matter what name I use or what my imaginary character looks like?" "No, not at all. Its equally ineffective regardless of what super being you think of." "And absolutely no science or suggestions on how it could work?" "Quite the opposite. All research shows its useless and the only suggestion is pure placebo." "Perfect, I'll be feeling better in no time."
  5. 7 points
    Don't be afraid to do a lot of crying honey because it helps dissipate the hate and anger. I was very angry for a long time. It's called grief. Don't be afraid of it. You are probably a gentle person who is angry at yourself because we got duped and brainwashed by the lie of the christian doctrine. Today, a very good acquaintance of mine (who runs the corner store and I know him fairly well) told me that this virus was here because Jesus is sending a clear message for people to go back to church. If I didn't like him so much, I could have punched his face in. I guess I still need counselling. Lol It really does make you do the biggest eye roll....
  6. 7 points
    WOW! Is this the first documented occurrence of Ex-C married couples both finding their way out of the mind-control? I envy you, @PSR!
  7. 7 points
    I can sympathize with wanting there to be more. If you're looking for a saviour, though, it seems to me that a God who gets so upset over a piece of fruit that he needs to resort to human sacrifice is probably not the best candidate.
  8. 7 points
    A religion designed by a perfect god should not have turned out so imperfectly.
  9. 6 points
    In a sense, my motorcycle is magic. When I ride it, I feel 50 years younger!
  10. 6 points
    This is the point I wanted to get to, where I mentally could not cite scripture. I used to be able to cite book. chapter, and verse. I haven't read a Bible in years. For me, deconverting was like an alcoholic keeping drinks out of the home. So proud today.
  11. 6 points
    AD, You are not the one with all the power. God is supposed to be the one with all the magical power. He is supposed to be Omnipotent, Omniscient and Omnipresent. He's supposed to fix the earth? It's his creation, right? I'm sure trillions of people from all over the world are praying right now and nothing seems to be stopping this virus. It will run it's course and not everyone will get out alive. This is part of life, virus's. Hundreds of virus's have taken over the earth for centuries and any prayers that people sent out throughout history did not stop it. So who's fault is it? The one that is supposed to have ALL the magical power and yet 'he' doesn't stop the sickness or suffering?? You mustn't blame yourself. You have to comfort yourself. You have to do what they are suggesting to do to protect yourself. We have to let it run it's course and cross our fingers that this will go away fast if we all do the right thing. Try to get your mind on other things. I am trying to pretend that most things are normal but I am not in denial either. Go out for walks and take in the sunshine. Stay off the sites on social media that scare the shit out of us. I deleted them all and now look only to the reliable information. The solace you are looking for is within yourself by accepting that this epidemic is here, it is part of living on this earth and we all have to go through it together. Go watch a funny you-tube tonight. If you think I find this easy, it's not. It's not for billions of people, me included. I spent 4 days in terrifying, paralyzing fear as I know that I am older now with compromised lung problems. If my husband is laid off, (which will probably happen because everything in our city is shutting down) I'll be with the other millions that will fall financially unless the government really does step in and help us all. I will lose my house that I worked so hard to keep for 23 years...... blood, sweat and a lot of tears.... without the help of jesus. It' has taken a few days for me to wrap my head around this whole thing and it's scary. Just never give up. And don't blame yourself. You didn't cause it nor can you fix it, accept by protecting yourself and your loved ones and do what they suggest. Hang in there. We're all in this together. Big (hug) P.S. If it makes you feel better, tell god you are sorry for not praying. And then start praying right away. Pray for the next 7 days and see if you can stop this virus. I can tell you that you will be wasting your time.
  12. 6 points
    Telling a child, someone with a lifetime of potential ahead of them that they're nothing but depraved sinners is the epitome of child abuse. I think the testimonies of the members of this site can attest to that fact.
  13. 6 points
    Not too long ago I had to go to a service at a fundy church and there was a 10-year-old kid there who stood up and said he was terrified of going to hell. That's child abuse of the first order.
  14. 6 points
    I honestly don't mean to get all political here, but this is where it becomes very apparent that electing someone like Donald Trump was a very bad idea. Conservative, liberal, whatever. I don't care. The person in charge should be intelligent, coherent, literate, capable of telling the truth, and aware of his or her own ignorance where it exists. Trump is none of these. It's been an issue for a while, but now it's really an issue.
  15. 6 points
    Because he was invented by chauvinistic men.
  16. 6 points
    I think the real question is fairly clearly "can you be a true pagan if you fear hell?" **ducks and runs away**
  17. 6 points
    Hi Zen, Parents aren't perfect and often they say stupid shit (kidding or not). My advice would be to consider her comment a silly remark and ignore it. Plus keep doing what you're doing (therapy, planning to move out, etc). And, just for the record, there are plenty of guys who have had no girlfriends by 19 years old and well beyond that age. Relationships will happen organically. If you feel no partner is needed in your life right now, don't bother seeking, especially for the sake of someone else. Best to you!
  18. 6 points
    Being able to pee standing up has its perks, though.
  19. 5 points
    I've been out of the church for about four years now. I moved out, took a job in another state, and just stopped going to church. Over a period of about two years, I started kind of hesitantly researching different pagan traditions—Wicca, Heathenry, Greek reconstruction—found shamanism resonated with me, and thought that was it. I'd left the church and didn't hold any ill feelings toward it or Christianity in general, and I was happy. But when I visited my parents (who don't know about my beliefs) this past Christmas, I went to church with them, as usual. They'd changed churches over the past year, and the pastor of this one used the Christmas Eve and New Year services to deliver….not quite fire-and-brimstone sermons, but definitely come-to-Jesus sermons. One of them was a little lighter, more of the "Jesus loves you, please come to him" variety while the other got into more of the "there are eternal consequences if you don't follow Jesus" theology. And I remember feeling just this sense of terror. I'd be lying if I said I didn't seriously consider rededicating my life to Christ right then, just because I was so afraid of what would happen if I didn't. You know those stories you heard in the church, where converts say they felt so convicted over their sin that they dropped to their knees and prayed for God to save them? That's what it was, except I didn't pray. I went back to my parents' house, processed what had happened, and concluded that fear of eternal hellfire was a terrible reason to embrace a religion. Ever since then, though, I've been thinking about just what I was raised to believe. There was a lot of abuse in my household—emotional, verbal, mental—and I've spent the past few years coming to terms with that. But I also became a Christian when I was 11 years old, after I started crying when this stupid "Biblical womanhood" self-taught course thing I was taking explained why sin is such an affront to God. I felt so guilty, so dirty and unclean, that I just sobbed as my mom led me through the sinner's prayer. It was always framed as a beautiful moment, and I thought of it that way for years, but the more I look back the more I realize how messed up that was. I was just a kid being taunted with eternal torment because I hadn't been following God's rules, and I was the one expected to feel guilty? But then again, that's how I was raised to see authority. My mom would sit me down at the table and say she loved me, then proceed to dismantle me as a person, as a daughter, as a good Christian. She'd tell me my depression and anxiety were a lack of faith. I think she suspected I was a lesbian long before I even learned what a lesbian was (I was very sheltered) and cut me off from female friends I now know I was crushing on. She refused to let me dress the way I wanted, refused to let me listen to music that wasn't made by Christians, and demanded I get straight A's even when I struggled with algebra. And she had a temper. I can't tell you how many times I'd be talking to her and think we were both having fun and joking, when all of a sudden she'd turn on me and verbally abuse me for my "snotty disrespect." Through it all, she'd say she loved me. The abuse is what stuck with me, but the love is what she wanted me to focus on. The more I think about it, the more I realize that this is the God I was raised to revere. An all-powerful bully who would send you to hell for making a face he didn't like, cut you off from the people you love because he thinks your love is wrong, and demand you love him with all your heart. And for a long time, I did. Or I tried. I was a devoted Christian for so long, trying to make my love perfect for a God I thought I could please. I look back at who I was then, and I know that Christianity might not have been at the root of my anxiety, but the fear of angering God certainly made it ten times worse. I apologize if this was rambling. I'm just now coming to terms with all that, realizing that the faith I was raised with was messed up. Which is difficult, because up until now, I'd thought Christianity and I parted on good terms. I didn't have any ill will against it; I just chose a different path. Except now I see that path was one no child should have been made to walk, and I feel guilty. I feel guilty for seeing my childhood faith was toxic. I feel guilty for seeing God as a bully. I feel guilty for wishing I'd been raised with no religion at all. Even knowing that there was something deeply wrong with it, there's still a part of me that wants to acknowledge Christianity as the only true religion.
  20. 5 points
    SARS-CoV-2 is the name for the corona virus itself. It is classified with the previous SARS virus, as the second classified variation of the SARS virus. The sickness is called COVID 19 coronavirus. It is a type of flu that many humans have less immunity to than other flu viruses. For most people they will have cold-like, or flu-like symptoms. Symptoms can last as short as a few days and some people may have no symptoms at all. Some may never come down with an active case of this virus but still can be a carrier for a period of time, but an unlikely transmitter. Others can have respiratory symptoms lasting for weeks similar to other flues. But the sickness can last much longer for those having a compromised immune system, especially the aged and those with lung problems where death could be the result. Of course other strains of the flu could also kill these people, which is more likely since there are many other widespread strains of flu viruses where the yearly flu shot would not be effective against for any particular year. It is unusual that children, for the most part, do not get sick with this virus, unlike other types of flu strains. Presently it is just speculation as to why children in general are more immune to this sickness. Future studies of children all over the world with mild symptoms might help in the development or improvement of a future vaccine. It expectedly will likely take no more that 12 to 18 months, in the opinion of some virologists, to develop and approve a vaccine in the US and other countries since there will be so many countries working on one, and then such a vaccine can be improved as time progresses. To start with this vaccine will likely be separate from the normal flu vaccine, but in time it could likely be part of our yearly flu vaccine regimen of a single shot. It is normal human behavior for certain factions of the population to over-react to situations of possible peril, especially when there are so many unknowns involved. This virus scare is probably no exception. Below you will see a link discussing some myths that have developed concerning the COVID 19 coronavirus: https://www.livescience.com/coronavirus-myths.html
  21. 5 points
    So, so sorry for the loss of your brother. This is where life is really hard. (I lost my sister so I really empathize with losing a sibling) He is finally resting now. Live for him sweetie. Live for him everyday. It takes time so allow yourself lots of rest and peace. Go do something nice for yourself today. I give you the biggest virtual (((hug)))
  22. 5 points
    Yes. Even if not physical abuse necessarily, certainly psychological abuse. This isn't even a question as far as I'm concerned.
  23. 5 points
    Here's what I do: 1. Follow enough news from reliable sources to know what you need to do, but don't consume too much of it. 2. Verify anything that sounds radical or questionable through multiple sources. 3. And, although we don't do the God thing any more, keep in mind the Serenity Prayer minus the God stuff: Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference.
  24. 5 points
    That was a mistranslation. god meant that men shouldn't lie to other men the way they lie to their women. It was the old testament version of "Bros before Hoes."
  25. 5 points
    Thank you for your support; it means a lot to me. What if the Koran is true after all? What if the Bhagavad Gita is true after all? What Odin or Zeus was true after all? Step back and look at planet earth. What in the world would make a person believe in that hideous bible? At some point the blinders will fall off and you will see things differently.
  26. 5 points
    My personal belief is that god is not pleased with the fundagelicals embracing Donald Trump, so he has sent a plague.
  27. 5 points
    I know this question was not directed at me but, for the sake of newly minted ex-christians, I feel I should opine. It is not necessary to go from one man-made bullshit doctrine to another.
  28. 5 points
    This is a question that only you can answer. The same goes for anybody who asks the same question, and it gets asked a lot. However there are tips I've come across during the years. One is that you don't need to necessarily do what I did which was basically a big reveal moment... that went down like a lead balloon. There was no forewarning and they didn't see it coming. Suffice to say it was a big shock. I needed to come out as I no longer wanted to attend the small church we gathered at, even for pretense purposes. Had I lived in another city where me not going to church wouldn't have been missed I might not have bothered to say anything. As it was any absence from the Church would have been noted so I came out one night over dinner. My advice is to avoid that sort of situation. Is it possible for you to lay in hints, like points you disagree on, in conversation? I don't know what your values are, but for example say they are strongly against gay marriage and you support it, you could state that without outright needing to say you are an atheist. Do that sort of thing over a period of time and they will realize you don't necessarily believe the same things they do, and this may open a natural conversation about you being atheist, rather than it being a forced coming out conversation. Also you have to weigh in to your consideration your family dynamics, how close nit you are, how tolerant they may be of a "back sliden" family member etc. These are things only you can answer. As far as wanting to talk to people - I guess we just like having people around us that share the same beliefs and values. That's why I hang out so much here and on discord chat because I know I'm talking with people who at least share one major similarity. I somewhat feel the same way as you. Even though I know my family know I don't believe in God nor share many of their values I still don't fully discuss things and have decent conversations with them because I know many of our values and opinions are diametrically opposed and for me to state mine would just bring conflict, and generally I don't think its worth it. So you certainly are not alone in the way you feel.
  29. 5 points
    Tell her you really just want to focus on dating jesus right now.
  30. 5 points
    Disgruntled: Yes, there are a few good things in the Bible and about Jesus. But these things also exist outside the Bible, and without all the negativity that the Bible brings. If you take a look at "Christian values," you will see that those which are positive exist in many other cultures and religions. Even other animals have shown to have compassion for each other. And if you look for those values which are exclusive to Christianity, you'll probably see negative ones. Christianity is a cult of fear that creates fear in people in order to rope them in and keep them under control. What other religion teaches that you are worthless? Is that a religion that you want to follow?
  31. 5 points
    Religion is about control through fear. Priests figured that out a very long time ago. Strange how few believers ever see through it.
  32. 4 points
    I was paddled and spanked repeated as a kid and with one exception I did not deserve it. The verses about sparing the rod and spoiling the child , and "who he loves he chasenth " were used as justification. When I saw this video on YouTube I thought I should make a thread about it. Video in question: https://youtu.be/9z3DoBN286U So let the debate on whether or not the Bible advocates child abuse.
  33. 4 points
  34. 4 points
    Thanks, now I have a better idea of what you mean. Hopefully you can get over feeling that you caused it. And I thought you were more concerned about getting the virus. I have the same concerns about what it will do to the world's economy, and getting the necessities of life out to people. I think there may be some overreaction considering that most people will survive it okay. Too many people live paycheck to paycheck and with businesses closed, and jobs shut down, won't be able to pay the rent, etc.
  35. 4 points
    To all those considering letting Jesus Christ into your heart, please never let him in. The moment you do you are his. He marks you as his territory. Sure he seems sweet, nurturing, strong, and protective. But it's all a lie. After you accept him he becomes abusive, oppressive, and manipulative. You will suffer. You will never be the same. Your life will be no longer yours but his. Him and his Father have you clutched in their death grip. To every former Christian, please keep up the good fight. Fight against Christianity. Your life is your own. Never look back.
  36. 4 points
    I always invite religious salespeople in. Most regret It. Few ever return.
  37. 4 points
    because the lifestyle does not produce more children to be brainwashed into being submissive slaves, and eventually putting money into the church treasury??
  38. 4 points
    I just thought I would share an uplifting news story we had in Canada today. The federal government is introducing legislation to ban Conversion Therapy. It seems like this "therapy" is based more on religious hatred of gay people than actual science. https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/lametti-conversion-therapy-eradicate-1.5491718
  39. 4 points
    I wonder if my creditors would buy that idea .... "Believe I have paid you! And so shall it be! It's so simple." lol
  40. 4 points
    Look, Christianity at it's roots is opposed to women's equality, homosexuality and witches. You'll either become a damn good liar or lose some "friends." For the sake of your sanity and self esteem I recommend new friends.
  41. 4 points
    Yeah, the attitudes expressed in the Bible are a reflection of the authors and the societies they came from. They do not come from an actual deity.
  42. 4 points
    I get the feminist angle, but there is a hell of a lot more about Christianity that's wrong. Following the rules of most denominational interpretations is no picnic for men, either. Men from ancient societies invented the Abrahamic religions and we should expect the message to reflect their knuckle dragging sentiments. Also, why shouldn't you be an enemy of an oppressive, nonsensical and dangerous religious belief?
  43. 4 points
    Boredom, most likely. Also much cooler jewelry than the simple cross or crucifix.
  44. 4 points
    I can relate to a few of these. Even though I am not a theist, I am still sort of fascinated by other religions, the things people come up with. As I was sliding into my deconversion, I read a book about taoism and thought, “this is cool.” It was reassuring to know that everyone does not think the way my mind-controlled social network did growing up. I could add another, baser reason that people become pagans or adopt other religions: to get their family’s goat, an act of religious rebellion.
  45. 4 points
    Agree with Logical Fallacy. It might be compared to people who "come out" in other walks of life. People who have come out as GLBT have been known to have their families try extra hard to "correct" them. IE arranging for them to meet available members of the opposite sex (under the logic that they just haven't met the right girl/guy). I don't bring up my beliefs unless I am specifically asked because for some reason religious disagreements cut more to the core than many other feelings and thus evoke more virulent responses. Find others who share your feelings and then you may feel that their camaraderie is sufficient enough that you don't have to "dump" it all on your family. (They may well feel dumped on". Do you live in a community where your beliefs, or lack thereof, may bring dis favor upon your family?? Some cultural groups are more attached to the church than others, which makes it even worse for one wanting to detach. I my case, I continued to attend church when I visited my mother because it meant so much to her. She is gone now and I am glad I made her happy with my attendance. After all it was just a few hours on a few Sundays, so I don't have that guilt to carry around. Good luck. Let us know how it turned out if/when you do tell them.
  46. 4 points
    A joke I came across - thought @Geezer might appreciate it.
  47. 4 points
    Welcome from me. You are starting an exciting journey - joyful at times, challenging at other times. Don't ever give up asking questions. And lots of the answers are here. This is my experience - and I was a Christian for over 60 years, much of that time in ministry.
  48. 4 points
    Even without proving that a god doesn't or can't exist, I'd bet anything in the world against it. I'm thoroughly convinced that it's all make believe, all of it. No less convinced than I am that Santa, or the Tooth Fairy, Boogie Man, or FSM are all demonstrably made up and imaginary. And all fanatasy. And at no point have I required hard evidence of gods non-existence or claiming to know that god doesn't exist to be this convinced that's all made up. I have my better judgement, logical deduction, intuition, academic and scientific studies, etc., etc., all pointing towards the same conclusion. And I have concluded. It would take an act of god, to change my mind at this point!!! But seriously, I leave open the possibility that I could be wrong because I don't know or have absolute knowledge. I just feel comfortable making a rational conclusion based on the knowledge that is available.
  49. 4 points
    Okay, I'm convinced. I'm now a gnostic apatheist. I know that I don't give a flying fuck if a god exists or not.
  50. 4 points
    Not to steal WalterP’s thunder, but, the burden of proof is on the one making the assertion. As in, “god exists.” Someone who does not believe it does not have to prove their position; the person who is saying god exists does. I will guess that you do not believe that there is a race of ancient humans living beneath the surface of Mars. So, what if someone came along and demanded that you prove that those people do not exist, then said that they must exist because you cannot prove that they don’t. That is what believers are doing when they demand that nonbelievers prove that god does not exist.


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