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  1. Dearest Heavenly Bible God, Father, Jehovah, Jesus, Holy Spirit, The Creator of the Universe, I come to you with the utmost sincerity of my heart, to talk with you. I have wanted to please you all my life. I have searched for you all my life. I have wanted to be one of your chosen. I never wanted to worry on this earth about going to your hell. So I tried to be good. Yes, I screwed up quite a few times, made quite a few mistakes, but they told me it was because I was 'blood and 'flesh' and that you were like the potter, taking this ‘blob’ of sinful clay and turning me into a diamond. I have a
    31 points
  2. Whatever... I have no idea what you are talking about. If you are saying I don't have a right to be angry at religion... you are wrong. If you believe that I don't have a right to be angry at certain religious people, you are wrong. The ENTIRE point isn't about wanting to 'sin', or tithe, or whatever. It's about promises made, supposedly by an omniscient creator.. that his people would be blessed. They are not. They are no different, and in some cases much worse than others. The institutions are corrupt and greedy and divisive. The entire legacy sucks. I'm not angry at christianity
    23 points
  3. A strange thing has happened over the past few weeks - and I think it's a good sign: I haven't felt the need to logon to ex-christian.net EVERY SINGLE DAY... Don't get me wrong, this site is AMAZING. It has played a huge role in processing my deconversion experience, finding my new worldview, growing in confidence in what I believe and why, finding freedom from all of the fears Christianity had gripped me with. Everyday for nearly 3 years, I signed on - eager to hear another extimony, hoping people shared their thoughts about the issues I was facing - and they did. I had to RE-HASH everyth
    21 points
  4. You won't be around here very long before you hear people refer to deconversion as a process, rather than an event. It hardly needs saying that making the transition from being a True Christian to being an Ex-Christian does not happen overnight. Looking back at my own deconversion journey so far, and learning about the similar journeys taken by others among us, as well as seeing new members show up here "dripping wet" and frightened or in shock at realizing that they are in fact on the way to being Ex-Christians, I wanted to share why I think it is so important to "complete" the deconversion
    20 points
  5. I have a special moment to share with you all, I hope it makes you proud. As many of you know, I am a bit outspoken and feisty on the forum at times. I don't mind throwing "fuck" around or calling people out. It may surprise you to know that I'm not outspoken about religion in my personal life, I usually just shutup and think snarky things to myself. On Saturday evening, I let the snark show and it was pure beauty incarnate. Allow me to give you the details. I had a headache, but went to my sister's birthday dinner anyway. The whole table knew I had a headache, because I was impati
    19 points
  6. It was 7 years ago tonight that I made my very first post on Ex-c. Sweet mossy, I was a mess that night. I guess you could say I was fantasizing how to get off this earth. Yep. My whole life was a mess....again. And now, no god to pray to this time. That was 2010. You guys don't know the whole story because some things ya just can't tell on a forum. Ex-c saved me. Not god. You guys. You gals. For the first time in my life, I started to feel sane. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. And Merry whatever you are celebrating this year. The very best to each and every
    18 points
  7. Just got off the phone with my Cardiologist. Um, I don't need a transplant anymore. In fact, they want to do surgery and close the hole in my heart and reroute some of the veins. I recently had a Heart Cath to measure the pressures in my lungs and the left and right sides of my heart, and my Cardiologist is fucking amazed. All of my pressures are pretty fucking close to normal. I am literally an unprecedented medical abnormality. What's happened to me does not happen to anyone ever. I'm on a couple of trial drugs [Tyvaso and Letaris] and apparently that shit fucking works. Let
    18 points
  8. religion is evil... it's so evil I can hardly find words to describe it's vileness... My deconversion, if you will, seems to have gone in a spiral... in steps. For a very long time even after I rejected christianity I clung to my various conceptions of god, or whatever—fuck—I don't even know what to call it anymore. I've studied and practiced various forms of theism.. from pantheistic witchcraft to Rosicrucianism, to Pentecostal, to... well, let's just say I've been to a lot of different branches of this faith thing, always thinking, nay believing, deep down that somehow there must be
    18 points
  9. For those of you who know of me and my deconversion/church exit, you know the stories of my crazy church and subsequent "shunning." It's not an official doctrine by any means, but I'm definitely on the outside, deliberately excluded from family and was on the end of some pretty vitriolic and nasty messages. In my tradition, we go to church twice on sundays and do not do anything else... the major sin is to spend money. I'm not sure why, but we're not allowed to work professionally (unless your role is deemed "urgent services" like doctors, nurses, ems, etc.) And absolutely you don't go sho
    18 points
  10. Hi, all. This is my first time posting my very own topic, and I apologize if this sort of story is old hat. Thanks for reading my cathartic word jumble! I grew up in a very conservative Baptist church in the south. Went to youth group and all the Christian summer camps, memorized all the verses and did all the mission trips. Won lots of youth group awards. I mean, I was an obsessive student at school, why wouldn't I be one at church too? I did my devotionals almost every day, prayed, and even tried to model my high school dating relationships on "Biblical principles." I went away to a
    18 points
  11. I just wanted to say hi and tell you that since the last time that I was here (not sure how many months) I haven't had a single manic episode and I have been living a normal life. I have the correct medicine and I have a secular psychiatrist. I have very little interest in religion. I just wanted to say hi and let you know all is well.
    17 points
  12. If someone told me that I would be on this website posting about de-converting from Christianity, I would have said laughed at the idea. Then probably started praying for that person to come to Jesus and for him to lift the veil from their eyes so that they could come to the truth. My name is Aaron, and I’m an ex-Christian lol! Is this what an AA meeting is like? This is awesome. I feel like I’m 16 again, rebelling against the machine all over again. I became a Christian when I was 18 years old. I attended a very loving church with an extremely empathetic pastor. For the first 4 years or
    17 points
  13. I posted my leaving Christianity testimony almost 2 years ago, but have another testimony. I am 78 years old, but still functioning very well. HA! At least physically. But there is a history of strokes on both sides of my family with a couple of sudden unexpected deaths. Due to a suddenly occurring hearing problem, they did an MRI of my head and found I have already had 3 tiny strokes. But they were not the cause of my hearing loss, and there are no other obvious after effects that aren't typical for my age. But my mortality has reared it's head!! My New Testimony? My d
    16 points
  14. In the matrix when Morpheus is ready to take Neo out of the matrix he offers him a choice. He holds two pills out front of him and says: "You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes." We here at EXCHRISTIAN have at some point for whatever reason taken that red pill. I've been trying to keep up with the posts of other new comers and all have mixed emotions. Some are elated, some are depressed, and some have gone as far
    16 points
  15. Hi, ex-c fam! Wanted to let everyone know that I was recently involved in a car accident where I fractured my skull, got myself a couple concussions, a subdural hemotoma, broken capillaries in my eye.....and I'm alive. I'm okay. I'm here, been healing for about 6 weeks now. And with all the "God has saved you," "what a MIRACLE," "God had his hand on you," "I've covered you in prayer," yada yada yada. No, I didn't see Jesus. No, I didn't experience some miraculous epiphany that I've been saved from my "sins." No, he did not use this to bring me back to him. No, he does
    16 points
  16. Hi, all! Sorry if this isn't the best place to post this topic. Mods, feel free to move it. I promise I'll get around to an ex-timony, when it feels right. As for now, I just wanted to let everyone know that things are going pretty decent between Mr. ag_NO_stic and I regarding our faith differences. He is "unsure" to the point that he's not actively calling himself a Christian. Now he will still resist me on many points, but I have been REALLY making myself keep my opinions and rants to myself, not challenging him on belief stuff. When it does occasionally come up, I've been practicing and for
    16 points
  17. I cried myself to sleep again last night. I had hoped that you would come to me and talk to me; I waited up for you. But you didn’t come… You have been so many things to me over the years. You have been my provider, my hope in moments of despair, my strength in times of weakness. You have been my dearest friend, and my deepest love. I have always felt so grateful to you and have tried to live up to your expectations of me. I have tried so hard to be the person you needed me to be. But lately all of that has changed. It may be me and not you; I don’t know. You seem so distant.
    16 points
  18. I think I may have mentioned previously that I have not worked for the last five years due to physical and mental health issues. The damage 'the church' did to me contributed significantly to my health problems. For the last five years there have been many times I was hospitalized, I have been that ill. So to finally be able to get a casual job (as well as p/t study) is a demonstration of just how far I have come. I am so thrilled to be feeling kinda normal. The illnesses are not cured but I am stable. I have no doubt that being out of christianity for the last 18 months has helped, as has bei
    16 points
  19. Why would you feel sorry? You know very little about women, not surprising... Being female I have had the opportunity to speak to a lot of other women… a lot of us DO NOT WANT to get married. It's not the guy, it's us. There are many good reasons not to get married, independence, financial autonomy, etc. etc… and each women would have their own. Defining our relationships in new ways is part of the way culture and society is moving… most women make their own money these days and in a lot of cases getting married is not the best move. Commitment is very possible without marriage… and I'
    16 points
  20. So, I still keep in touch with a couple of my Catholic school friends, one of which was the daughter of my old math teacher. Well, I really liked my old math teacher, so I asked my friend to have her mom give me a call. I get a call at work yesterday from my old teacher and after we catch up for a bit, she mentions that her daughter told her that I was an atheist. I'm like, "Yep." She also says that she remembers getting a letter from the Archdiocese requesting information about me in 2005. So I'm like, "I've been excommunicated since 1999... why are they asking about me?" She tells
    16 points
  21. Stop reading my posts and telling my parents. This site is supposed to be confidential. You're a jerk and a jack ass whoever you are. Thanks also for hurting my folks. Good Christian actions. NOT.
    16 points
  22. I was raised in fairly conservative churches/schools. Gradually I started to move away from some of the more extreme elements of that, I believed in evolution, didn't take the Genesis creation narrative literally, was open to certain Bible stories being myths, exc.. Even since I was a little kid and first found out what gay people were I've never understood why anyone cared what gender you liked. The reason I ultimately rejected the whole thing isn't because of anything in the outside world, though, to go along with the whole idea of "faith" you need to accept believing in things that aren't v
    15 points
  23. I remember the first time I stumbled onto this website. I was deep in ministry, saving souls for Christ, and left the site in prayer for the souls of all those who’d turned away. Today, after 30 years of devotion to the faith I proclaimed as a kindergartner, I revealed to my husband of 11 years that I’m no longer a Christian. This five-year deconversion comes as the biggest part of a life change I’m going through. Personality-wise, nothing has changed, but as far as beliefs go, everything has. It’s challenging and unnerving, but necessary. My husband, who’s been in mi
    15 points
  24. It is with great sadness to learn of Marks' death this morning..... better known to us as BAA. Today most people refer to the internet and boards like these as if they weren't 'real' life. But the internet and boards like Ex-c are real life for many of us. It is part of our real life. And we get to know people in this internet world. And they become our friends. And it was part of BAAs' real life. For many, many years, people had no choice but to write long letters to each other and those letters were how people stayed in love.... and in touch with each other. Many tim
    15 points
  25. There's too much negativity in the world right now... I have deleted this post's content because I can't live with myself knowing that I've been contributing to all of it. Sorry, family.
    15 points
  26. The really nice thing that I have noticed, is that all most people here are so kind without any hope of a heavenly reward. You are so supportive, and I hope that one less child ( or adult) needs to go to bed afraid of hell or worrying that they have done enough to achieve heaven. I have always thought that if there is a god, whatever needed to be written would be on our hearts and not in a book. You have always been kind people because you have followed you heart and truth. So, it is not a high god that wants bless you, it is I , a simple human errant being. I am so glad to have your insight,
    15 points
  27. “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with god, and the Word was god… And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us.” So proclaims the gospel of St. John, the Beloved. We are, thus, invited to believe that jesus was, in fact, god. But should we? Does this claim of St. John’s stand up to what we “know” of god? Does this claim even stand up to the information provided in the other gospels? I propose we look at the divinity of jesus with just a modicum of simple logic, and I predict we will raise more questions than we answer upon the subject. For example, St. Matthew provi
    15 points
  28. This is my reply back to him. "i have pondered on what to say or if i even wanted to say anything. i told myself i wouldn't, but then again, i know myself better than that. i am done fighting and bickering and longing for a lost cause. i'm so sick and tired of all that and i have moved on. it isn't easy. i do still hold on to the past and i'm not ashamed to say i cling to it dearly, for in the end that is all we have left anymore. the wound rendered around 5 years ago hangs like the death of a loved one and you simply cannot ever completely forget them and the whole ordeal. i will not figh
    15 points
  29. “Who are you to question god? Who do you think you are that you would judge Him? You are a mere human—fallen, sinful, a disgusting, miserable wretch. Who are you to question your Creator, the Lord of Heaven and Earth, who loved you so much that He gave His only Son to die for you and save you from your sins? You should be falling at His feet and begging Him for mercy because you are a sinner and the wages of sin is death. God could crush you in a second and not think twice about it. The only reason He hasn’t already done so is because He wants to give you as many chances as possible to r
    15 points
  30. I'll pray for you because that's the nicest way of saying I'll do nothing.
    15 points
  31. I remember how happy I was to accept Jesus as my Savior at the age of 19 after being witnessed to by a good friend and watching “The Jesus Film”. Jesus, you promised me eternal life. What I got was 15 years of false and damaging beliefs and psychological manipulation and abuse. So, fuck you! I worshiped you privately and publicly. I made a fool of myself for you in front of many people. I annoyed family and friends for you. I told my loving mother that she was going to hell. I annoyed and no doubt amused convenience store clerks and toll booth operators for you. My reward? 15 years of psych
    15 points
  32. My grandma died last weekend at age 96, one month shy of her 97th birthday. She left instructions that she didn't want a funeral saying that as she had outlived all of her friends and most of her family (my dad being her sole surviving child) so she wished to be cremated and have her ashes added to my grandads in the veterans cemetery. She made sure to state that she wanted no priests, no prayers and none of her money to go to the church. She was born and raised a Catholic but turned against them when her sister had a still born baby and the church said as it was unbaptised and bor
    14 points
  33. I know I already don't feel *that* new on this site, but it really has only been a little over two weeks. After an emotional post at midnight this morning on a different thread, I am taking @Margee's advice and just taking a breather to focus on the positive things for a while. I truly feel I have gotten in over my head a bit in trying to "rush my deconversion" and "have all the answers ready" for all my loved ones. I want to really thank all of you for taking the time to post your thoughtful feedback when you really don't have to; hugs all around. Anyway, it's really high time I introduced my
    14 points
  34. Hello all! As I’m new to Ex-C, I thought I would take a moment to introduce myself and give a little background on how I stumbled upon this community. I grew up as a Roman Catholic in the Bible belt. Ironically, combining my geographical location with my belief system in a way isolated me from the evangelical Christians that inhabit much of the South. Catholics are a minority where I’m from and I would often receive questions such as “Catholics are Christians, right?” or “But, don’t you worship Mary?” This isolation in turn drove me to take refuge in Catholic communitie
    14 points
  35. Some good news today! The nurse from the surgeon's office called me today to take care of some paperwork, meds I take and past surgeries, etc. She also told me the name of my tumor, and explained that the word "carcinoma" in it was mis-leading; my tumor is actually pre-cancerous!!!!!!!! And it has not spread from what they can tell so far!!!!!!! They will still take it out, and the strange thing in the other breast is benign but will still be taken out and both will be biopsied. There should be NO chemo or radiation! There will still be surgery and I will get more details from the surgeo
    14 points
  36. Do you consider a book that begins with a talking snake and ends with a seven headed dragon to be non-fiction?
    14 points
  37. So I've been thinking about advertising schemes and branding and product pushing lately, just noting how someone comes along with a great brand that appeals as a direct counter-balance to the current thing a population of people is feeling bad, anxious, angry, or sad about... just at the right moment and the right time. Along comes a solution, a way to make you feel the exact positive opposite of that exact negative feeling! Just a few examples: Obesity becomes an issue for health or sexual confidence... sales for workout videos, exercise equipment, diet plans explode. Wages stay
    14 points
  38. As I was sitting on the throne earlier today perusing my copy of "Uncle John's Triumphant 20th Anniversary Bathroom Reader", I came across this glorious quote: "There is no more expensive thing than a free gift." - Michel de Montaigne As I read that glorious quote, it struck me how true it is when applied to Christianity. Christians love to go on about how salvation is a "free gift" from God. They won't shut up about it any more than they will about how Christianity allegedly isn't a religion, but a personal relationship with Jesus. Assuming for the sake of argument that the Christ
    14 points
  39. Here is my letter of what I would say to God. Thanks for reading. I admire each and every one of you for questioning things that were once the foundation of your life. I admire your courage. That couage serves a person very well in life. Dear God, I want so much to believe in you. Whenever something good, yet unexpected happens to me, I want to think it was you who was behind it. I want to think it was you behind setting up me and my boyfriend. I want to think it was you who led me to be bapized. I want to believe it was you there who helped me find the resources I needed to f
    14 points
  40. The temptation to end it with, "So fuck you." was almost unbearable, but I persevered.
    14 points
  41. I'm toying with the idea of responding. I go back and forth. I have typed this out but I have not sent it: (former mentor), I have debated whether or not to reply, but decided that while we may not see eye to eye, it is most respectful for me to at least acknowledge your concern. You're right that I do feel freedom. I no longer feel the need to answer to people who are picking and choosing from a set of ancient books written and re-written time and time again. I do not mean to offend you, as I fear this may, but I want to be honest with you about my thoughts. I do not perceive god to be "t
    14 points
  42. A strange thing happened yesterday. A strange, exhilirating thing that came out of nowhere, maybe like that ex-nihilo thing the cult apologists love to toss around at us. I had just opened up my car and was putting groceries in the trunk when a lady got out of her car and walked over to me. She had a copy of that WatchTower magazine which you know comes from the Jehovah Witness cult and with a nice smile she said 'hello' and tried to give me the copy. I polititely refrained and shared my background with her. We spoke mostly about the xtian cult and she agreed with me regarding it's sociopathic
    14 points
  43. I called Stephen Hawking about this. I got the machine, so I hung up.
    14 points
  44. I feel like I am completely, 100%, abso-fucking-lutely done with my personal deconversion process. I no longer have even a shred of doubt or an iota of fear. Do I regret coming down this path? Mostly no, but yeah, I do wish some things were the way they used to be. But overall Im much more at peace with my place in the universe. Although I occasionally still feel irritation or anger at xians when they say or do stupid shit, that will always be the case and isnt an emotion thats part of the deconversion itself. I'm free.
    14 points
  45. Okay, rant on: You are the little fucker that makes nonsensical dipshit arguments and comparisons at every turn, derailing thread after thread with your fucktarded, lameass, tapdancing defense of Christianity, who then whines and moans at every fucking turn about how fucking persecuted you are, and how nobody understands what you're saying when you're such a simple, simple man, and you whine about how everybody that points out that the things you say are retarded is making ad hominem attacks against you. Then, you pull shit like this little statement from out of fucking nowhere like the to
    14 points
  46. Hello, Ex-C community. I've roamed these forums on and off for over a decade, since shortly after deconverting about 15 years ago. Mine was a traumatic exit from the church, then it took me a few years to realize that the break was permanent. I'm an older woman (as implied by my name, I guess). I came to faith for the last time in my mid-30's, after a couple of decades of trying to find my way to something in which I could honestly believe, trying very hard to make a spiritual home somewhere. I blindly accepted the lie that children require spiritual training to become moral adults
    13 points
  47. Hello, My name is Jerry, I am a closet atheist, and recovering Christian. It isn't that I'm ashamed of being an atheist. I'm proud of myself for realizing the lies that I've been spoon fed over the years, and for coming out of the dark ages. I must remain closeted in fear of losing my family, friends, even my job. You see, my wife is a still a practicing, and enthusiastic, Christian. I must go through the actions and pretend to believe what she does in order to retain my family. As terrible, and deceitful, as that is, it's the life I've created for myself. I first began to questio
    13 points
  48. I've been a member of these forums for a few years, mostly just lurking and very occasionally commenting. I've never actually dropped my story in here. Like most white Americans, I was born into christianity. My dad was never what you would call steadfast, or devout, but he claimed to be a Christian and as far as I know, still does. My mother on the other hand, was a christian fundamentalist, through and through. She was fanatic about her faith, and tried to instill that fanaticism in my brother and I. When we were little, it worked. It was easy. Why wouldn’t it be? We were little
    13 points
  49. It is my intention to encourage you on your journey......You wonderful young 'freethinkers' on EX-c! A few of my thoughts this morning. You are the new generation of 'rebels' who, through a lot of hard work and persecution, will have the ability to alter the world you live in. It's not going to be easy. You cannot change people and their old ways quickly - you can only influence them.... probably slowly. But please, march ahead anyway and do not be afraid to be different. You young ones have dug your head out of the sand much earlier than some of us older people and have truly opened you
    13 points
  50. Reading the Bible will make you feel better because it will turn you into an atheist.
    13 points


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