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  1. I am finally ready to share my story. I read many testimonies on here in the beginning of my deconversion that really helped me feel less alone. Maybe my story will help someone too. I grew up in a relaxed Christian home. My mom was very involved in the church, but we didn't live out our faith at home. My childhood was normal and I didn't become a devout Christian until I was in college. We attended church reguarly, but our Pastor didn't really preach from the Bible. He would throw a verse into his sermons now and then, but every service was more of a feel good, God loves you sort
    13 points
  2. Hello, Ex-C community. I've roamed these forums on and off for over a decade, since shortly after deconverting about 15 years ago. Mine was a traumatic exit from the church, then it took me a few years to realize that the break was permanent. I'm an older woman (as implied by my name, I guess). I came to faith for the last time in my mid-30's, after a couple of decades of trying to find my way to something in which I could honestly believe, trying very hard to make a spiritual home somewhere. I blindly accepted the lie that children require spiritual training to become moral adults
    13 points
  3. I am so glad to see that ExC is still here engaging in its very important mission. I see a lot of familiar names and a good number of new members. I am glad. I first came here in 2009 and received an incredible amount of help in my deconversion (is that term still used here?). I found this place to be a very welcoming community and I am sure it still is. Untold thousands have been helped by webmdave’s website/forums, assisted by the capable moderators and caring members. if anyone is interested, you can find some of my old postings buried somewhere here. But one th
    13 points
  4. Seriously? Every person who comes into these forums is brave as fuck. Many have lost family, friends, careers. Some have given up positions of power and influence. Some people here have overcome extreme toxicity and learned compassion. A lot of them still hurt and grieve. There's nothing special about you just because you hate your imaginary friend; and trying to turn this into a "my dick's bigger" contest is banal and childish.
    11 points
  5. Leia, if I'm being honest, I'm concerned about how much the hateful environment in which you were submerged might have affected you. I'd caution against allowing their hatred of others become your hatred of them. Anger has its place in life, and certainly in the deconversion process; but either we master and use it for good, or it masters and uses us, for results that may be less than good.
    11 points
  6. I've never properly thanked you guys and this site for helping me to deconvert. Deconversion is best for people who are mentally ill. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for having patience with me. I haven't had one manic attack since I spoke to you last. At this stage I am fully deconverted. Christianity seems like a fairytale to me now. I have read many books by sensible non christian writers that gave me a new perspective. I am glad this site still exists. It is indeed valuable to many individuals. Anyway, my best wishes to all of you.
    11 points
  7. If you are familiar with my introduction and as mentioned in some of my posts you will know that I was a no doubter who was led away from the faith, nor did I experience any adverse life events or mistreatment at the hands of, or in the name of, christianity. Instead, I was a rock solid believer who had reached some uncomfortable, but necessary conclusions earlier in life, but in no way did these unusual - for a Southern Baptist - beliefs impair my belief in god or Jesus Christ. My descent into deconversion began in my quest to help my wife believe. She had questions - lots of que
    10 points
  8. Is anyone else amazed at how clear their mind is since deconverting? When I was a Christian, I was always praying in my head, apologizing to God for thoughts that weren't Christ-like, remembering scriptures...It was exhausting! Ever since I quit believing in God, I feel so much better! Anyone else experience this?
    10 points
  9. Hello Disgruntled, I think "sin" is a theological construct best left at the door. It is Christianity's tool to create a false need, i.e. "I am damned and need to be saved" so that Christianity can then offer [ETA: or "sell you"] the solution to the false need it created. We all do wrong things and we lead better lives as we grow in moral character. To do that does not call for the theological construct, "sin," and in fact I think one's moral character is much firmer when one acts because the thing is good rather than out of fear that God will get you.
    10 points
  10. Hello everyone my name is Tim, I just deconverted this week and I feel so much better. I had some serious doubts about christianity all my life, And when I found this website and read a few testomonials it gave me the strength to finnaly break free from that evil cult. I feel so grateful for the support and I am looking forward to meeting all of you and posting my own story soon.
    10 points
  11. Hi Krys! I know that fear is an irrational thing, but sometimes a look at the long view can put things into their proper perspective. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extinction_event As far as we know there have been five major extinction events in Earth's 4.5 billion year history. Even the least of them dwarfs what's happening today. And after each one, when it seemed that life couldn't possibly recover... after a few million years it did. Even after... T H E G R E A T D Y I N G ...when 96% of all sea life and 70%
    9 points
  12. While you may not lack for courage Leia, you don't seem to have gained any freedom from the god you hate so much. A slave who hates their master, but who can do nothing to set themselves free from him can have all the courage in the world. But their courage will not set them free. They will remain a slave, albeit a rebellious one. So long as they remain obsessed with vengeance, retribution and reprisals, this god has total power over them. I cannot speak for anyone else here, but as an atheist I have totally freed myself from
    9 points
  13. I asked that question on a Christian site where I’m active. To my surprise a hard core fundamentalist acknowledged that God doesn’t seem to be in the prayer answering business. He then referenced all the historical suffering Christians have had to endure. He ended his thoughts by stating that it’s foolish to expect God to respond to prayer. I was frankly shocked by his honesty. This guy is a Bible quoting fundy, that apparently has been struck by reality. I don’t know that he’s ready to leave the faith just yet, but it seems that reality has slapped him in his face.
    9 points
  14. Funny how god could create Adam from dust and Eve from a rib; but he had to impregnate another man's fiance to become human himself.
    9 points
  15. As moderators, we have this entire website under our purview. This includes newly deconverted members who are still struggling, christians who are facing crises of faith, and lurkers who might be anywhere on the spectrum. When one member actively seeks to undermine our primary purpose, we have to weigh the needs of everyone against the possibility of offending the one who was deliberately running riot in several forums. If sparing further trauma to already traumatized members means seeming to disrespect the one, I'm comfortable with that. Because my purpose here is reaching out to other re
    9 points
  16. I left my last non-denominational Christian church more than 15 years ago, after trying to be the “perfect Christian” for almost 20 years, but my journey of being in a love/hate relationship with God started in 2001. I had been married 362 days before and had just left my emotionally and physically abusive husband. I hadn't yet been hit but had been hurt in other ways and knew, the night before, that if I didn't leave, I would be hit soon. I had married this man, after a whirlwind dating experience, 8 months after we had met. I was 29, a month shy of 30, when we married, and I was sure that Go
    9 points
  17. Many of us, myself included, went through a part of our deconversion where we thought of ourselves as Deists. Meaning having a belief in some supreme but impersonal intelligence, as opposed to a deity who takes an interest in the lives of humans. After giving up belief in the God of the Bible, it can feel like too big a step to not believe that there is anybody "in charge" of the universe. Maybe there is, maybe there isn't. Or maybe the closest thing to somebody being in charge is the existence of the laws of physics. In any case, the Deist and the non-Deist both have to live their lives
    9 points
  18. I’ve been wanting to post my story for over a year now. I start and then never finish. I don’t want to bore everyone with all of my details, but it’s hard to boil everything down - well, here goes My deconversion started about 3 years ago, I think. My belief system was ultra conservative Catholic. So much so that other Catholics didn’t necessarily know where I was coming from. I had what I believed to be a “born again moment” back in 2000. Prior to that, I was a run of the mill Catholic, checking my boxes of following the faith and trying to be a “good person”. The interesting twi
    9 points
  19. Hi, after many years of questioning my Christian faith, last night I became an atheist. I've 40 years of god and religion to undo in my thinking. My brain is on overdrive and feels like it's about to explode. It's all a bit scary at the moment.
    9 points
  20. My moment of clarity came while watching a documentary aboard a plane. The documentary was on the Greek gods. Stories I've read many times before. A documentary I've probably seen before. But for some reason, on this flight, I was suddenly struck with the realization that my God was no different than any of the other Greek gods. But why did it click this particular time? I've been thinking about that question. Here's what I came up with. First of all, I don't think it was as sudden as it seemed. It was more like opening a new pickle jar. You struggle, adjust your grip, tap the lid,
    9 points
  21. Well, I just got back from the group meetup. The people there were nice and supportive, and It was really good to be able to talk with people who have the same mindset. One of the group leaders is a former minister who's now an atheist, so that was very interesting to see. I don't feel quite as alone anymore.
    9 points
  22. Hello, dearest Ex-C friends! I logged in the other day and responded to a few posts, I was so happy to see some familiar names and received a few messages of greeting from some old friends. For those of you I have not met or interacted with, this post will hopefully bring you some hope, peace, and encouragement. Here is my original post, so long ago. I have had years now to really sift through my upbringing and some of the lasting scars I will carry with me because of the brand of Christianity that was imposed on me. Everyone here was right, it gets so much better! If you are where I was so l
    8 points
  23. If there are any spelling errors or pronunciation errors in this article then I ask for forgiveness in Jesus's name. Amen!!! Here are my reasons for deconversion. It's more to do with the reasons why, rather than telling my story, after all that's what matters. Some of my points are from great minds other than myself, and I do not appologise for this as these people have inspired myself and many others to lose faith. I started losing my belief with the 1st scenario below. To me this is ENOUGH proof that Bible god is NOT real Scenario I'm very interested in coming
    8 points
  24. I was raised by strict christian parents and of course the result was adverse childhood events codependency people pleasing lack of boundaries. I am a retired RN. I have given many churches their chance but always run into cognitive dissonance hypocritical behavior control issues. I have faith but will never enter another church again. I am in charge of my own life. How sad to be treated so poorly by self professed Christian's multiple times and be aware of the tactics . I am a new member. This is my first post.
    8 points
  25. I'm glad you're here, @WWOAC. Yes, you were a Christian. If you called yourself a Christian that's what you were. If you are not anymore then that's great! Don't get caught up in the constant goal-post shifting and weaponized delegitimization of people's experiences. They beckon you to do that because it helps them ignore counter-evidence when they delegitimize the experiences and perspectives of anyone who disagrees with them, outright. Christians like to claim ownership of everything, but in reality they robbed most things from other cultures - like components of their own mythic
    8 points
  26. They were doing the same thing when I was your age; and the only thing that happened was a meteor killed my pet dinosaur.
    8 points
  27. To help break the boredom and cabin fever, I took a camping trip to a remote rural area and took our dog with me. Couldn't get my wife to go. We took all the food we needed, and enjoyed long hikes in a "badlands" area that had been opened up recently. Saw all kinds of wildlife, and the largest herd of buffalo I have ever seen. And one was a rare white buffalo. The only chance of exposure, or exposing anyone else, was refueling at a gas station, and I minimized that with Clorox wipes. Western Kansas isn't the most spectacular place in the world, but does have some interesting features if
    8 points
  28. Hi everyone, I am a lifelong Catholic who has recently decided that religion (at the very least) is man made. I went from carrying a rosary everywhere I went to reading the God Delusion in one weekend. I was watching a documentary on the Greek gods, and just like that I was overwhelmed with the realization that my God was no different than any other. That my scripture was no more inspired than any other. I cant see my religion (any religion) as faith any more. All I can see now is a sort of mob like swelling of "beliefs." Us vs. them. We're righteous. They're not.
    8 points
  29. I was engaged to a christian once. It didnt work out... Also, she was psycho.
    8 points
  30. Religion is about control through fear. Priests figured that out a very long time ago. Strange how few believers ever see through it.
    8 points
  31. Only when they are interested in wanting to know answers. Remember how we were 'open' to wanting to question the bible when we arrived here at Ex-c? If they are not open, you will get defensive answers as to why they are right. I was one of them many years ago. I would not listen. So I feel that it is a waste of time. Most people have to be ready to hear these truths about the bible. I would think that millions of people have their doubts (the same as I did) but do not want to face the truth. As we all know, finding out the truth can be devastating. Losing faith is the single most hard thing
    8 points
  32. I once went through a checkpoint in Belfast and the Gardai asked for my religion. I stated that I was an atheist. Their response: Right, but is it the Catholic god or the Protestant god you don't believe in?
    8 points
  33. John Steinguard announces his renouncement. Sights problem in Bible that rampant misogyny indicates books where written by, and in the interest of, ancient men of the time(s). Smart boy! I wonder how many of his fans will take note... https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/hawk-nelson-religion-christian-rock-songs-god-a9533286.html
    7 points
  34. That's kind of a weird argument to make. Those same Judeo-Christian values, while static in the book, have been wholesale reinterpreted to meet the whims of the society. You should ask them to clarify which values exactly? Western Society has included these very specific religious gems: The Inquisition Indulgences (sold for hundreds of years) The Crusades Salem Witch Trials European Wars of religion (30 years war among others) And the Professor's inclusion: Divine Right Manifest Destiny Your questioner needs t
    7 points
  35. When I was 6 years old, I asked my mother what hell would be like. With the sincere intensity that only a fundamentalist, evangelical, pentecostal sadist can inflict, she told me to imagine the absolute worst pain I could ever endure and that would only be a bee sting compared to hell. Eyes inflamed, she told this to a (vividly imaginative) 6 year old boy. She enjoyed inflicting pain on others; and still does. For her, it is a means of expressing the misery she suffers herself. It is a means of controlling others because she feels out of control herself. She inflicts guilt on others to k
    7 points
  36. Welcome! Keeping a false peace by lying about who you are serves no one. You are as entitled to your own opinions as anyone else. Many Christians can't handle the fact that lots of people finally see the sham of religion. How they react to that reality is not your fault. It's usually the same story; "It would break my heart if you don't believe what I believe" "I'm so afraid for your soul" "What did we do wrong to make you do this?" How can you do this to us?" .... and blah, blah, blah. Do not allow their emotional blackmail dictate how you live your life honestly. There may be som
    7 points
  37. I think what you’re referring to is called rationalizing a cognitive dissonance. All religious people have to do this in order for the Bible to make sense in their minds. Why do intelligent people believe things that are not believable or scientifically possible? Google the term “cognitive bias” and you will find the answer.
    7 points
  38. Hi @2022grad and welcome to Ex-Christian! Well, 2020 has not been the most fun year so far but it’s nothing remarkable when you look back even a little bit. Times like 1968, World War 2, World War 1, the American Civil War, the Black Death etc etc all must have seemed like the End Times. Christians have been predicting an imminent end of the world for as long as there have been Christians. Jesus himself seemed to think he would return very soon after his death to set up God’s kingdom. It didn’t happen so later writings gradually changed the story to put it off in the never-neve
    7 points
  39. I sent an email to Jon inviting him to this website.
    7 points
  40. Hello All, Firstly, I hope that you all are well during this challenging time. I found this site today actually, because I was just looking for support. I would like to share my story and hope to connect to any other individuals who have similar stories and maybe we can just support one another on our journeys. My family was very religious and the practice of Christianity goes back generations. I am of African American decent and so religion and church in general played a huge part in my ancestors lives, post slavery. It gave the black community a safe space to sociali
    7 points
  41. The well dressed man entered the chemist shop. He paused to scan the shelves packed with boxes and bottles. With a sigh, he made his way to the counter. "Good morning sir. How can I help you today?" said the pharmacist, dressed in his customary white lab coat, the white on black name tag proudly announcing his name as John. "Yes, good morning. I've left the doctors office where I was told I have the flu. When I asked the doctor what I should take he said 'there is nothing for it, anything I give you would be no better than a placebo', so hence I'm here to buy a placebo." "Err
    7 points
  42. No one, including you has had a god moment, because there is no such thing as god. Most of us here had what we thought were god moments, but later realised it was just wishful thinking/hallucination/crowd hype/co incidence etc. So it's nothing to be sad about, we have not walked away from god, as there is no god. We walked away from the beliefs that were taught to us from a young age. We simply realised god doesn't exist. Prayers aren't answered and there is no one out there intervening in any way. That's why there is so much bad stuff in the world.. But there is also good stuff. We as humans
    7 points
  43. Don't be afraid to do a lot of crying honey because it helps dissipate the hate and anger. I was very angry for a long time. It's called grief. Don't be afraid of it. You are probably a gentle person who is angry at yourself because we got duped and brainwashed by the lie of the christian doctrine. Today, a very good acquaintance of mine (who runs the corner store and I know him fairly well) told me that this virus was here because Jesus is sending a clear message for people to go back to church. If I didn't like him so much, I could have punched his face in. I guess I still need c
    7 points
  44. WOW! Is this the first documented occurrence of Ex-C married couples both finding their way out of the mind-control? I envy you, @PSR!
    7 points
  45. I can sympathize with wanting there to be more. If you're looking for a saviour, though, it seems to me that a God who gets so upset over a piece of fruit that he needs to resort to human sacrifice is probably not the best candidate.
    7 points
  46. A religion designed by a perfect god should not have turned out so imperfectly.
    7 points
  47. Hello, my name is Joseph. I’m currently 23 years old and have been closeted gay since I was 14. I spent years of my life questioning my sexuality and what I liked and didn’t like. For all of those years, I isolated myself more and more. I also became angry and irritable towards my family. My mom would inquire about my attitude, but I would always shrug off her questions as me just being a “moody teenager” or being under stress from school. In reality though, I was keeping this major part of my life a secret and was even resenting her and my family for making me feel lik
    7 points
  48. No snark; but i spent more than 30 years thinking about it. We are discussing evidence for an omnipresent god. If he is everywhere, I should be able to reproduce your experience of him.
    7 points
  49. Oh for goodness sake. As florduh said, a wake up to what? The fact we're going to "hell", that place that Christianity invented when the old testament books of the Jewish religion wasn't enough to control people? Edit: Welcome to ex-c. Forgive my impatience but I was brainwashed for 36 years about the "precious treasure" of gods existence before I woke up. Why did I wake up? Let's quote Dan Barker again - basically, I refuse to worship evil: "I do understand what love is, and that is one of the reasons I can never again be a Christian. Love is not self denial. L
    7 points


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