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  1. I am finally ready to share my story. I read many testimonies on here in the beginning of my deconversion that really helped me feel less alone. Maybe my story will help someone too. I grew up in a relaxed Christian home. My mom was very involved in the church, but we didn't live out our faith at home. My childhood was normal and I didn't become a devout Christian until I was in college. We attended church reguarly, but our Pastor didn't really preach from the Bible. He would throw a verse into his sermons now and then, but every service was more of a feel good, God loves you sort
    13 points
  2. Hello, Ex-C community. I've roamed these forums on and off for over a decade, since shortly after deconverting about 15 years ago. Mine was a traumatic exit from the church, then it took me a few years to realize that the break was permanent. I'm an older woman (as implied by my name, I guess). I came to faith for the last time in my mid-30's, after a couple of decades of trying to find my way to something in which I could honestly believe, trying very hard to make a spiritual home somewhere. I blindly accepted the lie that children require spiritual training to become moral adults
    13 points
  3. Hi all. I don't think I've told my story in full here, so now is as good a time as any. It's fairly long, but thank you for reading in advance and I hope it helps somebody. My Story - From a pastors kid to an atheist. Religious History I was a Christian from birth for 32 1/2 years of my life. When I was born my parents were in a non denominational church which followed the teachings of a Pentecostal (Ex Baptist) divine healing preacher. Several years after I was born my parents left the church over doctrinal disagreements and started house meetings. This continued for some yea
    11 points
  4. Seriously? Every person who comes into these forums is brave as fuck. Many have lost family, friends, careers. Some have given up positions of power and influence. Some people here have overcome extreme toxicity and learned compassion. A lot of them still hurt and grieve. There's nothing special about you just because you hate your imaginary friend; and trying to turn this into a "my dick's bigger" contest is banal and childish.
    11 points
  5. I came across a bullet point list of arguments for and against Christianity, so stealing that and adding my thoughts I came up with the speed list below. Of course complex arguments done in short hand will often miss points which people consider critical, but as a quick main point view I think it works. Are there others in either list that you consider strong or common enough to be worth including? Arguments For: Kalam Cosmological – “Everything has a creator”, weak because that is an unfounded assertion, we have only one example of a universe and nothing to compare to.
    10 points
  6. I’ve been reading on here on and off for the past 5 years or so. I finally joined so I guess I’ll introduce myself and try to keep it short so it doesn’t turn into my ex testimony. I’m in my early 40s. I grew up going to a Bible Church, which is where I met my husband as a teenager. He went to Bible college, we married and he became the pastor of that same church we grew up in. We had a couple of kids who are in their late teens now. I had always had doubts since childhood, I never told anyone. Instead of following those doubts, I tried to silence them. I knew that doubts equaled hell so I t
    10 points
  7. Hey everyone! User and moderator TABA reached out to me over social media and invited me to join this forum. I've perused a few threads here and I like what I'm seeing. This seems like a great community. A bit about me: I spent the majority of my life so far in a non-denominational evangelical church, but it had a Baptist lean due to the culture here in my Bible Belt town. I deconverted quite a while ago (it all started when I resolved to read the Bible all the way through), went through the pain, recovered, and now live a pretty awesome life on the other side of religi
    10 points
  8. Hello, dearest Ex-C friends! I logged in the other day and responded to a few posts, I was so happy to see some familiar names and received a few messages of greeting from some old friends. For those of you I have not met or interacted with, this post will hopefully bring you some hope, peace, and encouragement. Here is my original post, so long ago. I have had years now to really sift through my upbringing and some of the lasting scars I will carry with me because of the brand of Christianity that was imposed on me. Everyone here was right, it gets so much better! If you are where I was so l
    10 points
  9. If you are familiar with my introduction and as mentioned in some of my posts you will know that I was a no doubter who was led away from the faith, nor did I experience any adverse life events or mistreatment at the hands of, or in the name of, christianity. Instead, I was a rock solid believer who had reached some uncomfortable, but necessary conclusions earlier in life, but in no way did these unusual - for a Southern Baptist - beliefs impair my belief in god or Jesus Christ. My descent into deconversion began in my quest to help my wife believe. She had questions - lots of que
    10 points
  10. Hi Krys! I know that fear is an irrational thing, but sometimes a look at the long view can put things into their proper perspective. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extinction_event As far as we know there have been five major extinction events in Earth's 4.5 billion year history. Even the least of them dwarfs what's happening today. And after each one, when it seemed that life couldn't possibly recover... after a few million years it did. Even after... T H E G R E A T D Y I N G ...when 96% of all sea life and 70%
    9 points
  11. While you may not lack for courage Leia, you don't seem to have gained any freedom from the god you hate so much. A slave who hates their master, but who can do nothing to set themselves free from him can have all the courage in the world. But their courage will not set them free. They will remain a slave, albeit a rebellious one. So long as they remain obsessed with vengeance, retribution and reprisals, this god has total power over them. I cannot speak for anyone else here, but as an atheist I have totally freed myself from
    9 points
  12. Funny how god could create Adam from dust and Eve from a rib; but he had to impregnate another man's fiance to become human himself.
    9 points
  13. As moderators, we have this entire website under our purview. This includes newly deconverted members who are still struggling, christians who are facing crises of faith, and lurkers who might be anywhere on the spectrum. When one member actively seeks to undermine our primary purpose, we have to weigh the needs of everyone against the possibility of offending the one who was deliberately running riot in several forums. If sparing further trauma to already traumatized members means seeming to disrespect the one, I'm comfortable with that. Because my purpose here is reaching out to other re
    9 points
  14. I left my last non-denominational Christian church more than 15 years ago, after trying to be the “perfect Christian” for almost 20 years, but my journey of being in a love/hate relationship with God started in 2001. I had been married 362 days before and had just left my emotionally and physically abusive husband. I hadn't yet been hit but had been hurt in other ways and knew, the night before, that if I didn't leave, I would be hit soon. I had married this man, after a whirlwind dating experience, 8 months after we had met. I was 29, a month shy of 30, when we married, and I was sure that Go
    9 points
  15. I came here with an earlier account as a Christian. I read articles on the ex Christian website and later joined the forum. I had a different screen name, my own name, but paranoia caused me to ask florduh to delete the account for me. In retrospect it was irrational paranoia. I didn't know I could have changed my name without creating a new account. I went in and out of hypomania, mania, and depression. My medication was inadequate. I drove everybody crazy. I had a fear of hell and the Christian god. I started reading more about the inadeqacy of the bible. I read a lot of li
    8 points
  16. If there are any spelling errors or pronunciation errors in this article then I ask for forgiveness in Jesus's name. Amen!!! Here are my reasons for deconversion. It's more to do with the reasons why, rather than telling my story, after all that's what matters. Some of my points are from great minds other than myself, and I do not appologise for this as these people have inspired myself and many others to lose faith. I started losing my belief with the 1st scenario below. To me this is ENOUGH proof that Bible god is NOT real Scenario I'm very interested in coming
    8 points
  17. I was raised by strict christian parents and of course the result was adverse childhood events codependency people pleasing lack of boundaries. I am a retired RN. I have given many churches their chance but always run into cognitive dissonance hypocritical behavior control issues. I have faith but will never enter another church again. I am in charge of my own life. How sad to be treated so poorly by self professed Christian's multiple times and be aware of the tactics . I am a new member. This is my first post.
    8 points
  18. I'm glad you're here, @WWOAC. Yes, you were a Christian. If you called yourself a Christian that's what you were. If you are not anymore then that's great! Don't get caught up in the constant goal-post shifting and weaponized delegitimization of people's experiences. They beckon you to do that because it helps them ignore counter-evidence when they delegitimize the experiences and perspectives of anyone who disagrees with them, outright. Christians like to claim ownership of everything, but in reality they robbed most things from other cultures - like components of their own mythic
    8 points
  19. They were doing the same thing when I was your age; and the only thing that happened was a meteor killed my pet dinosaur.
    8 points
  20. I sent an email to Jon inviting him to this website.
    8 points
  21. I used to believe that even the strongest atheists fear God and hell, when I was a Christian. I am now an agnostic atheist and I don't fear the supposed hell and the Christian god. It is for real believe me. Dawkins doesn't lose sleep over God and hell. He might however lose sleep over the effects of the story of hell and God on millions of innocents like you.
    7 points
  22. You are projecting your own phobia onto others and insisting it is real. I have no fear of Zeus, Odin, Ra, Allah, Spiderman, Freddy Krueger, or any other imaginary person/being. I know that it can be hard to distinguish between reality and a strongly felt phobia, but there are doctors who can help you if you seek help. We can't cure you, only keep reminding you and showing you evidence. But deeply ingrained fears sometimes take medications and a caring guide to reset. That isn't a slam, it is simply the reality of brain chemistry.
    7 points
  23. I was born in September of 1976, in the USSR, Kiev City that now is the capital of Ukraine. I’m the oldest of my 3 siblings. 1970s were the years of Christian persecution. I don’t remember the 70s much, but I do remember mid 1980s, with Gorbachev coming into power as the time of more freedoms for the Christians, especially the late 1980s that saw public preaching in the streets. As fate would have it, my parents were very active in the Evangelical Baptist church. My dad was very close with the Senior Pastor and my mom sang in the choir. Those of you from the US may not appreciate the
    7 points
  24. Hey, so I’ve been wanting to post here for awhile, and I’m still kind of confused on how to post in what sections as a new member, but here I am! I’m kind of nervous, but I guess I’ll just go ahead. I’m in my early twenties and last year I officially left Christianity. I grew up conservative and homeschooled in the southern United States, and I graduated college almost two years ago. Three years ago I almost killed my self for a lot of reasons, but one of them was hating myself for being bisexual. I’ve known since I was about 11 that I was bisexual, at least in the loosest underst
    7 points
  25. Hey everyone, Well I like to check in from time to time. I really should be more active but I do good to keep up with my ever changing life the past couple of years. This ones gonna be a bit of a bummer. As you all know Lady Bishop and I have had a rocky road of things, especially after I deconverted. The past two years we have dealt with major illness, deaths in the family, and of course covid 19 like everyone else. We are officially filing for divorce. Its not all because of our religious differences but its probably one of the biggest issues in recent years. It set us apart on a
    7 points
  26. John Steinguard announces his renouncement. Sights problem in Bible that rampant misogyny indicates books where written by, and in the interest of, ancient men of the time(s). Smart boy! I wonder how many of his fans will take note... https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/hawk-nelson-religion-christian-rock-songs-god-a9533286.html
    7 points
  27. That's kind of a weird argument to make. Those same Judeo-Christian values, while static in the book, have been wholesale reinterpreted to meet the whims of the society. You should ask them to clarify which values exactly? Western Society has included these very specific religious gems: The Inquisition Indulgences (sold for hundreds of years) The Crusades Salem Witch Trials European Wars of religion (30 years war among others) And the Professor's inclusion: Divine Right Manifest Destiny Your questioner needs t
    7 points
  28. Longer than intended, but covers the subject well. This has been a hard thing and I can't really tell anyone because in my part of the country, it will professionally destroy you to not be Christian. I mean sure, the foreigners can worship their false gods, but as a native Southerner, you better be Christian - type doesn't matter so much, just as long as not mormon or jehovah's witness (those are cults after all). Catholics are a bit dicey, but they're probably going to heaven so long as they actually believe in Jesus, though the whole "Mary worship" is nonsense. Grew
    7 points
  29. When I was 6 years old, I asked my mother what hell would be like. With the sincere intensity that only a fundamentalist, evangelical, pentecostal sadist can inflict, she told me to imagine the absolute worst pain I could ever endure and that would only be a bee sting compared to hell. Eyes inflamed, she told this to a (vividly imaginative) 6 year old boy. She enjoyed inflicting pain on others; and still does. For her, it is a means of expressing the misery she suffers herself. It is a means of controlling others because she feels out of control herself. She inflicts guilt on others to k
    7 points
  30. ( flings the door open) Mooom! daaad! I’m hoooome! ( studio audience applause) OMG it’s been 6 years since I last visited the ExC Forums! i see some old faces: Margee, Florduh, Redneck Professor! You guys were part of the ExC generation that raised me. Seriously, I started here in like 2007 as a terrified young adult who had just left Bible college and could barely find my vagina with both hands! You guys were with me through awkward virginity losing and coming out to the family and my 4-year “ let’s date a Christian” phase. I took a long break b
    7 points
  31. Welcome! Keeping a false peace by lying about who you are serves no one. You are as entitled to your own opinions as anyone else. Many Christians can't handle the fact that lots of people finally see the sham of religion. How they react to that reality is not your fault. It's usually the same story; "It would break my heart if you don't believe what I believe" "I'm so afraid for your soul" "What did we do wrong to make you do this?" How can you do this to us?" .... and blah, blah, blah. Do not allow their emotional blackmail dictate how you live your life honestly. There may be som
    7 points
  32. I think what you’re referring to is called rationalizing a cognitive dissonance. All religious people have to do this in order for the Bible to make sense in their minds. Why do intelligent people believe things that are not believable or scientifically possible? Google the term “cognitive bias” and you will find the answer.
    7 points
  33. Hi @2022grad and welcome to Ex-Christian! Well, 2020 has not been the most fun year so far but it’s nothing remarkable when you look back even a little bit. Times like 1968, World War 2, World War 1, the American Civil War, the Black Death etc etc all must have seemed like the End Times. Christians have been predicting an imminent end of the world for as long as there have been Christians. Jesus himself seemed to think he would return very soon after his death to set up God’s kingdom. It didn’t happen so later writings gradually changed the story to put it off in the never-neve
    7 points
  34. Well it's simple Dear Religious person. The reason we don't just shut up is best illustrated by the true story below that is happening as we speak. Most countries, including the US have a thing called the separation of Church and State. Well kinda, in the UK the Church of England still has massive state privileges, and in the US... well it's the land of the religious shitshow. I do apologise on behalf of NZ for sending Ray Comfort to you. However, lets both agree that the religious nutbags over there deserved Mr Banana man. As part of this separation of Church and stat
    6 points
  35. Yesterday I made an introduction, so I guess today I’ll share my long walk away from Christianity. I grew up going to a Bible Church, it was all I had ever known. When I was about 5/6 I got “saved” by this I mean it was explained to our children’s church class that those who believe in Jesus will go to a wonderful place with streets of gold and mansions when we die and those who don’t believe will go to a place of eternal fire and pain and suffering. There wasn’t much of a choice involved, what young child would choose the place of pain over being rich? The entire “decision” was based on app
    6 points
  36. "Sin" is willfully and deliberately violating "God's will." It's nonsense. It's still a good idea to behave responsibly and try to do the best you can when interacting with others in real life. Intention counts for more than imagined technicalities.
    6 points
  37. Hey. We probably aren’t supposed to say our real names on here so I won’t lol. For some months, I’ve been wanting to leave Christianity but the fear of hell has held me back. I get cautious of so many things being a sin and it has made my life miserable. I just want to be a “normal” teen and enjoy life again but this “what if I’m wrong and I made the wrong choice” thing is always here with me. Hell is scary to say the least and I don’t want to end up there. Hopefully this miserable stage will pass…I’d like to learn more about the origins of the Old Testament, New Testament, Hell, and Christian
    6 points
  38. Hey everyone, I know I told you all from the beginning that My oldest son was atheist, which ended up finalizing my own deconversion. But last year his brother also denounced Christianity. He had been going to church but there was alot about the churches teachings that bothered him. Especially the teachings against homosexuality. He isn't homosexual himself but his brother is bi and he has a lot of friends that are. I talked to him a lot about the things I was seeing concerning the Bible. I'm glad he is getting out now and not wasting a good portion of life on it. The w
    6 points
  39. Hi all, I'm glad I found this site and have been reading some posts the past few days. I usually never post online as I'm a very private person, but I had a revelation on Monday that Christianity is false and actually leads people astray and causes them to waste their money, time and the only life they have. Warning: this is really rambly because I'm writing on my phone and no space to organize. Sorry. So I got sick and had to "stay home" from work, i.e. not log in haha. And I never read the news much (too depressing), but ever since covid-19, I have read the news,
    6 points
  40. Brains are chemically active "machines". Add certain chemicals and we go unconscious while a surgeon goes to work on our bodies. Add a different chemical (DMT), and experience 10 minutes of impossibly beautiful geometry and music in hyperspace inhabited by odd beings that all seems very very familiar especially when they say "Welcome back!". Add a different chemical (psilocybin), and see and feel utterly connected to all life above and below ground, see the various gods and become them, see family members and become them, buoyed by a sense of utter peace and love. Add a different chemical (dat
    6 points
  41. Do you think the D-K effect describes people who are certain the 2020 election was 'stolen' despite the lack of evidence in 50+ lawsuits? Or Qanon and other conspiracy followers?
    6 points
  42. So gullibility is masquerading as courage now? Learned Christian and Hebrew scholars are unable to present evidence for their god's existence so maybe Leia will do so. Please, you have the floor.......
    6 points
  43. Is anyone else amazed at how clear their mind is since deconverting? When I was a Christian, I was always praying in my head, apologizing to God for thoughts that weren't Christ-like, remembering scriptures...It was exhausting! Ever since I quit believing in God, I feel so much better! Anyone else experience this?
    6 points
  44. Thank you to all of you for these honest replies. It has helped me so much in seeing that my decision was not an incorrect one. It hurts a whole lot but I do understand that it is for the best. I've had a hard time accepting and understanding how a person can changes so drastically so soon. But again, he believes that Jesus is speaking to him and wants him to live such a life. I wished him the best in his journey to whatever it is and I am now focusing on myself and moving on from this. We all love God to some extent but it does not mean that we have to give up everything else for that. How do
    6 points
  45. A diagnosis couldn't be done without a full evaluation, but I am a retired Psychiatric Social Worker and can pick up clues from what is posted. I PMed SV and highly suspect he has a mental disorder, but will not disclose what was discussed out of respect for his privacy. The way some people are treated on this site has bothered me previously. We expect respect from them, but at times are just as disrespectful in return. I don't know if anyone else agrees, and maybe I am just an old foggie, but the figure with head up ass is highly disrespectful. How can we demand respect if
    6 points
  46. I always enjoy the fact that we have a good mixture of different denominations on Ex-C. Every time we have a discussion, I really enjoy hearing the different backgrounds, interpretations, and I normally hear something I have not before because I was not exposed to it in my Evangelical circle. If I never said it before, the group here was a big help in my deconversion and I am grateful for it. I know some people have been on here for years and probably answered the same question a hundred times, but you keep doing it, and that is admirable. Truth be told, if it was not for this webs
    6 points
  47. I think even fundamentalists realize, without realizing it, that the bible is not inerrant or infallible. Every time someone says, "well, that scripture was just for those days" or "that verse doesn't actually mean...(whatever it actually says), they are subconsciously acknowledging that there's no way an omnipotent and omniscient god could have inspired it.
    6 points
  48. Hello Leia. I hope you won’t mind my relating a true story to you. The story is true because its my story. Many years ago, I was betrayed by someone who was a very good friend and close confidant. His act of betrayal hurt me terribly and had very bad consequences for me on personal, familial and financial levels. I’ve never spoken to him again and I avoid all contact with him, even though we still live in the same area. Fast forward five years and I was working in a department of local government and I had access to confidential records and information
    6 points
  49. God is super fucking old. He's smart enough to know that he's in the highest-risk group and so he's staying the hell away from this shit show. mwc
    6 points


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