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Lycorth

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Lycorth last won the day on January 29 2016

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About Lycorth

  • Rank
    ???? ᛗᚩᚾᚪ:ᛗᚩᚾᚪ ????
  • Birthday 02/05/1977

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Upper Midwestern exile
  • Interests
    ᚹᚱᛁᛏᛁᚾᚷ:ᛋᛏᚢᚠᚠ:ᛁᚾ:ᚱᚢᚾᛖᛋ
  • More About Me
    I (try to) practice Zen, (try to) study Heathenry, and am most likely an atheist in agnostic's clothing ????

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    What gods?
  1. Yes, living in a Christian society, there is enormous pressure to be Christian, to equate being Christian with being good and right and truthful, and to make others around you comfortable and happy by being Christian. I think that goes along with a dogmatic religion, maybe with any sort of religion as well? Peer pressure is a part of Christianity, and we can see the same thing in Islam - another dogmatic religion that claims to have universal truth for all humankind. Peer pressure, and often in violent and coercive ways that we once saw with Christianity as a whole. I remember my early days as an ex-Christian, and how angry and outspoken I was. I felt very much like the obnoxious ex-smoker who can't shut up about being an ex-smoker. It took a long time before I learned how to balance myself with reason and genuine altruism, and with non-attachment to labels and opinions.
  2. Some great advice, here! I agree - look into some therapy (nope, definitely no shame in it!), read the links provided, and stay the course! You'll be ok! It takes a long time to fully cleanse oneself of the fears and boogeymen religions such as Christianity put into our heads. The Rome of your peace of mind won't be built in a day, but when you're done with construction, it will last longer than the Empire Hang in there!
  3. Welcome to the forum! Ultimately, I've been struggling with deconversion for the bulk of nine or ten years. In the early years, I didn't come out about my deconversion to my family for fear of hurting or confusing my parents, particularly my father. Now, my father wasn't overly devout and certainly wasn't zealous, but came from a Polish family, and had a very strong "cultural Catholic" belief. I didn't want to cause him hurt or upset by coming out about no longer being interested in the religion he held to; not causing distress to a kindly old man who loved me and did well by me as his son was more important than making a big deal about leaving Christianity. I had already left in my mind, so I was no longer psychologically enslaved to the Christian cult, and that was all that mattered. Also, as I was still adjusting to all the new information and perspectives that came along with deconversion, I had a very long time to go before I really confident enough to go public with my change in view. It took a long time not to allow myself to become an asshole on account of my disbelief. Give yourself time; hopefully, you can leave home and be on your own soon enough, and at least then you might not have to waste time in church for the sake of preserving things with your family. But, on your own, you will be free to. Eventually, though, after you've adjusted to life as a non-Christian and all of the new information and perspectives that go along with it, you'll have to be forthright and open about what you are, because the power of Christianity over the minds of others will not be chipped away at until people come out with their disbelief in the religion. But that's for later. Just focus on the here and now and on learning and coping. Don't try to build Rome in a day
  4. It's guilt - as Christians, we're told time and again that we have to pray and have to believe and have to do this and that, because it's the will of God that we do so. We're taught that to deviate in the slightest is a sin, that it's ungrateful to God for the sacrifice of Jesus, and that we're being evil. Guilt is powerful, and is an effective way to get us to keep ourselves in line, filling the pews and the collection plates. Don't listen to the guilt
  5. I left Christianity because of the lack of evidence for God's existence, ultimately. I have a hard time making myself believe things because I want to; I have to be truly convinced one way or the other. I slowly came to realize I was just trying to justify being Christian when I could not argue with the evidence and proofs offered against it; the arguments offered by Christians in favor of the religion just didn't hold up against those. It had nothing to do with being angry at God, just coming to realize that God doesn't exist to begin with. It took many years, and I went back to Christianity several times, usually for emotional reasons, or also because I expected to find the same proffered surety and dogmatic reassurances outside Christianity as I found within it; I was Catholic, and the Church does a great job of making you believe it has all the answers for the meaning of life and the truth of its claims. It took a long time, but I could not argue with the evidence offered against Christianity, and also could not deny that the morality preached by the religion in general was much more malevolent and less altruistic than that found outside the religion, particularly amongst freethinkers. Liberal, secular, progressive values are more inclusive and less divisive, more so that what I found in Christianity. I just could not believe a lie, anymore.
  6. Welcome to Ex-C! Thank you for sharing that! I understand the back-and-forth you did, trying to fight your nature and deny who you are. While I'm not gay, I spent years trying to fight my skepticism and doubts and atheism. Back and forth, over and over, lying to myself, hurting myself, wasting so much time. I'm glad you're free, and your mother also accepts you! Is she also an atheist? It's great that one of your worst critics has seen the light and become one of your staunchest allies! Seeing your struggles with your sexuality probably caused her to question her faith and the justifications she had for it, and contributed to her upset and lashing out at you. I'm sorry that all had to happen, but you stayed true to yourself, and helped someone else see the light of reason as well Welcome again to the forum!
  7. Welcome to ex-c! I can't sympathize more with what you mean by your "attachment to Christianity" and how much it harmed your life. I let the casual, cultural religion I was raised with turn into a full-blown zealous addiction, and I have only recently discovered how deeply that addiction affected me and virtually all of the choices I made in my life. Only now am I undoing the damage, and it's a long process, indeed. Now that you've taken the path out of the rabbit hole, you're seeing how much freer life can be, now that you're free to accept or reject concepts and ideas based on facts and evidence and genuine altruism, not on religious dogma or fear of an angry god. It's an unsettling adventure at times, but that's the case with all adventures, and the discomfort you will (and have) faced at times is only temporary! Stick to the path, stick to the adventure - so much better than the gilded cage of religion, as you are already discovering. Welcome to sanity!
  8. I was last active here in November of '07. I had no idea how deeply religion had impacted my life and my thought processes, nor how religion addiction still had a tight grip on me. In that time, I had returned to Catholicism, left it briefly, returned again to it, and finally left it - hopefully for good, this time! Back in September of '09, my son was born. As my then-wife neared her delivery date, both she and I felt drawn back to Christianity. She followed me into the Catholic Church, and was accepted into the Church in the Spring of '10. She would slowly give up practicing the Catholic religion shortly thereafter, going back to her own liberal interpretation of religion, whilst I took a traditionalist route and explored the Traditionalist movement within the Church - finding and attending regularly a Tridentine Mass, taking my son to church with me, and trying to justify my religious views against all the criticisms I had learned of in my days as an ex-Christian as well as all the evidence against religion I had learned of since that time (as well as the lack of evidence for the claims of the Church). I left the Church for a short time, largely due to personal issues, then returned to my psychological addiction one more time, going back to the Tridentine Mass and trying as hard as I could to justify my faith. As the months wore on, it became harder and harder to rest comfortably in my faith, knowing in the back of my mind much of it was a stubborn desire to live out something Medieval (I have been a long time amateur Medievalist, so going to church services with rites that have largely been unaltered since the Middle Ages had a certain and powerful appeal to me) as well as be "more Polish" (as Poles have been stubbornly addicted to Catholicism ever since the 10th century; part of being Polish was being Catholic) and, though I was loathe to admit it to myself, assuage the fear of eternal torture in case the angry god of the Church was not pleased with me - the fear of Hell was stronger in me than I had realized. Eventually, my marriage fell apart, though not for religious reasons (not according to my ex-wife, oddly enough). I persisted in my religion, finding panaceas in my faith, in telling myself God will sort everything out, looking for some sense to the ruination of my life. I started getting in touch with many of my old online friends (and made some new ones), and in many deep discussions with friends who happened to be staunch atheists, I had to confront the same doubts and issues I had with Christianity, being articulated by other people, people with whom I was communicating in real-time. It was hard to look at those doubts and concerns and keep on ignoring them, and it built up to such a head that, one morning in Mass, I was sitting there in church, growing more disgruntled by the moment. By the time church let out, I was done - I left and never returned, setting my mind to going back down the path of freethought, deciding to take the dangerous adventure that is leaving behind organized religion and making sense of the world with my own mind and with the facts that others have discovered, choosing to face the fear of hell and the discomfort of changing my mind in regards to long-ingrained habits and customs and such nonsense. That was November of 2014. In that 13+ months, I haven't felt more free, more at ease; deciding that theism is nonsense and there is nothing to worry about since there is nothing that can be proven about the claims of any and all theists has lifted a burden from my mind that was like pure lead. In that year since quitting theism cold turkey, I've revived my studies of Zen Buddhism and Germanic Heathenry, though carefully, since there is theism to be found in both Buddhism and Heathenry. Zen in particular lends itself well to atheism, especially as Zen in the West is largely divorced from the nonsensical rituals and superstitions that were attached to it in the East; the practice of zazen has been amazingly calming and centering, and the study of Zen perspectives on critical thinking, non-attachment, and mindfulness has been truly enlightening (I've also just begun practicing yoga, which, though not a part of Zen, has proven to be also as amazingly strengthening and centering for me); Zen is a great way to pull one's head out of one's ass and keep it out! I've also resumed studying Heathenry, the ethics and customs and zeitgeist of pre-Christian Germanic cultures, particularly the heroism and self-reliance so often vaunted in their ancient literature and religious mythology. While I've been tempted at times to give in to theism and superstition in regards to Heathenry, I know it fails the same tests that other religions have failed, and rest easy knowing that science will point out the truths about the universe more accurately than any mythology ever will. Also, there's a bright star on my horizon - I've become involved with an old friend, and she and I have very similar dispositions, as well as nearly identical positions on religion and science. Things have gone very well for us, and we are planning to begin a life together over this coming summer, with my boy as part of the new family we shall bring together. Not only will I relocate my son to a full and loving home where he will be well looked after, it will be in a progressive, liberal community where he will not be taught the fear of Hell or any other religious superstition, so perhaps one day he will not have to go through the years of soul-searching and back and forth religious addiction his father did. Life has enough things to trouble the mind - inventing trouble via religion will only make life harder to live. EDIT: Religion ruined my life. My addiction to it, to needing to please and serve God, led me to hamper my personal life, give ear and heed to crazy cultural and political ideas (and the equally crazy cultural and political leaders who promote them), and waste years of my life, all because of a religion that is as ridiculous as it is pervasive. If I had only understood how religion would shape every choice I'd make, or how I'd allow that to happen, I'd have run screaming from religion as soon as I could run or scream. I don't know how often I will post or how often I will even be here. I'd like to come back more often, knowing other people here have struggled with religion - or are struggling now. I know enough these days to know I have little wit, and know far less than I ever thought I did, but if my opinions and ex-timony can help someone for whom the fear of Hell is too strong and the anxiety of placating an implacable god is too powerful, then I am all too glad for the opportunity. This forum serves a very good purpose, and its cause is objectively right and just. The world needs more truth and less religion, more facts and less superstition, and the only way to get there is to give people who are struggling to get away from religion or who need advice as they continue down the road leading finally away from it. To that end, I am honored to be a member of this forum, and hope that in the future, my contributions will be better and more sensible than they were in times past. Thank you to Dave for creating this place!
  9. Nothing to add, here And given the fact that most people were either scared into it or forced on pain of death to convert, virtually all our ancestors were forced into Xianity, regardless of race. We were all following a slavecult. Ditto that. Though I love it when anyone leaves Xianity, it is heartening to see people of other races kick Jesus to the curb. The Black peoples of the world don't need Jesus anymore than the White peoples do - or anyone else.
  10. Damn, this is the newbies-greeting-newbies thread Welcome to you all!
  11. That does bring to mind a phrase I have tacked on my computer desk's cork board: He who angers you CONTROLS you. Very well-said
  12. That's cool - believing in a higher power is one thing, letting yourself get swept away by all sorts of wild things that can't exist but in your imagination is another. The former is harmless, the latter is harmful. But just because something seems real, doesn't make it so. The world is full of illusions - be wary of them. More non-abrahamists should think like that
  13. Azerate218... First of all, welcome Second of all - you really need to hit the brakes and do a double-check on what you're convincing yourself to believe. Think about it - a cosmic war with 10 gods versus 10 anti-gods? Seriously, you know you have no proof that any of these things exist, so don't burden yourself with it. It may feel as if Satan was in your room when you did the rite, but make no mistake - it was your own mind that you felt the presence of, not Satan or any other being. I know - I have performed Satanic rituals and felt very powerful vibes afterward. But I realized them for what they were - my own emotional energy that got all revved up with the dark aesthetics of Satanic psychodrama, and nothing else. There is no Satan except that metaphorical figure that exists within the minds of humans, no more than there is a Yahooweh or whatever who made us to be slaves. That assertion alone should give you pause, because unless there is some real proof that said god exists you know you cannot be honest with yourself and still think that way. If you can't be honest with yourself, you might as well still be a Xian. All the rituals and displays of anti-Xian disposition mean absolutely nothing unless you are firmly grounded in the facts about Xianity and the universe. Cease believing weird, unprovable things solely on faith and emotion and do what any self-respecting Satanist (or anyone else) would do, and that's remain a skeptic unless and until you can prove what you believe in is real, or else change your beliefs to jive with reality. If you want to fight the war against Xianity and its nonexistent gods, education is the only weapon you need. Or have.
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