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mick

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About mick

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    None
  1. Well, I wish it were that simple. We actually do have terrible even drawn out fights about religion sometimes. But deep down we both seem to really actually love each other, (not just the idea of each other). I have found that alot of Christian spouses seem to love the "idea of their spouse". And that idea includes their "walk" with the Lord. So when a person's beliefs change, you better hope your believing spouse loves you, and not just the idea of you. I am definately one of the lucky ones, so far, with respect to that. It has not been easy though. She has taken my Atheist as liberty to run amuck in the charasmatic realm, and the healing and faith ministers (I.e. Marilyn Hickey, Benny Hinn, and the like, who prey upon poor sad parents of sick children with the promise of them being healed if you only give more money or had more faith like them. My wife has fallen victim to them. Ironincally, if I had remain the kind of CHristian I was, those charlitons would not have had any openings into this home. My oldest son is now an atheist heading to college, a real good kid. My other 2 children have health issues. One wants to believe in God, but thinks most of her mom's stuff is nuts. The other is severely disabled and is not cognisant of things like religion.
  2. I deconverted 8 years ago this week! After 17 brutal years. Family still in tact wife still major fundy but life is good. Love your lives everyone! Do your best. Be someone you would want around and you will be great!
  3. This is also very common. My wife is way more devout then she ever was, and believes more "extremely" in the "promises" of the Bible. (Like healing, miracles, supernatural) BUT for some reason we have reached a "happy place" with each other, and got to unshackle myself from the "mind trap". I listen to the Rolling Stones all the time now. She used to hate it when I did, but even that kind of mutual acceptance of each other came eventually. Even the fact that the kids don't believe or go to church is accepted by her, when once it was a big problem. (like 6 years ago) It will be OK, no matter what. Just because, WE choose things to be OK. We all need a positive attitude and we need to remember that there are great amazing things about life and existence. And this is our one chance so let's do it!
  4. BDPApostate, I'm Mick. I enjoyed reading your deconversion story very much. I was a born again christian, for 17 years, married to very strict evangelical wife, three kids who were 10, 9, and 7 at the time. I deconverted at that time for very similar reasons to you. And I was a Deacon, adult Bible Studay teacher, discipler, the whole nine yards. It all fell apart for me, but I am still married 7 years later, my wife is still very religious but we have come to a point where we mostly respect and truly love each other. (maybe I got lucky on this because I hear alot of different outcomes than mine. We live in the liberal Northeast where religion is very weak in society, and I think that really helped me at maintaining my family. The best part for me is that my kids chose reason over Born Again Christianity. NONE of them are "believers". Without a brainwashed dad, at least in the Northeast, I think the kids have no chance at staying brainwashed. I'm quite happy today. Welcome. Mick
  5. You already mention a pretty decent geographical distance. Part of me thinks you should just dismiss him outright. "Services no longer needed". SOmetimes I think us "ex-christians" feel almost too strong a need to carry the battle back at the forces of christianity. His email shows he is an ass. (religiously speaking) I deconverted nearly 7 years ago. I'd like a lot of the time back I spent typing shit out to people who are never going to change. Just clearly dismiss him as unneeded, and save your children from him.
  6. I feel for you. I may be an exception. I deconverted from Fundie Christianity 5 years ago. My wife has actually got more extreme in her fundamentalist faith. (She is major Word Faith movement type now.) It was very hard at first, but we actually get along great now. I am hopeful that our future will be goood. SOmetimes I wonder if the differences between us religion-wise are hidden and covered up while we are raising our chilren. And that mayb things will be harder later, when it is just the two of us. I think it is important for you to truly recognize the reality that already have come to. That is that you and your wife are both just human beings. Try to connect with her as a human being that loves her. Be special to her in your actions, and stay as clear as possible of the things that hurt your relationship. We recognize that this is the only life we got, and you have stated a strong desire to be honest (hence your public declaration of no longer having faith) and your desire to be with the women you love regardless. You must recognize that if you are choosing that you love her and are dedicated to her, then you are accepting her completely, as she is now. Believe me I know it is hard. I have had many moments where I felt like I love my wife more than I ever have, and would give her the whole world if I could, but what she really wants I cannot give her. (Spiritual leadership, companionship) And that breaks my heart. The thing I have noticed recently, at least in my case, is what my wife really wants is a connection with me. She wants to talk. She is very into her faith, but she is able to talk to me about politics, love, sports, etc. Maybe I am lucky, but I guess what I am trying to say is that if she is worth spending a lifetime with, then she will love YOU, not what you believe. And you must do the same. Does that make sense?
  7. Hey, Lot of good stuff in this thread. I love the first reply from the person who memorized entire books, sermon on the mount, etc. It is amazing how at one point for many of us the blinders were on; and now it is all so painfully clear. I was a christian in total from 1990 until 2006. Spent time as a leader in Campus Cruscade for Christ, was a deacon in my church, taught adult Bible study, kid sunday school, and was approached at one time to be an Elder. However, with true reverse engineering and hind site, and can see my major doubts go all the way back to literally the first time I went to church after getting "saved". lol I literally remember I had "prayed to receive" Christ at a Cruscade thing on a Friday night, had a very emotional weekend of Jesus freaking, read all of the Gospel of John on Saturday. Then I was at the first Born AGain service I ever went to that Sunday. The preacher had this big thing up about "Noah's Ark" and how evolution was a lie. I can distincly now remember thinking to myself "What the fuck have I got myself into here." Somehow I buried that correct response my brain was telling me, to follow the emotional roller coaster with these folks that become a 16 year Hijacking of my life and mostly mind. In 2 years I was married into the Cult of Christianity, (to a woman I still love very much who is a devout Christian though I am an atheist) In 1996, on the train to work, I decided it was time I read the Bible from "Cover to Cover" thinking it was the right thing to do. I was already a Deacon in a church and had never read much besides the NT. I already struggled with "Hell" and the fact that nothing supernatural ever really happens, etc. Well all I can say is "Shock and Awe" was my internal reaction to actually reading the Bible cover to cover. In hind site I was already no longer a christian at that point. However I had a problem. I was married with my first child on the way, and a deacon. I thought hard about what to do, buried my head in the sand, and continued to play christian probably even convincing myself at times. Then something really crazy happend in 2002 6 years later. I was reading heavily about Calvanism, and internally realized that I have not been believing for years, and HENCE I simply MUST NOT BE ELECT!!! I had one of the most ironic things happen to me. NOT BELIEVING I became terrorfied of NOT BEING ELECT!! I was lik I'M GOING TO HELL because I don't believe. I talked it over with a christian friend and he told me how nuts I was. How can you be afraid of something you not believe is true?? (He was trying to tell me that I actually did believe but it the opposite effect on me. I was like,wait a second, I really don't believe it anyway?? It is like being afraid of some ancient babylonian god or something? I don't walk around in terror thinking I am not elected by Zeus, righ? Well not deconverted yet, I secretly thought it was bullshit, and started going to sites like this one for the first time back in that time frame, though always repenting. Then 3 years later that "friend" I who tried to comfrot me renounced Christianity. He was the best apologist in our church andf he as an Elder. Our pastor, when he would get questions about the faith, would type them up and give them to my friend to get the best answers. That is how into the faith he was. His deconversion I will never forget. He called me on the phone, and said "Mike,If I abandon the faith will you still be my friend?" I was immediately was like "YES!"!! And I told him I was essentially not a believer any more either. This was 2006 Feb. I joined this site that week I think. I went back review the whole Bible again and especially the attrocitites and was filled with embarassment and shame for myself. The only comfort I have from it all was that I was smart and moral enough to break free. -Mick
  8. Hey Dalt, I'm Mick. My story is very similar to yours. I could go on long ut I'll make it short. I deconverted like 5 years ago after 15 years in the faith or so. My wife is still a very very serious christian. At first, it was like yours. I felt so so sad most of the time with respect to how I related with my wife. I remember her crying and my feeling like the one thing that will make her happy I can never give her again. (I.e. going through life with her together in faith.) I could love her, treat her right, be faithful, kind and dedicated and it would never e enough) However I must say that time has made things better. She loves me still and accepts me for what I am. Maye she thinks I am going to Hell, but she loves me. We get along better than we have in a long time. Anyway, I am a hardcore atheist now, but I love my wife and we are OK. I hope this encourages you.
  9. Hey PK. I'm Mick. I actually have struggled with hypnogagic hallucinations and sleep paralysis eposodes for over 20 years since college. I had them throughou my 15 years Christian experience. I used to think all kinds of crazy things about them. I had a particularly nutty one this week! If you ever want to talk about them let me know. Google "Sleep Paralysis" if you have not already. It truly is a fascinating subject. Sleep Paralysis disorder is the root of so many of humanisties bizarre beliefs about things from "witches", "Demons", and even "alein abduction". I have had so many of these events now without permanent harm to me that I actually try to have fun with them. Sleep paralysis can be opportunity for "Lucid" dreamin as opposed to Hallucinations if you train yourself. (It is not a hallucination if you can be aware of enough to know it aint real. WHEN that happens, you can control the event in fun ways. Like actually control events in a "dream") SOunds crazy but it is all science. We all become paralysed during REM sleep. (This is to keep us from running around, "sleep walking", etc during dreams. The brain "dettaches" muscle control for your body, and awakens it back before you actually awake.) Sleep paralysis is just a disorder in the "awakening" faze, where we become conscious BEFORE we regain muscle control. This can last seconds, minutes. and in some really sad cases hours. Full awareness during paralysis. Also, often your brain plays crazy tricks on you during this. I'll give you my example from thsi week. I work in IT. I had this really strange dream the other night, very real seeming, that I was at this old IT Manager job I used to have. The guy I hired to replace me was still there, but was like huge, and seemed evil. He was like always just out of view. Anyway, for whatever reason I was now in the server room, the lights were all out and it was very dark. Except there was a flash light or something, I thought being aimed at me by the guy I had hired to replaced me years ago (except he was never really in view) and the light was flickering as thourgh some weird openings or something. Then I realized, right at that second, that this was really one of my SP episodes, and I could not get myself to move or get up from this "IT" room. It was dark, I was like moaning for help, but the light kept flickering at me. This strange flashlight though the opening and I could not move or make a sound. Then, finally, as in all my SP episodes, I force my out wat through, like bursting your muscles into moving, and I start the real "waking up". Then I lieing there, looking through the drawn venucian blind shutters at the bright light of the moon, shimmering and shining through the blind things, creating a flickering light image. That is when I realized that the flash light in my dream state was just the light of the moon coming through the shades. I was still paralysed after that for like maybe a mintue. Then I was awake. I have so many SP episodes that they now fasicnate me. The thing that amazes me about these stories from other sufferers is they all seem to include some kind of feeling of a vistor who is not of good intention, and is often out of site, no matter how hard you try to see him. It is a scientifically explained phenomena and it is real, fully explained by our brains, etc. Many Christians who suffer from this do think it is an evil visitation. When I was a Christian these things often had a religious conotation and it was never a good one. (I thought the Devil visited me alot of time) Anyway welcome.
  10. >> This forum is not for making judgments or proclamations regarding statements of the OP. Post deleted by pitchu.
  11. I decided to follow the Navajo way after I shit canned Christ.
  12. I made myself laugh just a little bit as I prepared to address you as "HellBoy" but in a good way of course. I wish I could change my boring "Mick" to something whitty like yours or "CaneMeISinned" or something. Welcome HellBoy,... welcome.
  13. I am assuming you do not have children yet? For me, I went fast. As soon as I knew I was no longer a Christian, I told EVERYTING and why to my wife. She is today, 4 years later, one of the most extreme fundamentalists you would ever want to meet. (She is nice though) But extrememly fundy. I have 3 kids, and one of those is autistic, so we have alot on our plate. I am not against drilling right into it. Part of me is still glad that I did. However, your interests need to come first and this is more complicated than you may realize. For me, realizing that no matter how bad things are with my wife, I want to be living in the same house as my children was a big thing. No matter what, I will never jeapordize that. If you have no kids, and your wife is not extreme I would tell her. Maybe not ripping off the bandaid style, but still bring it out. She may be in the same place. Let me ask you this. Is she so important to you that you would hide a major life lie from her about who the very core of who you are just to keep her? I risked EVERYTHING including three kids whom I loved to NOT have to do that. History may prove I made a mistake, but so far I am glad.
  14. Hi Buckett, I'll keep this short because my laptop keyboard is screwed up. I was a Christian for 15 years. Went through a very similar deconversion process. Came out completely on it 3 years ago. Fortunately for me my extended family situation is mostly northern Catholic. None of them really care. My children were questioning everything on their own anyway, so that is not a problem. My wife is the problem. She was hard core Fundy, and has gone even more extreme since I deconverted. Even the evangelicals around here think she is off her rocker. It is very sad to me that our relationship has been destroyed for the most part. I think you should proceed with caution depending on how serious a Christian she is. You have way more Christians surrounding you than I do. I personally had to not live a lie. However, I am convinced our churches are filled with folks who do not really believe, but just want the "fruit" of a christian religiosity. Recent surveys have show that close to 60% of the people who go to evangelical churces do not believe their religion is the only way to God. You don't have to come out as rejecter of the Bible if you don't see it serving your best interests. You need to do what serves you and your children's best interests. All to say, I have had a painful road. I have lost all friends from my christian era including my wife. The only friends from my christian days are 2 buddies who also deconverted. Thank goodness for them.
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