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Brother Jeff

Regular Member
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Brother Jeff last won the day on July 21 2016

Brother Jeff had the most liked content!

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About Brother Jeff

  • Rank
    Glory!
  • Birthday 11/30/1965

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    http://www.alaskanatheist.me
  • ICQ
    0
  • Skype
    jeffreid1701

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Brenham, TX
  • Interests
    Hiking, cycling, Star Trek, football, religion, health, natural medicine, health coaching
  • More About Me
    I’m a professional evangelist. I travel the country — and sometimes the world, when the Lard magically commands it — trusting the Spook of Kryasst who is also somehow magically Him to magically cause those who hear me preach the Good News, the Glorious Bullshit about Kryasst, to believe and be SLAVED! As I’m sure you know, the most important decision we can make in life is our Sky Decision about who the Lard Jesus is and what we must do to follow Him.

    I couldn’t believe it when I first heard the Truth that 2000 years before I was born, the Lard Jesus Kryasst sacrificed Himself to Himself on the big giant stick to save me from the Holy Farter version of Himself! I always sensed somehow that something was wrong with me, and when I heard that that “wrongness” was because Adam and Eve killed my inner spook because they ate some magic fruit from a magic tree after listening to a lying talking snake and caused me to do shit that pisses Jesus off, even against my own will — well, it all just suddenly made perfect sense!

    The Word says that Jesus came to destroy the diabolical magical works of the Talking Snake (which He did when He Croaked in the Spook on the big giant stick), and the Word also says that Kryasst is gonna ride His Sky Horse down from the Sky Kingdom someday very soon to kick the Talking Snake’s ass for good! Glory!

    Considering everything that Kryasst has done for me, how can I NOT totally dedicate every moment of my life to Him and His glorious work all around this biblically flat planet? I say without shame or fear of any man that KRYASST IS MY EVERYTHING. He Croaked in the Spook and then Magically Undeadened Himself so that by believing that Glorious Bullshit, I could be SLAVED and go to live with Him in the Sky Kingdom forever after I Croak in the Spook. Hall-lay-LOOH-Yah!!

Previous Fields

  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    The Holy Farter! His Blasting Ass is Wonderful!

Recent Profile Visitors

10,562 profile views
  1. I was actually born and raised in Lake Jackson, TX. And I've lived several places in Texas as an adult. But I did get to spend 12 years in Anchorage, AK, and it was amazing! Loved it... except for the icy winter roads. Hated those. But overall I loved my time in Alaska! But it is nice to be back in a much warmer climate, though I'm not sure how I'll feel about that when the blazing hot summer hits!
  2. It's not so much the strain of running the site. I don't mind the work involved. It's getting traffic to my sites that is always the problem. My sites usually just end up as magnets for comment spam, and that's about it. As far as videos go, I would have to learn how to make them... any suggestions?
  3. Yes, most of the time. Depends on the phase my bipolar illness is in. I actually find a lot to like in religious mysticism, but I don't believe in God, except maybe as Pure Consciousness. I'm open to that idea...
  4. I stayed up praying all night and reading God's Word (THE BIBLE!!), and I asked THE LORD JESUS CHRIST back into my life, to be my LORD and SAVIOR, and I got baptized in the Holy Spirit and spoke in tongues!!! I prayed in the Spirit for HOURS!!! HALLELUJAH!!! PRAISE GOD, JESUS IS LORD!!! HALLELUJAH!!! HE IS THE KING OF KINGS AND THE LORD OF LORDS AND HE IS COMING BACK SOON TO TAKE US ALL HOME TO BE WITH HIM IN HEAVEN!!! BLESS THE LORD AND HALLELUJAH!!!
  5. I'm not able to enter new topics or reply to existing topics in Chrome. Just for grins I fired up Microsoft's new Edge browser, and it all works fine, though a bit slow, but that may be my Net provider since it's satellite and the weather is bad here right now. The Talking Snake is magically causing it to rain. Glory!
  6. Hey everybody, I haven't participated much around here for quite a while, but I hope you are all doing well. I took a long break from dealing with religion much at all, and I've pretty much given up on finding any sort of spirituality that would work for me. There are beliefs and practices that I find interesting, but I'm generally only interested in it when I'm manic. And as far as being a voice for reason and atheism, I just don't know, but I'd like to give it another shot. The only problem is that I have a mental illness to deal with on a daily basis, and I have periodic manic religious epi
  7. I had an encounter many years ago with a church of Christ friend and his pastor. We were discussing religion, of course, and they shocked the hell out of me when they informed me that I wasn't saved because I hadn't been properly baptized. I had accepted Jesus as my savior, I was Baptized in the Spook and spoke in tongues, I read the Bible frequently, prayed often, worshiped, all that religious stuff... but in their minds I was not saved simply because I hadn't been baptized. They said I was close to being saved, but not there yet....
  8. I’m a professional evangelist. I travel the country — and sometimes the world, when the Lard magically commands it — trusting the Spook of Kryasst who is also somehow magically Him to magically cause those who hear me preach the Good News, the Glorious Bullshit about Kryasst, to believe and be SLAVED! As I’m sure you know, the most important decision we can make in life is our Sky Decision about who the Lard Jesus is and what we must do to follow Him. I couldn’t believe it when I first heard the Truth that 2000 years before I was born, the Lard Jesus Kryasst sacrificed Himself to H
  9. You need to be slaved, and I praze GAWD that the Spook of Kryasst who is also somehow magically Him has magically convinced you of that fact! Glory! Here's how to get slaved! Let's walk the Romans Road together, shall we? You'll notice that all of the following verses are from the glorious Book of Romans, which is why our journey is said to be on the metaphorical Romans Road! The first verse on the Romans Road to slavation is Romans 3:23, "For all have done shit that pisses Jesus off, and come short of the glory of Gawd." We have all done shit that pisses Jesus off. We have all do
  10. Hasn't been that long since I checked in here but... things have sure changed. Upgraded the forum software? Hope you are all doing well and that the Lard is blessing! Glory!

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Brother Jeff

      Brother Jeff

      Hey everybody, yes, I am doing well! Thanks! Glory! :)

    3. Ellinas

      Ellinas

      Well, hello Brother!  May the Lard be praised for your good health and beneficial presence in this hallowed sanctum!!!

  11. Fundies... So far today I have heard that if we try to please an invisible sky man, everything will change... and prayer (talking to the ceiling/talking to an invisible sky man) sweetens the air...
  12. Bless the Lard! Glory!

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Brother Jeff

      Brother Jeff

      Life in Texas is good! Dad is stable for now, and my sister is doing well. I'm also generally doing well. :)

    3. Brother Jeff

      Brother Jeff

      Thanks for the welcome back! Glory!

    4. Brother Jeff

      Brother Jeff

      Thanks, REBOOT! Glory!

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