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Brother Jeff

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Everything posted by Brother Jeff

  1. I was actually born and raised in Lake Jackson, TX. And I've lived several places in Texas as an adult. But I did get to spend 12 years in Anchorage, AK, and it was amazing! Loved it... except for the icy winter roads. Hated those. But overall I loved my time in Alaska! But it is nice to be back in a much warmer climate, though I'm not sure how I'll feel about that when the blazing hot summer hits!
  2. It's not so much the strain of running the site. I don't mind the work involved. It's getting traffic to my sites that is always the problem. My sites usually just end up as magnets for comment spam, and that's about it. As far as videos go, I would have to learn how to make them... any suggestions?
  3. Yes, most of the time. Depends on the phase my bipolar illness is in. I actually find a lot to like in religious mysticism, but I don't believe in God, except maybe as Pure Consciousness. I'm open to that idea...
  4. I stayed up praying all night and reading God's Word (THE BIBLE!!), and I asked THE LORD JESUS CHRIST back into my life, to be my LORD and SAVIOR, and I got baptized in the Holy Spirit and spoke in tongues!!! I prayed in the Spirit for HOURS!!! HALLELUJAH!!! PRAISE GOD, JESUS IS LORD!!! HALLELUJAH!!! HE IS THE KING OF KINGS AND THE LORD OF LORDS AND HE IS COMING BACK SOON TO TAKE US ALL HOME TO BE WITH HIM IN HEAVEN!!! BLESS THE LORD AND HALLELUJAH!!!
  5. I'm not able to enter new topics or reply to existing topics in Chrome. Just for grins I fired up Microsoft's new Edge browser, and it all works fine, though a bit slow, but that may be my Net provider since it's satellite and the weather is bad here right now. The Talking Snake is magically causing it to rain. Glory!
  6. Hey everybody, I haven't participated much around here for quite a while, but I hope you are all doing well. I took a long break from dealing with religion much at all, and I've pretty much given up on finding any sort of spirituality that would work for me. There are beliefs and practices that I find interesting, but I'm generally only interested in it when I'm manic. And as far as being a voice for reason and atheism, I just don't know, but I'd like to give it another shot. The only problem is that I have a mental illness to deal with on a daily basis, and I have periodic manic religious episodes that destroy my credibility with people who don't understand that I have a mental illness and I can't help my religious thoughts and feelings when I'm manic. It's all incredibly REAL when it's going on, and it's easy for me to convince myself that it really is for real and that I've entered into an awesome new way of life that will give me joy every day for the rest of my life. So, while the manic religiosity is going on, it's impossible for me to just stay silent about it because I'm feeling so much love and joy and I want to share it with the whole world, and in the moment it doesn't matter that it's not real and that it's just a product of mental illness. In the moment, I just don't care. It feels REAL and I want it to be real, so while I'm manic I'm also heavily in denial that it's all a product of mental illness. But at any rate, all of that said, I'm feeling reasonably stable now, and I'd like to give doing a website again a shot. I've had nothing but frustration with that for years and I've done a number of dead sites that never did anything but become magnets for tons of comment spam. Even so, I am ready to try again and I feel compelled to put my voice out there, though I know I can't compete with the major atheist bloggers out there who get most of the traffic and interaction. Of course, given time, I'm hoping that my voice can once again be significant and wanted too. I'm going to try a different approach. In the past, my blogs have been a mixture of angry rants and the anti-religious humor I was once known for. I'll probably keep some of the humor around for no other reason than it makes ME laugh, but I'll be dispensing with the angry rants. I'd like to put a calm and reasonable voice out there for atheism in the Bible Belt now that I live in Texas. I do have a site online, though I haven't done much with it for a while. I plan to start posting to it again maybe even today... My site is here: http://www.texanatheist.com I'd really appreciate it if y'all would take a look at it and offer me some feedback. The site is a work in progress, and I know that some of it needs some work. I'm also doing a lot of reading on religion. Lots of atheist stuff, but also lots of liberal Christian stuff and even a couple of books from fundies, you know, those Christian apologist folks. I have a LOT of books and a whole lot of reading to do, which of course will take some time to get done, but as I complete books, I'm planning to review them on my blog. And I'm not talking about angry rants against the Christian authors. I'm planning to do thoughtful, serious reviews that I hope my readers, assuming I have any lol, will value. So... before this post gets too long, I'll stop for now. Thanks for listening... Oh... and I still haven't forgiven myself for taking my original "Religion is Bullshit" site offline way back in 2004. It was very popular, and if I had continued it, I may well be one of those major atheist voices I now envy the popularity of today... Every site I've done since then has bombed and been nothing but a spam magnet.. Sigh... But I'm hoping this time will manage to be different.
  7. I had an encounter many years ago with a church of Christ friend and his pastor. We were discussing religion, of course, and they shocked the hell out of me when they informed me that I wasn't saved because I hadn't been properly baptized. I had accepted Jesus as my savior, I was Baptized in the Spook and spoke in tongues, I read the Bible frequently, prayed often, worshiped, all that religious stuff... but in their minds I was not saved simply because I hadn't been baptized. They said I was close to being saved, but not there yet....
  8. I’m a professional evangelist. I travel the country — and sometimes the world, when the Lard magically commands it — trusting the Spook of Kryasst who is also somehow magically Him to magically cause those who hear me preach the Good News, the Glorious Bullshit about Kryasst, to believe and be SLAVED! As I’m sure you know, the most important decision we can make in life is our Sky Decision about who the Lard Jesus is and what we must do to follow Him. I couldn’t believe it when I first heard the Truth that 2000 years before I was born, the Lard Jesus Kryasst sacrificed Himself to Himself on the big giant stick to save me from the Holy Farter version of Himself! I always sensed somehow that something was wrong with me, and when I heard that that “wrongness” was because Adam and Eve killed my inner spook because they ate some magic fruit from a magic tree after listening to a lying talking snake and caused me to do shit that pisses Jesus off, even against my own will — well, it all just suddenly made perfect sense! The Word says that Jesus came to destroy the diabolical magical works of the Talking Snake (which He did when He Croaked in the Spook on the big giant stick), and the Word also says that Kryasst is gonna ride His Sky Horse down from the Sky Kingdom someday very soon to kick the Talking Snake’s ass for good! Glory! Considering everything that Kryasst has done for me, how can I NOT totally dedicate every moment of my life to Him and His glorious work all around this biblically flat planet? I say without shame or fear of any man that KRYASST IS MY EVERYTHING. He Croaked in the Spook and then Magically Undeadened Himself so that by believing that Glorious Bullshit, I could be SLAVED and go to live with Him in the Sky Kingdom forever after I Croak in the Spook. Hall-lay-LOOH-Yah!!
  9. You need to be slaved, and I praze GAWD that the Spook of Kryasst who is also somehow magically Him has magically convinced you of that fact! Glory! Here's how to get slaved! Let's walk the Romans Road together, shall we? You'll notice that all of the following verses are from the glorious Book of Romans, which is why our journey is said to be on the metaphorical Romans Road! The first verse on the Romans Road to slavation is Romans 3:23, "For all have done shit that pisses Jesus off, and come short of the glory of Gawd." We have all done shit that pisses Jesus off. We have all done things that are displeasing to the Holy Farter. There is no one who is innocent. Romans 3:10-18 gives a detailed picture of what the shit we do that pisses Him off looks like in our lives. The second Scripture on the Romans Road to slavation, Romans 6:23, teaches us about the consequences of doing shit that pisses Jesus off - "For the wages of doing shit that pisses Jesus off is death; but the magical gift of Gawd is a second magical eternal life after this one is over through Jesus Kryasst our Lord." The punishment that we have earned for doing shit that pisses the Magic Sky Man off is death. Not just physical death, but eternal death! Without Jesus, not only will your physical body die, but your inner spook (the real you) will die too! The third verse on the Romans road to slavation picks up where Romans 6:23 left off, "but the magical gift of Gawd is a second magical eternal life after this one is over through Jesus Kryasst our Lord." Romans 5:8 declares, "But Gawd demonstrates how He made love to us from the Sky Kingdom, in that while we were still doing shit that pisses Him off, Kryasst sacrificed Himself to Himself for us." Jesus Kryasst died for us! Jesus' death paid the price to the Sky Him for doing shit that pisses Him off. Jesus' magical undeadening proves that Gawd the Holy Farter accepted Jesus' sacrifice to the Him up there in the Sky as the payment for doing shit that pisses Him off. The fourth stop on the Romans road to slavation is Romans 10:9, "that if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that Gawd magically undeadened Him, you will be slaved." Because of Jesus' sacrifice to the Sky Him on our behalf, all we have to do is believe in Him, trusting His sacrifice to the Sky Him as the payment for doing shit that pisses Him off - and we will be slaved! Romans 10:13 says it again, "for everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be slaved." Jesus died to pay the penalty for our having done shit that pisses Him off and rescue us from Himself and the loving flaming torture chamber. Slavation, the forgiveness of having done shit that pissed Him off, is available to anyone who will trust in Jesus Kryasst as their Lord and Slaver. The final aspect of the Romans road to slavation is the results of slavation. Romans 5:1 has this glorious message, "Therefore, since we have been justified through magical thinking, we have peace with Gawd through our Lord Jesus Kryasst." Through Jesus Kryasst we can have a magical relationship of peace with the Holy Sky Farter. Romans 8:1 teaches us, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who participate in the Sky Magic of Kryasst Jesus." Because of Jesus' sacrifice to the Sky Him on our behalf, we will never be condemned for doing shit that pisses Him off. Finally, we have this previous promise of Gawd from Romans 8:38-39, "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither friendly spooks nor evil spooks, neither the present nor the future, nor any magical powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all the magical creation, will be able to separate us from the absurd love of Gawd that is in Kryasst Jesus our Lord." Would you like to follow the Romans road to slavation? If so, here is a simple prayer you can say. Saying this prayer is a way to declare to Gawd that you are relying on Jesus Kryasst for your slavation. The words themselves will not slave you. Only magical thinking and blind faith in the glorious bullshit about Jesus Kryasst can provide slavation! Say this prayer right now. The Magic Sky Man will hear you and He will slave you and seal your slavation with the version of Himself known as the Holy Spook! Glory! Click here to hear Brother Jeff preach and pray the glorious prayer below! (Warning: This file was recorded LOUD, so turn your speakers down initially so you can adjust the volume, or risk having Brother Jeff shred your speakers and blow your glorious ass all the way up to the Sky Kingdom at the same time! Glory!) O Magic Sky Farter, I know that I have broken your laws and the shit I have done that pisses you off has separated me from you. I am truly sorry, and now I want to turn away from that shit and stop doing shit that pisses you off. Please forgive me, and help me avoid pissing you off again. I believe that your son who is also somehow magically you, Jesus Kryasst, died for the shit I did that pissed you off, was magically undeadened, is alive and living in the sky, and hears me talking to myself. I invite Jesus to become the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my farts from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spook to help me do shit that pleases You, and to do Your kind of shit for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I talk to myself, Amen. Glory! Congratulations! You just got slaved! Now, don't let the Talking Snake take away your joy! He'll try to tell you that your slavation isn't real, that it's just an emotional thing or that the Gospel, the glorious bullshit about Kryasst, is actually bullshit, but don't believe him! You've put your trust in Kryasst! Rejoice at your victory over the Talking Snake! That talking animal no longer rules your life! Your new Lord is Kryasst, the Magic Sky Man! Glory to GAWD!! It's important to share your newfound blind faith with someone right away so that Gawd knows you are serious about your decision to get slaved and start living not for yourself or for the Talking Snake, but for HIM, your new Invisible Friend up there in the Sky! Please email me, Brother Jeff, at (EMAIL: jeffreylreid@gmail.com), about your glorious decision for Kryasst! I'll rejoice and glory with you in your slavation! I praze GAWD for magically leading you to this site and this very page you are reading so that you could hear the Gospel and get slaved! GLORY!!
  10. Hasn't been that long since I checked in here but... things have sure changed. Upgraded the forum software? Hope you are all doing well and that the Lard is blessing! Glory!

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Brother Jeff

      Brother Jeff

      Hey everybody, yes, I am doing well! Thanks! Glory! :)

    3. Ellinas


      Well, hello Brother!  May the Lard be praised for your good health and beneficial presence in this hallowed sanctum!!!

  11. Fundies... So far today I have heard that if we try to please an invisible sky man, everything will change... and prayer (talking to the ceiling/talking to an invisible sky man) sweetens the air...
  12. Bless the Lard! Glory!

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Brother Jeff

      Brother Jeff

      Thanks for the welcome back! Glory!

    3. REBOOT


      Welcome back Bro ! The Lard is wif ya :)

    4. Brother Jeff

      Brother Jeff

      Thanks, REBOOT! Glory!

  13. This has been a favorite for years: Glory!
  14. The psych doctor I met with today was a foreigner and her name was... wait for it... Jizz. She is a nice person and somehow I managed to keep a straight face, though inwardly I was laughing my ass off. A doctor named Jizz... :D

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. duderonomy


      Brother Jeff, you are just making that up. That can't happen. Links please. Please.

    3. Naughtyhamster


      LOL! I have a friend whose maiden name is "Handcock".

    4. RealityCheck
  15. The Word says that Jesus came to destroy the diabolical magical works of the Talking Snake (which He did when He Croaked in the Spook on the big giant stick), and the Word also says that Kryasst is gonna ride His Sky Horse down from the Sky Kingdom someday very soon to kick the Talking Snake’s ass for good! Glory!

  16. Bless the Lard and welcome to this glorious site! Enjoy your FREEDOM! I'll add you to my prayer list. I pray in the Spook regularly for this glorious site and those who use it, asking the Magic Sky Man to magically bless our efforts! The Holy Farter never fails! He kicks the Talking Snake's ass every time! Shumbala Humbala Mumbala Dumbala! Thank you, Jesus! Glory!
  17. We are moving from Alaska to Texas on Monday. Mixed feelings. But it will be good for our family to be together again... Glory!

    1. LogicalFallacy


      That is a big move! From frozen Alaska to baking Texas. All the best.

    2. Fuego


      Wow! That's serious change, but good BBQ awaits.

  18. I take authority over our kitchen, and I command it to clean itself in the powerfully magical Name of JESUS!! Glory!

    1. Fuego


      Perhaps your kitchen doesn't have enough faith.

  19. Sister Lisa: I will be praying for all of you. Translation: I'll ask my god to interfere with your basic human right of self-determination and force you to believe as I do, because if you don't, my god will barbecue you forever... but he loves you!!
  20. Yeah, the "wow" stuff can come from anywhere. I just happen to see a lot of it on Facebook...
  21. I started the "Things Fundies say on Facebook" thread back in 2011, and it's still going strong. Glory! Time for a new topic. When fundies say things that make you just go "wow", drop it in here.... Here are a couple of Facebook posts and my responses to start this glorious thread off: Glory!
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