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Kurari

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Kurari last won the day on April 17 2013

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About Kurari

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    Apostate
  • Birthday 05/30/1977

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    Female
  • Interests
    science, aquariums, cooking, gardening, writing, drawing, religion
  • More About Me
    Great minds think alike, dirty minds shouldn't share.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Love.

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  1. This is basically like asking me if I'm on Team Jacob or Team Edward. I don't care. If someone asked me this question in all seriousness I'd probably just stare at them like they had three heads and excuse myself.
  2. Kurari

    Macros

  3. Exactly. I also hate it when people say to me, "So you believe in science." I don't "believe" in science any more than I "believe" in cooking. You either cook or you don't. You either use the scientific method or you don't. Science holds no beliefs. It's entire purpose is to investigate beliefs, thoughts, and ideas. Ouch. I'm not sure I could look a person who said this to me in the eye again. She just basically said she'd rather be a liar and live in her lies. How do you hold respect for someone like that? I don't know if there is anything you can do. You can lead a human to knowledge, but you can't make them think.
  4. I know how you feel. I had a very deep personal relationship with Jesus, and I had many blessings in my life. He was my comfort, my joy, my savior, my guide, my best friend, my lover. But I could not get past the fact that I as blessed and many others were not. People who didn't deserve to be left without divine care and love. My prayers didn't alleviate their troubles or prevent them. Like the pastor of my last church, who actually was one of the sweetest, kindest, hardest working, and gentlest human beings to ever walk the talk was struck by a severe paralytic stroke that made it so he could no longer speak and forced him to give up caring for others and his position as a pastor. This was a guy who has pretty much moved mountains to help poor folk get the help they needed in our community. It is his passion in life. He didn't care if they were atheist or pagan or whatever. If you needed him, he was there simply because you were hurting and he wouldn't press a sermon on you for it. He very much believed in a god of love. WHY?! Why won't God protect his hardest working and most devout from things like that? THAT could have easily been prevented by God. There are no gods. When I realized my "personal relationship" with Jesus was fake and just me talking to myself, I cried. But then I realized my personal relationship with everything good about ME was still real. I still have that. I can still create those feelings of love, joy, contentment, and feeling secure like I did back then. Took me a while and a lot of practice to get it back, but I have. Not that Christians believe me. It's not possible to remain devout to a lie and acknowledge someone willingly walked away from it without it being a ploy by the devil, denial, or never being a "true" Christian. But thankfully, I've got everyone here, including you and a lot of others who know exactly what I'm talking about.
  5. I agree with everyone else. Crow, I know how much it hurts like hell to cut out family. Even insanely toxic family. It's going to hurt a lot. But it's something that you can grieve through and it will make for a peaceful life for you and your wife and son.
  6. Do you want to tell him that you are an atheist or just not talk about it? If you don't want to get into a long discussion about it yet, write back acknowledging the letter saying, "Thanks for the e-mail, but this is something a bit too raw for me to talk about right now. It's between me and God."
  7. God-DAMN Margee! You have some ovaries of STEEL, girl! I'm so proud of you.
  8. *BIG hugs* I'm so sorry Electech. You did the right thing. I know you feel horrible because your wife was hurt...but you did the right thing. It's not good to live a lie with your spouse over something this big. I am thinking of you and your wife, and hope only for the best.
  9. I had that "small, still voice" within me and I heard it very clearly. For a long time, I thought it was God. Turns out it was just my own voice of reason as well. ^.^ I'm very sorry to hear that others have ditched you over this. It's a very sad and very common tale here. But that's what we are here for. Welcome to Ex-C!
  10. Welcome! That's a hard story, but I'm so glad to see the happy ending! I'm glad you're finally getting the peace and happiness that you deserve.
  11. "Only people who are personally weak go to church or believe in gods." ~ My Mother Unlike a lot of Ex-C'ers I wasn't raised Christian. I was raised in agnostic/atheist household. The extent of my exposure to Christianity was being baptized as a baby to appease my fundamentalist grandparents, and that was the end of it. My parents were both ex-Christians. My mother came from a highly religious and fundamental Presbyterian household in the Deep South, and my father was a Danish Lutheran. My mother never spoke of her upbringing much, I just knew she had suffered a great deal of religious abuse at the hands of her church and my grandmother, whom she hated, and that's why we weren't Christian. I don't know what she said to my grandmother on the subject, but my grandmother and grandfather never dared try to influence me either. My father...well, I didn't even know his side of the family was Lutheran till I was 25 and I received a beautiful Italian mosaic cross that belonged to my Farmor (Danish for "grandmother") for Christmas one year. When I asked about it, my mom told me my Dad's family had been Lutheran. Considering his side of the family still lived in Denmark and we barely ever talked, I never knew much about them. My mother was an avid student of various religions. She saved all her old textbooks from college in the 1960's (the ones that still called Asians "Orientals"), and had multiple analytical books about the Bible, the Dhamapada, the Bagahvad-Gita, the Torah, basic old "religion for dummies" type texts, and so on. We had a huge built in bookshelf in the wall dedicated to these texts. Most of which sat undisturbed for years and are now currently sitting in my storage unit. I have old hymn books and Bibles from before the Civil War era that belonged to my ancestors. It was a bit rough being an atheist child. I found myself at a disadvantage and feeling like an outsider many times growing up in middle-class suburban America. It was like the rest of society was in on something important and no one was telling me what it was. We did celebrate Easter and Christmas in our house, but without the religious bent. Simply from being American, I picked up the stories of Adam and Eve, Noah's Ark, Moses, the birth of Jesus (thank you Charlie Brown and Rankin Bass), and Jesus teaching and healing the sick, and finally being crucified through daytime television. I remember listening to Jimmy Bakker and wondering what he was on about. I just didn't get it. I wasn't a very popular kid and other kids liked to take advantage of my ignorance about Christianity. I remember once in fifth grade and it was the rise of the AIDS epidemic and homosexuals were being especially persecuted. I didn't pay much attention to the news then, just briefly heard the word "Homosexual" and that it meant men had sex with men. One day in class someone stuck a sign to my back that said "Lesbian" on it. When I finally pulled it off and looked at it, and I didn't understand what the word meant. I asked another student, and they giggled and told me it meant I loved other women. I knew from the cruel sniggering this was some sort of an insult, but I didn't understand why. When someone finally told me it was taboo for girls to love girls or boys to love boys and we were supposed to hate them because the Bible said so, I suddenly laughed and blurted out aghast, "Seriously?! That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!" I could not believe that there was actually a "rule" out there over something so silly! I knew that people loved and had sex with each other, so why not girls with girls and boys with boys? It seemed like the most natural conclusion in the whole world to me that boys would fall in love with other boys or girls with girls. Especially since I actually DID find girls attractive. I thought that was normal. I had never heard otherwise. Apparently that was really the wrong response, because the students got pissed at me, and I got a stern talking to from the teacher about respecting other people's beliefs, and I was not to call their religion stupid. My mother wasn't best pleased with that, and told me that I was the one who was right. I also remember being asked in sixth grade "Are you a virgin?" and I blinked and asked them what that meant. Cue a lot more taunting about how I could POSSIBLY NOT know what that meant. Then they finally explained it and the virgin Mary, and how you are a virgin until you have sex for the first time. Again I thought that was pretty stupid. Why would anybody care enough about something like that to give it a name and make a big deal out of it? My mother explained the origins of the word to me after school and how it used to be used to denote a woman who had chosen not to marry and handed me a book on Greek Myths. It was instances like that and many more that sparked my interest in religions. Being a teenager however, I didn't just want to learn about them, I was awkward and wanting desperately to fit in...I was weak. I wanted to know this God I'd heard about all my life and this peace He was supposed to bring me. So I converted to Christianity at around age 12 and prayed to Jesus. My mother needless to say was quite disappointed, but she stood firm in her convictions that my spiritual choices were mine to make alone...just don't drag her into it. I thank my mother for her own insatiable curiosity and vast education. I'll save my exploits as a newborn-for-the-first-time Christian (since I wasn't born "again") for the future, but that's the background needed for my further thoughts in this blog. Thanks for reading, I hope to be mildly entertaining.
  12. I believe that America's obesity epidemic is stemmed from the last bastions of our Puritanical beliefs. Americans don't know how to eat. We are not allowed to enjoy the sinful pleasure of food and we're taught we must restrict it to the smallest level. We are to be content with salad and eschew the dripping cheese sauces and fried delights, the Devils Food cake and the potato salads. Then our bodies will show once and for all our moral purity by remaining slender. To reach for the Pizza Hut pizza instead of the romaine is enough to bring about feelings of intense guilt and fear to the hell of *gasp!* being obese. To allow ourselves to gain a pound shows our weaknesses and shame. Of course, nobody can keep up a struggle like that. So I'm rather not surprised that churches especially seem to get into pissing contests to see who can tempt who and with what. Everybody's got to eat, so that makes it ok for people to go absolutely overboard, but it becomes another of "God's Tests" to go to these church feasts. "Oh, I shouldn't have that, I'm on a diet...but I DO love Mariam's Upside Down Pinapple cake...maybe just one slice..." Then you go home and think, "I am so weak! God give me strength to stick to a diet!" Dieting is like America's new religion. You MUST do this, you MUST remain slender, or you are a diseased and ugly pariah!!! After years of dieting myself, I finally realized I was stuck in the same exact mindset I had when I was a christian. I had deconverted long ago from christianity because I wasn't going to put up with a religion controlling my life with needless shame and fear, so I wondered why in hell was I allowing my breakfast to do the same thing?! Funny how my deconversion from America's screwy food mentality has resulted in signifigant weight loss and better eating habits just on it's own. I salute you with my garlic herbed roast chicken. *waves*
  13. I almost grabbed one of his books at the library! Only, it was the second book, and I wanted to try to find and read the first book before I got to the second one... I actually got the second one first then got the first one. They actually give a lot of the same information and I think they eclipse each other nicely. So feel free to pick up the second book first. You won't be missing out on anything.
  14. When I got into it, I went with Scott Cunningham's "Wicca" and "Living Wicca" series. Now before I get pounced on about how "fluffy bunny" and "basic" Cunningham is, I'll say that I was just getting out of Christianity at the time and really freaked out at the idea of turning "pagan." I didn't want to be a christian anymore but I was still scared of getting a lightening bolt in the head and going to Hell. He might be fluffy bunny, but his writing emphasized most importantly that I wasn't going to be cosmically punished for reading those books, and that's what I needed most at the time. So, if you're feeling a bit wiggy about the whole thing, I recommend Scott Cunningham. I think his books are a good start for the curious and especially religiously abused, but pagans in general strongly emphasize thinking for yourself and seeking knowledge wherever it can be found. You've got a lot of other great book recommendations, so I suggest you check them all out and start forming your own beliefs that way. A well rounded perspective is most often the best one. Good luck.
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