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Everything posted by Kurari

  1. This is basically like asking me if I'm on Team Jacob or Team Edward. I don't care. If someone asked me this question in all seriousness I'd probably just stare at them like they had three heads and excuse myself.
  2. From the album: Macros

    Listen to the wisdom of Beaker.
  3. Kurari


  4. Exactly. I also hate it when people say to me, "So you believe in science." I don't "believe" in science any more than I "believe" in cooking. You either cook or you don't. You either use the scientific method or you don't. Science holds no beliefs. It's entire purpose is to investigate beliefs, thoughts, and ideas. Ouch. I'm not sure I could look a person who said this to me in the eye again. She just basically said she'd rather be a liar and live in her lies. How do you hold respect for someone like that? I don't know if there is anything you can do. You can lead a human to knowledge, but you can't make them think.
  5. I know how you feel. I had a very deep personal relationship with Jesus, and I had many blessings in my life. He was my comfort, my joy, my savior, my guide, my best friend, my lover. But I could not get past the fact that I as blessed and many others were not. People who didn't deserve to be left without divine care and love. My prayers didn't alleviate their troubles or prevent them. Like the pastor of my last church, who actually was one of the sweetest, kindest, hardest working, and gentlest human beings to ever walk the talk was struck by a severe paralytic stroke that made it so he could no longer speak and forced him to give up caring for others and his position as a pastor. This was a guy who has pretty much moved mountains to help poor folk get the help they needed in our community. It is his passion in life. He didn't care if they were atheist or pagan or whatever. If you needed him, he was there simply because you were hurting and he wouldn't press a sermon on you for it. He very much believed in a god of love. WHY?! Why won't God protect his hardest working and most devout from things like that? THAT could have easily been prevented by God. There are no gods. When I realized my "personal relationship" with Jesus was fake and just me talking to myself, I cried. But then I realized my personal relationship with everything good about ME was still real. I still have that. I can still create those feelings of love, joy, contentment, and feeling secure like I did back then. Took me a while and a lot of practice to get it back, but I have. Not that Christians believe me. It's not possible to remain devout to a lie and acknowledge someone willingly walked away from it without it being a ploy by the devil, denial, or never being a "true" Christian. But thankfully, I've got everyone here, including you and a lot of others who know exactly what I'm talking about.
  6. I agree with everyone else. Crow, I know how much it hurts like hell to cut out family. Even insanely toxic family. It's going to hurt a lot. But it's something that you can grieve through and it will make for a peaceful life for you and your wife and son.
  7. Do you want to tell him that you are an atheist or just not talk about it? If you don't want to get into a long discussion about it yet, write back acknowledging the letter saying, "Thanks for the e-mail, but this is something a bit too raw for me to talk about right now. It's between me and God."
  8. God-DAMN Margee! You have some ovaries of STEEL, girl! I'm so proud of you.
  9. *BIG hugs* I'm so sorry Electech. You did the right thing. I know you feel horrible because your wife was hurt...but you did the right thing. It's not good to live a lie with your spouse over something this big. I am thinking of you and your wife, and hope only for the best.
  10. I had that "small, still voice" within me and I heard it very clearly. For a long time, I thought it was God. Turns out it was just my own voice of reason as well. ^.^ I'm very sorry to hear that others have ditched you over this. It's a very sad and very common tale here. But that's what we are here for. Welcome to Ex-C!
  11. Welcome! That's a hard story, but I'm so glad to see the happy ending! I'm glad you're finally getting the peace and happiness that you deserve.
  12. "Only people who are personally weak go to church or believe in gods." ~ My Mother Unlike a lot of Ex-C'ers I wasn't raised Christian. I was raised in agnostic/atheist household. The extent of my exposure to Christianity was being baptized as a baby to appease my fundamentalist grandparents, and that was the end of it. My parents were both ex-Christians. My mother came from a highly religious and fundamental Presbyterian household in the Deep South, and my father was a Danish Lutheran. My mother never spoke of her upbringing much, I just knew she had suffered a great deal of religious abuse at the hands of her church and my grandmother, whom she hated, and that's why we weren't Christian. I don't know what she said to my grandmother on the subject, but my grandmother and grandfather never dared try to influence me either. My father...well, I didn't even know his side of the family was Lutheran till I was 25 and I received a beautiful Italian mosaic cross that belonged to my Farmor (Danish for "grandmother") for Christmas one year. When I asked about it, my mom told me my Dad's family had been Lutheran. Considering his side of the family still lived in Denmark and we barely ever talked, I never knew much about them. My mother was an avid student of various religions. She saved all her old textbooks from college in the 1960's (the ones that still called Asians "Orientals"), and had multiple analytical books about the Bible, the Dhamapada, the Bagahvad-Gita, the Torah, basic old "religion for dummies" type texts, and so on. We had a huge built in bookshelf in the wall dedicated to these texts. Most of which sat undisturbed for years and are now currently sitting in my storage unit. I have old hymn books and Bibles from before the Civil War era that belonged to my ancestors. It was a bit rough being an atheist child. I found myself at a disadvantage and feeling like an outsider many times growing up in middle-class suburban America. It was like the rest of society was in on something important and no one was telling me what it was. We did celebrate Easter and Christmas in our house, but without the religious bent. Simply from being American, I picked up the stories of Adam and Eve, Noah's Ark, Moses, the birth of Jesus (thank you Charlie Brown and Rankin Bass), and Jesus teaching and healing the sick, and finally being crucified through daytime television. I remember listening to Jimmy Bakker and wondering what he was on about. I just didn't get it. I wasn't a very popular kid and other kids liked to take advantage of my ignorance about Christianity. I remember once in fifth grade and it was the rise of the AIDS epidemic and homosexuals were being especially persecuted. I didn't pay much attention to the news then, just briefly heard the word "Homosexual" and that it meant men had sex with men. One day in class someone stuck a sign to my back that said "Lesbian" on it. When I finally pulled it off and looked at it, and I didn't understand what the word meant. I asked another student, and they giggled and told me it meant I loved other women. I knew from the cruel sniggering this was some sort of an insult, but I didn't understand why. When someone finally told me it was taboo for girls to love girls or boys to love boys and we were supposed to hate them because the Bible said so, I suddenly laughed and blurted out aghast, "Seriously?! That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!" I could not believe that there was actually a "rule" out there over something so silly! I knew that people loved and had sex with each other, so why not girls with girls and boys with boys? It seemed like the most natural conclusion in the whole world to me that boys would fall in love with other boys or girls with girls. Especially since I actually DID find girls attractive. I thought that was normal. I had never heard otherwise. Apparently that was really the wrong response, because the students got pissed at me, and I got a stern talking to from the teacher about respecting other people's beliefs, and I was not to call their religion stupid. My mother wasn't best pleased with that, and told me that I was the one who was right. I also remember being asked in sixth grade "Are you a virgin?" and I blinked and asked them what that meant. Cue a lot more taunting about how I could POSSIBLY NOT know what that meant. Then they finally explained it and the virgin Mary, and how you are a virgin until you have sex for the first time. Again I thought that was pretty stupid. Why would anybody care enough about something like that to give it a name and make a big deal out of it? My mother explained the origins of the word to me after school and how it used to be used to denote a woman who had chosen not to marry and handed me a book on Greek Myths. It was instances like that and many more that sparked my interest in religions. Being a teenager however, I didn't just want to learn about them, I was awkward and wanting desperately to fit in...I was weak. I wanted to know this God I'd heard about all my life and this peace He was supposed to bring me. So I converted to Christianity at around age 12 and prayed to Jesus. My mother needless to say was quite disappointed, but she stood firm in her convictions that my spiritual choices were mine to make alone...just don't drag her into it. I thank my mother for her own insatiable curiosity and vast education. I'll save my exploits as a newborn-for-the-first-time Christian (since I wasn't born "again") for the future, but that's the background needed for my further thoughts in this blog. Thanks for reading, I hope to be mildly entertaining.
  13. I believe that America's obesity epidemic is stemmed from the last bastions of our Puritanical beliefs. Americans don't know how to eat. We are not allowed to enjoy the sinful pleasure of food and we're taught we must restrict it to the smallest level. We are to be content with salad and eschew the dripping cheese sauces and fried delights, the Devils Food cake and the potato salads. Then our bodies will show once and for all our moral purity by remaining slender. To reach for the Pizza Hut pizza instead of the romaine is enough to bring about feelings of intense guilt and fear to the hell of *gasp!* being obese. To allow ourselves to gain a pound shows our weaknesses and shame. Of course, nobody can keep up a struggle like that. So I'm rather not surprised that churches especially seem to get into pissing contests to see who can tempt who and with what. Everybody's got to eat, so that makes it ok for people to go absolutely overboard, but it becomes another of "God's Tests" to go to these church feasts. "Oh, I shouldn't have that, I'm on a diet...but I DO love Mariam's Upside Down Pinapple cake...maybe just one slice..." Then you go home and think, "I am so weak! God give me strength to stick to a diet!" Dieting is like America's new religion. You MUST do this, you MUST remain slender, or you are a diseased and ugly pariah!!! After years of dieting myself, I finally realized I was stuck in the same exact mindset I had when I was a christian. I had deconverted long ago from christianity because I wasn't going to put up with a religion controlling my life with needless shame and fear, so I wondered why in hell was I allowing my breakfast to do the same thing?! Funny how my deconversion from America's screwy food mentality has resulted in signifigant weight loss and better eating habits just on it's own. I salute you with my garlic herbed roast chicken. *waves*
  14. I almost grabbed one of his books at the library! Only, it was the second book, and I wanted to try to find and read the first book before I got to the second one... I actually got the second one first then got the first one. They actually give a lot of the same information and I think they eclipse each other nicely. So feel free to pick up the second book first. You won't be missing out on anything.
  15. When I got into it, I went with Scott Cunningham's "Wicca" and "Living Wicca" series. Now before I get pounced on about how "fluffy bunny" and "basic" Cunningham is, I'll say that I was just getting out of Christianity at the time and really freaked out at the idea of turning "pagan." I didn't want to be a christian anymore but I was still scared of getting a lightening bolt in the head and going to Hell. He might be fluffy bunny, but his writing emphasized most importantly that I wasn't going to be cosmically punished for reading those books, and that's what I needed most at the time. So, if you're feeling a bit wiggy about the whole thing, I recommend Scott Cunningham. I think his books are a good start for the curious and especially religiously abused, but pagans in general strongly emphasize thinking for yourself and seeking knowledge wherever it can be found. You've got a lot of other great book recommendations, so I suggest you check them all out and start forming your own beliefs that way. A well rounded perspective is most often the best one. Good luck.
  16. Hi Jillian, welcome to ExC. I would say when the subject comes up to tell them. You shouldn't have to pretend. If going to Mass makes you uncomfortable, you shouldn't have to go. Be polite and kind about it, but don't let them try to make you justify yourselves. Tell them once and only once, and be prepared for a lot of weird and seemingly irrational questions. Be patient and assure them that you still love them and care for them deeply. People often pick up on our discomfort and if we don't tell them why, they start to think it's something wrong with them. You'd be surprised how often you think somebody is going to "kill you" for something and they turn out completly rational or accepting. If you have an otherwise close relationship with them, do them and yourself a favor and let them know what's going on the next time the subject comes up. Timing IS important. Good luck.
  17. How many times have Athiests asked this question, or a variation thereof? Why are they so rude? Why do they curse at us? Why are they so angry/bitter? Why can’t they be nice? *BBQ's the chicken and scrambles the eggs* Who wants brunch?
  18. Um, I think you are all very unfairly jumping on Amy Marie on this point. My grandparents were part of the Manhatten Project and they described the attitudes and thought processes of the day, which is exactly what Amy posted. She is also describing exactly what was taught to me in school. If she's running on inaccurate information, I'm not surprised. I only found that part about the surrender on my own by accident years later. I've also done reports on the bombs dropped on Japan and I've been there as well. I've seen the shadows left by the people who were incinerated where they sat. I've also been to Ground Zero in New York. Both places raised the hair on the back on my neck. War isn't about morality. War is cold, impersonal, horrible, nasty, violent, and selfish. Soldiers don't aim down their rifles thinking that the person they are aiming at has a wife and a child who's going to miss their father. That's shit that creeps into their nightmares later. Morals make stirring points for propaganda, support, motivation, and morale, but they are never really "reasons" to get into a war. Not wars you want to win, anyway. Morals don't turn a profit. War is about securing power and making money. The apologetics and "morals" talk about good and evil is just a salve on that troublesome compassion thing that humans have. It's easier to kill somebody and alter the lives of people if you don't see them as human in the first place. In the end, war is like religion. It's about if it works or doesn't work, not if it's right or wrong.
  19. We do. Somebody had to figure all this out for themselves at one point and society decided which ones to adopt. The issues about sex for example really didn't take off until St. Augustine. So yes, one person CAN decide what is moral or not for everyone else. Morals should come from deep thought and common sense, not from a book. We're not stupid creatures, we all have the ability to create morality. I didn't learn until I was in middle school that homosexuality was considered a bad thing. Before that, I had learned that people considered sex pleasurable, so the idea of two people of the same sex making love seemed totally normal to me. After I studied why it was considered bad, even tried to make myself believe it, I ultimately decided it was the most rediculous thing to consider immoral because I could find no good reasons for it to be so. Because somebody told me "God said so" is NOT a good reason. I made the decision that homosexuality was perfectly moral, and the injustice and cruelty that people have perpetrated against gays utterly immoral. And I'm going to be one of the ones changing society's moral outlook on it by supporting gay marriges and working against discrimination against gays and standing up for my gay friends and family when somebody gets on their case. One day, I think homosexuality will be dropped along as a moot point that nobody gives another thought to along with eating shrimp, women not wearing jewelry, and shunning the disabled. WE decide what is moral and what is not, not God.
  20. Feh, how pathetic. You come in here and make a lot of nasty, snotty, rediculous assumptions about us and expect us not to get in your face about it? DUH! If I came onto a Christian board phrasing shit the way you did, I would most certainly expect to get jumped on! Then I'd have the guts to stand behind it. Go ahead, run away squealing like a sheared sheep because things didn't go your way. You're just proving your faith and your God is obviously not worth defending. Baaaaaaaaah!
  21. i am sorry you feel this way, Jesus stated "love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind....Love your neighbor as yourself." he stated these to be his greatest commandments. if you live your life by these words (which are not burdensome) there is no chance you will get snuffed. Hi Freeday, welcome to our board. I don't understand this statement and it's one of the reasons I left christianity. It got really confusing to me after a while to hear "love the Lord and you can't go wrong" but if I didn't do something in the Bible, I was going to go to hell. What if I truely love and accept Jesus, I live a good life being kind to others, but I live in a homosexual relationship? Or I enjoy porn or the occassional smoke of weed? Or I refuse to marry and prefer sex outside of a marriage bed? Or I refuse to be the submissive to any man (I'm female). Also, the "Love God and be kind to people" is an edict in just about every religion. Why then, is Christianity the only path to heaven if most religions do the same thing God asks for? Thank you for your time, I realize you've got a lot to look at.
  22. Truer words were never spoken. Uh, no, not really. Cool. Who says I abandoned it? Who says I ever stopped? And no, I wouldn't. You just said God gave us freewill. Then I trust my God and his gift of Freewill over religious dogma. I will never return to christianity and it's inconsistant lies and spoon fed misery. As you said above, it's been nothing but dissapointment and man-made hype. Cool. Then I have nothing to worry about either. I am a slave to neither. I follow no god or saviour that would ever consider me a "slave." I find it interesting that you put "freedom" in quotes. Like you don't believe you really have freedom. And that's the trap of Christianity. If you were to be anything other than christian and follow the outlined "rules" in the Bible, you would be cast into Hell to burn for eternity. This isn't really "Freewill," now is it? The christian god does not give freewill. He gives you the choice to live and die in fear for fucking up and angering him. And of course there are other ways. There are lots of religions in the world. There are lots of examples of people living their own ways on this board. Every single person on the planet has their own "way" of living. Your path in christianity isn't going to be the same as another christian's, is it? You both follow the same guidelines, but your not exactly the same in your views and outlooks within the religion. This is one of the things that led me to deconversion. An intelligent, omnipotent, and loving God would not have made us all different if he wanted us all to be the same. If this was true...well, this is probably the most ludicrious way to go about attaining that goal, and well, I really can't really believe in a god that is that much of a dumbass. I'm glad to hear that. Best of luck to you. I've got a good life as a non-christian. To each his own. Ah yes, we aren't christians so we must be sad. I could try to tell you about how much my life has improved since I left Christanity, but I'm going to opt for more blanket assumptions and assume that you couldn't possibly understand or would even want to try. Then have at it. My relationship with my god is none of your business. Do you really want to turn your back on that? On them? Man messes things up – Christians mess things up – over and over they do. Why blame God and Jesus for our mistakes – others mistakes? As I said earlier, I don't blame God and Jesus for anything. I blame christianity, the people that perpetuate it, and because of that, I say I ABSOLUTELY want to turn my back on it. The christian god is neither omnipotent nor unconditionally loving, and I can't swallow the lies anymore. The christian version of god cannot exist so I'm not going to jump through hoops to serve it. I'm not going to be a "slave" to sin or Jesus or man or religion anymore. Why do you think we came to this board in the first place?
  23. I can relate to a lot of what you've said. Those are some tough breaks to come through, but you are very bright and it sounds like you're finally getting what you've been looking for. Rock on. I think you're going to be just fine from now on.
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