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Positivist last won the day on July 27 2019

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About Positivist

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    Ecocentrism, animal welfare, environmentalism, precision rifle, practical shooting, music, good food, good friends.
  • More About Me
    I never thought I'd be an atheist, but here I am, on the compost heap of Christianity. Christianity broke my brain.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Be good.

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  1. I'm late to the party, but when I saw your post I had to comment. I too am a scapegoat. My mother is a narcissist and I was emotionally and psychologically beaten for many years. My father also disapproves deeply of me. Unlike you, I was unable to separate their abuse from my truths, and these things fused in my person. As a result, I've been in and out of therapy, over the years, but I finally have a therapist who does EMDR and somatic processing. It's intense but it finally gets at the root causes of my general forked-upness. Do keep us posted!
  2. Even 10 years out I still find cognitive dust bunnies or worse still lurking in dark corners of my mind. Patriarchy has shaped my very behaviours that it takes massive effort and self monitoring to recognize its impact and change my behaviours. The layers are endless!
  3. Yeah, criticism and advice may not be the way to go. Embrace her and tell her “You are going to have to sort this out. Let me know how I can support you as you do that.”
  4. I think it’s great that you’re going to set some boundaries. Since they’ll be trampled, have a plan. Are the kids on your side? Make a Fundie Xmas Bingo card so each of the kids can identify and track the cray-cray from gramps. First to get a BINGO gets another helping of dessert. Or inoculate the kids by having them secretly count boundary violations.
  5. Hi, TS0! I too thought I was fairly progressive. However, patriarchy and misogyny have a way of infecting the deepest processes in our psyche. I suspect I'll be "housekeeping" my brain until I die!
  6. I’ve been “clean” or “sober” (off Facebook) for two years now!!!! Between my fundagelical American friends posting crap that was pro-tRump and my marriage coming apart at the seams, I couldn’t handle it and realized it was poison for me. Good riddance!
  7. I was the same kind of Christian. There’s a book called “When God Talks Back” by cultural anthropologist TM Luhrmann. It’s about people like us!
  8. Positivist

    Inaugural Entry

    Welcome Riven! I look forward to hearing more about you. I was a worship leader too. I love your writing!
  9. Oh mymistake you are one of my favorite peeps on this site. Oh and me too on the wrong career!
  10. Correct! Everyone knows (the Lord especially!) that you measure liquids at the meniscus.
  11. Pentecostalism fucked me up so bad. I rue the day I got sucked into it!!!!!
  12. It’s so dumb isn’t it!? More like: KNOW GOD...NO PEACE NO GOD...KNOW PEACE
  13. Hi yunea! Wow that’s brutal!!! For me I find the grief associated with loss comes in waves. I’ve been out of Koolaid Land for a decade now and I still get smacked upside the head now and then with flashbacks. I think religion is like an illicit drug—flashbacks can persist for years after the drug was last consumed. Do you have a good therapist? (((Hugs)))
  14. Wow....... you nailed it! I admire you trying so hard to make church work for the sake of your family but I can totally understand that the rift in your authenticity--the gap between who you are and who you have to pretend to be--is too much of a burden to bear. Ugh. Wish I could support you in church--we could do some really good subversive and passive aggressive shit together.
  15. Yes, it's INSANELY expensive. That's the boat I'm on. (And that story is elsewhere. Koolaid, anyone?) To me, I think she sounds scared. She's scared you're going to change as a person (for the worse) into some awful monster with no morals. She's afraid for her and her children's stability--financially, emotionally, socially, etc. Maybe you can find ways to demonstrate daily that you are a better husband and father now. That might put her at ease.... My 2 cents!
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