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About traveller2

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    8 years out.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?

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  1. Yes it's highly plastic. Fake joy. When I was a boy it was held at a local church. I knew for a fact this church was quiet but it was full to capacity that day, I saw it on telly, everyone dressed beautifully for a church in a very deprived district. I get a " special joy" to see that church today. It got deconsecrated due to falling numbers and was set on fire by local neds. It still stands...just...roof blackened and gaping, the whole structure fenced off for safety awaiting demolition.
  2. It's great when the lord knows you're thoughts and you don't even have to use words. I was thinking about work last night before I went to sleep and five hour later I woke for my shift, no prayer said,nothing. #soblessed
  3. Though anxiety is more my thing, at several times in my life SSRI anti depressants have been a great help when very depressed. Have you considered this route?
  4. I dny really know you're situation having only recently returned myself after a long break, I kinda drifted off. I somtimes feel you're better not doing things that can't be undone. I would have regretted it to hav deleted my account. Why not take a good break and if it's right for you to come back in future then you will do so with you're account intact.
  5. Even as a Christian I hated that programme. You are talking about the British religious show? Vulgar programme.
  6. I'm pretty good with my personality type, I am what I am. It has its challenges but in the last few yrs I've grown to like myself more and stop trying to be more outgoing etc.its given me some peace. In the church my introversion was seen as a disease to be cured ....one day.i was often told I needed to speak up more or that I was awfully quiet and other helpful remarks that inferred that I had great potential but just needed to be more....you know (often given with some wavy hand motion and nod of the head) which I think meant I needed to be more confident and chatty or somthing like that.Anyway the implication was I was slightly deficient in somthing and if only I'd be more like somthing....I'd be ....there??? Typical church BS. Or is it?fast forward to last night at a party. A very close and drunk freind of my girlfriend gibbering pish in my ear all night about that this is like getting blood out of a stone,that I'm a good looking guy if I just....Fuck knows...there were more wavy hand motions and head nods. Or the woman at work who told me out of the blue in a break time convo that I could hav any woman I wanted....if I was just more....yep you guess it ...more hand wavy gesturing and nodding of the head to indicate I needed to be more of somthing. I don't get people.I guess that's part of my introversion.And despite a good bit of experience post deconversion I just don't get women who I barely kno that feel they hav to tell me I need to be more....you know?....somthing! Listen this is a serious post so whoever chooses to reply pls dny give me crass comments or smart ass jokes.This has caused me pain for 25 yrs of my adult life.I had a good night last night.My gf and I partied,we drank a skinful and had a great time dancing.But it really clouds my experience to be told I'm somehow deficient in my humanity in the eyes of others.Like I say I am good with being an introvert since I accepted it some five yrs ago and I'm long long past trying to staple some act onto my soul to be someone else.Im just me and always will be.Part of accepting my introversion has been about being at peace with my character abd personality but it's difficult and brings up alot of pain when I'm told these mini analyses of who I am by well meaning people. Btw the pal of my gf:I kno her quite well and told her to Fuck off which she seemed to think was a great joke but then she was steaming drunk.
  7. Do you hav a back yard?you could out a stack of bibles out and arrange some branches etc over them and over time it might provide homes for insects.
  8. Always wanted to do one of those crappy "he is risen" posts on a forum pmsl
  9. Her speech should quiet and meek or somthing like that.ugggghhh! I prefer a woman with a fucking gob on her(as we say in scotland)!
  10. Or perhaps they are actually able to avoid not focussing too much if at all upon themselves and derive joy and satisfaction from another source. Fine for some but I can't do that and I doubt most others can either. I used to wonder about this too! I judged them quite harshly as a christian and thought them less devout lol.I did genuinely wonder if they ignored certain scriptures that at the time to me clearly taught you should feel shit bout urself.
  11. yep i agree.For my part I think it stopped my growth alot as a young man.even now i stll consider myself to be somewhat behind my peers in various aspects of life expereince and milestones.
  12. i still have one christian book in my possesion actually.Its a rather heavy copy of the letters of samuel rutherford which helps keep my broadband router upright on top of a cabinet as the weight of ethernet cables tend to pull it over, it helps keep my faith strong every day by stopping it leaning to the side.
  13. Good for you Cabbie,glad you found it a bit cathartic.It always makes me smile when i hear of ex christians doing this as I'll bet so many of us all did the same thingas christians ; a personal little 'hezekiah's reform' in our life from time to time; 'I'll destroy all this non christian crap and then god will get a hard on for me and i'll really start making some headway (lol) in my christian life'. For those that did engage in this i think that getting rid of your christian paraphanalia after deconvesion is very telling..... I mean its clearly a sign of FRUIT in your non christian life hahahah.
  14. ridiculous! Personally i was never impressed by churches that insisted on having some horrendous eight foot cross stuck somewhere in their sanctuary to 'remind them of the sacrifice of jesus' . Big statues cost alot but so they could argue its no different morally from any other art project however crosses are so bloody ugly and cliched.No one stares at them in wonder of the sacrifice of jesus.The statue of jesus in rio is way more inspiring and can be appreciated by people of no faith on its artistic merits and location.Imagine swapping that out for a 19 storey cross lol.
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