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Wings

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Everything posted by Wings

  1. One of the things that I have found the most difficult is the realization that either 1) shit happens or 2) I'm the one responsible to make whatever happen happen. Coming from a tradition of thinking 'oh, God will make everything all right in the end', I found it difficult not have omnipotent power to download my problems on and let them rest there- now that weight/anxiety rests on me. A little while ago I was going through something really, all-consumingly difficult that wasn't within my control to deal with at all (one of those shit happens situations). But I couldn't stop thinking abou
  2. I'm not sure if anyone has mentioned this yet, but the Pew Research Center has done a study on gender and religion. You can find out about it at this link: http://www.pewforum.org/2016/03/22/the-gender-gap-in-religion-around-the-world/ Highlights: - In the United States, for example, women are more likely than men to say religion is “very important” in their lives (60% vs. 47%), according to a 2014 Pew Research Center survey. American women also are more likely than American men to say they pray daily (64% vs. 47%) and attend religious services at least once a week (40% vs. 32%). -
  3. Thank you! My kids keep me on my toes, as running my business from home. I was comfortable with not having to fit into the Christian mold before becoming devout so this feels natural to me. I actually like not knowing everything because it leaves room to discover and learn new things. And these are the things I want my children to have a love for too -- be curious about everything! Oops! I mis-read your name from the person who commented last. Persephone is indeed a lovely name. Really liked your perspective about discovering and learning new things. I needed that reminder as well!
  4. Hi Chilled, your story was very emotional to read. I'm glad that you are feeling better now and hope that you feel stronger every day in the choices you've made, in your beautiful children and all the wonderful things you get to enjoy in this life. Hugs!
  5. Hi Logical, welcome to the boards and thank you for sharing your story. I need to get back to work (eastern time zone here), but wanted to share a welcome before I go. Many of us lurk on these boards (errrr, myself included and I deconverted and left my fundamentalist church a little over 4 years ago). My experience leaving was a bit of a disaster (I got found out on facebook and it was a little messy), but whatever happens in the end my advice is cliche but personal: 1. Find your non-negotiables and limits and stick to them (you have to live with yourself longer than anyone, so do wha
  6. Those days when you just feel like you belong nowhere.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Deidre

      Deidre

      I've had days like that. ((hugs))

    3. Thought2Much

      Thought2Much

      I call that "my life."

    4. Wings

      Wings

      Thanks all-- most appreciated and I know that many of us know what it feels like at least some of the time. Big hugs to all of you... this week has been a little better for me; hopefully in your life too!

  7. Does no one hang out in chat any more?

    1. rjn

      rjn

      Seems to go up and down. I tend to use it fairly often.

    2. Wings

      Wings

      what time zone are you in? I'll stop by and say hello some time.

    3. rjn
  8. I haven't been here for a while... hello everyone!

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Lilith666

      Lilith666

      Hey, welcome back!

    3. Ellinas

      Ellinas

      Hello. Been rather infrequent myself.

    4. Wings

      Wings

      Thanks thanks-- how are you all? I think it's a good sign (at least for me) of healing when I drift away. Am enjoying the commentary here again. Hope you're well.

  9. This website-- especially the people in the forums-- helped save my life. From the posts that helped me understand my own deconversion experience to the kind words that so many new online friends shared, I found hope and a path to happiness here. Not on very often anymore- a sign of healing, I think- but so amazing to check back in and see more people finding the same hope and comfort here. Big hugs and warm thoughts to you all on your journey! ps. also met my boyfriend of 2 years in the ex-c chat room!!! Why is no one in there anymore, guys?
  10. Hi CS, I just want to give you a big hug and welcome and thank you for sharing your story. I echo what everyone else has said-- you don't have to choose one religion/philosophy or another or apply a label to yourself. Also, it is important to just 'get out there' and see what else there is. I'm not meaning to downplay your pain or experiences, but if you think about it, you've been told for so long that you can't trust yourself, only god, that it's not only about building relatioships with the spiritual and/or other people, you also have to rebuild the relationship with yourself. Be gentl
  11. Posted a secular humanist picture on fb and an aunt quoted scripture at me on it. Feeling both nervous and energized...

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. NeverAgainV

      NeverAgainV

      good 4 u. :D That's a huge step, yaay you.

    3. Wings

      Wings

      it was honestly just a picture with a quote about how it's important to use evidence when believing something. She quoted a bible verse about blessed are those who believe but have not seen. An atheist friend of mine ended up going off on how she's rich for a scam and Jonestown proves what happens when people don't think. Lol. But no, I tend to be rather "quiet" on fb, even though I have to read fundy stuff from other people

    4. Adrianime

      Adrianime

      Well, that's cool I suppose. I've never posted anything related to religion on facebook. Except the quote: "It's easier to fool somebody than to convince them that they have been fooled." Although I don't think that people saw the connection to religion.

  12. Greylight, FYI, I was listening to CBC radio the other day (Canadian equivalent of NPR) and they were listing the top worst Christmas songs and Christmas Shoes ranked as THE worst, most depressing, least-Christmas-like Christmas song of all (subtly focused on consumerism). I laughed, because I hate that song!
  13. my one year ex-c anniversary is on the 21st-- nothing like an apocalypse to celebrate! :)

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Eugene39
    3. Wings
    4. Thurisaz

      Thurisaz

      Anniversary, getting rid of the morontheists via rapture, and celebrate evil heathen Yuletide all the same day - triple win :)

  14. Hi all, thanks for your responses and opinions! I think I'm in the same boat as most of you-- I try to do good because I can! And I appreciate the same from others and will do my best to be a good "steward" because I do care very much.... was just curious about other peoples' experiences or responses to this question. Thanks!
  15. Hi all, I'm not sure this is in the right forum, so please move if necessary. I recently received a petition about an environmentalist cause, which got me to thinking about my own attitude towards the environment. Having always believed that man was given the earth to subdue it, I have actually always felt indifference towards environmentalism (example, I'll recycle if I can, but it doesn't bother me if I don't. I like nature, but I don't tend to donate towards environmental causes, etc.) As an ex-C, I have let go of my Christian attitudes towards environmentalism, and now I'm curious:
  16. I found this especially harmful and repulsive (posted by a woman who is pretty nice but I don't think she thinks about stuff, just clicks share). I know too many people who were victims of physical, sexual and emotional abuse growing up in church. Kids should be protected, and this picture just makes me feel sick to think that people might actually believe "it doesn't matter what's going on here, as long as we've got god."
  17. Eli, thank you so much for sharing your story in such a beautiful way. I'm lucky because I was just able to watch all of it in one sitting and it definitely tugged at my own heart. Our stories are very different and yet so much the same-- deconversion is a hugely painful and confusing process, and most of all, lonely. I can definitely relate to the tears and nights crying out and the dissonance. Thanks for sharing your story for those who are still going through it. By the way, are you still in upstate NY? I'm right across the border in Kingston, ON. Alex Bay, beautiful in the summer, but no
  18. ugh, the crazy fundy xian extended family is emailing xmas plans already... dread!

  19. I totally understand that! I"m soooo embarassed about some of the things I said and in particular about the people I may have hurt with my righteous judgement. Also having been spoon fed since birth, I know I shouldn't be hard on myself about it, but it is shameful and something I try to make up for by attempting to challenge/correct my religious family. For example, two of my best friends are gay men. I used to say the whole, "hate the sin, not the sinner" and all the rest... bla bla. I love and appreciate the diversity of other people so much more... hope to influence people for the good thi
  20. Hi Sunflower, welcome to the forums! I love your picture by the way-- IT makes me smile I echo everyone else when I say that I'm really happy that you found your freedom at a young age. It IS exciting that you have it off your shoulders and you're feeling the freedom. The deconversion part was the tough part for me and dealing with family and fundy friends... but time heals those things... other relationships have improved and I"m free of mental anguish. It's awesome! So glad that you shared and I hope you can find friendship, freedom and support here!
  21. accidentally just read some "proofs" the xian god is real... didn't buy it, but it made me feel all loopy. Checking in here for some sanity! :)

    1. mymistake

      mymistake

      "The Bible says . . ."

       

    2. Wings

      Wings

      "how else do you explain everything...? The tides. They go in. They go out. Amen."

    3. Positivist

      Positivist

      There is "evidence" for many viewpoints; there is also misappropriated and misapplied evidence. Remember that these existential questions have been contemplated since the dawn of consciousness. No one has a solid answer on anything--all are best guesses but the differenc lies in the degree of certainty and/or arrogance. The best we can do is evaluate the evidence and make a decision and move on. Be not shaken, Wings!

  22. hope you all have a great weekend... unwind, destress, love life, be your best! xo :)

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. noob

      noob

      Thanks! You too!!!

    3. PeaceOfMind

      PeaceOfMind

      I also agree on the screwing part.

    4. Wings

      Wings

      Well, I need a date first, soooo.. I'll just drink and relax this weekend and cross my fingers for the next :)

  23. I'm the worst of the worst of the black sheep... just learned my aunt has been telling people that during my three-month humanitarian aid internship in Africa all I did was "prance around" and travel and that I should've done an aid mission

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Akheia

      Akheia

      I don't know your aunt, but I'm willing to bet that people already know she's got a particular flair for misrepresentation.

    3. openpalm45

      openpalm45

      Duuude. That pisses me off, for your sake!

    4. florduh

      florduh

      I'm proud of you. Keep on prancing.

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