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Conference on Religious Trauma

Wings

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Everything posted by Wings

  1. Wings
    Thank you! My kids keep me on my toes, as running my business from home. I was comfortable with not having to fit into the Christian mold before becoming devout so this feels natural to me. I actually like not knowing everything because it leaves room to discover and learn new things. And these are the things I want my children to have a love for too -- be curious about everything! Oops! I mis-read your name from the person who commented last. Persephone is indeed a lovely name. Really liked your perspective about discovering and learning new things. I needed that reminder as well!
  2. Wings
    Hi Chilled, your story was very emotional to read. I'm glad that you are feeling better now and hope that you feel stronger every day in the choices you've made, in your beautiful children and all the wonderful things you get to enjoy in this life. Hugs!
  3. Wings

    Those days when you just feel like you belong nowhere.

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Deidre

      Deidre

      I've had days like that. ((hugs))

    3. Thought2Much

      Thought2Much

      I call that "my life."

    4. Wings

      Wings

      Thanks all-- most appreciated and I know that many of us know what it feels like at least some of the time. Big hugs to all of you... this week has been a little better for me; hopefully in your life too!

  4. Wings

    Does no one hang out in chat any more?

    1. rjn

      rjn

      Seems to go up and down. I tend to use it fairly often.

    2. Wings

      Wings

      what time zone are you in? I'll stop by and say hello some time.

    3. rjn

      rjn

      UTC +1.

  5. Wings

    I haven't been here for a while... hello everyone!

    1. Show previous comments  7 more
    2. Lilith666

      Lilith666

      Hey, welcome back!

    3. Ellinas

      Ellinas

      Hello. Been rather infrequent myself.

    4. Wings

      Wings

      Thanks thanks-- how are you all? I think it's a good sign (at least for me) of healing when I drift away. Am enjoying the commentary here again. Hope you're well.

  6. Wings
    This website-- especially the people in the forums-- helped save my life. From the posts that helped me understand my own deconversion experience to the kind words that so many new online friends shared, I found hope and a path to happiness here. Not on very often anymore- a sign of healing, I think- but so amazing to check back in and see more people finding the same hope and comfort here. Big hugs and warm thoughts to you all on your journey! ps. also met my boyfriend of 2 years in the ex-c chat room!!! Why is no one in there anymore, guys?
  7. Wings
    Hi CS, I just want to give you a big hug and welcome and thank you for sharing your story. I echo what everyone else has said-- you don't have to choose one religion/philosophy or another or apply a label to yourself. Also, it is important to just 'get out there' and see what else there is. I'm not meaning to downplay your pain or experiences, but if you think about it, you've been told for so long that you can't trust yourself, only god, that it's not only about building relatioships with the spiritual and/or other people, you also have to rebuild the relationship with yourself. Be gentle on and kind to yourself-- it takes time. I went through a pretty messy deconversion and church discipline process and have now been out for a year. I was a WRECK for a while and really thought I'd never make it. Somehow, one day at a time, I just got stronger and better and I'm happy without any religion now. The biggest thing was learning how to trust my own decisions to do the right thing and to accept and forgive myself when things didn't go as planned. In addition to all the rest of the comments above, I'd say just love yourself and give yourself permission to feel the full range of motions and take the time that it takes to heal. Galien, I also want to send you a big hug!! I hope things get better for you soon, but thinking of you and wishing you warm thoughts only.
  8. Wings

    Posted a secular humanist picture on fb and an aunt quoted scripture at me on it. Feeling both nervous and energized...

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. NeverAgainV

      NeverAgainV

      good 4 u. :D That's a huge step, yaay you.

    3. Wings

      Wings

      it was honestly just a picture with a quote about how it's important to use evidence when believing something. She quoted a bible verse about blessed are those who believe but have not seen. An atheist friend of mine ended up going off on how she's rich for a scam and Jonestown proves what happens when people don't think. Lol. But no, I tend to be rather "quiet" on fb, even though I have to read fundy stuff from other people

    4. Adrianime

      Adrianime

      Well, that's cool I suppose. I've never posted anything related to religion on facebook. Except the quote: "It's easier to fool somebody than to convince them that they have been fooled." Although I don't think that people saw the connection to religion.

  9. Wings

    my one year ex-c anniversary is on the 21st-- nothing like an apocalypse to celebrate! :)

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. Eugene39

      Eugene39

      Cool!

    3. Wings

      Wings

      thanks :)

    4. Thurisaz

      Thurisaz

      Anniversary, getting rid of the morontheists via rapture, and celebrate evil heathen Yuletide all the same day - triple win :)

  10. Wings
    I found this especially harmful and repulsive (posted by a woman who is pretty nice but I don't think she thinks about stuff, just clicks share). I know too many people who were victims of physical, sexual and emotional abuse growing up in church. Kids should be protected, and this picture just makes me feel sick to think that people might actually believe "it doesn't matter what's going on here, as long as we've got god."
  11. Wings
    Eli, thank you so much for sharing your story in such a beautiful way. I'm lucky because I was just able to watch all of it in one sitting and it definitely tugged at my own heart. Our stories are very different and yet so much the same-- deconversion is a hugely painful and confusing process, and most of all, lonely. I can definitely relate to the tears and nights crying out and the dissonance. Thanks for sharing your story for those who are still going through it. By the way, are you still in upstate NY? I'm right across the border in Kingston, ON. Alex Bay, beautiful in the summer, but not good for camping out in the winter! So glad that you're doing better now. Big hugs! Kristen
  12. Wings

    ugh, the crazy fundy xian extended family is emailing xmas plans already... dread!

  13. Wings
  14. Wings
    Hi Sunflower, welcome to the forums! I love your picture by the way-- IT makes me smile I echo everyone else when I say that I'm really happy that you found your freedom at a young age. It IS exciting that you have it off your shoulders and you're feeling the freedom. The deconversion part was the tough part for me and dealing with family and fundy friends... but time heals those things... other relationships have improved and I"m free of mental anguish. It's awesome! So glad that you shared and I hope you can find friendship, freedom and support here!
  15. Wings

    accidentally just read some "proofs" the xian god is real... didn't buy it, but it made me feel all loopy. Checking in here for some sanity! :)

    1. mymistake

      mymistake

      "The Bible says . . ."

       

    2. Wings

      Wings

      "how else do you explain everything...? The tides. They go in. They go out. Amen."

    3. Positivist

      Positivist

      There is "evidence" for many viewpoints; there is also misappropriated and misapplied evidence. Remember that these existential questions have been contemplated since the dawn of consciousness. No one has a solid answer on anything--all are best guesses but the differenc lies in the degree of certainty and/or arrogance. The best we can do is evaluate the evidence and make a decision and move on. Be not shaken, Wings!

  16. Wings

    hope you all have a great weekend... unwind, destress, love life, be your best! xo :)

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. noob

      noob

      Thanks! You too!!!

    3. PeaceOfMind

      PeaceOfMind

      I also agree on the screwing part.

    4. Wings

      Wings

      Well, I need a date first, soooo.. I'll just drink and relax this weekend and cross my fingers for the next :)

  17. Wings

    I'm the worst of the worst of the black sheep... just learned my aunt has been telling people that during my three-month humanitarian aid internship in Africa all I did was "prance around" and travel and that I should've done an aid mission

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Akheia

      Akheia

      I don't know your aunt, but I'm willing to bet that people already know she's got a particular flair for misrepresentation.

    3. openpalm45

      openpalm45

      Duuude. That pisses me off, for your sake!

    4. florduh

      florduh

      I'm proud of you. Keep on prancing.

  18. Wings

    Irony- I work in diversity awareness and many of my xian family are bigots and homophobes mobilizing political action against "gender identity". Thanks for keeping me employed, jerks!

    1. florduh

      florduh

      I guess that would be bittersweet irony.

  19. Wings
    Many many moments led to a slow deconversion... a step at a time. It hit me when I was in Ghana. It's an extremely religious nation and everyone asks "are you a Christian?" as soon as they meet you. I realized I was, unconsciously, answering everyone, "I am from the Christian tradition...." instead of "yes, I'm a Christian." When I got home from Africa I started reading about losing faith and that was the end.
  20. Wings
    I'm sorry. That was also my reaction... nothing is sacred anymore!
  21. Wings
  22. Wings
    Geezer (oh boy, I feel like I'm insulting you when I say that ), welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story. It certainly sounds like it's been a turbulent time, but I'm very happy that you and your wife are at a "calm" place and you are comfortable with your deconversion and growing knowledge. You are accepted here and I look forward to hearing more from you. It's especially very kind that you want to help others and I'm sure that you will be a great presence here!
  23. Wings
    RR, McDaddy took the words out of my mouth... it's too bad that this is happening now and not within your control, but I don't know if there's ever a good time. Wishing you the very best through these tough times...
  24. Wings

    just realized the gap that exists between single me and my married-mom friends... pics of a birth on fb and everyone says, "that's so beautiful." I want to post, "that made me throw up a little!"

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. Wings

      Wings

      It's not the kids part I find weird. It's the comments like, "that brought tears to my eyes, so joyful" on pictures of her literally giving birth, that I don't understand

    3. blackpudd1n

      blackpudd1n

      Sounds like something that needs to be submitted to STFU parents :P

    4. Wings

      Wings

      Lol... is that a site, Pudd? Sounds like my "home"

  25. Wings
    JoyChristina, welcome to ex-C and thank you for sharing your story. I don't come from an evangelical background so I can't entirely relate, but it sounds like you've been through some pretty brutal experiences. However, in spite of the horrors and pain you faced, you show real courage in being able to remain so understanding and compassionate. Wishing you the very best and much support as you continue this journey! Hugs!
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