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electech98 last won the day on May 29 2012

electech98 had the most liked content!

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About electech98

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    Reading!, drums, computers, science, gaming, history
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    Husband, father of 3 girls and 1 boy, ex-deacon in a Reformed Christian church, currently coming forward with my non-belief to my family and friends.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?

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  1. Very glad to hear from you again, Duckie, and that the news is very positive!
  2. I think we need to give Duckie a break, guys. First she has pressure from her dad to fall in line with his faith, but now it seems she's being pressured by some on the board here to get the hell out of dodge, when it's quite clear that she plans on doing just that on the timetable she has set. Ultimately SHE is the one who is in the situation and she knows exactly how much she can take. 6 months from now is not that long, contrary to what others have said, especially when she's lived there pretty much her whole life. Let her feel comfortable in her decision to stay or go, because there's so much we here on the board don't know - financial situation, the real level of good or bad in her relationship with her dad, feasibility of finding work/boarding in such a short amount of time while still going to school, etc. She, like any of us here, might have found that she would rather put up with 6 more months of punctuated madness in exchange for not having to worry nearly as much about the possibility of falling into financial ruin or even homelessness, which would ultimately affect her ability to continue going to school, finding work, getting a place to stay, etc.
  3. By the way, talked to my wife last night. She was, at the most, ambivalent. Doesn't want drama to happen between us. Would rather I just ignore his emails and whatnot. I saw it was hard for her to see my point of view or see his actions as wrong. I can't just ignore his emails and send them to the trash. It is implied in his last email that he would try to talk to / confront me in person if we were visiting or whatever. I need to set the precedent that any contact between him and me on anything relating to faith and religion is off-limits, both electronically and in person. I can't send personal confrontations to the junk email box.
  4. I just can't bring myself to stoop to his level. My own self-respect would feel violated somehow if I also act like a jackass back. Someone else I know told me something funny: what's he trying to do? Bring you back to Jesus by being an asshole?
  5. I'm thinking I will have to let my wife know finally what is going on here. I have not shown her any of the emails from him since the ones he cc'd her on in May 2012. But she should know that it might be getting more serious about my blocking communication from him, since it might affect her in so e way too. I think it will be interesting to see what her take on all this is.
  6. Sucks for him because it wasn't any bluff. I will get legal if I have to. I'm not going to kowtow to harassment just because he's my wife's dad.
  7. Well. Probably just opened a whole can of worms here. I sent the email to him today after he emailed me a link in regards to a Christian going to an "atheist" church. That was it. I had to send the email I created on the previous page of this thread. He wrote back. The arrogant prick. I will take a day to think about my response to him, but it's basically going to be to the tune of "do not contact me at all then, all emails will be going to the trash, all books will be returned or thrown in the trash."
  8. By the way, since you and I hail from the same denomination, just thought I'd tell you: my sister-in-law, who lives with us, is trying to leave the church I used to go to for a more low-key, contemporary Reformed church in town. Her reasons for leaving are various, but include things like stodginess, lack of feeling included in the group, lack of positive growth or movement toward getting away from outdated traditions, etc. She had a meeting with the pastor last night...it did not go well. As I expected, he berated her and attempted to make her feel guilty for wanting to leave...basically, it is wounded pride talking. He did the same stuff with me. My SIL's good friend is also leaving that same church, and I'm sure it'll be the same thing - guilt trip after guilt trip for wanting change or wanting to leave instead of really listening to the reasons why. That seems to be common in that denomination - guilted into becoming a member, guilted into keeping your opinions to yourself, guilted when trying to change or leave...guilt, guilt, guilt! I hope you are still not having to go to your dad's church any more. If you are, I'm sure you marriage and moving away can't come fast enough!
  9. Duckie, Just so you know, it is really good to hear from you. It seems like forever since we last talked. It is good to see you taking a stand against emotional blackmail from certain family members...sorry that is has to be your dad. Please keep us updated, and I hope your upcoming wedding is totally awesome! Jeremy
  10. A boundary you don't enforce is no boundary at all. Speak up if you even slightly feel the line has been crossed. Otherwise he might just start to think it is always OK to push the boundaries, as if he's looking for an opportunity to catch you when your "defenses are down." That's what my feeling has been. Honestly, he doesn't just get to push and push and push until I finally give in. I'm more confident now of sending that reply back to him.
  11. This is the line in his email that pissed me off the most. He's clearly baiting you. "Presupposition" is particularly self-righteous, and it's obvious he's getting off on preaching to you, the jerk. The whole presupposition thing is an amateur attempt at excusing belief in a way that they don't have to try to prove what they are asserting. He is a Van Tilian presuppositionalist as a Reformed Christian / Calvinist, which means he presupposes the Bible is the Word of God and that the Word of God is true. They then look at all matters of life and faith through that presupposition, but the problem is that they haven't even established those very things they assume. They are coming from a starting point that has already taken many many assumptions to get to - there is a God, there is only one God, that God is the God described in the Bible, the Bible is God's divine revelation to man, God is perfect, God's Word is perfect, so therefore the Bible is infallible and inerrant. In the end, it's a way to assert supposed theological superiority over other religions or non-religion without the requirement for a proper logical basis for their beliefs. And to think, I was once a part of that system.
  12. I still very much appreciate everyone's replies. I have thought about when to bring up the whole "stepping over the boundaries" thing with him, and have wondered if it might be something to keep in my back pocket until an in-person confrontation might ever take place. There will be times in the future, I'm sure, that we will see each other in person, and I have the feeling that it is not above him to try to pull me aside to either rebuke me or ask me a bunch of questions in relation to my deconversion. At that time I would definitely stop him right then and there to tell him he has continually crossed over the clear line I marked, and that his line of questioning or rebuking will stop. But it may not be the worst idea to remind him of the boundary now before it may get to an in-person confrontation. At this point, he may have honestly overlooked or forgotten I called "off-limits" to anything between us having to do with faith and religion.
  13. Well, you know, it's because the most important thing to them is their faith and the need to have everyone else fall in line with it, over all other things and priorities. So, you know, tact flies out the window and any semblance of them really truly listening to someone who doesn't believe the same stuff is most likely just a charade. At least he is still making monthly payments for the loan we gave him.
  14. Vigile is right...there's no way I could send him something that was obviously meant to be snarky or spiteful, even if in a playful tone. He would know I was trying to get his goat, so to speak. Although I HAVE been tempted to tell him that his belief in the total sovereignty of God means that God sovereignly made me an atheist. Unfortunately there's not much to talk about with him besides religion because he is a pastor in the denomination I used to be a part of. Faith and religion is his life. His other interests lie in cars and photography and that's about it, neither of which I have any strong interest in. Our emails (before my deconverion) have always been related to religion or business (he owes us money) or about family stuff (pictures he's taken, etc.). He is the type of guy who is incredibly hard to have a conversation with if it doesn't have anything to do with religion, cars, or cameras.
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