Jump to content

Akheia

Regular Member
  • Content Count

    3,225
  • Joined

  • Days Won

    39

Everything posted by Akheia

  1. Man alive, I just live for those moments when someone decides to lecture everybody about what TRUE CHRISTIANITY™ involves. When the lecture combines tons of unsupported assertions about the supernatural, I get just giddy. And when the lecturer decides to throw in some paean to whatever they think was the One True Original Christianity That Was Totally Corrupted by Evil BAD CHRISTIANS, guys, it is like Christmas to me. I'm not kidding. I'm laughing over here. What a load of horse bollocks. Dude has no idea in the world what the history of this religion is, much less how many squabbles about sig
  2. This. He sounds pretty flippy-dippy to me. You may have dodged a bullet with this one. If religion's a dealbreaker for him, then he's not the one for you. But in the meanwhile, it hurts. It can indeed feel like having the rug pulled out from under you. You're right to feel that way. He started out the relationship on one footing, and then did a sudden 180 and now he's a religious fanatic upset with YOU and blaming YOU for something that isn't your fault at all, and worst of all expecting YOU to go through a song-and-dance to help soothe his weird freakout. Dude's a loony, and you're quite righ
  3. Akheia

    BAA

    My deepest, deepest sorrow for BAA's passing. I know I don't hang out much nowadays, but I always looked forward to BAA's very patient takedowns of Christian apologetics talking points. They were an education of inestimable value--just as he himself was an ex-Christian of inestimable compassion and intelligence. I cannot imagine the pain Maureen faces and offer my most profound condolences to her and the rest of BAA's circle of friends. I'll always remember this eulogy - and its optimism and forward-thinking. In these and many other ways, it was a perfect reflection of BAA himself.
  4. I wouldn't say that. Ever. If someone makes you feel bad and won't change the behaviors after you've made clear that those behaviors hurt you, cut 'em loose. You don't need to justify the decision to him either. You deserve good people around you who spur you to your best--not people who will trample you constantly. Don't take shit like that from anybody. He's not interested in your best interests. If you're not either, then you're going to see yourself dragged under by him.
  5. Let's just say these Christians were probably feeling a bit inadequate in their pants.
  6. FWIW, I think you did the right thing. That last conversation you recounted makes the guy sound very manipulative. He's still got his Jesus Blinders on, and he's acting super-Jesus-y, like a character in a movie--because he very likely sees himself that way. But to others, he comes off as, well, manipulative, creepily childish, and boundary-violating. You weren't asking him to put Jesus aside. You were just asking for the consideration anybody would ask for: to enjoy stuff you both like together. At least he's told you exactly where he stands. He's going to be rude, self-centered, and whiny ev
  7. Most WTF: "God" made and planted dinosaur bones so that human beings would find them and work together to find out about Creationism. (From a guy who'd far rather have a trickster god than no god at all.) Yes, because that Bible-God dude is super into people learning stuff and working together, amirite? Most Blatantly Dishonest: Yeah, this older Christian Bible College student absolutely swore up and down that he had kept a prayer journal for a year and OMG YOU GUYS ALL HIS PRAYERS KEPT COMING TRUE. When I demanded to see a scan of the journal, he admitted he'd been lying. He made
  8. By attacking your motivations, Mags is recentering the conversation on you and what she views as your suspicious motivations rather than on your concerns about the religion. She does this because in Christianity these attempts tend to be brutally effective. (Silencing tactics work much the same way, and are equally effective.) She literally cannot address your actual concerns, so her goal will be to make you feel bad for even doubting the nonsense you've been indoctrinated with--and if possible to get you to doubt your own common sense. After all, millions of Americans weren't abused as kids o
  9. You may forget but

    Let me tell you

    This: someone in

    Some future time

    Will think of us

     

    --Sappho

  10. Hey, CircesSong, I just wanted to say - I'm sorry you're going through this. Someone tipped me off elsenet that you were here and my heart just went out to you when I read your post. You're not alone. I'm the one who wrote the Promises post mentioned earlier and I still totally feel the way I wrote about a couple of years ago. I don't have specific advice beyond to proceed carefully, which it sounds like you're already dedicated to doing. Your situation is very serious and I agree with the earlier poster who thinks you could benefit from a secular counselor, whether or not your husband wishes
  11. You do what I did when I moved to a country where they don't speak English. You learn a new language. And there's no better way to learn it than immersion, is there? But you ask some very good questions.. 1. This is perfectly natural. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you not to worry. Nobody knows what comes next. But now at least you do not have the false comfort of a lie to keep you from thinking about it. Whatever comes after death, it was going to happen regardless of what you believed about it. Every one of us wrestled with that question, I'm willing to bet. Every human being
  12. You seem very sweet and loving to your friend. I know you'll find the right way to talk to her when the time is right. It was very sweet of you as well to let that distressed woman have her little moment. I think I'd have reacted just like you did. I hope you get it worked out with your friend. My favorite misspelling is "Christain." It just seems like such a huge Freudian slip!
  13. That was sweet to read. You're so right. Sometimes I've envied my own sister her normal-seeming life; she has two kids, a marriage that's lasted like 25 years, a house in the suburbs, and all that. But she's told me she kinda envies my life too. I can sleep in on weekends, have sex whenever I want (with consent of course from Mr. Akheia), go out if I can afford it without arranging sitters and whatnot, and my life is not an endless parade of laundry, dog cleanup, and extracurricular activities. You never know what someone else sees in your own life. This health coaching thing sounds very
  14. Joyce Meyers gets my blood boiling. Not only does she do that bullshit Prosperity Gospel, but she places all blame for all a Christian's problems on that Christian. Are you depressed? Clearly you just don't trust your god enough! Are you having issues in your life? You're not obedient enough! (Obedience is measured in great part, of course, by how much money you give to her "ministry".)She's nice and obedient (whatever that means for herself) so she gets a private plane and enough money to bathe in. If you don't have that, clearly you are doing something wrong spiritually and it's all your fau
  15. Or are the people who created him hoping you don't seriously critically examine the shit they are shoveling at you? If I were making a false religion, the first thing you can bet I would do would be to make critical thinking into a sin and gullibility into a virtue. Seems kind of strange that Christianity seems to involve so much gullible acceptance and mindless obedience, doesn't it?
  16. Congratulations on getting some of this figured out! Don't feel compelled to do anything before you're ready. Some people here have spent years not telling their folks they don't believe anymore. It's okay, whatever you decide.
  17. I wish every fundie alive could read this thread. It's shocking to me now that I actually thought that the best way to "love" people was to terrorize them with threats of Hell and entreaties to become just as oppressed and steamrolled as I was. I meant that word, shocking. It is simply breathtaking to imagine how wrong I was about how to treat people.
  18. Saw this blog entry about how to engage with an anti-oppression site, and though the writer is working from a feminist/POC viewpoint, the post applies quite well to a site dealing with the abuses and overreaches of Christianity. I link to it in hopes that Christians will see it and maybe learn a couple things. I do not see ex-C here as existing to teach Thumbelina how to become a better person. Her own god has not improved even a single iota her raging case of narcissistic entitlement, so I don't see how a forum full of ex-Christians (a group she doesn't understand in the slightest and is clea
  19. Don't laugh, but that's exactly the reasoning I was taught as a Baptist and then as a Pentecostal. The worst part? If the people who think this way even know about the huge divorce rate among fundagelical Christians, they'll hand-wave it away by saying all those people just hadn't prayed enough or the right way or were following "the flesh." Yep, all of them. Obviously. And I've heard 'em say it in their out-loud voices. So they get the worst advice possible about how to choose a marriage partner, then never learn how to conduct themselves within a healthy marriage relationship, and then w
  20. It must have been aggravating to get asked why you deconverted, and then told to shut up once you'd answered.
  21. That's about what happened to me too. I was such a pain in the ass to my family. Makes me cringe even today.
  22. Christians can be downright evil and nasty to family members who step outside the herd. You're about to get a big ole helping of "Christian love" once you come clean. It was one of the things that made me seriously think I'd done the right thing in leaving the religion, when I saw what happened when I left! Please remember your rights and insist upon them; nobody can force you to talk about anything you don't want to talk about, and nobody can trample on you if you don't let them. If you don't think your relatives want to really have a fruitful and constructive dialogue but rather just want
  23. I read that piece; it's not bad, but like most fundagelicals he confuses "rights" with "privileges" even while trying to advise against trying to reclaim Christian privilege. Then he goes on to say that he doesn't like using same-sex marriage as a marker of whether or not a church is a TRUE CHRISTIAN™ church, and then goes on two fucking sentences later to use same-sex marriage as a marker of whether or not a church is a TRUE CHRISTIAN™ church: Cognitive dissonance: it's what's for dinner.
  24. I'm sorry you're going through this conflict. And with someone who's supposed to have your back, too.. that makes it so much worse. I think it'd bug me a lot to be told I'm not allowed to discuss certain things with my own relatives. It's disrespectful and seems very controlling. I wonder.. does she hold to a Happy Christian Marriage illusion much? Like do you get the sense (as I am here) that she wants you to at least pretend that things are still just the way they used to be so she can feel a little more comfy?
  25. No worries at all! You're safe.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Guidelines.