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About rachel15

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?

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  1. Thanks for your reply @Geezer. I've actually realised a relationship with one parent has been toxic to my health too, so it looks like I need to implement some changes quite quickly in order to get to know new people socially.
  2. I haven't been very good at processing these emotions since I had to suppress how I felt a lot of the time with my family of origin. I was making lots of effort to try to forgive people (some very crappy things happened) and then ask Jesus to take the 'bad feeling' away but I've felt rather stuck for so long and now that I'm questioning everything and faith has been unravelling, I realise that a fresh approach is long overdue ! Does anyone have any tips for how to deal with these feelings over past situations or things people have said or done? I wondered if this had been much of an issue for others and am also open to hearing ideas from other spiritual perspectives too . (I do write a little, but it doesn't always help me to let go of the negative and I did see a counsellor at one point but we didn't get as far as discussing this because I was still hanging on to the idea of forgiveness being the ultimate cure all.)
  3. Thanks very much for all that you've shared @TrueScotsman, @LogicalFallacyand @Margee and I remember I think @Burnedout wrote too - really appreciate you looking in on thread. Going to browse some books online to see what would help gently move me on a bit. Sorry i missed some people out - its been a while since I checked in - am rereading thread - thank you.
  4. Thanks for writing @LostinParis - its good to hear from someone who also has experience with health issues who came through the other side. I think I am realising in my case that I have to go a bit slower and find someone nearby who I can talk to as well - but its not like I can pray and ask God to guide me to someone. I think there is a meet up of atheists somewhere nearby which I will check up on.
  5. hi Deva, thanks very much for writing - your comments above really resonated with me. I already had come from a family where I had been almost taught not to trust my own judgment and somehow I realise I need to work on this very much.
  6. hi, sorry to disappear suddenly - you guys gave me a lot to think about and then I thought about things and several things happened:- I realised that almost all of my friends are Christian - mostly with strong faith - they are my main support network. I began to think that if the bible were true about their being a devil then I'd be a sitting target posting here on this forum. I have c-ptsd and added to this, it feels too much to manage on my own and I'm not sure who to explore this locally. I've been very ill for the past month which I think is stress related after I caught a cold, haven't been able to shake it off and now have other stress related ailments. My meds stopped working for a time as I was taking a different brand - sigh..... So much of my thinking has been influenced by Christian teaching, and I'm realising I'm still very deeply caught up in it. So, I think I need to do some reading ......
  7. hi @LogicalFallacy, Thank you for taking the time to reply and give further explanations - in answer to the highlighted question - I'm finding it hard to let go of the notion of something that created us, at some point - because I find it difficult to believe that we could have evolved from random cells and although the theory of evolution is accepted by most people - in the past there have been scientific theories believed for centuries until eventually proved wrong, but of course I don't know that we have a creator or creators. I'm not disagreeing totally with evolutionary theory - and again, maybe to others this will sound way off, (all I can say is forgive me, I've had my head stuck in the bible for many years), but I can see how species can adapt and evolve to fit into their environment as it changes, but not how life can have evolved in such a creatively organised and complex manner from the same starting point without some outside intervention.
  8. Hi @MOHO, yeah, I was told that God was outside time, so in a sense in a different reality that was beyond our comprehension. So the idea of a divine being outside of the universe that must be more complex, does perhaps seem a little childlike to believe. What if there are 'gods' that have evolved from within the universe, that are creating?
  9. hi @LogicalFallacy, when I read your question, sigh, I had to laugh at myself for being so persistent after trying to hard to follow Christianity, failing and then posting here. I think its because as a child I believed that there was a God (and I didn't know much about the bible) watching over things who you were accountable to. I have vague memories of going to Sunday school a few times when very young. I never got really into the bible, but the idea of God being there as a moral guide stuck - and in school assemblies we would pray every morning. And, when I think of the universe and our planet, it just seems too incredible for it to have come about by chance. Also, I think laws of maths and physics seem to point to a higher intelligence. But, I can't accept the bible. Its been too damaging to me to try and navigate it as believe in it as the truth. So may be I'm making up my own God - which is perhaps what everybody does who's a theist. But its really early days - I was just looking at a site about Buddhism today very briefly and some thoughts there helpful. Thanks for prompting me to think this through a little more .......
  10. Thanks @TrueScotsman, At the moment, maybe it sounds crazy, but I still believe that there is a God - but not the biblical God (at least not one that agrees with all the bible and its contradictions) - perhaps a Creator Spirit or perhaps there are several gods or archetypes. Thanks for mentioning about meditation - I don't have much experience of that, but yes, from what you've I agree it could be helpful to look into.
  11. hi @Orbit, thanks - yes, actually my sister is showing an interest in Buddhism and mentioned a retreat to me which sounded good - well, to be honest, part of the appeal was the healthy vegan food on offer !! I don't know much, if anything about Zen Buddhism though, but I think that my brain probably needs to rest a little while before pursuing a new spiritual belief - but I like the possibility of exploring it for the future.
  12. Hi @Contemplation, interesting about hypnosis - I remember an online conversation saying that everyone is 'hypnotised' to an extent by their beliefs - and people can flip in and out of trance during the day.
  13. hi MOHO, Thanks so much for writing and for the hope and advice you've given. I can stop praying and reading the bible easily enough, which I am glad to do. Although, there's been so much brainwashing - I caught myself singing a Christian song today which I'm not even that keen on. Extricating myself from the church I am less confident about, but perhaps that's for another thread. Did you carry on going to church? Great idea to find something to throw myself into - I'll be looking this week.
  14. hi @LostinParis, prior to becoming involved in Christianity, my experience of denial was with relatives who seem to selectively ignore certain information that you told them ie when confronted with something - it seemed like a kind of blindness, perhaps because of an unwillingness to face up to a fact or issue because of the implications and consequences. So I think its protective in some way for the person themselves, or towards someone or something else that they value, perhaps ultimately in terms of their self-belief.
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