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About Smokey4352

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    Trying to figure out the truth and fix my crisis of faith by deconverting to another religion or changing denomination.
  • More About Me
    I am an Australian who has always been what you could losely call a Christian (but non practicing and I always seem to argue with full on believers and point out contradictions in the bible, I also completely reject the old testament and am aware of contradictions in the new testament and un-fulfilled prophecy, I do not believe the bible can be completely true/accurate) and has been optimistic. I also suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and it has been flaring up terribly with some bipolarish stuff going on. My marriage is failing also because my mental illness and my wife is a full on born again Christian who tells me that my OCD can be healed and it hasn't because I am not praying hard enough or do not believe properly. My mental illness is tormenting me with heaps of religious stuff and I see all the contradictions again - so that is why I am here. To deconvert or change religion/denomination.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?
    Agnostic. Good pure love god.

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  1. Thank you for your thoughts, really appreciated. They moved in because they gave everything to their kids and their kids screwed them, they were forced to sell their huge 5 bedroom home because of it. My wife wanted to help them for a short period until they could rent. Actually I am a Canberrian too :-) I've probably passed you in the street before, you know what this place is like! I really have copped in earful! Whenever it came on the news it would trigger my MIL and would set her off on a rant. Actually my PIL tried to open my survey letter when they all arrived to tick no. Hi Lost in Paris, (what a beautiful place to be lost!) I feel and understand what you're going through, I hope things improve. Thank you for the book recommendation - I shall pick up a copy. Thank you for the kind wishes :-)
  2. Thank you so much Ann, much appreciated :-) I really know what you mean about feeling alone in a bad relationship, it's a frightening feeling at times too. Sleeping next to someone that may not have your best interest at heart. Thanks again -Smokey
  3. Thankyou so much to everyone for the overwhelming support and wishes. I am going to reply to the questions generally rather than quote each post because I am away from home (not home anymore) and I am on a small smartphone. I don't have any kids in this situation thankfully, but unfortunately this particular house is in my wife's name only. Although I have actively financially contributed to it. I probably could get something after a divorce because our previous house was in both our names and while we were separated for two years, she sold it and put all the equity into this new one. I am focusing on establishing myself in a flat for now and getting my mental health under control. In Australian law, constant seperation must be achieved for a year before divorce can be filed so I will be waiting a while before I can claim anything. Thank you all for the divorce advise too, you are right, it's over. I don't want a bad marriage to be the end of me, so I'm getting out. This whole thing wasn't for lack of trying I tell you! I was separated for my wife for two years from my last post in 2012, then we gave it one more try. It's going to be hard to be alone again but I suppose I can try to date. I definitely will stay around this forum this time because I want to explore why I am still effected sometimes by Christian doctrine. I want to explore also why it has been so destructive to my marriage. Perhaps I should financially contribute. Thanks again everyone. -Smokey
  4. G'day, It's been a very long time since I've posted. Where I stand is that I'm agnostic and not Christian anymore. But due to suffering from OCD, sometimes I fear religious content. So to cut a long story short, I am living with my wife again for a last chance at a broken marriage and her full on bible bashing pentecostalist parents have moved in. It was supposed to be for a month but it's been several now. My father in law has brought with him almost twenty five copies of the KJ bible with different covers and he leaves some of them all over the house which gives me the sh*ts. Sometimes he takes over the TV and watches Christian movies up very loud. I have managed to keep the peace until tonight and I spose I need advice on it please. So earlier in the night, my FIL had some Christian movie playing loud on the TV and I was in the same room on my Lappy trying to get some work done. The movie was starting to get to me and I looked up and saw some scene where a husband then wife was threatened by a Christian mob for not giving ALL the proceeds of the sale of their house to the church (presumably), the Christian shouted at them that they'd lied to God, then blood started running from their noses and they were dead and the mob coldly buried one then the other (before the wife was killed, she was told her husband was killed by god for his lies and buried, wonderful). Apparently this is a bible story but I don't recall reading it as a kid? I lost it and shouted at my FIL "This is like a f*cking horror movie and those innocent people were killed for not giving all their money to a cult!". Not very diplomatic of me I know. So he lost the plot and started shouting at me. Amongst the things he said was that I "saw it out of content" and that I needed to get down on my hands and knees then beg and apologise to almighty God for my blasphemy. He implied that God could strike down anyone and it was actually quite scary. I took it as a religious threat to conform and it stired up old fears that I hadn't felt since when I was more Christian. So I'm typing this on my phone in the garage, my wife wants me to stay in a hotel for upsetting her father. I wonder if the marriage is actually over. I still haven't got my head around all this but could someone please advise on the situation? What should I do? And has anyone ever tried to put the fear of God in you and threaten retribution? What are you thoughts on this particular bible story? What's made it worse is that my FIL has triggered my OCD and I am worried something is going to happen to me. My PIL are the kind if Christians that would probably enjoy someone being struck down for daring to challenge the bible. Thankyou for any advice and help folks. -Smoke
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