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About wanderinstar

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    I am one super-curious naked ape so my list of interests continues to grow
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    Now I have escaped fundamentalist religion I am rebuilding my life by going to University Majoring in Writing where I will learn things like writing of all types, editing, journalism and a bit of photography. I also battle with Bipolar on a regular basis which keeps me in and out of functioning.

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  • Still have any Gods? If so, who or what?

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  1. Thanks again everyone. I already have a great non-Christian therapist. I just need a good secular psychiatrist. Saw my current Christian psychiatrist today and he was still spewing Christian terms and told me God is working in my life. Sigh...I am seeing a new psychiatrist in two weeks. Can't wait and hope he is the right fit. Apparently he is more medical and scientific which sounds great. Hope he is willing to take me on. My mood is 'up' at the moment so I need to watch out for mania. So much to juggle in my life right now. I have trauma issues coming up and university starting soon. So far I am coping well. Really hoping this change in doctors helps ease the stress.
  2. Thanks for your support everyone. This has been a very difficult thing to go through, especially with a history of spiritual abuse. On 7th February I am seeing the same doctor again as he wants to keep an eye on me since he realises this has been very destabilising. He wants my parents to come along ( I am 40) to help them help me. I think he is covering his arse and worried I will take drastic action over it. One thing he has got right is my medication so at least that is in order. I am stressed and angry, and a little scared, but ok. Can't wait to see the new Psychiatrist. Just hope he is a good one and I can transfer to him and move on.
  3. Thanks for asking insightful. I'm calming down. See a prospective new psychiatrist on Feb 22nd. Hoping that will go well and I can move on. Still seeing the Christian psychiatrist until at least then. He has apologised for the distress he caused me and admits he can't separate his faith from his profession. Typical fundamentalist. I am still angry but ready to let it go and move on. Been very anxious due to this but coping well.
  4. Feeling really down about this and possibly getting depressed. Hard to tell but it is common after a manic episode. Either way I feel awful and this issue with my psychiatrist is really getting to me. I feel mistreated and it hurts. I see him again on the 4th January and I don't know what to say. I am scared. Never been good with confronting people. The idea of changing doctors is stressful too, especially when so fragile. I need a smooth transition and continuous treatment and luck with a great new doctor and my old doctor being gracious in handing me over with all the right information etc. I just want to curl in a ball and hide. This is so difficult.
  5. Thanks for your posts everyone. I really appreciate the support. I live in Australia so if I report it it will be to the relevant boards here. I am kind of stuck as i live in a small city with only two private psychiatric hospitals and I have been affiliated with one for nearly 7 years. If I change doctors it has to be to one who admits to that hospital which really narrows down the field. Basically, I have to trust my current psychiatrist to write on the referral that I want someone who is non-religious or at least able to treat me without mixing their beliefs in the treatment. I don't know what my current doctor will think about this but I think he will be open to it as he has found religion to be the problem when treating me. This has really crushed me as I thought I had a good relationship with my psychiatrist and that the religious stuff was in the past. He has been a competent doctor and has shown great care for me. Now I see he just wants to save me. Right now I am physically and mentally exhausted after a severe manic break so I am very fragile. To lay this on me now is so unfair. I see him again in a week but don't want to do anything major until I talk with my therapist the following week. I will bring it up though as it has thrown me and he needs to know that. As for reporting him, I will wait until I am stable with a new psychiatrist but then again he/she will probably be from the same practice as mine so it is complicated.
  6. wanderingstar, good to hear from you although I am so sorry you are hurting right now. I would definitely search out a secular professional. Anyone who wants you to depend on a 'higher power' will make you crazy. Maybe for now you could contact Dr. Marlene Winell. She has a phone number and she does consults to help people. I'm not sure what she charges but she helps those who has left the cult and also deals with the emotions and the detrimental effects of leaving the fold. Have a look at her website and see if she might be able to help. But definitely try to find someone who is a non believer. When I was diagnosed 3 years ago with Complex-Ptsd, I was very lucky to have found a councilor who was a non-believer. She made that diagnosis for me and part of that C-Ptsd diagnosis (along with a list of many other things that have put my body into a 'shock' state was the fact that I discovered that there wasn't a god.) She, along with Ex-c and the gang here, helped me to learn how to deal with real life. Have a look at her website and she what she possibly offers.... and hang in there sweetie. Keep us posted at how it goes. Please go do something really nice for yourself today. http://www.marlenewinell.net/ Big ((hug)) Thanks Margee, As I live in Australia I don't have access to Dr Winell unfortunately. I do however at least have a great non-christian therapist who I can process this with but he is away on holidays and won't be back for a couple of weeks. He will be furious at my psychiatrist as it has re-traumatised me and put me in a difficult position. Until then I will vent and try and get support on forums like this. It is good to be back. I had been taking a break as I wanted a break from religion period but this has brought it back to the forefront. I so ***** hate fundamentalist religion.
  7. Hi everyone, I am a new old member from a few years ago. I just wanted to run this issue by a few ex-ers. For four years my psychiatrist has been treating me for Bipolar and PTSD. He knew I was an ex-christian (de-converted June 2012) so several times tried to coax me back into the fold. This infuriated me as I felt he had crossed boundaries so I politely and strongly explained my intellectual reasons for not believing and asked to be left alone in that regard. He respected that and dropped the topic. He was a good doctor by most regards and genuinely cared for my welfare helping me through many severe episodes of illness that led me into hospital. Two weeks ago upon leaving hospital after probably the worst episode of my life he told me he may no longer be able to treat me because he cannot cope with my 'spiritual' beliefs(or lack of) when I am very suicidal. The fact I am not Christian or don't have what he considers a 'solid spiritual grounding' leaves him to feel I am too vulnerable when suicidal and he just can't handle continuing to treat me in these cases. It is too stressful for him. He said if I don't get more stable or find religion then he will have to transfer me to another doctor. This has floored me as I hardly talk of my spiritual beliefs (unless he brings it up and then I tell him I will never be a christian and am a panthers or something close). Sometimes when manic my beliefs go crazy but that is part of the illness so I don't see the problem. When suicidal I don't talk spiritual and being a christian wouldn't stop me anyway. I am not sure if I am explaining this well. My doctor is basically ditching me due to my beliefs and lack of belief. It makes me so angry that he can't just separate his faith from his job. He is also blaming me rather than taking responsibility. In the past Christian ministers totally screwed me over psychologically when trying to deal with my mental illness by casting out demons. This is a reminder of being hurt by a Christian who is supposed to be helping. I am fragile and still recovering from my illness and now this. It hurts. Is it just me or is this unethical?
  8. Welcome! I am glad you are feeling lighter. It is a great feeling.
  9. Sorry to hear of your troubles. I have no wise words but I feel for you and hope you both can work together to find peace
  10. Welcome! Good to have you with us. I am sorry about your pain, it must be difficult to live with.
  11. Welcome Sigh. You are in a very difficult position. I feel for you. Keep asking questions, reading through this site and be open to whatever you may find. No pressure from us for you to believe anything in particular. This is your life, your journey to live as you see fit. I wish you all the best.
  12. Welcome! Great to have you with us Avandris
  13. Well written Chris. So sorry you had to go through all that. religion can really be a mindfuck. Which part of Aus are you from? I'm in Perth.
  14. Welcome! I too can relate to your post, especially the part about the switch being turned off. It was research relating to evolution that flicked my switch too. It is such a shock hey and a tough journey to find your real identity and be yourself around others, especially believers. Keep posting here if you feel the need, many of us have a good understanding of some of the things you are dealing with.
  15. HI Bambi! So sorry to hear of your very real struggles. Having mental health issues along with deconverting is very tough, and I know because I went through it. although all peoples experiences are somewhat different. When I was decoverting I was dealing with PTSD, Bipolar and a marriage break-up and to be honest the deconversion was as difficult as my other struggles. I am also in college studying photography and have had unexplained 'spiritual' experiences so it sounds like we have a lot in common. Now two years on I am beginning to feel much better, although I am still in treatment for the Bipolar. I consider myself a 'spiritual' athiest, perhaps close to Pantheism. Reading up on christianity from all perspectives certainly forced me to see that it is not true, it cannot be true. The experiences you have do not have to fit into a christian world view, there are many ways to look at things. I really hope you find all the support you need. Keep posting if it helps. We are here for you.
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